All Access Club
All Access Club
Sponsored By Planet Fitness
Request A Song
Request A Song
Rock
Lines
Rock Lines
Slide Up
Rick and Len Blog RSS Feed
Interactive » Blogs
oct 4th 2010
The Peanuts comic strip turned 60 on Saturday. Here are some of the....

SIGNS THE PEANUTS GANG ARE GETTING OLD

10. Linus has replaced security blanket with a bitchin' Corvette.

9. Marcie living alone with 50 cats ever since Peppermint Patty moved to Hollywood and changed her name to Rosie O’Donnell.

8. The Great Pumpkin is roughly the same size as Linus' enlarged prostate.

7. Object of Charlie Brown's unrequited affection now the "Little Gray Headed Girl".

6. After contracting a case of rabies, Snoopy had to be put down.

5. That one hair on Charlie's head. He’s started combing it over.

4. As the result of a case of diverticulitis, the Kite Eating Tree now on a strict diet of only high fiber kites.

3. Forget tinkling on the piano. Schroeder needs to take Flovent just to tinkle with his organ.

2. Sign on Lucy's psychiatry stand now reads "The Doctor is...Dead".

1. Charlie Brown's balls hang so low, he wishes Lucy would yank them out of the way before he kicks them.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 4th 2010
September 12th Calumet County
Police were called to a County Trunk KK location where a subject stole a dice cup and dice from a bar. When confronted, the suspect proceeded to spit on the TVs and camera in the bar. He eventually brought the dice box back and cleaned the TV screens.

September 26th City of Oak Creek
A 53-year-old was cited for trespassing after he was found, with his grandson, taping quarters to the railroad tracks so that a train would run them over.

September 14th City of Brillion
Assistance from police was requested from a caller on Roselawn Drive who told officers that someone was stealing his pigeons.

September 28th City of Shawano
The owner of Martin's Cleaners called police to report that a man had been living in his Laundromat and the man has now locked himself in the bathroom and will not leave.

September 11th City of Chilton
Police responded to a report from Vogt Lane of an elderly neighbor man standing naked in his window.

September 12th Town of Menasha
An East Shady Lane resident reported that her garbage can was taken by a man in a truck with a loud exhaust. A passenger had grabbed the garbage can and was dragging it alongside the vehicle as they drove. The garbage can was banging against the truck and they let go of it farther down the street. A patrol lieutenant located the vehicle a short time later and, after speaking with the occupants, found that they were just "messing around."

September 13th Calumet County
A caller told police that first he had gumballs taken, then money from the gumball machine was missing, now his wallet.

September 10th City of Kiel
Reckless driving was reported near the intersection of Highway 57 and Cemetery Road. A tan Intrepid was all over the road. Police contacted the driver who stated that he was not feeling well and threw up in his car which could explain the poor driving.

September 15th City of Kaukauna
A North Harwood road man called police because he believed that his neighbor may have poisoned his squash plant.

September 24th Village of Omro
Police conducted a welfare check at a South Webster Avenue residence when a neighbor reported yelling and screaming in their apartment. Officers responding to the call found...people playing board games.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 1st 2010
Celebrate every Green Bay fan's favorite "Clay Maker" with these cools shirts! You'll have chances to win your own all next week on the Rick and Len Show.

Pick one up for yourself at the Scheel's Sporting Goods in the Fox River Mall or at WI Sports Novelties in Bay Park Square. You can also order on-line at www.theclaymaker.com.

Also available in pink.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 1st 2010
Comic Brian Regan is bringing is unique brand of funny to the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center October 10th!

Tune into the Rick and Len Show all next week for your chances to win tickets!!!!!

Or don't take your chances, click here to buy your tickets now!

And make sure you watch the video below. It may help you win the tickets on Monday!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBko_3wT44Q
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 1st 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...District Attorney John Henkelmann of Wood County who was caught on security camera watching porn on a computer in the business room of the Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake and engaging in what an employee called "lewd" and illegal behavior. All during a conference for prosecutors sponsored by the Wisconsin Department of Justice.

So,

For giving the Wisconsin Department of Justice such a black eye Ken Kratz will probably want to date it.

For not realizing that he was staying at the Osthoff Resort not the Wackoff Resort.

And for looking at internet porn in a public place while engaging in lewd and illegal behavior. And while reports don't say what the behavior was, since it was during a conference for prosecutors, you gotta wonder if he was interrogating the bald headed witness, exercising the penal code to it's natural conclusion, tampering with his own hung jury or discharging the one eyed suspect.

We are proud to name Wood County D.A. John Henkelmann as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 30th 2010
Tom Simmons joins Rick and Len Friday morn at 8. See Tom tonight, WAPL night, at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton and get 2 for 1 admission. Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE (5653).

That's also the number to call to see Tom headlining the shows Friday at 10:15 and Saturday at 8 and 10:15.

Doug Stanhope will headline the a very special 7:30 show on Friday (with Tom as the feature act!) Get your tickets for this show only by clicking brownpapertickets.com.

THE STANHOPE SHOW IS VERY FUNNY BUT NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!

Check out Tom Simmons in action below...

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/RoadsideCrosses
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 29th 2010
lol! Love this. thanks for the laughs, as always, guys!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 29th 2010
After considerable prodding, Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz finally says he's going to resign. What's more, he may lose his license to practice law. Oh, what will he do? Here's some of our suggestions.

NEW JOBS FOR KEN KRATZ

10. Dunk tank clown at Calumet County Fair.

9. Mascot for Pabst Blue Ribbon since like a blue ribbon, Kratz, too is a prize.

8. Manager of the Thumb Fun Amusement Park in Door County since who knows more about fun with thumbs than a guy who texts as much as he does.

7. Facial follicle farmer who grows mustaches for gay porn stars who can't grow gay enough mustaches of their own.

6. Male prostitute satisfying sad, lonely females in the walrus enclosure at Sea World.

5. Drill site for British Petroleum since that bastard is even oiler than the gulf.

4. Script writer for a new Addams Family movie since a person who thinks taking a date to an autopsy should be able to come up with more scenarios that are equally creepy, kooky and all together ookie.

3. Demonstration model for equestrian proctology students who need to learn about horse's asses.

2. Something that requires no talent, skill or ability that can be performed by a useless jerk with no moral compass...but screw him, if he thinks we're giving up these jobs.

1. Poison Center volunteer where he can hit on women who've ingested toxins to induce vomiting.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 29th 2010
Comic Doug Stanhope will be appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton for one night, one show only this Friday night at 7:30. See the former Man Show host (and Rick and Len Show FAVORITE!) in all his depraved glory!

Tickets are limited and can ONLY be purchased on-line at
brownpapertickets.com


NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!

Keep listening to the Rick and Len Show this week for a chance to win an autographed copy of Doug's latest CD From Across the Street.

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/Doug_Stanhope_Carded_at_52
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 27th 2010
September 21st City of Oshkosh
Police were called to a West 10th Avenue location to get a 9-year-old boy with a machete out of a tree. The boy, who had had an argument with his grandparents, took a machete and climbed the garage roof. When officers arrived, they tried to get the boy to come down, but he jumped off the roof, ran down the street and climbed a tree on West 11th Avenue. Officers knocked the machete out of the tree before climbing the tree and talking the boy into coming down.

September 3rd City of Menasha
An officer observed a 3-year-old boy walking alone down State Highway 47 carrying a bottle...and a dinner roll.

September 23rd Village of Tigerton
A Shawano County Sheriff's Deputy reported that they chased a donkey out of the cemetery.

September 21st City of Shawano
Police responded to a report from South Sawyer Street of a little girl poking a dog with a stick.

September 23rd City of Fond du Lac
Police responded to a call from a 50-year-old woman
at the Holiday Inn. The woman told police that a man who answered her Craig's List ad titled "Busty Red Head" had agreed to pay her $200 plus $50 for gas to accompany him to a retirement party. After the two went to the Holiday Inn to have sex, the man admitted he didn't have the money to pay the woman and locked her out of the room and kept her clothes. Police arrested the woman and charged her with prostitution. The man remains at large.

September 12th City of Wauwatosa
Dispatchers received a call reporting a reckless driver on North Mayfair Road. The driver nearly struck another car, was swerving between lanes and failed to use his turn signal. According to police, the driver had packages of salami and cheese and a loaf of bread on the passenger seat and was driving while making a sandwich.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 27th 2010
This guy in front of the WAPL stage during Vic Ferrari!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc5h5szkJZg
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 24th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...for the second consecutive week (a feat unprecedented in Weenie of the Week history)...Calumet County D.A. Ken "The Prize" Kratz. Of course, Ken earned the distinction last week for repeatedly sexting a domestic abuse victim whose assailant he was supposed to be prosecuting.

However, this week we learned that "The Prize" allegedly shared confidential information about a police investigation into the whereabouts of a missing woman with a date he met on Match.com. After the miss...to watch the autopsy of the of the deceased woman but only if the date would wear a skirt and heels and agree to be his girlfriend.

So,

For apparently getting his dating advice from episodes of The Addams Family.

For being creepier than Dollar Store underwear.

For allegedly wanting to take a date to the morgue which is ironic since most women wouldn't be caught dead on a date with Ken Kratz.

And for finding a way to make himself even creepier which is comparable to water finding a way to make itself wetter, Jeff Foxworthy finding a way to make his neck redder or Sheboygan finding a way to make itself even weirder.

We are proud to name Calumet County D.A. Ken "The Prize" Kratz, for the second week in a row...as our Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

(Side note: I read Stephen King's book The Shining about a billion years ago. I remember that near the beginning of the book, the main character Jack Torrence is applying for the job as off-season care taker for the big, spooky Overlook Hotel. As the manager is interviewing him, Jack keeps looking at him and keeps thinking the same words over and over. "Officious prick!" That's the same reaction I have to the picture of Kratz on the above left--Rick)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
Maybe Obama will take them out for a beer and make it all better.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
I LOVE ANDI SMITH! SMART, SEXY, FUNNY. Everything I'm not.

She'll be in the studio with us Friday morning round about 8am. You can see her tonight at Skyline Comedy Cafe. It's WAPL night with 2 for 1 admission. Just call 920-734-JOKE (5653).

If you're too good for the 2 for 1 admission, see her Friday or Saturday night for full price. It's your life! Just don't miss her!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/AdventuresInCamping
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
September 17th City of Waupun
A 30-year-old man was taken to the hospital after he told employees at the Walgreen's that vampires were trying to rip his head off. Walgreen's employees told police that the man had red marks on his neck and was sweating and acting anxious.

Now that we have our first evidence that they are in our area, as a public service, we assembled this list of signs that the person you meet might be a vampire!

If the person you encounter sucks even harder than the Chicago Bears...they might be a vampire.

If their skin is whiter than a Tea Party rally...they might be a vampire.

If their breath is reminiscent of what it would smell like if Kaukauna had an ass...they might be a vampire.

If their mouths are dripping with blood…and they weren't just hunting with Dick Cheney...they might be a vampire.

If they have a fear of water and smell like death and they're not the bride at a Menasha wedding...they might be a vampire.

If they meet Salma Hayek and they're more interested in her neck and than her boobs, her glorious, glorious boobs...they might be a vampire.

If they feast on human blood and suck the souls of the newly born...and they're not Larry King...they might be a vampire.

If their overall demeanor is even creepier than a date with Ken Kratz...they're definitely a vampire!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASBJJBIZVmk
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
Here's some of the video of the guy suing Menasha for TEN million dollars for the "intentional infliction of emotional distress, pain and suffering and intentional malice by putting my life in imminent danger with reckless behavior" over a May 30th police call about a possible burglary. The guy, who was not the burglar but still refused to show cops his I.D., just wanted cops to take him at his word that he was on his own property and couldn't understand why they needed some proof.


To see all of his videos of the police call (and video of him showing of his Dan the Tire Man t-shirt, which he claims police would be stupid to think someone would wear to commit a burglary) click here: http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20100923/APC0101/9230570/Story-video-Menasha-man-files-suit-against-city
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 22nd 2010
KFC has been paying college co-eds $500 a piece to use their butts as human billboards for their Double Down sandwiches (which, ironically, have no buns). A KFC spokesman says it's some of their least expensive but most effective advertising.

Here's some other "non-traditional" ways KFC could advertise.

OTHER NON-TRADITIONAL FORMS OF ADVERTISING FOR KFC.

10. Get Mel Gibson to angrily scream about the two-piece white-meat combo during next phone call to estranged wife.

9. Give money to dying celebrities like Zsa Zsa Gabor to say that when she kicks the bucket it will be one of theirs.

8. Because their barbecued wings are artificially orange-colored hunks of meat, get them roles on Jersey Shore.

7. Get Paris Hilton hooked on their food. If questioned by police, make sure she tells them it’s not her bucket and she thought the drumstick was gum.

6. Offer choice of Extra Crispy or Original Recipe to Brett Favre. Cash in on six months of free advertising as the news media camps outside of his Mississippi home waiting for him to make a decision.

5. Send some of those Mashed Potato bowls to a couple morning radio guys who didn't have breakfast and they'll talk about nothing else until 10am.

4. Get tea party activists to claim they suspect the Variety Bucket is a secret Muslim just because it's half dark meat.

3. Create misleading rumor about ingredients in their pot pies by making Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg their new spokespersons.

2. Five words: Colonel Sanders celebrity sex tape.

1. Pay Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz to start including the phrase "finger licking good" in his creepy texts to vulnerable women.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 21st 2010
Well, the big news in the Ken "The Prize" Kratz story today is that a woman is now claiming the embattled Calumet County D.A. once took her on a date at a Green Bay restaurant and that during the meal "The Prize" took several phone calls from detectives investigating the disappearance of a person who was later found to have been killed. The woman claims that "The Prize" discussed details of the investigation with her that had not been revealed to the public.

The woman also says that Kratz later sent her a text in which he invited her to go with him to an autopsy, provided she would be his girlfriend and would wear high heels and a skirt.

She says she met Kratz through a dating service. I'm guessing, E-ewwwwwHarmony.com.

The other development is that Kratz, while refusing to resign, has decided to take medical leave. Gee, I wonder what's wrong with him?

Here's some possible medical conditions afflicting "The Prize".

Nymph-amania: A neurological condition that results in sufferers excessive use of the word "nymph".

Hypersensitivity to Acetic Acid: An allergic reaction to vinegar brought on by being such an enormous douchebag.

AIDS: Contracted from oral contact with his own gay-ass mustache.

Tennessee Tux-ocity:
a rare congenital disorder where a person's own body starts poisoning itself out of shear embarrassment upon learning that it looks like Chumley, the cartoon walrus from the 60's cartoon series Tennessee Tuxedo.

Cream of the Cropophilia:
A delusional disorder where the sufferer believes himself to be a prize when, in fact, that's only true if the prize is for biggest, steaming hot turd.

Inflammation of the digiti primus:An infection of the thumbs caused by excessive texting alternating with sitting around with them both up your ass while you should be writing your resignation.

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 21st 2010
Apparently, the ability to teach spelling IS NOT among the 15 best things about South Bend, Indiana public schools.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post