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aug 5th
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET SHUT DOWN BY THE APPLETON P.D.
OTHER THINGS APPLETON POLICE COULD BE DOING INSTEAD OF SHUTTING DOWN LITTLE GIRLS' LEMONADE STANDS. (Like they did this weekend!)

10. Bust kids who draw chalk hopscotch grids on sidewalk for illegal graffiti.

9. Keep an eye out for children singing, humming or whistling, making sure they’ve paid proper licensing fees for their performance of any copyrighted material.

8. Impose restraining order on children playing tag requiring them to stay at least 500 feet from kid who is "it".

7. Cite kids who don't wash hands immediately after picking their noses with municipal health code violations.

6. Bring assault with a deadly weapon charges against any children caught in the act of playing dodge ball.

5. Arrest kids playing cops and robbers for impersonating a police officer.

4. Call FBI to report four kids playing marbles for conspiracy to gamble.

3. Be on the look out for children who’ve violated city recycling statutes by using wastepaper to make airplanes.

2. Issue citations for practicing medicine without a license to any children found playing "doctor".

1. Charge children who step on cracks with assault for breaking their mothers' backs.