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jan 5th
BIRDS OF A FEATHER DIE TOGETHER
As you\'ve probably heard, thousands of birds dropped from the sky, dead late New Years Eve and early New Years morning. What caused it. Nobody knows. (However, it does bear some similarities to the plot of last season\'s failed ABC series Flash Forward.)

Here\'s our list of:

THINGS THAT MIGHT HAVE KILLED ALL THOSE BIRDS.

10. Shot by Dick Cheney who mistook them for an old man\'s face.

9. Simply, died of embarrassment when revealed to be Chicago Bear fans.

8. Don’t really know but can anybody tell me if OJ was in Arkansas this weekend?

Took their own lives rather than live long enough to watch last night’s premier of Paula Abdul\'s new Live to Dance show on FOX.

Were killed by their bookies when they didn\'t pay up after the Badgers failed to cover the spread.

5. Just didn\'t want to go on living if Brett Favre wasn\'t going to play football anymore.

4. Encountered Ozzy Osbourne with a really bad case of the munchies.

3. Lifetime of eating brats and fried cheese curds finally caught up with them.

2. Shot by Green Bay Police who swear they thought the birds had a gun.

1. Not sure but Democrats are blaming Bush, the Republicans are blaming Obama and the Tea Partiers are demanding to see the birds\' birth certificates.