WHAT I’M GOING TO MISS ABOUT THE 2012 ELECTION SEASON
10. Watching Obama’s ears flap in the breeze during windy outdoor rallies.
9. All the exercise my thumb gets hitting the fast forward and mute buttons on my TV/DVR remote.
8. Not putting my clean dishes away just in case Paul Ryan drops by unannounced to rewash them.
7. Donald Trump proving you don’t have to work for America’s biggest fast-food burger chain to become the nation’s most famous clown.
6. Saving money on toilet paper thanks to stacks of campaign brochures piling up daily in my mailbox.
5. Never having to set my alarm clock because I know I’ll be awakened before long by a phone call from some pre-recorded douchebag.
4. Watching Mitt Romney periodically check his nose during debates to see if it’s growing.
3. Listening to the sound of Joe Biden’s cackling laugh and trying to decide if someone said something funny or if he’s just off his meds.
2. Picturing Tommy Thompson and Tammy Baldwin doing it as a way to induce vomiting after accidental poisonings.
1. Who am I kidding? Not a frickin’ thing!!!