Click here to request your tickets to next Thursday's Kick Off concert with Kid Rock, Lady Antebellum and Maroon 5.

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Some very caring Fox Valley musicians are putting one hell of a concert September 10th at Tanner's in Kimberly to benefit Hope Gieseke and her family. Hope completed surgery for brain cancer and now she and husband Matt are facing a mountain of medical bills. That's why the boys in Boxkar (Matt's band), Greg Waters and the Broad Street Boogie and Naughty Monkey are getting together a big rock show to help. This ain't no ordinary benefit! Admission is discretionary. In other words, give whatever you feel is appropriate (but we suggest $10,000,000).
For details, click here. Or visit the Hope concert facebook page here.

Stewart Huff from Skyline Comedy Cafe joins us Friday morning at 8 on the RIck and Len Show. Stewart is "not hooked up right" funny!

See him tonight, WAPL Night at Skyline, and get 2 for 1 admission! Just mention WAPL when you make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE or enter the letters WAPL where it says "coupon" on the check-out page when ordering tickets at the Skyline website!

Or see him Friday or Saturday nights at the full (but still very reasonable) price! It's no skin off my nose!

The line-up for the new season of Dancing with the "Stars" has been leaked. This season's "stars" include George Clooney's ex-girlfriend, Kim Kardasian's brother, Sonny and Cher's transgendered son/daughter and Jay Cutler's former fiancee. Perhaps the producers of the show are unaware of what a star is. We're here to help. Here's how to tell...

YOU MAY NOT BE A STAR

If the only restaurant you can get in without a reservation is one where you eat while being entertained by a large animatronic mouse…you’re not really a star.

If when you’re introduced to a crowd, you see more blank stares than history trivia quiz night at the Palin house…you’re not really a star.

If your only claim to fame is spreading your legs for someone who actually IS a star…you’re not really a star.

If the only place your name has appeared in the National Enquirer is on the address label…you’re not really a star.

If your only TV appearance was a show hosted by Bob Saget and your co-star was the guy hitting you in the nuts with a bat…you’re not really a star.

If you killed someone you’d actually get convicted of a crime in California…you’re not really a star.

If the only thing most people know you for is getting dumped by the 1st string quarterback of a 4th rate football team…you’re not really a star.

And if the night you banged that drunken Irish chick was the only time you’ve ever been on a red carpet…you’re definitely not really a star!

10. 5.8 not nearly a big enough jolt to knock any sense into congress.

9. If a quake that powerful hit the Midwest it could reduce Detroit to unlivable rubble if Detroit wasn’t already unlivable rubble.

8. Earthquake damage is expected to take months for residents to repair, weeks for Insurance evaluators to assess and seconds for Republicans to blame on Obama.

7. I wonder if the Tsunami watch for the reflecting pool between the Lincoln Memorial and Washington Monument has expired.

6. After engineers discovered a crack near the top of the Washington Monument, former DC mayor Marion Berry immediately smoked it.

5. Today, experts will evaluate the damage the top of the Washington Monument. They’ll decide if it can be repaired, in which case they’ll call in stone masons or if the tip has to be removed in which case they call in a rabbi.

4. After the quake, the underwear of east coast residents had more brown spots than a herd of leopards.

3. There is no #3. It’s hiding under it’s bed in case there’s an aftershock.

2. It was probably caused by Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson hitting a tectonic plate while trying to dig us out of this hole.

1. The National Cathedral sustained significant damage while Fed-Ex Field and thousands of bars were largely unaffected proving even god would rather get drunk and watch football on Sunday than go to church.

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...
Everyone who called the Appleton City Clerk's office Tuesday, and who I'm sure called city and county clerks all throughout Wisconsin, to complain that they were not allowed to cast a ballot in the six state senate recall elections being held that day.
Clerks had to explain to many angry, confused and stupid constituents that they weren't allowed to vote in the recall election because they don't live in a senate district in which there was a recall election!

So...for not being able to RECALL who their state senator even is...although, truth be told, with this bunch of louts in Madison, who really wants to be reminded of it?

For apparently trying to get a jump start on voter befuddlement over legislative districts ahead of the implementation of the new Republican redistricting plan...when all of Wisconsin will be the state of confusion...

And for trying to exercise their democratic right to vote, which is to be commended, but becoming exhibit A in the case for making people pass an intelligence test before they can cast a ballot...which means I'll never get to vote again...

We are proud to name everyone who called their city or county clerk to bitch about being denied a chance to vote in the recall elections, even though they don't live in a senate district where they were even having an election, as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
the 16-year-old who was busted early Tuesday morning doing 111 miles per hour on
Highway 151 in Dodge County while on his way home from what he called a
late night "taco run" to Beaver Dam. In his defense, the driver told cops he thought he was only doing 95.
So, for not trying to outrun the deputy into the next county...I mean didn't he realize that his late night taco run qualifies as a "run for the border" anyway?
For not using a plausible excuse when pulled over...sorry, officer, but I just ate five tacos and I was speeding home because I really gotta poop. Like now!
And for telling the officer that you thought you were only going 95 miles per hour instead of the 111 he says you were traveling, which is still 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. That proves that with your math skills, you'll likely end up working in an industry where you won't have to travel far for fast food tacos...you'll be behind the counter...and you'll be getting the employee discount.
We are proud to name the 16-year-old 111-miler per hour Beaver Dam taco runner as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week.

The London Daily Mirror reports that the late Amy Winehouse (pop star, heavy drinker, drug queen) was in the process of trying to adopt a 10-year-old girl from the island of St. Lucia. That sounds to us like a pretty bad idea!

Having Amy Winehouse as your parent would be like having Billy Joel as your chauffer.

It would be like having Ozzy Osbourne as your translator.

Like having Courtney Love as your pharmacist.

Like having Lady Gaga as your personal fashion designer.

Like having Jay Cutler as your wedding planner.

Like having Larry King as your marriage counselor.

Like having Michell Bachmann as your history teacher.

Like having Barack Obama as your credit counselor.

Like having Governor Walker as your union's local chairman.

Like having Dee Snider of Twisted Sister as your makeup technician.

In fact, having Amy Winehouse as a parent would be like having Rick McNeal
as your sex ed instructor.

With Paul McCartney's big shows tonight and tomorrow night at Wrigley Field, it seems like a good time to take a look at Graphjam.com's funny Beatles graphs.

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...20-year-old Jordan Cardella of South Milwaukee and his two buddies Anthony Woodall and Michael Wezyk. Cardella convinced his friends to shoot him with a rifle so that his ex-girlfriend would feel sorry for him and take him back. Even the prosecutor called this "the most phenomenally stupid case I've ever seen". And Wezyk's attorney agreed, saying he was "sorry to bring something so stupid into (the judges) courtroom".

So,

For getting his buddy to shoot a hole in his arm...which should go perfectly with the hole he must have in his head.

For coming up with a plan so dumb, Jordan, Michael and Anthony should change their names to Moe, Larry and Curly.

And for proving that a shot in the arm with a syringe may treat a virus but a shot in the arm with a rifle is no cure for a broken heart.

We are proud to name Jordan Cardella, Michael Wezyk and Anthony Woodall of South Milwaukee as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

Some week's we have more than one really good Weenie of the Week Candidate (and this week we had several). Occasionally, we name a runner up, someone not quite a big enough weenie to get the full title. They're a smaller weenie. They're our Rick and Len Show COCKTAIL FRANK!

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Cocktail Frank...Sheboygan Mayor Bob Ryan who reportedly fell off the wagon HARD earlier this month, getting drunk at two bars during an alleged weekend bender in Elkhart Lake, getting into what police are calling a "scuffle" with another patron and hassling women, two of whom allegedly flashed the mayor, but not until after he was passed out on the bar.

So,

For not realizing that Elkhart Lake bars are no place to mix politics and alcohol. That what the Kennedy Compound is for.


For falling off the wagon so many times, it's amazing he doesn't have wheel track marks across his chest.

And for not understanding that as a politician, he's supposed to be passing out favors not passing out on the bar.

We are proud to name Sheboygan Mayor Bob Ryan as this week's Rick and Len Show…COCKTAIL FRANK!

Dallas police busted this guy this week for allegedly running a sex club that he claims is a church. The "church" reportedly had porn playing on big screen televisions, topless dancers, and condom-stocked VIP rooms with beds. Here are the ways to differentiate between a sex club and a real church.

If a lot of people seem to be on their knees but none of them are actually praying...it might not be a real church.

If there are no hymns playing despite the presence of many available organs...it might not be a real church.

If the only time someone calls out the name of god, it's while they're having an orgasm...it might not be a real church.

If that wasn't holy water you just got sprayed with...it might not be a real church.

If "the host" you’re expected to put in your mouth isn't a communion wafer but rather, the guy running the party...it might not be a real church.

If the priest isn't the only one getting some action...it might not be a real church.

If you see a woman with beads that are not a rosary because nobody in their right mind would put a rosary where she just had those beads...it might not be a real church.

If there are plenty of people getting nailed but none of them to a cross...it's definitely NOT a real church!

A guy in Sweden is receiving support from the Swedish government for having a psychological because he suffers from an addiction to Heavy Metal. Here's some of the signs you too may have a heavy metal addiction.

If you spend so much time going to concerts you hardly ever see your daughters Lars, Slash and Yngwie...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you were almost late for your own wedding because you couldn’t decide which black t-shirt to wear...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you've ever been injured moshing at a baptism...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you flash your metal horns at a concert so often, you end up wiggling your fingers more than a woman having sex with Rosie O'Donnell...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

OTHER THINGS APPLETON POLICE COULD BE DOING INSTEAD OF SHUTTING DOWN LITTLE GIRLS' LEMONADE STANDS. (Like they did this weekend!)

10. Bust kids who draw chalk hopscotch grids on sidewalk for illegal graffiti.

9. Keep an eye out for children singing, humming or whistling, making sure they’ve paid proper licensing fees for their performance of any copyrighted material.

8. Impose restraining order on children playing tag requiring them to stay at least 500 feet from kid who is "it".

7. Cite kids who don't wash hands immediately after picking their noses with municipal health code violations.

6. Bring assault with a deadly weapon charges against any children caught in the act of playing dodge ball.

5. Arrest kids playing cops and robbers for impersonating a police officer.

4. Call FBI to report four kids playing marbles for conspiracy to gamble.

3. Be on the look out for children who’ve violated city recycling statutes by using wastepaper to make airplanes.

2. Issue citations for practicing medicine without a license to any children found playing "doctor".

1. Charge children who step on cracks with assault for breaking their mothers' backs.