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sep 23rd 2010
Maybe Obama will take them out for a beer and make it all better.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
I LOVE ANDI SMITH! SMART, SEXY, FUNNY. Everything I'm not.

She'll be in the studio with us Friday morning round about 8am. You can see her tonight at Skyline Comedy Cafe. It's WAPL night with 2 for 1 admission. Just call 920-734-JOKE (5653).

If you're too good for the 2 for 1 admission, see her Friday or Saturday night for full price. It's your life! Just don't miss her!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/AdventuresInCamping
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
September 17th City of Waupun
A 30-year-old man was taken to the hospital after he told employees at the Walgreen's that vampires were trying to rip his head off. Walgreen's employees told police that the man had red marks on his neck and was sweating and acting anxious.

Now that we have our first evidence that they are in our area, as a public service, we assembled this list of signs that the person you meet might be a vampire!

If the person you encounter sucks even harder than the Chicago Bears...they might be a vampire.

If their skin is whiter than a Tea Party rally...they might be a vampire.

If their breath is reminiscent of what it would smell like if Kaukauna had an ass...they might be a vampire.

If their mouths are dripping with blood…and they weren't just hunting with Dick Cheney...they might be a vampire.

If they have a fear of water and smell like death and they're not the bride at a Menasha wedding...they might be a vampire.

If they meet Salma Hayek and they're more interested in her neck and than her boobs, her glorious, glorious boobs...they might be a vampire.

If they feast on human blood and suck the souls of the newly born...and they're not Larry King...they might be a vampire.

If their overall demeanor is even creepier than a date with Ken Kratz...they're definitely a vampire!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASBJJBIZVmk
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd 2010
Here's some of the video of the guy suing Menasha for TEN million dollars for the "intentional infliction of emotional distress, pain and suffering and intentional malice by putting my life in imminent danger with reckless behavior" over a May 30th police call about a possible burglary. The guy, who was not the burglar but still refused to show cops his I.D., just wanted cops to take him at his word that he was on his own property and couldn't understand why they needed some proof.


To see all of his videos of the police call (and video of him showing of his Dan the Tire Man t-shirt, which he claims police would be stupid to think someone would wear to commit a burglary) click here: http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20100923/APC0101/9230570/Story-video-Menasha-man-files-suit-against-city
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 22nd 2010
KFC has been paying college co-eds $500 a piece to use their butts as human billboards for their Double Down sandwiches (which, ironically, have no buns). A KFC spokesman says it's some of their least expensive but most effective advertising.

Here's some other "non-traditional" ways KFC could advertise.

OTHER NON-TRADITIONAL FORMS OF ADVERTISING FOR KFC.

10. Get Mel Gibson to angrily scream about the two-piece white-meat combo during next phone call to estranged wife.

9. Give money to dying celebrities like Zsa Zsa Gabor to say that when she kicks the bucket it will be one of theirs.

8. Because their barbecued wings are artificially orange-colored hunks of meat, get them roles on Jersey Shore.

7. Get Paris Hilton hooked on their food. If questioned by police, make sure she tells them it’s not her bucket and she thought the drumstick was gum.

6. Offer choice of Extra Crispy or Original Recipe to Brett Favre. Cash in on six months of free advertising as the news media camps outside of his Mississippi home waiting for him to make a decision.

5. Send some of those Mashed Potato bowls to a couple morning radio guys who didn't have breakfast and they'll talk about nothing else until 10am.

4. Get tea party activists to claim they suspect the Variety Bucket is a secret Muslim just because it's half dark meat.

3. Create misleading rumor about ingredients in their pot pies by making Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg their new spokespersons.

2. Five words: Colonel Sanders celebrity sex tape.

1. Pay Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz to start including the phrase "finger licking good" in his creepy texts to vulnerable women.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 21st 2010
Well, the big news in the Ken "The Prize" Kratz story today is that a woman is now claiming the embattled Calumet County D.A. once took her on a date at a Green Bay restaurant and that during the meal "The Prize" took several phone calls from detectives investigating the disappearance of a person who was later found to have been killed. The woman claims that "The Prize" discussed details of the investigation with her that had not been revealed to the public.

The woman also says that Kratz later sent her a text in which he invited her to go with him to an autopsy, provided she would be his girlfriend and would wear high heels and a skirt.

She says she met Kratz through a dating service. I'm guessing, E-ewwwwwHarmony.com.

The other development is that Kratz, while refusing to resign, has decided to take medical leave. Gee, I wonder what's wrong with him?

Here's some possible medical conditions afflicting "The Prize".

Nymph-amania: A neurological condition that results in sufferers excessive use of the word "nymph".

Hypersensitivity to Acetic Acid: An allergic reaction to vinegar brought on by being such an enormous douchebag.

AIDS: Contracted from oral contact with his own gay-ass mustache.

Tennessee Tux-ocity:
a rare congenital disorder where a person's own body starts poisoning itself out of shear embarrassment upon learning that it looks like Chumley, the cartoon walrus from the 60's cartoon series Tennessee Tuxedo.

Cream of the Cropophilia:
A delusional disorder where the sufferer believes himself to be a prize when, in fact, that's only true if the prize is for biggest, steaming hot turd.

Inflammation of the digiti primus:An infection of the thumbs caused by excessive texting alternating with sitting around with them both up your ass while you should be writing your resignation.

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 21st 2010
Apparently, the ability to teach spelling IS NOT among the 15 best things about South Bend, Indiana public schools.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 20th 2010
Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz has said he will not resign. Instead, he's taking some "medical leave". Since when has being a creepy a-hole been considered a medical condition? If that was the case, I'd be in intensive care!

Apparently, the medical condition must be his blindness that prevents him from seeing that what he did was wrong! To help, "The Prize" we've assembled these easy to recognize signs that...

IT MIGHT BE TIME TO RESIGN

If you're less popular than Ted Nugent at a PETA meeting...it might be time to resign.

If Mel Gibson has a better chance of becoming a sensitivity trainer than you have of getting re-elected...it might be time to resign.

If your presence is less appreciated than mine at an orgy...it might be time to resign.

If you have less support than Barrack Obama at a Klan rally...it might be time to resign.

If you'd have had to done what Bill Clinton did to leave a worst taste in people's mouths...it might be time to resign.

If the folks at Massengill concede that even with over 70 years of experience behind them, they've still never seen a bigger douchebag...it's definitely time to resign!!!!!!!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 20th 2010
August 31st City of Menasha
A patrol officer on First and Racine streets observed a man urinating on the sidewalk. The man was very intoxicated and initially denied it. After the officer pointed out to the man that he had also urinated on himself, he apologized.

September 8th City of Beaver Dam
Police were called to the Shell Travel Mart where an alert clerk caught a perpetrator in the act of absconding with a Tootsie Roll.

September 7th Village of Pulaski
A Nightingale Drive resident reported to police that someone pooped in her mailbox.

September 7th City of Portage
Police received a report of the theft of a flag with a picture of a big yellow smiley face.

September 13th City of Whitefish Bay
Police responded to a 911 call on North Hollywood. The resident told responding officers there was no emergency and that her 15-year-old daughter "dials and texts in her sleep."

September 10th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported to police that her father brought a pickup load of her belongings to school and just left them.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 17th 2010
Members of the Fox Cityz Foxz will be suited up in their roller derby outfits and selling tickets for the Jonah Hinds raffle at Gander Mountain in both Appleton and Sheboygan tomorrow (Saturday) morning at 10!

Buy some tix from hot chicks, help a great kid and win cool stuff like an Aaron Rodger's autographed jersey, Ted Nugent signed boar skull, an Amazon Kindle or any of the other great prizes.

For a complete list of prizes (and to learn more about Jonah or buy tickets on-line) click the Help Twitchy Raffle icon on the right!

Tickets are just $10 each, six for $50 or 13 for $100. Thanks for your support and good luck!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 17th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz who, over the course of three days, sent 30 text messages of a domestic abuse victim whose assailant Kratz was supposed to be prosecuting. Among the messages were gems like...

"Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA...the riskier the better?"

"Hey...Miss Communication, what's with the sticking point? Your low self-esteem and you fear you can't successfully play in my big sandbox?"

"I'm the attorney. I have the $350,000 house. I have the 6-figure career. You may be the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!"

So,

For sending text messages that are almost as creepy as his 70's gay porno mustache.

For claiming to be "the prize", when, as far as I know, no woman has ever considered a man who looks like the mutant offspring of Chris Farley and Joseph Stalin a "prize".

For not realizing that "prizes" like him don’t come in a Cracker Jack box...they come in a tissue.

And for causing a world wide "w" shortage by creating texts for which the only suitable response is ..."Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"!

We are proud to name Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 16th 2010
The autographed Aaron Rodgers jersey and and autographed Ted Nugent boar's head are just the tip of the iceberg for prizes in the Jonah Hinds benefit raffle.

To see the complete list of prizes and to buy your tickets on-line (and to learn more about Jonah), click the Help Twitchy Raffle icon on the right.

Jonah is a great kid and his family is facing medical bills will into the 6 figures and the insurance company ain't paying it. do what you can to help by buying your raffle tickets today!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 16th 2010
Have you read the creepy test messages Calumet County District Attorney Ken Kratz sent to a domestic abuse victim whose assailant he was supposed to be prosecuting? He texted things like Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA...the riskier the better?" and "Im the atty. I have the $350,000 house. I have the 6-figure career. You may have the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!"

How creepy are D.A. Ken Kratz test messages? Allow us to try to put them in perspective.

JUST HOW CREEPY ARE KEN KRATZ'S TEXT MESSAGES?

Creepier than an adult wearing toy X-Ray Specs but not quite as creepy as an adult wearing toy X-Ray Specs to a playground.

Creepier than a clown winking at you but not quite as creepy as a clown winking at you while he pees at the urinal right next to you.

Creepier than seeing a herpe on the lip of a mall Santa but quite not as creepy as seeing a herpe anywhere else on a mall Santa.

Creepier than a kiss from an elderly aunt who slips you the tongue but not quite as creepy as a kiss from an elderly aunt who slips you the tongue...and her dentures.

Creepier than a hug from Dick Cheney but not quite as creepy as a hug from Dick Cheney and a reach around from Donald Rumsfeld.

Creepier than watching porn with your grandfather but not quite as creepy as watching porn staring your grandfather.

Creepier than an ice cream truck that plays "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls but not quite as creepy as an ice cream truck that plays "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls being driven by a guy with a noticeably erect third nipple.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 16th 2010
Fresh off of being named "Best in Fest" at North America's biggest comedy festival, Collin Moultin returns to Appleton's Skyline Comedy Cafe and that means he also returns to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8. Why? Because comics love to get up early!

You can hear Collin on the air with us Friday morning about 8am and see him at the Skyline Comedy Cafe through Saturday. In fact, tonight is WAPL night. Mention that when you make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE(5653) and they'll give you 2 for 1 admission. It's the law!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/Bachelorette_parties
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 16th 2010
This thing is part of a prize pack I won. Any idea what it's for?

-Rick-


posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 15th 2010
Fifty of the nation's wealthiest people recently had their annual rich bastard's meeting. At least 10 billionaires (with a "B"!) were in attendance at this year's Blackstone Group meeting. According to to reports, the mood was downbeat, even gloomy. Yes, the recession has taken it's toll on America's billionaires, poor things.

Hey, turn that frown upside down, Mr. (or Ms.) Money Bags! And let us take a look at the top ten...

REASONS BILLIONAIRES ARE DEPRESSED

10. Surgeon General has warned that the cigars they've been lighting with hundred dollar bills could be hazardous to their health.

9. They've developed painful blisters on fingertips from repeatedly tapping them together while mumbling, "excellent".

8. They learned that Obama-care fails to provide medical coverage for injuries sustained while rolling around on beds covered with large piles of dirty, sexy money.

7. They've been spending too much time in their gloomy ass bat cave with their sad bastard manservant Alfred.

6. Due to meddling by the Food and Drug Administration, they can no longer legally buy Baby Gold Bond Powder made from real gold...and real babies.

5. They're sure if the seemingly never ending supply of bosomy blonds with asses you could bounce quarters off lining up for an opportunity to bang them like a cheap screen door are just interested in them for their money.

4. They hate the dirty looks they get for taking up 5 spaces with their stretch limo in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

3. Billions inherited from family's famed hotel empire can't change the fact that their daughter's a coke addled whore. (Richard Hilton only)

2. Due to rising inflation, cost of having a business rival tortured and killed 4.3% higher than at this time last year.

1. They were informed that Lamborghini is still no closer to producing a high performance car that runs on an enriched mixture of beluga caviar, Cristal champagne and the crushed dreams of the working poor.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 15th 2010
You may have heard us play the song "Donald Driver" by the band Dos Guyz on the Rick and Len Show...and now you can buy it!

"Donald Driver" is a fantastic ode to the Pack's #80 put the the tune of Dio's "Holy Diver." It's the brainchild of a former Wisconsin resident and die-hard Packer fan who now lives and rocks in Seattle.
Click here to hear it or buy it for yourself.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 15th 2010
What do you get when you cross Van Halen with John Lennon?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIOdvXE7kbI
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 13th 2010
Jonah Hinds (for whom we're hosting a benefit raffle) will be featured tonight on a Discovery Health Channel special tonight at 8pm with repeats at 10pm and throughout the week. Find out more about this sensational kid from Van Dyne and his remarkable struggle by checking it out. Here's a clip of Jonah from the show


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHzGye1H2k

And make sure you buy some tickets for the benefit raffle by clicking the donate button below. You could win a Ted Nugent autographed boar's skull, an Aaron Rodger's autographed jersey, an Amazon Kindle, cool electronic gizmos, retail gift cards, prize baskets and more. The prize list is growing daily.

Buy your tickets easily and securely through PayPal by simply clicking on the DONATE button below.Your donation amount will determine how many raffle ticket numbers we will assign. Your numbers will be sent to you via the email address you use when you donate.


Tickets are just $10 each, six for $50 or 13 for $100. Thanks for your support and good luck!














posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post