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sep 17th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz who, over the course of three days, sent 30 text messages of a domestic abuse victim whose assailant Kratz was supposed to be prosecuting. Among the messages were gems like...

"Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA...the riskier the better?"

"Hey...Miss Communication, what's with the sticking point? Your low self-esteem and you fear you can't successfully play in my big sandbox?"

"I'm the attorney. I have the $350,000 house. I have the 6-figure career. You may be the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!"

So,

For sending text messages that are almost as creepy as his 70's gay porno mustache.

For claiming to be "the prize", when, as far as I know, no woman has ever considered a man who looks like the mutant offspring of Chris Farley and Joseph Stalin a "prize".

For not realizing that "prizes" like him don’t come in a Cracker Jack box...they come in a tissue.

And for causing a world wide "w" shortage by creating texts for which the only suitable response is ..."Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"!

We are proud to name Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 10th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer’s Market. If you missed the story earlier in the week, while attending this past Saturday's Farmer's Market in Appleton, I encountered a woman in her little jogging outfit and ear buds who was growing more and more irritated that people kept inadvertently stepping in front of her while she was trying to jog through the middle of a crowd of a few thousand people. Every few steps, the woman would have to zig around one person only to have to zag around the next. Each time shaking her head in disbelief at their rudeness for strolling down College Avenue at a casual pace and examining the Farmer's Market merchandise while she was trying to jog, dammit! She made her displeasure all the more clear by gently pushing people like myself out of her way and uttering frustrated grunts and harrumphs in the general direction of the offenders.

So,

For being more clueless than the Jimmy Hoffa investigation.

For acting more entitled than Paris Hilton on Free Hot Wings for Coke Whores night.

And for wearing an expensive looking jogging outfit when all she really needed to be wearing was a t-shirt that read, "There is no I in team...but there is one smack dab in the middle of BITCH!"

We are proud to name the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer's Market as this week's Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 3rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Jonathan Popple of Baraboo who, according to police, shot a hole through the floor of his home because he was so stoned he thought he was shooting at a space alien from a movie.

So,

For trying to pop a cap in the alien's ass before the alien could put a probe in his.

For apparently being so paranoid he felt he had to stop E.T. before that pencil-necked space monkey ate all his Reese's Pieces.

And for forgoing a close encounter of the 3rd kind in favor of a close encounter of the 4/20th kind.

We are proud to name Jonathon Popple who shot a hole in his floor while trying to shoot a space alien he saw after getting stoned...as this week’s Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 13th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...two of the strippers involved in an altercation this week outside The Other Place, a Fond du Lac strip club. Two dancers in their 30's allegedly roughly grabbed and spit on a 21-year-old dancer whom they accused of allowing men to inappropriately touch her during lap dances so she could make more money. The 21-year-old told police the altercation started in the club's dressing room where someone, presumably one or both of the two older dancers, glued her curling iron shut.

So,

For gluing the other stripper's curling iron shut when they obviously really wanted to glue her legs shut.

For getting into a 3-way all stripper cat fight outside the business proving once and for all that the streets of Fond du Lac are way too classy to be known ONLY for public urination.

And for using glue on the curling iron which proves there is, in fact, something in a strip club even stickier than the pole (and presumably the pants of the 21-year-old dancer's customers!)

We are proud to name the fighting Fondy strippers as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

(Picture not of the actual Fondy fighting strippers!)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 30th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton police officer who reportedly gave a 22-year-old girl who puked on the curb while waiting for a cab a $200.00 citation for "littering" because, as she was later informed, "puking will not be tolerated in Appleton".

So,

For assuming she was drunk when she may have been just training to be a super model.

For disrupting her while she was in the process of delivering a pavement pizza.

For interfering while she was kindly guiding some emigrants out of Tummyland.

And for violating the girl's right to religious freedom by interrupting her while she was doing the next best thing to praying to the porcelain god, which is giving offerings to the cement deity.

We are proud to name the Appleton police officer who cited the girl for littering because she vomited as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 23rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
Outagamie County Board Supervisor Peter Beckley, who this week was charged
drunk driving...for the fourth time!

Police say he was driving without headlights on one night last February when an officer tried to pull him over. But even though the cop had his squad car lights and siren on, Beckley didn't pull over. Instead he drove into his own driveway and tried to walk into his house. The criminal complaint says he then refused a sobriety test and told the officer "this is my house" and ordered the cop off the property. By the way, his license was already suspended from his third O-W-I.


So,

For apparently thinking that no matter how drunk you are, as long as you make it home, you're good. No ticket for you.

For allegedly having a point-oh-two-one blood alcohol content, which is apparently about twice as high as his I-Q.

And for doing his level best as the county's Finance Committee Chairman to keep the county in the black by paying lots of drunk driving fines.

We are proud to name Outagamie County Board Supervisor and accused four-time drunk driving offender Peter Beckley as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...the several people who called Appleton police early Thursday morning to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue. Responding officers rushed to the scene only to find...a shirtless man wearing tan shorts.

So,

For apparently getting their hopes up that the Appleton entertainment district had suddenly become more entertaining.

For not being able to define obscenity but knowing it when they don't really see it.

And for calling the pigs before they even saw the pork.

We are proud to name all the people who called the Appleton PD to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue when it was really just a guy in tan shorts as this week's Rick and Len Show... Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 9th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Bryce Hinkel who was charged Wednesday in Winnebago County Circuit Court with attempted first-degree intentional homicide and his fourth OWI in five years after he allegedly tried to run down a pedestrian in an apartment complex parking lot on Marathon Avenue in Neenah. When police apprehended Hinkle, he reportedly smelled of intoxicants, had bloodshot eyes and his lips, tongue and teeth were covered in a greenish, blue tint. Hinkel told officers the greenish, blue coloring was from food coloring that he drank because of its alcohol content. He told them he had also been drinking both vodka and a bottle of vanilla extract.

So,

For allegedly attempting homicide while under the influence of baking products.

For finding the most creative way to get drunk since Kitty Dukakis whipped up a rubbing alcohol gimlet.

For dispensing with the old cliché of getting caught red handed in favor of getting caught greenish, blue tongued.

And for getting drunk on vanilla extract and food coloring, leaving him just a cup of flour and a can of frosting shy of being charged with impersonating a Christmas cookie.

We are proud to name Bryce Hinkel as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 2nd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Mike Baumgartner of Madison who this week was busted for watching porn...while touching himself...at a McDonald's...in the play area. Baumgartner was reportedly typing with one hand and fondling himself with the other while watching pornographic images on his laptop with 15 to 20 children playing nearby. Baumgartner told the arresting officer he had just "exercised poor judgment".

So,

For not understanding that just because he's in the play area of a McDonald's doesn't mean he gets to stick his hand in his ball pit.

For not realizing that being in a McDonald's doesn't automatically mean you can touch your McNuggets.

for not just exercising poor judgment, but rather, the worst judgment anyone has exercised since Kurt Cobain said "I do".

And for punching the clown at McDonald's...and we don't mean Ronald.

We are proud to name Mike Baumgartner of Madison as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 25th 2010
We are proud to name former Wisconsin assemblyman and current state senate candidate Frank Lasee, who, according to one of our listeners, took a leak in the backyard of the home of a Chilton woman after leaving a campaign flier in her mailbox.

So,

For apparently not understanding that just because you're running for senate in District 1 doesn't mean you’re entitled to go number 1 in any potential constituents yard.

For reportedly not understanding that just because you’re a Republican, it don’t mean you have to be a G.O.P'er.

For apparently being full of urine when traditionally politicians are full of crap.

For apparently not realizing that you can't just pee anywhere you want in Chilton. I mean, it's not Fond du Lac for god sake.

And for allegedly peeing in yard after leaving a flier in her mailbox leaving her to thank her lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.

We are proud to name Frank "Leaky" Lasee as this week’s Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!


We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Cocktail Frank...Painter Mike Sandmire from Neumann Company in Romeoville, Illinois who, when painting the 6-foot high letters on the new water tower in Stoughton this past week, forgot the second "T" .

So,

For being a sign painter who is bad at spelling...which is a little like being a chef who's bad at cooking, a carpenter who's bad at building or a politician who's bad at lying.

For at least getting 8 of the 9 letters correct which is really far more than we should expect from a FIB.

And for doing something that was idio-ic, no- smar- and frankly, s-upid, s-upid, s-upid...

We are proud to name Mike Sandmire as this week's Rick and Len...COCK-AIL FRANK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 18th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...60-year-old Lloyd Pitzen of Oshkosh, a registered sex offender who has been banned from the Neenah Public Library after some patrons reported him allegedly lurking about, staring at children and fondling himself. Pitzen faced accusations of similar behavior at the Neenah Public Library back in December.

So,

For actions that could have made the library's "decimal system" even more "Dewey".

For not understanding that just because it may have been children's story time, that's no excuse for him Jack'n the Beanstalk.

And for not borrowing any books from the library but still checking out Moby Dick.

We are proud to name Lloyd Pitzen of Oshkosh, only the 3rd person in 22 years to get banned from the Neenah Public Library as this week’s Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 11th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Joleen Stupar of Sheboygan who was arrested after she was found slumped over the steering wheel of her parked mini van with a blood alcohol level of .39, nearly five times the legal limit...and her 3-year-old child in the back seat. Stupar then reportedly threatened to kill the officer who was taking her to the hospital for a blood draw. When he explained the reason for the blood draw was to see if she was intoxicated, Stupar responded, "Oh I’m intoxicated. I'll tell you that much!"

It was Stupar's THIRD DUI...ALL with blood alcohol levels of over 0.3.

So,

For driving her 3-year-old around while acting about as responsible of a 2-year-old.
exactly!

And for violating the first rule of Wisconsin parenting that when you're driving your children around drunk, you can only be as many times over the legal limit as the child's age.

We are proud to name Joleen Stupar of Sheboygan as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 4th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...20-year-old Dillon Makuski of Amherst who, this week, was convicted on charges relating to a burglary back in September. According to the police report, Makuski broke into a home because he likes to wear diapers and thought there might be some in the house. While searching Makuski, a deputy allegedly found six dirty diapers in his pockets, along with a large diaper he was wearing. Makuski told the deputy he got the diapers from a different house that he did not break into.

So,

For stealing dirty diapers instead of dirty panties like any real self-respecting pervert.

For claiming he got the diapers from a home that he didn't break into which is an explanation that might be as full of crap as the pilfered Pampers in his pockets.

For being an adult who wears diapers making him just a set of suspenders away from being Larry King.

We are proud to name the dirty diaper desperado, Dillon Makuski as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 28th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…The highly intoxicated Green Lake County man who frightened the residents of a home near Princeton Monday night. The home owner told police that she feared the man was trying to enter her home and thought she had heard one or more gun shots. Responding sheriff's deputies found the suspect not carrying a gun and armed only with a old bicycle seat. Deputies determined the gun shots the caller had heard were actually just the sound of the man repeatedly hitting the side of the caller's house with the bicycle seat. The bicycle seat wielding man eventually realized that, due to his level of intoxication, he was pounding on the wrong house. Deputies arrested the man but didn't say why he was carrying a bicycle seat.

So,

For not realizing that even if the only part of a bicycle you have is the seat, it's no reason to get Huffy.

For proving that there are crimes you can commit with a bicycle seat that don't even involve sniffing it.

And for actions that could get him locked up with someone who will be happy to pound his seat for him.

We are proud to name the intoxicated Green Lake County man who frightened the residents of a home near Princeton when he pounded on the wrong house with his bike seat as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 21st 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…the Green Bay man on Phoebe Street who, after a long night of drinking, awoke to find the bed he was sleeping in soaked in urine and, naturally, BLAMED HIS DOG whom he then punched 20 times.

So,

For apparently having as much trouble controlling his anger as he has controlling his bladder.

For committing an act, for which the only suitable punishment is tossing him naked into a pen of pit bulls wearing only a condom made of kibble.

And for not understanding that "denial" is not just a river in Egypt...it's also a good name for the river of urine running from his own drunken, shriveled wiener to his Sealy Posturpedic.

We are proud to name the Green Bay man, who blamed his dog for his own bed being wet after a night of heavy drinking, as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 14th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...46-year-old Michael Vinson of Two Rivers who last week, when his pregnant girlfriend told him she was in labor, didn't respond by rushing her to the hospital. Instead, he allegedly demanded she give him money to buy beer and, when she only gave him a third of her monthly disability check, punched her in the head and threatened her with a butcher knife.

So,

For apparent actions so bizarre and beyond the pale it makes you want to permanently retire the letters W.T. and F.

For reportedly doing something so epically appalling it made me want to write a poem about it but unfortunately there is nothing that rhymes with "jaw-dropping douchebaggery".

And for allegedly showing no compassion for a person in great discomfort with something large and painful in one of their orifices...a sensation he may have an opportunity to experience himself should he end up in prison.

We are proud to name the Michael Vinson of Two Rivers as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 7th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Milton Summers of Green Bay who faces criminal charges for allegedly head-butting his son's 13-year-old lacrosse teammate and punching his coach. Summers reportedly yelled at several of his son's teammates and then grabbed one of the boys by the ears, head-butted him and then pushed him into a fence, According to reports, Summers then punched the boy's coach in the face twice when he tried to intervene.

So,

For being more tightly wound than an obsessive compulsive's wristwatch.

For butting a 13-year-old boy with his head which at least put it to some use since he apparently doesn't utilize it for thinking.

For not being afraid to punch a coach which makes you wonder "Hey, where was this guy during Mike Sherman and Ray Rhodes years with the Packers".

We are proud to name Milton Summers of Green Bay, who allegedly head-butted one of his son's 13-year-old lacrosse teammates before punching the coach as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 30th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Platteville Police Officer Michelle Salentine who this week was charged with...maintaining a crack house. According to the police report, Salentine also regularly smoked crack including times when she was on duty, in uniform and carrying a firearm. Salentine has admitted to authorities that she's been smoking crack 4 to 6 times a week for about a year.

So,

For being both a cop and a crack user...which sounds to me like she's just trying to double her chances of meeting Bobby Brown.

For exercising the worst judgment this state has seen since the Packers gave Mike Sherman a contract extension.

For not heeding the words of Confucius who once said, "Police officer who smoke crack see career go up in smoke".

And for not understanding that you become a cop to crack heads not to BE a crack head!

We are proud to name Michelle Salentine, the crack smoking cop of Platteville as this week's Rick and Len...Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 16th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the 30-year-old man who was arrested Sunday morning in the Town of Menasha after punching and kicking another man during an altercation...at Christ the Rock Community Church. The man allegedly also broke a pew and punched a sheriff's deputy.

So,

For ignoring the little known 11th commandment: "Whilst in a place of worship, thou shalt not be a douche-bag".

For not realizing that it's not permissible to commit a crime in a church...unless you're wearing a white collar.

And for not understanding that while it's called Christ "The Rock", it doesn't mean the church is suitable for WWE Wrestling. (Do you suppose, after he hit and kicked the guy, he yelled out, "Can you smell what Christ the Rock is cookin'?" Then again, if they don't want wrestling on their property, maybe they should call it Christ the Dwayne Johnson Community Church. I'm just saying!)

We are proud to name the guy who was arrested for fighting Sunday morning in Christ the Rock Community Church in the Town of Menasha as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 9th 2010
We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake. The manager reportedly arrived at work shortly after the bank opened last Thursday while a robbery was in progress but didn't notice anything unusual and went right to her office. While she was sitting at her desk, the gun wielding robber was locking all the tellers in the vault. She was reportedly still sitting at her desk when the robber walked out the north door of the bank with between 10 and 100 thousand dollars.

So,

For not paying attention while somebody just walks off with customer's hard earned money...which I thought was the Federal Government's job.

For proving that ignorance isn't just bliss...it's apparently also a management position.

And for being even less aware of what's going on around her than Helen Keller in oven mitts.

We are proud to name the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake as this week’s Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post