THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH THE TWO HOOKERS YOU HIRED THE MORNING AFTER THE SUPER BOWL WHEN YOU WORK FOR THE NFL NETWORK
10. Was having a Viagra with my Rice Krispies really my best breakfast option?
9. When I get my ass fired for this, how much will the NFL Network's rating go up?
8. How much of a pay cut will I have to take going from NFL analyst to working part time at Foot Locker?
7. If I get arrested, lose my job and become a national laughing stock, will it be any more embarrassing that the season I spent on Dancing With The Stars?
6. Considering that I just filed for bankruptcy, wouldn't it be more cost effective to only hire one hooker to fight with?
5. Who would make a better cellmate: Aaron Hernandez or Darren Sharper?
4. Should I just punch the hookers or blindside them like I did Chad Clifton?
3. If I really want to hang out with a couple disreputable whores, shouldn't I just get in the booth at Fox with Buck and Aikman?
2. If instead of getting in a fight with hookers, I just kill a dude like ESPN's Ray Lewis, will I get to keep my job?
1. As far as making bad decisions go, how will this compare with Pete Carroll’s choice to pass instead of run on the one yard line?