None of us know who the next Packer Head Coach will be. However, if recent history tells us anything, it’s that it will be a Mike. After Mike Holmgren, Mike Sherman and Mike McCarthy, they’re not going to make the mistake of hiring some Tom, Dick or Ray. Here’s Rick and Len’s evaluations of the pros and cons of some possible Mikes.
Michael Strahan
Pro: Is an NFL Hall of Famer.
Con: How do we expect him to fill gaps on his offensive line when he can’t even fill the gap in his teeth?
Michael Jordon
Con: His extended sports experience does not extend to football.
Pro: If he’s half as good at coaching football as he was at playing baseball the Packers would have the same record they have now.
Michael J. Fox
Con: His debilitating Parkinson’s disease would make working the long hours difficult at best.
Pro: could travel to the future to find out what plays opponents are going to call.
Mike Ditka
Pro: Has some coaching experience.
Con: Coaching a PROFESSIONAL team limited to just 3 seasons with the Saints.
Michael Keaton
Con: No previous coaching experience.
Pro: Having played Batman should help him defeat those jokers from Chicago and Minnesota.
Michael Jackson
Pro: Could teach receivers how to moonwalk away from defenders.
Con: Dead.
Mike Pence
Pro: Once attended a Colts game but got up and left when a player knelt.
Con: Watching players slap each other’s asses gives him a chronic case of boner pants.
Michael Vick
Con: He was not the most popular of players.
Pro: If he has a losing season, fans don’t have to kill his dog, he’ll happily do it himself.
