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may 29th


Wisconsin celebrates a birthday today. Our state is officially 167 years old having been admited to the union on May 29, 1848. Here are some...

SIGNS WISCONSIN IS GETTING OLD 

10. Community once known as Dar-BOY now known as Dar-CODGER.

9. What was once a Manito-woc has slowed to, at best, a Manito-waddle.

8. Since menopause, has had to rename city "no longer producing Eggs Harbor".

7. It has a harder time controlling it's bowels apparently due to its Grand Chute keeps getting bigger.

6. Despite its persistence that "it's not a Tomah"... it is a Tomah.

5. Boulder Junction is now best known as a description of the point where the state's kidney stones enter it's urethra.

4. Can no longer remember the answer to the question Wey-auwega?

3. Realizing that it's not getting any younger, Dykesville no longer claims it was just a phase that went through in college and has finally come out and admitted a lifelong attraction to Bailey and her harbor.

2. Sherwood now only sure with help from Viagra.

1. AL now has to get up 10 times night to GO-MA.

(Boy, what that stupid!)
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:37 am Comment On This Post

may 29th
                                 

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…the unidentified man who was arrested after reportedly pulling a handgun and brass knuckles on another man while on the Wiouwash Trail in Hortonville Saturday in a dispute over…a dog leash. The man with the gun had already fled when deputies arrived but they were able to find and arrest him.

So,

For behavior that makes you wonder what end of the leash the man belongs on.

For reportedly pulling a gun at the slightest provocation which leads one to believe he must have a trigger finger that’s itchier than the balls of a guy after he bangs a Kardashian.

And for thinking he could get away because he apparently didn't realize that whenever you depart the Wiouwash...you are always leaving a trail. (rim shot)

We are proud to name the unidentified man who was arrested      after allegedly pulling brass knuckles and a handgun on another man while on the Wiouwash Trail in a dispute over…a dog leash as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:21 am Comment On This Post

may 28th


WHERE THE HELL DID MAY GO?

Am I the only one for whom May just seemed to fly by? It seems like it was just May 4th and WOOOOOSH, here it is, the ass end of the month. What the hell did I do all month?

Spent most of one day bitching about how tedious the choreography was on Dancing With the Stars until I realized I had been watching the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.

Spent 5 days trapped in Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt’s thick, overgrown eyebrows and another two days lost in his dreamy eyes.  

Spent two days just shaking my head after Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee choose the unusual campaign strategy of courting the admitted child molester vote.  

Spent one day getting an invasive internal ultrasound because Governor Walker told me it’s a “cool thing” to do.

Spent most of a weekend actively NOT caring about the birth of England’s latest mewling royal, inbred crotch-fruit.

Spent three days bird watching: one day at Mosquito Hill Nature preserve to watching birds nesting, one day at the Oconto Marsh watching birds mate and one day at the Green Bay City Council Chamber watching birds being flipped at constituents by alderman Guy Zima.

Sent most of 10 days just deleting LinkedIn invites.

Spent 4 days trying to figure out who to support for president  before deciding I'll vote for a New England Patriots football because unlike all the announced candidates, at least it's not FULL of hot air.    -Rick-
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:21 am Comment On This Post

may 27th

The Associated Press is reporting that many porn stars don't like California's proposed regulations. Sex performers would even be required to wear protective eye gear in some situations. The porn stars say if the new rules go in effect their adult videos will look like medical shows. Here are some more safety guidelines for porn.


NEW PORN INDUSTRY SAFETY RULES

10. Actresses must lift with their legs not their back when handling Ron Jeremy’s penis.

9. Make sure to wash your hands before sticking a finger in somebody's butt.

8. Performers must at all times wear skid-resistant work boots to avoid slipping in puddles of fluids.

7. Spilled fluids should be cleaned up immediately from floors, work surfaces...faces, backs and stomachs.  

6. A representative from the ASPCA must be on hand at all times to assure no beavers are harmed in the making of this film.

5. Actresses without shaved hoohas must always wear hairnets.

4. Use barricade tape or orange cones to clearly indicate open holes.

3. Horseplay on the job is forbidden. Donkeys, on the other hand, are okay but only south of the border.

2. Keep all exits, entrances and passageways free of debris.

1. All male performers must have label on their underwear that reads, “may contain choking hazard”.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:28 am Comment On This Post

may 27th


A new poll of favorite and least favorite "smells" in Britain is topped by fresh baked bread and garbage bins, respectively. Check out the full list? What is your favorite and least favorite smells?
posted by: Rick and Len at 5:16 am Comment On This Post

may 26th


May 15th City of Germantown
An intoxicated man was asked to leave an elementary school after he made inappropriate comments to a teacher during an evening event. Police were told that the man made other parents feel uncomfortable when he told a female teacher that he would eat pie filling off her face.

May 23rd Town of Dale
The Outagamie County Sheriff’s Department responded to a situation on the Wiouwash Trail. Deputies arrested a man who pulled a handgun and brass knuckles in a dispute over a dog leash.

May 16th City of Waukesha
A woman reported at that a teenage neighbor continues to strike the side of her home when playing basketball in his driveway. She said she has tried speaking with the boy, but he told her that "it's just gravity" and to "let it go." When confronted by police, the boy didn't believe he was in the wrong and also told officers if they gave him a ticket he would write a three-page scientific letter to the judge explaining why it was "gravity's fault" and not his. Police strongly advised the teen to just move his basketball hoop.

May 15th Village of Pewaukee
A woman summoned police, telling a dispatcher that her son was being "held at bay" in the driveway of her home by four young males armed with Nerf guns. The caller also reported that the juveniles were currently in the act of wrapping her car with Saran Wrap. Officers responding to the report of the Nerf gun attack told the boys to stop their activities and leave the area. It was unclear if police confiscated the Nerf guns or the Saran Wrap.

May 15th City of Waukesha
Police were called after a female employee from a lawn service company going door to door reported a male at a residence started to rub on her shoulder and asked her if she wanted to see his two maple trees. The woman told police she felt "creeped out". Officers spoke to the man who said he had no intention to cause her any discomfort and that it was simply his way of telling the woman he wasn't interested in her product.

May 14th City of Waukesha
A woman called police because she said a bar near her apartment was is sending out "vibes," making people sick and brainwashing her family. Police checked and reassured the woman that there were no "vibes" coming through the house.

May 20th Village of Grand Rapids
A woman called police and reported a 10-year-old boy came to her door asking if she needed help with yard work. The woman told police that when she said "no," the boy got on his bicycle and left without stopping at any other homes, which she thought seemed suspicious.

May 18th City of Waukesha
Police were called to break up a physical altercation between an 18-year-old man and his mother. The altercation began when the mother came home and saw the son had not done the dishes.

May 13th City of Germantown

A patrol officer, with assistance from a Wisconsin State trooper, safely escorted several ducks across a busy four lane highway... where they then immediately fell into the sewer. The patrol officer, with the assistance of the Wisconsin State trooper, then successfully rescued the ducks from the sewer.

May 17th City of Waukesha
Police responded to Wendy's after a caller said they saw a man with a gun in the drive-thru. Police found the man, and identified the gun as…an e-cigarette.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:20 am Comment On This Post

may 22nd
On Wednesday I attended our parent company's annual event which honors those who have been with the company for at least 25 years. For me, it's been 26 years even though I started here at Woodward Radio more than 30 years ago (there were a few years of sabbatical while I figured out that this is the best company to work for and came back).
The dinner is great and they give away some cash prizes. A half-dozen people win $50, someone gets $500 and one lucky son fo a gun takes home $4000. No cash for me but the steak and chicken were good and the Jameson on the rock...not rocks, just one rock is how I like it...was nice.
The name of the event is The Quarter Century Club Gala but the quarter century mark is the  minimum and then you get a lifetime membership. You still get invited even after you've retired. That means there are some seriously old people in attendance. It seems like it's me, a handful of other "new" members and a whole lot of blue-haired ladies and stooped-over men. Then it hits me...I am one of them! OMG!
Look, I'm not ancient (just 54) and I'm not planning to retire anytime soon, but it has to mean something when you start measuring things by the QUARTER CENTURY! Fortunately I work in rock radio and, since rock and roll will never die, I'll never really get old, right? Long Live Rock.
-Len Nelson
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:55 am Comment On This Post

may 22nd


This week, the Wausau man accused of performing sex acts with a horse back in December was convicted on a related drug charge and sentenced to two years of probation.

Jared Kreft pleaded guilty to possession of marijuana, and as part of a plea agreement, they dismissed charges of bestiality, possession of drug paraphernalia, bail jumping and disorderly conduct. Apparently, Marathon County considers possession of weed as far more serious than a little interspecies carnality.

As you may recall,  at the time of his arrest, Kreft was wearing a face mask (so the horse couldn’t I.D. him?) and blue wind pants with holes cut in the groin and buttocks areas for easy access. According to the police report, he admitted that he had gone to the barn and performed oral sex on the horse and tried arousing the horse using his hands.

Before you get any ideas, here are some...


QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU “YOU KNOW” WITH A HORSE

What is the legal age of consent to “you know” with a horse?

Will being known as the guy who “you knowed” with a horse make me more or less dateable in prison?

Since it’s Marathon County, is it considered weird doing “you know” with a horse that’s not even my sister?

Will getting caught doing “you know” with a horse leave a stain on my permanent record and/or my new shirt?

Will doing “you know” with a horse, make my donkey jealous?

Will gently singing the Mr. Ed theme before you “you know”” with a horse get her in the mood?

Does “neigh” mean “neigh” when doing “you know” with a horse?

Will being known as the guy who got caught doing “you know” with a horse make me the logically choice to be a contestant on the  first season of The Bachelor on Animal Planet?

Will giving a horse a “you know” leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth or just yours?
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:39 am Comment On This Post

may 20th
Tonight David Letterman says goodbye and it hurts. As the LA Times put it, "He will leave behind a hole shaped like a life" . His life and mine too. I've been a "super fan" since I first saw him guest hosting for Johnny on the Tonight Show. I watched his short-lived morning show regularly and since December of 1982 (when WLUK finally started carrying it) I've only missed about 10 episodes. Yes, 10 of over 5800!

He literally changed my life. My fascination with his show led me to start submitting items for his recurring segments like Dumb Ads, Small Town News and Dave's Record Collection. Over a period of about a year and a half, they used 10 or 12 of my submissions. The day after each one aired, I would bring in the VHS videos here to the station where I worked as a commercial writer, and would proudly show my co-workers. At that point in my life, I had no thought of doing a radio show. In fact, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. However, my success at having my submissions used on his show lead WAPL management to start thinking about me in a different light. And when they were looking for a host their new radio morning show, my name came up. I never asked for this job, They asked me. And it was an exiting opportunity that I never would have received without Dave.

I don't know what I'd being doing today if it wasn't for him and the strange turn he caused my life to take. However, I'm pretty sure my life would not have been nearly as interesting and fulfilling as it has been doing the WAPL Morning Show. The opportunities this job has presented me with far exceed anything I ever expected for myself. It's odd to think somebody I never met would have had such an affect on my life.

Good luck, Dave! Whatever the next stage of your life may hold, may it bring you as much happiness as you unknowingly brought me. May your life always be "A Late Night World of Love" -Rick-
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:15 pm Comment On This Post

may 20th
We were fortunate to have the Saratoga Springs, NY band Wild Adriatic in the WAPL studio this week. Take a listen here to three awesome songs done live right in front of us!

Wild Adriatic - Cooperstown

Wild Adriatic - Ghosts

Wild Adriatic - The Fool
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:52 am Comment On This Post

may 20th


Vote for bands you would like to see Land the Big Gig and get to play Sumerfest this year by clicking here...http://landthebiggig.com/fans-vote/.

Some of the bands with local connections include Doozy from Kaukauna, Roxx and Dylan Finley from Oshkosh, Startegic and Green Screen Kid from Appleton, and Granite Rose from Eau Claire who are just putting the finish touches on the new album they recorded at Appleton's Rock Garden Studio.

Also on the ballot is our new friends and Mile of Music favorites Wild Adriatic and another MIle favorite singer -songwriter Jordin Baas who you can vote for as both a solo artists and with her band The Quiet Time. While the Quiet Time is listed as being from Milwaukee, their quitarist JR is from Appleton and the son of a longtime friend of mine...so I'd really appreciate if you were to throw them a vote! (Plus, they're good!) -Rick-
posted by: Rick and Len at 5:58 am Comment On This Post

may 19th
Every man comes to a point in his life when he has to admit to himself and the world that he just has too many monkeys. For me, that day is today! I once, many years ago, uttered the words "I like monkeys". Since that time, dear friends have been kind enough to gift me with monkeys and monkey related items every birthday, Christmas, and Arbor Day. Why Arbor Day? Why not!!!

I no longer have room for all my simian friends at home or at work (plus I have a bunch of duplicates) so many of them have to go. So, I thought, why not give away a bunch of monkeys. Hey, why not put them in a cylindrical container and give away a barrel of monkeys. BETTER YET, why not give away a barrel AND monkeys! Thursday morning on the Rick and LEN SHOW DUMB ASS QUESTION...you can win this huge box of monkeys....AND A HALF BARREL OF HOUDINI HONEY WHEAT from STONE ARCH BREWERY!!!!!! Join us at 7:50 Thursday morning for your chance to win!   - Rick-



posted by: Rick and Len at 12:31 pm Comment On This Post

may 19th


The Post Crescent asked readers to suggest ways to improve the Fox Cities. Well, here's some of our suggestions....

Oshkosh…Seek to obtain volume discounts on chemicals for local businesses by promoting cooperation between operators of the illegal meth labs and the illegal ricin labs.  

Little Chute…sell that useless windmill to Kaukauna where they can use it to blow their nasty stank in a direction other than right over Highway 41.

Kaukauna…take lesson from Little Chute and promote tourism by wasting money on a symbol of the city by building a sculpture of a giant clothes pin attached to a giant nose.

Menasha...Discontinue efforts to make people stop dumping soap in the Main Street fountain and start promoting downtown as Mr. Bubble Land.

Neenah…build 50 foot wall to make it more difficult for Menasha people to sneak across the border. (Some contend Menashan labor is contributing to Neenah's unemployment however, others point out that only Menashan's are willing to do the jobs that Neenahns won't do.)

Grand Chute... start advertising it's plentiful supply of motel escorts to let people know that Appleton's downtown hot dog vendor isn't the only person in the Fox Valley you can pay to handle your wiener.

Appleton…after taking a vote on where residents would rather have parking meters located, they could check with Mayor Hannah’s proctologist to see if that’s even physically possible.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:46 am Comment On This Post

may 18th


May 17th Brown County
Officers responded to a report of a large snapping turtle that was lingering on the side of the road and who appeared to be planning to run into traffic.

May 5th City of Waukesha
A caller reported an intoxicated man, who was being loud and obnoxious at Texas Roadhouse, kept giving himself an alcohol Breathalyzer test to see when he can start driving.

May 14th City of Marshfield
A resident called the police to report that their son answered the door and a male asked for the lady of the house and wanted to give her a can of Lysol.

May 12th City of Shawano
A resident called police to report that he was awakened by someone knocking on his door. When the man woke up, he opened his garage door to find a man poised to fight. However, the man had his fists up but just said "Dude, I'm sorry I was going to… Never mind" and then just ran away.

April 30th City of Glendale
A 26-year-old woman was cited for disorderly conduct and battery after she attacked a manager at McDonald’s. The woman, who had been fired earlier for being late for work and drinking coffee while on duty, returned to the restaurant and “swung a fry basket” at the manager.

May 8th City of Whitefish Bay
Police responded to reports of two ducks walking in the road and a possum sitting on a fence for over an hour.

May 3rd Village of Shorewood
Police were called on a report of a severed hand laying on the beach. Police found a plastic hand-shaped Halloween prop.

May 14th City of Brookfield
Officers were called to a residence by a man who reported that his neighbor was stealing wild flowers from his yard. The complainant stated that he allowed the neighbor to take onions from the garden, but NOT flowers. The neighbor was warned and cooperative.

May 4th Village of Jackson
A resident called police to report that someone had used yellow chalk to write on their driveway,  “Hi, I’m Jim. I like to hump dogs”.

April 30th City of Waukesha
A man reported a boy yelled obscenities toward his daughters. Police made contact with the boy and his mother, who said he was just acting out a scene from a movie and did not know the two girls were across the street. The boy felt bad that he scared the young girls and was advised to be more aware of his surroundings when acting out movie scenes.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:42 am Comment On This Post

may 18th
Just saw two kick-ass ladies in their 60s and their fine band at the Heart concert last night at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center. When I got home, the Billboard Music Awards were on TV. They introduce Kanye West, who claims to be a genius, and he proceeds to perform a "song" which is so profanity-laden that at least a third of it is silenced by the network's broadcast delay system.
Tell, me what kind of "genius" gets an audience of millions of people and an opportunity to showcase himself and his music and then does what he did?
Yeezus, dude, for a genius you're pretty damned stupid. Go to a Heart show and see how it's done.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:02 am Comment On This Post

may 15th

GET YOUR INVITE TO SEE WILD ADRIATIC

Check out the latest video from Albany, NY's Wild Adriatic for their song Strange Persuaions. It features film from throughout their 2014 tour. See if you can spot the Appleton locations!

The band is taking up a short term residency here to work on new material and put on an invite-only show Wednesday night. Win your invite from 105-7 WAPL here: http://www.wapl.com/…/Pag…/Wild_Wednesday_with_Wild_Adriatic

posted by: Rick and Len at 11:10 am Comment On This Post

may 15th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…whomever stole the four baby goats and a baby kangaroo (torn right from it's mother's pouch) from the Special Memories Zoo in Greenville.

So,

For committing a crime as hard to understand as a computer customer service operator in Bangladesh.

For stealing an animal that's already jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.

And for committing the worst atrocity involving a joey since NBC tried to do a spin-off of Friends.

We are proud to name whomever joeynapped the baby kangaroo from the Special Memories Zoo in Greenville as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

may 14th


Hands Over the Fox is an event to remember lives lost and help the community move forward after a tragic shooting took the lives of Jonathan & Olivia Stoffel and Adam Bentdahl on the Trestle Trail in Menasha, Wisconsin.

Date:
Sunday, May 17th, 2015

Time:
Program to begin at 7 p.m.
(It is highly suggest you plan to arrive on either side of the bridge trail no later than 6:30 p.m. because of the large expected crowd; shuttles will start at 5 p.m.)

Location:
Trestle Trail Bridge, Menasha, WI

For all the details... including important parking information...  http://handsoverthefox.com/
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:27 pm Comment On This Post

may 14th


Time Magazine has a way for you to find out what your name would be if yyou were born today. WTF? you may be asking. Stop asking. Just click and go with it. We did here at the Alexander and Cole Show.
http://time.com/3856405/baby-name-popularity/#
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:37 am Comment On This Post

may 14th


What do you think? Did Aaron drop an F bomb when he missed the Daily Double? Click here to watch...https://vine.co/v/eKWqYzvbgrO
posted by: Rick and Len at 5:31 am Comment On This Post