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jan 31st 2015

(post crescent photo)

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...whomever was responsible for securing the cover on the grease trap at Denny's in Grand Chute that lead to a 3 year old boy falling about 8 feet into about 4 feet of stinky, oily muck. The cover is supposed to be held on with eight screws and according to the Post Crescent, it had none.


For not realizing that the phrase "shut your filthy trap" doesn't just apply to Tom Brady's potty mouth during big games.

For conducting the worst job of covering something up since the Watergate break in.

For being responsible for a 3-year-old child getting so thoroughly saturated in grease, many Wisconsinites could barely contain their urges deep fry and eat him.

We are proud to name whomever was in charge of securing the cover on the grease trap at Denny’s in Grand Chute that caused a 3-year-old boy to fall in as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 30th 2015


10. Pollution from paper mill smokestacks makes romantic sunsets all the more colorful.

9. For a romantic Saturday night you can always go to the NEW Zoo to watch the monkeys hump.

8. Green Bay girls will let you stick your brat in their buns.

7. Where else but Bay Beach can you give your date a good ride for as little as a quarter.

6. Guys know that taking a date to the Tundra Lodge is guaranteed to make her wet. 

5. Left over grease from Friday fish fries perfect for aromatic hot oil massages.

4. You only have to drive your date 20 miles south anytime you want to kiss her where it stinks.

3. Female ice fishing enthusiasts will sometimes let a special guy do it in her ice hole.  

2. You can take long walks together in the lush, over-grown jungle-like habitat that is Mayor Jim Schmitt's eyebrows.

1. There is nothing more romantic than holding your girlfriend’s hair after a long day of tailgating.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:41 am Comment On This Post

jan 26th 2015
Last week Kristin Cavallari left hubby Jay Cutler alone with the kids for a few days. She Instagramed this text she received from Jay.


10. Hamper full of 4 days of poopie diapers stunk up their house almost as badly as Jay stunk up Solider Field all season.

9. While Jay was throwing the kids in the bathtub, they were intercepted by Sam Shields.

8. Tried giving the one year old a bottle but unlike his father, the kid doesn’t suck.

7. Older boy wanted a bedtime story but, just like opposing defenses, Jay can’t read them.

6. Thought the kids were covered in dark bruises but they had only gotten into daddy’s mascara.

5. Both children have diaper rash making them almost as butt-hurt as their father.

4. Jay didn’t like the idea of changing diapers any more than Packer fans like the idea of the Bears changing starting quarterback.

3. Was unable to put the kids to sleep due to lack of available Bears game film.

2. All that breastfeeding was making his nipples sore.

1. Got so sick and tired of the endless crying….the kids kept begging him to stop.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 22nd 2015


10. Couldn’t properly inflate the balls because they were too busy inflating their ticket prices.

9. Bill Belichick learned the hard way that you can’t inflate footballs with the same pump you use on your penis.

8. They thought the amount of air in the balls was irrelevant…you know, like the Pro Bowl.

7. Coach Belichick doesn’t have time to monitor the inflating of the footballs because he’s too busy studying illegally made video tapes of opponents defensive signals.

6. “They were in the pool! They were in the pool!”

5. Trying to emulate Mike McCarthy who earlier Sunday took the air out an entire state.

4. The Patriots let the Chicago Bears inflate the balls because they thought they really blew but it turns out, as we all know, they actually suck.

3. Can’t remember what happened to their balls after they had a drink with Bill Cosby.

2. Patriot in charge of ball inflation was Aaron Hernandez but he only knows how to pump things full of lead.

1. They have no excuse for why 11 of the 12 balls were under-inflated but will come up with something just as soon as they get done firing the guy who didn’t under-inflate that 12th ball.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

jan 19th 2015

January 2nd Town of Menasha
A 51-year-old man reported that his TV, cellphone and some food were taken from his room after he was arrested on December 27th. The man suspected a roommate was responsible. A check of pawn shops revealed that the TV had been pawned by the roommate. When an officer went to speak with the victim to make arrangements to retrieve his television and the victim answered the door for the officer while smoking marijuana. The victim was cited for possession of marijuana and taken to the Winnebago County Jail for violating the terms of his bond from the previous arrest.

December 20th City of Prairie du Sac
A person house sitting called police and reported the homeowner’s vehicles were missing and have now been returned. After an investigation, police determined that the vehicles were NOT taken. The house sitter had only dreamed it happen.

January 6th City of Waukesha
A woman called police stating she is in the woods in an old town that looks similar to Old World Wisconsin and people are using the same needle to treat each other for anaphylactic shock. After police made contact with the woman at her apartment she said she had a dream and dialed 911. She told police she was quite embarrassed by the incident.

December 15th City of Prairie du Sac
Police responded to an security alarm activation at a fitness center. When police arrived, they found a member had pushed the panic button on purpose just to see what would happen.

January 13th City of Beaver Dam
A man called police to report that someone drove on his lawn in the Avenue and hit his snowman. There appeared to be no damage other than the snowman. The value of the snowman was not available.

December 25th City of Menasha
A male on Third Street reported that he had been beaten. The man refused medical attention and just wanted a police escort to his home. He ultimately jumped out of the ambulance and jogged home.

December 31st City of Neenah
An employee of a car dealership on Green Bay Road called police to report an “odd” man on their lot asking staff members to pronounce strange words.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:21 am Comment On This Post

jan 12th 2015

December 25th City of Neenah
A Byrd Avenue resident reported that a male in an SUV was parked in the bowling alley parking lot staring at the house and making the caller uncomfortable. The man in the SUV told police he was just doing crossword puzzles. Police told the man to take his crossword puzzles and do them somewhere else.

December 24 City of Neenah
A man on Forest Avenue called police to report he was watching as an SUV pulled up to the front of his house and a man out, grabbed the baby Jesus from his front yard and fled in the SUV.

January 4th City of Stevens Point
A man called police to report his son was extremely intoxicated and had a no drink order against him. When police arrived, they gave the son a Breathalyzer test but his blood alcohol level was so high it didn't register. The son was also arrested three weeks ago. At that time his blood alcohol level was .435.

January 9th City of Marshfield
A man called police after he found a 6-foot-tall wooden Easter bunny and large wooden Easter egg in his yard. Responding officers impounded both the egg and the Easter bunny. A neighbor has since come forward and admitted he constructed the bunny and has been moving it from yard to yard, leaving Easter eggs behind, for fun. He said he plans to contact police to see about getting his bunny back. However, he added, "I think he should stay in jail for a couple days to learn a lesson".

December 28th Dane County
A woman called police to report damage to her vehicle. The woman told police that since having her car washed and waxed, a wild turkey keeps pecking at it causing numerous scratches to the body and fender of the vehicle. The woman told police she has tried to get a photo of the turkey in the act but has been unable to do so. However, the woman did point out several piles of turkey poop around her car as evidence. Police suspect the turkey could see his reflection in the shiny clean cars surface, and thought it was another bird. Police suggested the woman put an old mirror near the car to refocus the turkey's attention.

December 24th Dane County
A man reported the theft of his Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini with a cracked screen while attending a Christmas party at a local bar. In the report he filed with police, the man indicates that theft occurred when, "The holiday spirit moved me to sing Karaoke, so I set my phone on the table my co-workers and I were at. My song came on and I started belting out the sweetest tune you ever heard. It moved my co-workers so much that they came to cheer me on leaving our table and my phone up for grabs.

January 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A 29-year-old man called 911 about 6:30 AM and told police that after a late night of drinking he woke up locked in a dark, dank place and didn't know where he was. Police traced the man's cell phone signal to a tavern where the drunken man had been drinking the night before. The extremely intoxicated man had apparently staggered down to the cellar where he passed out and got locked in when bartenders closed up for the night. Officers contacted the tavern's owner, got the key and let out the drunken patron out of the cellar.

December 28th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report someone stole his crutches that he needs to walk. According to the caller, the crutch thief was wearing a Dallas Cowboys jacket.

January 1st Village of Shorewood
Police stopped a 34-year-old driver who they saw weaving in traffic and running a red light. The man told police, “I don’t want to waste your time with tests. I’m drunk!”

December 29th City of Oak Creek
A caller asked police to check on a swan that was in the city pond because she was concerned that the swan could not live long in the cold water. An officer checked the area and discovered it was a fake swan.

January 2nd City of Brookfield
Two juveniles were banned from Brookfield Square Mall after attempting to pull pranks on women in the Boston Store. One suspect would film the women as they entered fitting rooms while another waited in the stall dressed as a clown. The pair of juveniles had previously been involved in a similar incident at JC Penney.

December 25th City of Waukesha
Police were called as several people were spotted trying to break into the backdoor of Denny’s. The suspects were reportedly all dressed like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

December 28th City of Waukesha
A caller reported people in an apartment were fighting and throwing things for the last five hours. Police determined there was no criteria for a domestic disturbance after learning the noise was coming from a woman who said she woke up with an asthma attack and began trashing her apartment and cursing as she looked for her inhaler.

December 29th City of Waukesha
A woman entered the lobby of the Police Department and demanded that her clothes be tested for poison. The front desk clerk told her the police station does not offer such services. The woman then stormed out and left a garbage bag of clothes. The woman returned sometime later to pick up her clothes.

December 29th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a woman was naked in the hallway of a motel yelling at a man to get out. Police advised the woman, who was highly intoxicated, of her behavior and lack of clothing. The woman told police she could not recall why she went into the hallway naked.

January 8th Town of Hubbard
A 65-year-old man called police to report someone is signing him up for online dating sites and he believes it's his ex-wife.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:48 am Comment On This Post

jan 10th 2015

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…45-year-old Robert J. Westman who allegedly got a little too handsy with a woman whom he says he was “dirty dancing” with Wednesday night at Governor Scott Walker’s inaugural ball. According to the woman, Westman was  “creeping” on her and making unwelcome advances. When the woman’s boss intervened  Westman reportedly chose to head-butt him. The woman told police Westman also groped her and touched her improperly and kept trying to impress her by claiming he was friends with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

For head butting the woman which marks the first time in years anyone in Madison has used their head for anything.

For trying to hook up with a woman at Scott Walker's inauguration despite the fact that Walker famously doesn't believe in "unions".

For not understanding that in Madison, the words head and butt are usually only used together when one is up the other.

We are proud to name Robert J. Westman of Onalaska, who got arrested after allegedly getting handsy and head-butty at Governor Walker's Inauguration ball as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 9th 2015

It’s a tale of two cities
One good and one bad
About pride and tradition
The Cowboys don’t have

The good guys are the Packers
They always will prevail.
While the Packers go the distance
The cowboys go to jail

Getting busted by the law
causing big legal flaps
Least their BAIL don't  count
Against the salary caps

Packers beat opponents
Aaron Rodgers throws a bomb.
Tony Romo throws a fit
Dez Bryant beats his mom

Running back Joseph Randall
stealing cologne and underwear
Who has cash for skivvies
When you're a poor Dallas millionaire?

I don't GET taking undies
But he took cologne I think
Cuz he just wanted to smell good for once
But the Cowboys always stink

they're kinda short on defense
At Least that's what I read
Woulda had one more practice player
But Josh Brent killed him dead.

Yet the Cowboys brought Brent back
After crashing his Mercedes Benz
Sure Brent was drivin' drunk
But what's a little vehicular manslaughter between friends?

And there's CJ Spillman
But is it really all his fault
That the special-team player's special talent
Seems to be for sex assault?

He has not been charged with any crime yet
just questioned and released.
But he's fast getting the reputation
As the Bill Cosby of NFCeeees East

And all that bad behavior
Starts right up at the top
Jerry Jones contributes to the fact
A Dallas highlight reel looks like an episode of Cops.

Now the team that's perfect on the road
Meets the team that hasn't lost at home.
Playing at Green Bay's Lambeau Field
Not at Jerry's garish dome.

So somethings got to give
at least that's what I'm told
We'll see how those indoor babies
Can hold up in the cold.

They might be better than we think
On the frozen tundra and the ice
They might be used to chilly temps
Since most have been in the cooler once or twice.

But good will triumph over bad
As it has since days of old.
And the Pack will emerge victorious
And beat the Cowboys cold.

Dem boys will fly home to Texas
With their New Jersey Governor in tow.
There's always next year, Dallas!
At least for those of you who can get out on parole.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:30 am Comment On This Post

jan 5th 2015

February 17th Village of Wittenberg
Sheriff’s deputies responded to a call from a woman on Eland Avenue. The caller told the dispatcher she was trapped in her house because there was a large raccoon frozen to her sidewalk in a puddle of its own urine right at the foot of her stairs. A deputy responded to the home where he used a large bowl of warm water to thaw the puddle of frozen urine freeing the raccoon who then ambled off under his own power.

January 11th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a call from the employee of the Community Library reporting a 51-year-old man was bathing in the restroom. The responding officer spoke to the man who explained he was just cleaning up after pooping his pants.

March 23rd Dane County
Police were called to a 30th birthday party after a the party's organizer allegedly punched the DJ, and destroyed his equipment because she did not like his song selections. The bloodied DJ wasn't sure what he had played to made her so upset. The woman fled the party with an uncut birthday cake before police arrived and remains at large.

April 21st City of Shawano
Police responded to an incident involving two parked cars at Hillcrest School. The wind caught the door of one of the cars blowing it open and dinging the other car. The driver of the dinged door car was reportedly very upset. When police arrived, they issued to citations to both drivers since they were both illegally parked in handicapped spots.

April 29th City of Chilton
A caller reported a "bloody man" was walking around a store on East Chestnut Street. The man told responding officers, "This is what happens when you help your kids".

May 3rd City of Cudahy
A 50-year-old man was arrested for violating terms of his probation by visiting his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. The man said he knew he was violating the probation terms by visiting her, but told police “the woman is crazy and the sex is amazing.”

May 9th City of Greenfield
A 911 caller reported two elderly females were arguing with staff at the American Legion Post after they were allegedly caught cheating at bingo. The women then reportedly went outside and started yelling and banging on the windows. Police were unable to locate the elderly bingo cheaters but confirmed they were last seen traveling eastbound in a silver Ford Expedition.

May 15th City of Waukesha
A woman called police to report she was slapped in the back of the head by a male co-worker. The accused assailant admitted his actions to police but told them he only slapped the coworker in the back of the head because his manager told him if he did so she would give him a dollar.

June 10th City of Waukesha
A woman called police and claimed her boyfriend stole $350 million from her. She also told police he forced a cat to lick him all night long because he is a sex addict.

June 28th City of Appleton
Police arrested a 52-year-old man they believe is responsible for damage and vandalism to numerous air-conditioners in Appleton, Menasha and probably Neenah. The man allegedly spent recent nights riding his bicycle around the area and randomly ripping the control switches out of the air conditioning units. The man reportedly told officers he committed the acts because he just doesn't like air-conditioners.

July 13th City of Franklin
A 33-year-old man called police to report a man called him a "pervert" and pulled a gun on him. The caller himself was arrested after police determined the reason the other man called him a pervert and pulled a gun on him is the man had caught the caller in the act of peeping in his windows.

July 8th City of Oak Creek
A driver flagged down a police officer and reported herself for speeding and not wearing a seatbelt. The woman promised the officer she would not speed anymore and fastened her seatbelt. No citations were issued.

July 24th City of Portage
Police responded to a report of a disturbance at the county fairgrounds where they found two boys in the cattle barn fighting over the placement of a manure pile.

July 10th City of Menasha
Officers received an anonymous complaint about a rummage sale in progress. Officers contacted the resident who said there was no sale in progress and that all items laying in the driveway are just her children's toys.

July 11th Village of Jackson
An officer stopped an SUV for blinding oncoming traffic with its high-beams. The driver, a 35-year-old West Bend woman, was believed to be drinking and admitted she already had a suspended license for two prior OWI convictions. The woman also told police she was hiding a cell phone in her vagina. Jail staff used a metal detector and determined that there was no cell phone in woman's vagina.

July 21st City of Shawano
A caller contacted police to report someone broke into their car and left a pack of beef jerky.

August 24th City of Oak Creek
A jogger flagged down police to report that a dog being walked by its owner just bit him on the scrotum.

August 9th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man who said he was "stuck in his brother's car" and kept honking the horn, while yelling "I just want to get out of the car. I can't get out of the car". Responding officers found the man was just extremely intoxicated and couldn't figure out how to open the door.

July 15th Village of Jackson
A man told police that he saw a woman in a vehicle intentionally try to run over a flock of geese. Using the license plate number, police located the driver. The woman told the officer that she didn’t try to run the geese over but “thought it would be funny to drive at them fast so they would fly away”. None of the geese were injured. According to police, no further action was taken because “there’s no law against being an immature moron.”

August 23rd City of Oak Creek
A resident called police to report receiving a phone call from an unidentified male who told him that he would "gut him and leave him in the woods" if he didn't pay his ex-girlfriend $80 for a cat toy.

August 23rd City of Greenfield
Police received a 911 call from a woman reporting a robbery in progress at Starbucks. The caller stated her 14-year-old daughter went inside and then texted her mom that the business was being held up. A police investigation revealed the girl actually texted her mom, “Hold up at Starbucks,” meaning the line was long and the number of customers inside was holding her up.

August 31st City of Oak Creek
Police responded after a 911 caller reported at least three vehicles were parked near his residence and the occupants were outside, yelling at each other. The responding officer found 15 people in the area, who stated they were just looking for ghosts. They were all told to leave and come back during daytime hours despite their protests that ghosts only come out at night.

August 27th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report finding strands of blonde hair in the back of his pickup truck. The man told police he was unable to tell if the blonde hairs came from a human being or an animal. Police determined the blonde hairs...were actually hay.

August 28th City of Waukesha
A man called police to request an ambulance for a 55-year-old woman. Police learned the woman wanted an ambulance because she was bleeding after popping a pimple on her face.

September 5th Dane County
A man reported to police that while his 2000 Ford Taurus station wagon was parked, someone stole the brand new right front tire from the car and replaced it with an flat balding one. The victim filled out an official police report noting "This hot rod of a car of mine seems to attract petty thuggery, obviously due to envy. I'm sure the perpetrators imagine (rightly so) a balding, middle age potbellied family man proudly cruising the city, his comb-over flowing out the half open window. I can understand their jealousy but can't condone it. I think fair punishment would be for them to one day find themselves balding and middle aged."

September 6th Dane County
A 23-year-old woman was awakened by the sound of her front door crashing in. Unsure what to do during a burglary, the woman grabbed her cell phone, hid in a closet and Googled "What to do during a burglary?". Google advised her to call police so she did.

September 9th City of Waukesha
A caller told police she saw a man carrying a baby in a dog kennel. When police arrived at the scene, they discovered it was a small dog in the kennel, not an ugly, hairy infant.

September 16th Village of Biron
A man called police and reported that he could hear people trying to break into his home. The man called police back three more times before police arrived at his residence to investigate. Responding officers believe that what the man heard was actually several falling pinecones.

September 23rd City of Waukesha
The police and fire departments rescued a man who was stuck inside a trash bin behind Dunkin' Donuts. The man told police his wife left her dentures at Dunkin' Donuts earlier in the day and was looking for them. While standing on a pallet and looking in garbage cans for the missing dentures, the man fell in and was unable to get out.

September 6th City of Neenah
A Congress Street resident called police to report hearing people yelling and screaming. Officers responding to the report found several adults engaged in...a spirited pillow fight.

September 24th Village of Shorewood
The resident called 911 because a nut got stuck in her teeth while she was eating a Hershey bar with almonds. Police instructed the woman to contact a dentist.

September 21st City of Waukesha
A domestic disturbance was reported after the caller thought she heard someone get hit and saw a female outside crying. The female said she wasn't crying and had just gone to the car to think after a verbal argument with her niece over macaroni and cheese.

September 24th City of Franklin
A 42-year-old man arrived at work at Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company and subsequently stripped down to just a necktie and boxer shorts in what was described as a "creative way to get fired".

September 30th City of Waukesha
A woman reported that her apartment had been repeatedly entered by someone over the past year and a half. The woman told police that the person who has been illegally entering her apartment keeps taking her "better quality chicken breasts" and replacing them with "lower quality" chicken breasts.

October 9th City of Waupun
A resident called police and reported that his two dogs were stuck together after mating and asked for officer assistance in getting them apart. Police contacted a local veterinarian who advised them to leave the dogs alone and nature would take its course. Prior to police leaving the residence, the dogs separated.

November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the Waukesha Public Library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.

November 13th City of Neenah
A caller on Bergstrom Road told police that a male who was just terminated had threatened to come back and cut off someone’s hands with a machete. The former employee was mad because someone had taken his soda.

August 14th Town of Emmet
A resident called the sheriff's department to report someone left empty McDonald's bags in his driveway. The area McDonald's was contacted to have them check their surveillance video recordings to see if they could identify a suspect based on the time on the receipt left in one of the bags. Deputies were unable to obtain the security video needed to aid in the investigation at this time.

August 16th Dane County
Police were called to the Henry Villas Zoo after a 24-year-old woman who loves giraffes, climbed over a fence into the giraffe enclosure. Wally, a two-year-old, 12 foot tall giraffe, licked the woman's cheek before turning around and kicking her in the face. The woman was not seriously injured. It is unclear if the kick to the face dampened the woman's love of the tall mammals.

July 12th Dane County
A 26-year-old woman with a box full of guinea pigs walked into Pet World and tried to put her guinea pigs in with the store guinea pigs. When the store manager told her she couldn't do that, the woman became angry and told him it was not his store but rather it "belongs to the animals". When police arrived, they tried to coax the woman out of the store. However, the woman yelled "I am sorry, my babies" and hurled the box of guinea pigs at officers. Police arrested the woman. The box of guinea pigs were unharmed.

November 5th City of Portage
Police responded to a request for an officer at a home on River Street about 2 AM. When the officer arrived a woman asked him to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The officer woke another family member to handle the issue.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:52 am Comment On This Post