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jun 3rd 2009

So, a few days ago I told you about the website Well, I've become obsessed with the above photo from the site. I know very little about the photo other than these people are REALLY excited to be having their photo taken with everyone's favorite celebrity murderer.

For a couple days, I had the picture set as the background wallpaper on the computer I use in the studio. However, I had to take it off because I couldn't stop staring at it. I want to know more about these people. From their facial expressions, I just get the feeling each and everyone of them has a story. I feel like I could write a novel and populate it with these people. Allow me to describe who I think these folks are.

I'd say the woman in the front, in the yellowish coat is a 3rd grade teacher at a parochial school. She likes to think that despite her job, she's a wild party chick. In reality, one Zima and she's out for the count.

I don't know anything about the guy with the beard, but he's needed back at the '60's mad scientist movie he wandered out of, pronto! I just hope those are his own sunglasses he's wearing, because if he's just in the process of returning them to O.J.'s ex-wife, they might as well start measuring him for a body bag now.

The woman with the curly hair, glasses and questionable dental work, closet to O.J., is a 61 year old retired hotel maid who has harbored a latent desire for a little "jungle love" since she sprouted her first pube and is using this, her first time close to a black man to "get a little of the strange". She may look like somebody's grandmother, but while everybody else is smiling because they are saying "cheese", she's smiling because, on the down low, she's grinding her inflamed lady parts against The Juice's built-in juice maker.

The guy in the cap, over O.J.'s left shoulder, isn't with the rest of these people. He was just going door to door to inform people that he's moved into their neighborhood, as the judge required, saw a crowd and wandered over to see if he could find any pre-pubescent boys with sweet tooths who could keep a secret.

The guy in the back wearing the Stetson-like hat is barely aware he's being photographed. He's too busy hoping to himself that people think the hat makes him look enough like Indiana Jones that they won't guess that he has a tiny penis.

The three guys in front of the hat guy, blue and yellow coat guy, Jim Carrey teeth guy and red shirt guy, just stumbled upon this scene when their Pride Parade took a wrong turn when someone got wind of a lube sale at the local Manhole Toy Emporium.

The girl in front of O.J., in a black coat with suspiciously perfect teeth is obviously a space alien. A pretty space alien. But a space alien, non-the-less. She and her saucer have just landed and she was dispatched to find a suitable subject for a good old fashioned anal probing. From the look on the face of the kid in front of her, she's found her man. Apparently, she gave him his first beer to make it hurt less.

I'm not sure what the deal is with the girl to anal boy's left, but despite her powder blue fleece jacket, I'm pretty sure she's really into leather. When you look at the photo it appears that she's looking right at you. Why? Because she is! And she's thinking about how much she'd like to make you eat a bug!

The girl on the extreme left of the photo, in light blue but out of focus is my favorite. I don't know what to say about her except I love her. Even blurry, she looks like she's sweet, personable, funny and a wild cat in the sack. Maybe it's just because most of the women I fall in love with look blurry, mainly because it usually only happens while I'm in an alcohol induced haze.

Finally, there's the guy to O.J.'s right, pointing at The Juice and making a face. He's just a douchebag.

Of course, these are all just my crazed impressions. As I say, I don't really know anything about these people but there's just something about this photo that makes me feel like I do. I'm sure they are, in reality, all fine, decent, upstanding folks. Well, fine, decent, upstanding folks who enjoy being photographed with a murderer! --Rick McNeal--
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 2nd 2009
See how many of these 100 rock riffs you can name. Amazing!

posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 2nd 2009

A man who has spent the last 15 years volunteering as a clown died this past week in Ohio leaving some big shoes to fill. According to his local newspaper, Beppo the Clown was accorded "the highest honor a clown can receive". He was “carried to his resting spot by his fellow clowns.” Nice!
Rick and Len Speculated what the rest of the funeral ceremony was like.

11:00am: The hearse arrives at the cemetery.

11:05am: Boppo’s closest friends and colleagues, all 137 of them, get out of the backseat.

11:15am: While admiring beautiful memorial flower arrangements, mourners are squirted in the eyes with water.

11:30am: Mourners learn that plans for a closed casket have been stymied by Boppo’s size 18 feet.

11:40am: A distant relative from “out west” is so grief stricken, he won’t even get out of his barrel.

11:45am: A woman with thick pancake make-up and garish red lipstick, who most assumed was the widow, informs people she’s not a clown, but rather a reporter covering the event for NBC26.

11:50am: It is pointed out that being a clown and being an NBC26 reporter are not mutually exclusive.

Noon: The minister delivers the eulogy, summing up Boppo’s life with quote from the Gospel according to Chuckles. “A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer in your pants”.

12:05pm: A woman who looks suspiciously like Mary Tyler Moore is escorted from the service in hysterics.

12:15pm: Relative from France is asked to speak. Instead, says nothing despite appearing to be trapped in a box.

12:30pm: Funeral concludes with 21 seltzer bottle salute.

12:45pm: All will depart cemetery for reception lunch of rubber chicken and cream pies which instead of being served on a plate will just been thrown directly into mourners faces.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 2nd 2009

If you still haven't seen Sascha Baron Cohen in his guise as gay fashionista Bruno land nuts first on Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards, check out the video below. Or just delight at the look on Em's face in these slow-motion screen captures.

posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post