Bugs Bunny turned 70 this week. You can tell Bugs is getting older since:
a. He keeps taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque.
b. He no longer cares if it’s duck season or rabbit season.
c. The only time he ever says "What\'s up, doc?" is when his physician is checking his prostate.
Among the celebrities who were NOT invited to Warner Brothers 70th birthday bash for Bugs Bunny was Richard Gere. The reason Gere was not invited was:
a. he\'s not a fan of Bugs.
b. the violence in the Bugs Bunny cartoons runs counter to his Buddhist beliefs.
c. they didn\'t want him going home with a wild hare up his ass.
Ryan Seacrest is reportedly "dating" dancer Juliana Hough. The two are a perfect match since:
a. she appears on Dancing with the Stars and he appears on American Idol.
b. she\'s 5 foot 1 and he\'s 5 foot 2.
c. she\'s light on her feet and he\'s light in his loafers.
Saturday night the Packers are hosting a movie night at Lambeau Field and will show the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The reason they chose this movie was:
a. it\'s a story about overcoming adversity.
b. it\'s a family film that\'s sure to entertain parents and kids alike.
c. it\'s based on the life of Bears\' quarterback Jay Cutler.
Sheboygan officials are reportedly trying to finalize a deal to have a casino built in the city\'s South Pier District. Some are against the building of a casino in city because:
a. they believe gambling is a sin.
b. they fear it will attract an unsavory element.
c. they believe the last thing Sheboygan needs is more losers.
A man facing the death penalty for a double homicide in Utah wrote a letter to his local newspaper from jail this week complaining about the credibility of the testimony against him and requesting the newspaper editor put Garfield back on their comics page. The main reason he wanted the paper to start running Garfield is:
a. it\'s just damn funny.
b. he also hates Mondays and loves lasagna.
c. If convicted, Garfield is the last pussy he\'s ever going to see.