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may 19th
APOCALYPSE; NOW...ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY!
Well, this is it! According to that one dude, Saturday the world is going to end. Here\'s a list of:

WHAT CELEBRITIES WILL BE DOING DURING SATURDAY\'S APOCALYPSE


ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER...won\'t see any of the apocalypse since, if the pictures of the maid he\'s been banging are any indication, he\'s been totally blind for 14 years.

BILL CLINTON...will ignore the reports of the apocalypse and will head to Bay Beach Saturday where he will spend the day repeatedly unzippin\' his pippin.

JAY CUTLER...will spend the day pouting and weeping...not because it\'s the end of the world...but because it\'s a day that ends in "y".

OSAMA BIN LADEN...will be unaware of the apocalypse since he\'ll be spending the day being passed through some ocean bottom-feeder\'s colon.

RICH BRITISH WOMEN...will spend the day watching as "the sun becomes black as hair sackcloth, and the whole moon becomes red like blood" while trying to find big goofy hats that match the color scheme.

MICHAEL STIPE AND OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BAND R.E.M....will feel fine.

THE EDITOR OF THE GREEN BAY PRESS GAZETTE...will spend the day making excuses for why "apocalypse" is misspelled on the front page headline.

KEITH RICHARDS...will spend Saturday getting acquainted with many cockroaches since, as of Sunday, they will be his only living companions.

BRETT FAVRE...will spend the day converting to the Hindu religion which believes in reincarnation so he can spend the rest of eternity trying to decide if he’s going to come back or not.