WHY THE POPE SHOULD VISIT THE GREEN BAY AREA
10. He could share a ride on the Zippin’ Pippin with area religious figure like Aaron Rodgers.
9. He could help defeat the forces of evil and vanquish the satanic minions…when they come up from Chicago to play at Lambeau.
8. He could perform the world’s greatest miracle by creating a hat big enough to fit Tom Milbourn’s head.
7. Just as Jesus turned water into wine, could participate in sacred local tradition of turning beer into urine.
6. He could teach that St. Vince dude some manners by showing him you take the big post hole digger hat off when you’re sitting in front of people at the game.
5. If he can polish off the 93 ounce Gilbert Burger at Champion’s Sports Bar He gets a free autographed picture of former Packer Gilbert Brown.
4. Could get drivers on 41, 43, and 172 to use their directionals and drive the speed limit and that, my friends, would be a miracle.
3. He could try to heal the lame, and what could be more lame than the WIXX morning show.
2. Just as Jesus fed the multitudes with just a loaf of bread and a couple fish, He could try to feed everyone at Paul’s Pantry with just the meat from Brown County Supervisor Guy Zima’s pants.
1. Hey, somebody’s going to have to cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the new downtown Wal-Mart on Broadway.