They have these large black birds here at the resort that are kind of brazen. I believe they are fan-tailed grackles. Some of the grackles will actually slip into the buffet areas and try to steal food. Occasionally, you'll see one of these bad boys grab a chip from the salsa bar or a bread stick off the salad bar and fly off. However, yesterday, one flew into the restaurant as I was eating breakfast. It landed on the table next to mine, grabbed 3 sugar packets from the table dispenser with his beak and and took off.

What he was doing with the packets of sugar I can't say for sure. If he was simply eating it, don't be surprised if someday you see a Mexican fan-tailed grackle replace Wilford Brimely as the spokesperson for diabetes supplies. However, I have another theory.

I think the grackles are stealing sugar to make crystal meth that they then sell to the howler monkeys. That would certainly explain why they're up so early in the morning making their god-awful sounds.

If you find yourself thinking “Hey, I didn't know you used sugar to make crystal meth” , then you must be making the Crystal Light meth!

--Rick--

TOP 10 REASONS WISCONSIN IS BETTER THAN BEING HERE IN RIVIERA MAYA, MEXICO.

10.Lifting shovel after shovel of wet, heavy snow is better for building strong back muscles than lifting beer after beer after beer.

9.Amid the sweet smelling hibiscus and dahlias down here, your farts really stand out so you can't get away with blaming the mill like back home in Kaukauna.

8.Seeing a howler monkey in the treetops or on your balcony is nothing compared to the bunch of baboons you work with back home every day.

7. Swim-up bars are nice, but you can hang out at Anduzzi's all day long without getting pruney fingers.

6.It takes a more powerful stream to write your name in the sand than in does to write your name in fresh snow.

5.It's much easier to keep your beer cold while ice fishing on Winnebago than when relaxing on a white beach overlooking the Caribbean.

4.You can safely stroll down the Lake Michigan surf in March without fear of having your delicate sensibilities offended by the presence of hot, topless European sunbathers.

3.Northeastern Wisconsin residents are smart enough to put salt on icy roads instead of wasting it on the rims of a seemingly endless supply of delicious, thirst-quenching margaritas.

2.Back home you can simply turn on the radio and listen to Murphy and Maino, whereas, down here in Mexico you have to go into the jungle among the wild parrots to hear that kind of mindless chatter and squawking.

1.Sure, zip-line rides, para-sailing and water skiing are all fun but they all lack the shear heart pounding excitement and suspense of driving to work on ice covered Highway 41 with some stupid douche bag right on your ass.

So I finally figured out how to work a wireless internet thingy and so now I can blog from the 2009 International Incident in Riveiera Maya. What a fab resort this Iberostar Tucan is! Best ever WAPL trip yet with about a hundred intelligent, beautiful and always on their best behaviour Rockin' Apple companions.
During today's Rick and Len show I enjoyed 48 spankings for my birthday...and a "pinch to grow and inch. Like I need any more inches! Then we did a group catamaran cruise with a stop for snorkeling. And jumping from the top rail of the double-decker. I leaped twice. Greg Louganis I am not.
Rick and I also visited the Mayan Ruins at Chichen Itza on Sunday. Very impressive. We had heated discussions about which if us would have to be sacrificed on the ancient altar. In the end the Mayan God of good taste rejected us both.
The resort hasn't yet run out of alcohol but I might invest in tequila and cerveza immediately. Stock is sure to rise dramatically.
Check out the broadcasts this week from 7 to 9 a.m. live on the beach. Elwood and Roxanne are on the air from 3 to 5 p.m., too.
Wish you were here but since you're not, I'll have one for ya. Each and everyone one of ya!
Adios muchchos. For now at least.

The Oshkosh band The Willis (as in "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?") will be headed to New York City this week to play a test show for The Late Show with Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is replacing Conan O'Brien as O'Brien moves to the Tonight Show to replace Jay Leno.
Steve, Todd and Eric (the pretty Eric) joined us on the Rick and Len Show Monday. The hook-up with Fallon is the song Jimmy Fallon - the Plan on The Willis' album Bathtub, Lightbulb, Heart Attack. It's about a guy who makes a demo in hopes of meeting Jimmy Fallon. Funny how fiction becomes truth sometimes!
If Fallon and his guys like the band, they may be asked back as the musical guest after the show hits the air in early March. Check out The Willis at myspace.com/thewillis.

Friday morning (2.19), Michael Kosta, who's appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, will join Rick and Len in the studio. Michael is described as being "very tall, very handsom and very funny". That makes him EVERYTHING Rick isn't. To see Michael, book your reservations at 920-734-JOKE!

Michael is a former pro tennis player turned comedian and virgin slayer! To see Michael, book your reservations at 920-734-JOKE. Check him out here....

Fitting picture! I swiped it for a blog post I made on MySpace back in August and have now added to my new blog. Favre needs to retire...and stay retired. Enough drama already!

Josh Sneed will join Rick and Len in the studio on Friday morning (2.12) at about 8. You can see John tonight through Saturday at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton (Make reservations at 920-734-JOKE)...or check out this little nugget from his Comedy Central special.

Well, here we go AGAIN! Brett has reportedly informed the Jets that he's calling it quits.

I think Brett is really done this time

The 10,000 Lakes Music Festival in Minnesota has announced some of the lineup for July 22-25 in Detroit Lakes, MN. Len is headed there for a fourth straight year (he calls it his "important hippie business). The mainstage features The Dave Matthews Band, two nights of Widespread Panic, and Wilco. In all, there'll be more than 60 bands on several stages with cool wooded camping, lakes and the coolest vibe around. Click here for all the info you'll need. Groovy!

This week, area law enforcement authorities addressed concerns about a report that came out back in Novemeber that claimed that northeast Wisconsin was a hotbed of "gang activitiy". Are they kidding? Perhaps they're not familiar with these active area gangs.

RECENT AREA GANG ACTIVITY

The Menasha Polish Kings. Federal investigators believe that over the last 9 years they have been responsible for at least a half dozen "sudsings" of the downtown fountain.

The Little Chute Dutch Disciples. Have been known to enter public buildings in large, unruly groups and surreptitiously scuff their floors by traipsing across them while wearing their bad-ass wooden shoes.

The blood enemies of the Dutch Disciples, the Kaukauna Cripes. Cripes hey, they can be recognized by the distinctive clothes pins they wear on their noses. While they have yet to commit a serious crime, undercover members of the Heart of the Valley Gang Taskforce have it on good authority that the members have been stealing old ratty underwear from people's garbage and storing it with the intent of sneaking into Little Chute and hanging it from the windmill should the windmill ever actually get built.

The Oshkosh area chapter of the Knights of Columbus. During last year's presidential campaign, this gang of middle aged catholic men stole Obama yard signs from outside three different homes before feeling guilty and returning them before anybody noticed.

The Shiocton Farm Boys. Federal authorities believe they are responsible for as many as 63% of all Outagamie County cow tippings since 1997.

Troop 541 of the Girl Scouts of America based in Sobiske. The Brown County Gang Enforcement Division have identified them as being responsible for dozens of sightings of members wearing their distinctive Kelly green colors while ringing area doorbells, armed with Thin Mints, Carmel Delights and Do Si Dos and threatening the diets of god fearing area residents.

The Fond du Lac Yellow River Mafia. These notoriously weak bladdered miscreants don't spray paint gang signs on buildings but rather, have their own means of marking their territory on sidewalks throughout the downtown. The infamous Puddles McCoy was ousted from his leadership position last year after a sex scandal that erupted within the gangs ranks after McCoy's name was left on Portland Avenue written in his own urine but in another male gang member's handwriting.

One of our favorite comics joins us from 8:00 to 9:00 on Friday the 6th. He's been on the Rick and Len Show a few times and never fails to amaze. Catch him at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton through Saturday. Call 920-734-JOKE for reservations. Click here to check out more of Eddie's stand-up comedy.

Just a note of thanks to everyone who expressed support during the tense moments following the Rick and Len Show's Shamwow experiment last week. As it turns out, I didn't get fired after all. But it seems that some of you like me...you really really like me...and that's cool. To those who expressed joy over the prospect of a WAPL without Len (and there are more than a few of you), I hope you choke on your Shamwow. Until the next time we pull a stupid stunt, and rest assured there will be a next time, it's still the Rick AND Len show.

You can win one of these awesome Human Touch back massage pads on the Listener Call-ins this week (and next) on the Rick and Len Show.

They retail for $249.00. You can get one direct from the manufacturer for just $149.00 by clcking here... www.humantouch.com/ht-1470.html#

This has simply got to be one of the most dumbass stunts I have ever heard anyone try. I mean, you guys even said before the whole debacle what a stupid idea it was, how expensive the equipment was, and what the repercussions might be. But you went and did it anyway. I'll bet when you were kids you guys ran around in the middle of the street half-naked with a pair of scissors in one hand and a bb-gun in the other.

By the way.... I TOTALLY LOVED IT!! This is entertainment at it's best. You can't BUY publicity like this. This is the most hair-brained stunt in the universe and I'm still laughing my ass off about it. Heck, I've told all my friends and my wife to listen to this. Dang. I only wish you had videotaped the whole thing. You guys still need to be spanked and made to stand in the corner, but man, I hope they don't can you. This was funny.

Tom and Pete will haunt your dreams! (best part comes at 1:40, scariest part at 2:07!)

We know the most pressing question facing you this nasty Wisconsin winter is "Should I buy the original blanket with sleeves, the Slanket, or settle for it's cheaper imitation, the Snuggie"? Perhaps you need the WTF Blanket!