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nov 24th 2014


As wide open as a Kardashian sister’s legs on NBA All Star Weekend.

As wide open as a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black at a Tommy Thompson birthday party.

As wide open as a 24-hour gun store in Ferguson, Missouri. 

As wide open as the box of Tampon's in Jay Cutler's locker.

As wide open as Mary Burke’s mouth while trying to define plagiarism.

As wide opened as Charlie Sheen’s wallet at a 2-for-1 hooker sale.  

As wide open as Nancy Grace’s yapping maw…well, just about any time.

As wide open as the can of Whoop Ass the Packers opened on the Bears and Eagles. 

As wide open as Bill Cosby’s fly in a room full of young women.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:46 am Comment On This Post

nov 17th 2014

November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the public library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.

October 30th Village of Oregon
A 17-year-old girl was charged with disorderly conduct after an 18-year-old coworker reported the girl took a picture of her while she was working and posted it on Snapchat with a caption that read "chlamydia infested whore".

November 12th Dane County
Police responded to a report of a female deer with a broken leg laying on the side of the road and two bucks attempting to have sex with her. When officers arrived and sounded their siren, they spooked the smaller of the two bucks and he ran off but the larger, ten pointer was unswayed. According to the police report, the officer, fearing the buck could soon end up in traffic, and knowing the doe must be put out of her misery, decided it was time to go "mano a mano," or in this case "mano a bucko."  As he recounted the tenseness of the moment, the officer said it felt a little like an old western: the sheriff and the outlaw staring each other down. The buck stomped. The officer stomped. The officer raised his arms to simulate a big rack, and he charged, yelling at the buck. The buck stood his ground, steam now coming from his nostrils. About this time, a second officer showed up, and the first instructed the second to do an end around and come at the buck from a different direction, "hooting and hollering". The second officer obliged, and the two officer's combined ruckus did the trick. The buck ran off, and the first officer humanely dispatched the doe. After the doe was dead, the large buck returned and again tried to have sex with her and again had to be scared back into the woods with more hooting and hollering.

November 11th Shawano county
A caller reported hearing what sounded like somebody kicking or stomping on the ground. They requested an officer drive-by with their window rolled it down to see if they heard the same thing.

November 9th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report someone had stolen their pizza cutter.

November 4th City of Waukesha
An intoxicated man, who claimed he is from Gotham, called police saying he was assaulted at a bowling alley. The responding officer found that the assault consisted of another patron throwing a bar coaster at the caller, resulting in no injuries.

November 3rd City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of two intoxicated people harassing and swearing at the bartender and manager at Applebee's because they weren't allowed to order food off the children's menu.

November 9th Dane County
Staff members from a downtown bar were able to corral a drunken man who was wielding a fire extinguisher. Witnesses told police he had used the fire extinguisher  to break a window at the bar. When arrested, the man was reportedly yelling and screaming unintelligible things and then in the back of a squad car, the man loudly proclaimed to be "Spartacus."

November 7th City of Greenfield
A resident reported a neighbor was outside banging on pots and pans for about an hour. Police made contact with the woman, who stated she was upset because she believed her neighbors had stolen her pots and pans.

November 3rd City of Mequon
Police were called to a business where an employee, unhappy about being fired, responded by ripping a cabinet off-the-wall, throwing things around the office, and going outside and urinating on the side of the building.

September 13th City of Verona
Police responded to an emergency call to aid a 13-year-old stuck in a baby swing.

November 15th City of Madison
Police responded to a report of an injured pedestrian. When they arrived on the scene, they found a 22-year-old Nebraska man suffering from facial injuries. According to witnesses, the man intentionally ran into traffic in an attempt to jump over a moving taxi cab and failed in his attempt, sustaining the facial injuries in the process. After police cited him for "Sudden Pedestrian Movement", the man gave the officers an expletive laden statement in which he said he "hopes the Huskers defeat the Badgers" and that he promises to "never try and jump over a moving car again".
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:18 am Comment On This Post

nov 14th 2014

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week….41-year-old  Shawn Ellis and 28-year old Jennie Hetchler of Berlin who were arrested Wednesday night after one of them apparently posted items stolen from a neighbor’s home for sale on Craig’s List. When police arrived at their home with a search warrant they were surprised to reportedly find not just stolen property but also an enormous meth lab in their garage. Or should I say, an enormous meth lab in the garage AND their 3 young children...ages 9, 3, and 2 in the home. What's more, according to police, the couple almost blew up the garage on at least three occasions.


For doing everything to attract police attention to their meth operation short of posting a "free donuts here" sign.

For going from Craig's List to the most wanted list.

For advertising stolen goods at the place they're manufacturing drugs which is nothing if not a classic “meth-take” (sorry).

And for having a residence full of kids and meth....sort of like the big Breaking Bad/Full House crossover episode nobody was asking for.

We are proud to name Shawn Ellis and Jennie Hetchler of Berlin as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:16 am Comment On This Post

nov 14th 2014

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week… Nicholas Heyrman, the 33-year-old Green Bay man who allegedly decided to defend his property when he heard there was an aggressive dog in his neighborhood by firing eight shots at it with his AR-15 assault rifle from 32 feet away, missing it each time but hitting a Jeep and a neighbor’s home.


For reportedly firing his weapon eight times in the city which he shouldn’t have done because there were no barns around for him to not be able to hit the broadside of.

For allegedly being responsible for more errant discharges than a premature porn actor.

For reportedly firing shots to “defend his property” from a possibly over aggressive dog begging the question who was going to defend his property from its overly aggressive owner.

And for having such bad aim, he couldn’t win a pissing contest with Stevie Wonder.

We are proud to name Nicholas Heyrman of Green Bay as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:45 am Comment On This Post

nov 11th 2014


They could have bought a $30,000 state-of-the-art cross-cut industrial paper shredder and dumped the remaining 53 million 970 thousand inside.

They could have used it as kindling to torch Soldier Field.

They could have bought the Soo-Line and run Cutler and coach Marc Trestman both out of town on rail.

They could have gotten it all in $20 bills and lined them all end-to-end to demonstrate the number of yards Aaron Rodgers has passed against the Bears during his career.

They could have paid Cutler $1 for every grain of sand in his vajayjay.  

They could have purchased 270,000 shares of Packer stock and become owners of a real football team.

They could have purchased a half million doors and told Jay to not let ANY of them hit his ass on the way out.

They could have taken the money to Vegas and put it all on the Packers and won enough cash to build an entire army of sulky ball-fumbling, interception-throwing Cutler-Bots.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:14 am Comment On This Post

nov 10th 2014


The team receives a royalty payment from a leading manufacturer of sealants every time an announcer uses the term “shellacking”.

The Bears humanely reduced wear and tear on referees’ rotator cuffs through not forcing them to raise their arms above their heads in the first half by not scoring any of those pesky touchdowns.

The cost of producing 2014 Chicago Bear highlight film was significantly reduced by not having to include any footage from last night’s game.

Lack of energy expended by offense, defense and special teams means all will be well rested for their game next week against the Vikings.

Their winning percentage is now at :333…which is still 18 more than the number of yards Aaron Rodgers had passing in the first half.

Probably saved some lives by turning in a performance that didn’t cause any alcohol-fueled post game celebrating by their fans before getting in their cars and driving back to FIB-land.

Their backup QB had a quarterback rating a whole four and a half points higher than our backup QB’s quarterback rating.

There’s always a chance the world might end before 2020 and they won’t have to watch Cutler get his ass kicked by the Packers another 12 times before his seven year guaranteed $54 contract expires.

Even women not having sex last night felt the earth move if they lived within a 10 miles radius of St. Adelbert Cemetery in Niles, Illinois thanks to George Halas turning over in his grave.

After 93 years, Bears and Packers fans were finally able to find common ground as they can both wholeheartedly agree that…the Bears still suck.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:30 am Comment On This Post

nov 7th 2014

We are proud to name the guy who stole an iPod, together with several other items, from a car in the Town of Vinland in Winnebago County and appears to have used it to take a selfie only to have the photo upload to the Cloud where the iPod’s owner was able to view the picture of the suspected thief on another device. Police say they have now identified the suspect and are looking to talk to him.


For evidently behaving unashamedly when he should have been a little more selfie-conscious.

For potentially getting in the most trouble for a selfie since Pee Wee Herman.

And for apparently not realizing that a picture is worth not only a thousand words but also 18 months to 12 years and a fine of up to $5,000.

We are proud to name the guy who stole the iPod from a car in the Town of Vineland and then apparently used it to take a selfie that could lead to his arrest as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:49 am Comment On This Post

nov 3rd 2014


10. Smurf poop.

9.  Used condoms from a responsible, safe sex practicing Ebola monkey. 

8. My extensive collection of celebrity pubic wigs.

7. Several pounds of sand from a certain Chicago quarterback’s hidey hole.

6. The pole from the recently closed Naughty Girls strip club.

5. Dom Capers’ defensive plan from the New Orleans game.

4. A selection of naked Joe Buck selfies.

3. The baby batter stained desktop of former corrupt Winnebago County District Attorney Joe Paulus.

2. A vial of the violent, crazy juice Jeff Gordon was drinking at the Texas Motor Speedway.

1. Goopy, viscous gunk from Governor Walker’s wonky eye.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:30 am Comment On This Post