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sep 27th
FYI: I didn't initially post this and, as a result, have heard from a number of people wondering why. One even speculated that it was because of a complaint from MPG. The fact of the matter is, I just wasn't happy with my writing. But, by popular demand(?), here it is, for what it's worth.



We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week…Metaldyne Performance Group who less than two weeks after purchasing Brillion Iron Works for $14 million dollars, decided to shut down the whole damn kit and caboodle, with over 300 workers losing their jobs.

So, for spending millions of dollars on a company that they were just going to close in two weeks…which is a business decision that, to me, makes about as much sense as fishnet Depends.

For giving a big F U to dedicated employees who work with Fe (the chemical element symbol for iron).

And for putting more people out of work than a basket of dildos at a brothel for women.

We are proud to name MPG Metaldyne Performance Group...the new owners (and closers) of Brillion Iron Works as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:20 am Comment On This Post

sep 27th



TOP TEN BIGGEST SURPRISES OF THE DEBATE

10. For the entire 90 minutes, Hillary was able to maintain human form.

9. Trump’s continuous sniffling conclusively proved it’s possible to be allergic to your own bull crap.

8. When Hillary smiled, her face did not shatter.

7. Despite there being little or no evidence of the fact, apparently moderator Lester Holt was in attendance for the entire debate.

6. Hillary was able to remain upright and speaking despite reportedly suffering from pneumonia, Parkinson’s, brain damage, syphilis, Mad Zombie Disease and a bad case of cooties.

5. Despite being coached by Roger Ailes, Donald at no point called Hillary “Honey”, “baby”, “Sweetie pie” or anything that rhymed with “grunt”.

4. The guy who called Ted Cruz’s wife ugly and accused Ted’s father of assassinating JFK got upset because that bad lady was mean to him.

3. Hillary expressed a concern about what would happen if Trump got his hands on the nuclear codes when she knows full well the codes are too big for such little hands.

2. Despite chuckling a number of times, Clinton's laugh did not actually summon a flock ravens.

1. There was no bloodshed.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:38 am Comment On This Post

sep 26th


PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE DRINKING GAME


Every time Donald mentions Mexico or Mexicans…drink a shot of tequila...and get your neighbor to pay for it.

If Hillary makes a reference to the size of Donald’s hands… drink two fingers of whiskey…four fingers if your hands are the size of Trump's.

Every time Hillary criticizes Donald not releasing his tax returns… drink 60 shots...one for each of her 60 confidential e-mails on unprotected servers.

Every time Donald Trump calls Hillary “crooked” … take a drink from both a pot and a kettle to see which one is black.

Every time Hillary mentions her campaign slogan "Stronger Together" mix gin and tequila because they too are stronger together...and will likely make you just as nauseous.

If Donald makes some reference to Bill Clinton’s cheating on Hillary…drink enough Trump Vodka to forget about Trump’s own well publicized infidelities.

If Bill Clinton’s former mistress, Gennifer Flowers, attends the debate (after Trump invited her this weekend)…drink a shot of something minty enough that you are no longer left with as bad a taste in your mouth as I’m sure Bill left in her's.

Every time Donald makes a reference to Hillary’s pneumonia do a shot of Dayquil…because it’s the only decongestant that’s just as orange as he is.

And when you hear the moderator Lester Holt say "Welcome to tonight's debate" do 3 or 4 shots of Nyquil and with any luck...you'll be sound asleep before either of the candidates says a freaking word.
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:22 am Comment On This Post

sep 23rd


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week… Gavin Gilbertson, of Cecil and Hailey Brock of Gillett. Gilbertson pleaded no contest this week in Oconto County Circuit Court to a felony count of placing a foreign substance into an edible. Brock was already found guilty of the same charge. Last October, the two allegedly squirted dry erase board cleaner into a teacher’s Mountain Dew at Gillett High School.

According to the criminal complaint, Brock told police she came up with the idea as a prank when the teacher was out of the room. Gilbertson reportedly opened the bottle and Brock squirted the cleanser in. After drinking the Dew, the teacher suffered a burning sensation in his throat and stomach and went to the school nurse who suspected he’d been poisoned and called 911.

So, for taking TWO people just to open a bottle and squirt making poisoning a teacher sound like a union job.

For using a foreign substance to make a teacher sick to their stomach when just showing them a picture of our governor would probably do the job for most teachers.

And for not only squirting a chemical into the teacher’s soda, but amazingly, finding one that wasn’t already in Mountain Dew.

We're are proud to name Gavin Gilbertson, of Cecil and Hailey Brock of Gillett as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:44 am Comment On This Post

sep 19th


September 9th City of Marshfield
Police received a report that a 32-year-old man entered a bank and demanded 42,000 gallons of water. The man then began to chase a bank teller and later demanded that the bank manager take off his shirt. When the manager did not take off his shirt, the man took his own shirt off and left the bank. Officers arrived and found the man in the middle of the street. He undressed until he was naked and yelled, “This feels good.”

September 12th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A grocery store owner called police to report a woman shoplifting cauliflower.

September 3rd City of Menasha
A Southfield Drive caller indicated she and her husband were involved in a disturbance with their neighbor. The caller's children often retrieve balls from the man's yard, which upsets him. Today, the caller thought the man confronted her child about this, which upset her. She confronted the neighbor, which led to a verbal argument where the neighbor was calling the woman and her husband names and then pushed the husband. As a result, the neighbor threatened to throw stain in the caller's pool.

September 12th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported a person walking and jumping in traffic. (Seriously, what kind of idiot does that?) The person was only described as "wearing a Chicago Bears shirt". (Oh.)

August 30th City of Greenfield Someone at the senior center called police to report the theft of bingo prizes including water guns and toilet paper.

September 3rd City of Waukesha
An argument between a male and a female over dead musicians inside an apartment apparently got so heated a caller reported the incident as a physical fight. A responding officer found everything was all right when he arrived but said the argument over who was better “Biggie" or "Tupac" continued.

September 15th Wood County
Police investigated a report that somebody's been illegally dumping their pig carcasses.

September 4th City of Menasha
Police were dispatched for a report of an out of control male threatening to break a coffee pot over his own head.

September 10th Village of Richfield
The Washington County Sheriff’s Office responded to a report of a male subject standing next to a black Chevy Silverado with no pants on. However, the pantsless suspect was gone upon the squad’s arrival.

August 31st City of Waukesha
A woman returned from vacation to find two strangers sitting in her living room. A police report said the woman did not know how the strangers entered her home, but nothing appeared to be missing. The strangers claimed they were guests of the caller's friend, who lived at the house for a short time 10 years ago and might have been staying there without permission while the homeowner was on vacation.

September 1st City of Waukesha
Police advised a man on his behavior after the man admitted he had gone into his former girlfriend's house carried out a toilet and smashed it in the street in front of the home.

September 2nd City of Grafton
A 24-year-old Grafton woman was cited for OWI and disorderly conduct after she backed into a tree. As police arrived, the woman, who was naked from the waist down, got out of the car, touched herself indecently and refused to follow police instructions.

September 9th City of Mayville
A 21-year-old woman, upset that her mother had been terminated from the store, entered Old Fashioned Foods and began yelling, screaming, slamming doors, and calling employees derogatory names. The woman eventually fled the scene, taking with her, a box of crackers and some beef jerky.

September 10th City of Mayville
Between 1 and 2 AM, and unknown person entered Old-Fashioned Foods, tipped over display shelves, knocked merchandise onto the floor and ransacked the office before fleeing the store with a stolen birdhouse and teddy bear.

September 14th Dane County
A woman entered a busy sushi restaurant and yelled out that there was a bomb about to explode. The suspect began counting down from 10, and ordered people to "get on the ground, on your hands and knees." She loudly announced:" It's going to blow up!" The manager told the woman to leave, but she refused and police were called. The suspect struggled with officers and was taken to jail. There was no bomb and nothing exploded.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:27 am Comment On This Post

sep 14th


The website Thrillist.com has ranked all 31 NFL cities. Not based on their teams' performances or their stadiums or anything like that. No. They ranked them on just what they believe each city has to offer. And their take was...Green Bay is the 31st best city in the NFL (out of 31). Granted, we may not have the amazing year round weather of San Diego (#1) or the legendary combo of nightlife and cuisine of New Orleans (#2) but 31st? Give me a break! We have plenty to offer! For instance....

Green Bay is the only NFL city that has an Air B&B property that can accommodate up to 28 people all inside one of Tom Milbourn’s old hats.

Green Bay is the only NFL city that has unique tourist attractions like the area where they almost put a Wal-Mart, that place Vince Lombardi once took a dump, and the site of the mayor’s future jail cell.

(Speaking of which) Green Bay is the only NFL city with a Mayor as crooked as Larry McCarren's pinkies.

Green Bay is the only NFL city with its very own evil clown…of course, that’s not counting New England’s Bill Belichick.

Green Bay is the only NFL city where art lovers can skip going to large, sterile museums and just wait for that guy across from Lambeau to slap some paint on his fence.

Green Bay is the only NFL city where you can go to Seroogy’s for chips that are dipped, to the Oval Office to see a nip that is stripped and to Bay Beach to get your Pippin' Zipped!!!! 

So there!!!!!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:50 am Comment On This Post

sep 12th


August 29th City of Menasha
While on patrol, officers noticed patrons by Jitters Bar engaged in an argument about where cashews come from. The patrons, who were intoxicated, stated that there was no physical contact between them, only a spirited argument about cashews.

August 26th City of Waukesha
A woman apparently mistakenly thought that a hat and a fur coat hanging on a rack was a stranger in her home and reported a break-in. When police arrived they found no evidence of forced entry and none of the woman's property was missing. Officers observed the hat and coat and the woman later confirmed those were the items she initially thought were a burglar.

August 26th City of Waukesha
A woman reportedly caused some flooding in the homes of residents living below her after she broke her toilet by falling into it while attempting to use the bathroom at an apartment complex. A police report said the back half of the toilet broke off and "caused water to flow uncontrollably" down multiple floors of the building. The woman who fell was disabled but she and her live-in boyfriend apparently did nothing to halt the water flow. When police arrived, they were watching TV, as the water level in the apartment rose.

August 21st Village of Menominee Falls
An employee at Pet World called police and reported that a customer walked out of the store with a big snake in his pants.

August 17th Village of Omro
Authorities were dispatched to a Hawthorne Drive location to mediate an ongoing dispute between a homeowner and a fisherman. The homeowner was pointing a toy gun at the fisherman. From his boat, the fisherman couldn't tell that the gun was a toy and called police. When police determined that the gun was a toy the fisherman decided not to press charges.

August 31st City of Menasha
Police responded to a report of a theft from a resident on Railroad Street. The resident told responding officers that someone stole a cow statue from her rose garden. The resident described the statue as a black and white cement cow, with the word "GO" written on its side.

September 5th City of Marshfield
A woman called police to report finding a marijuana pipe while sorting her husband's clothes. Police contacted the husband who admitted the marijuana pipe was his. Police are recommending charges be brought against the husband.

September 4th Dane County
An 83-year-old woman had just finished shopping when a 26-year-old woman came up from behind. The stranger punched the 83-year-old woman in the head and grabbed a hold of her purse strap. The 83-year-old woman punched the 26-year-old woman in the face and grappled with her until several people came to her aid, chasing the criminal away. The 83-year-old woman maintained possession of her purse.

August 27th Village of Jackson
An officer was dispatched to the Comfort Inn to meet with a 55-year-old who said that his wife and adult stepdaughter had visited a Peruvian resort where they were given an herbal brew that may have contained a psychedelic compound. The man told officers that the two women are now into Satan and believes his wife is “infecting” him with the devil and attempting to poison him with the Peruvian concoction. After the women returned from their trip they convinced him to go to the same resort and consume the same herbal brew after which, he said, people would come into his room at night flashing lights in his eyes and he saw devils and witches dancing. He then became increasingly agitated and needed to escape and eventually made his way back to his home where he burned his luggage and almost everything associated with his trip to Peru. The man said he then sought help from priests at Holy Hill. He then told his wife that he doesn’t feel safe at home and suggested the two of them seek refuge at the Comfort Inn. The man didn’t receive the solace that he had hoped for because he began getting agitated again and believed that his wife was engaging in satanic rituals and was spiking his cigarettes and tea with the Peruvian herb. The officers were given permission to search the room, including the cigarettes, and nothing suspicious was located.

August 30th City of Waukesha
A man apparently injured himself when he got angry while trying to buy cigarettes a local Walgreens pharmacy and shattered a jar of pennies he brought into Walgreens to pay for a pack of smokes. In the process, the man cut himself on glass from the broken jar and was bleeding in the store. Police were unable find the man, and Walgreens management didn't make a formal complaint.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:48 am Comment On This Post

sep 12th


PUNISHIMENTS FOR MAYOR JIM SCHMITT

10. Lifelong suspension from the Lollypop Guild.

9. Bring tasty snacks to work each day but always put them on a high shelf.

8. Force him to resign from mayor’s office and return to his old job, chasing after the kids who stole his Lucky Charms.

7. Browbeat him by literally beating him with his own enormous eyebrows.

6. Take him down to the ole hollow tree behind the Keebler office and let Ernie and the boys administer some old fashioned elf justice.

5. Remove all the Garanimal tags off his clothing so he can no longer dress himself.

4. Sentence him 5 years to standing directly behind a tall, flatulent man.

3. No more off-o-work-you-go kisses from Snow White, no matter how High the Ho might be.

2. Forcibly shave his eyebrows and use the hair to make fur coats for baboons going through chemo.

1. Put one of those "You must me at least this tall" signs on his wife.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:02 am Comment On This Post

sep 9th
This week’s weenies did the near impossible…they bested Mayor Jim Schmitt for this honor despite him getting busted for accepting illegal campaign donations and falsifying information on his campaign finance reports and amazingly, they did it with a story that is damn near as horrifying as his eyebrows.


Laabs not pictured



We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week… Jonathan Schrap, Shelby Neuens, Nick Laabs, Preston “Bloody Ruckus” Hyde and the so-called “Juggalo’s” from Suamico who reportedly staged their own “ritualistic memorial” to commemorate a fellow fan of the horror core hip-hop act the Insane Clown Possee who died one year prior.

For those still unfamiliar with the story…

Saturday morning the group was discussing blood-letting rituals when Neuens reportedly volunteered to let Schrap drink her blood leading to him using a machete and make an approximate one-inch laceration on her right forearm. While Neuens was bleeding profusely… he filled up a shot glass with her blood and drank it.

Soon after, the group began talking about severing a finger. Again, Neuens volunteered, telling the men they could cut off her pinky. Once again, Schrap grabbed the machete and took the pinky clean off all the way to the palm.” Schrap according to the criminal complaint, then “placed the finger in his freezer where he said he would cook it and eat it later”.

The group then attempted to stop the bleeding by using a car cigarette lighter which failed so they used a blowtorch

So,

For placing the pinky in the freezer to eat later when everyone knows, lady fingers are best served fresh.

For apparently totally misunderstanding what it means for a woman to "give a guy her digits".

And for contradicting the Animaniacs by proving that pinkies and brains don’t always go together.



We are proud to name Jonathan Schrap, Nick Laabs, Preston “Bloody Ruckus” Hyde and the remarkably compliant Shelby Neuens; the reported blood drinking, hand chopping, blowtorch wielding, finger saving Juggalos of Suamico, as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIES OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:57 am Comment On This Post

sep 6th


August 14th City of Chilton
A caller on Court Street told police they thought someone was shooting at Sandhill cranes behind their house. Police made contact with the suspect who said he was only shooting at cucumbers, not at cranes.

August 16th City of Neenah
A mail carrier reported seeing a cat inside a parked car on Clairmont Court with no windows open. An officer spoke with the registered owner of the vehicle who informed him that the cat…is fake.

August 21st City of Neenah A caller on East Forest Avenue called police to report that someone entered their vehicle during the night and took a homemade pillow.

August 24th City of Waukesha
A woman called police because she was reportedly worried that while he was "tripping on acid", an unidentified man had stolen some of her personal belongings, then told her he was going to make a voodoo doll of her and burn it.

August 14th City of Glendale
A 79-year-old man demanded authorities move a barricade and allow him to drive his vehicle onto the parade route during the Village Days Parade. The suspect honked his horn multiple times; became loud and boisterous; called an auxiliary police officer a derogatory name; and accused the village of “imprisoning” him for not allowing him to drive around the barricades and onto the parade route. The man was taken into custody and cited for disorderly conduct and unnecessary use of a horn.

August 27th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of a man dressed all in black and wearing a clown mask driving recklessly on a moped. Responding officers searched the area but did not find any clowns driving mopeds.

August 24th City of Oak Creek
A man was taken into custody and cited for disorderly conduct for yelling and throwing things at passing vehicles while standing in the middle of the roadway with a shopping cart full of beer.

August 28th City of Franklin
A 46-year-old woman who was found lying in the roadway threatened to kill several witnesses. When asked why she was lying in the roadway, the woman told police she was “trying to work things out with God.”

August 28th City of Oconomowoc
Police were called to the scene of a domestic disturbance. The disturbance began when a 21-year-old man returned home and learned his father had thrown away his bong.

August 24th Village of Pewaukee
A woman called police to report that she was talking to the neighbor man, which his wife didn't like, so the neighbor woman hit her with a pumpkin.

August 29th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called the police to report she was having ongoing problems with her sister's cat.

August 24th 2:00am City of Antigo
Officers responded to a 911 call reporting that a female subject had fallen off a railing. When officers arrived, they found the female, who was apparently intoxicated, had squatted down to urinate over the railing of the stairwell but fell backwards and landed on her head. The woman was transported to the hospital.

August 24th 3:21am City of Antigo
Officers responded to a call from the emergency room at the hospital asking for assistance with the woman who had fallen off the railing while urinating and was now quite agitated and causing a disturbance.

August 26th City of Racine
A 35-year-old man was in court for a July 28th burglary of a liquor store. The man reportedly made off with the cash register, valued at $1000, and its contents believed to be about $300 cash. In the process, the man's likeness was captured on the security camera AND he left behind a T-shirt with his name on it. Using the name on the T-shirt, police were able to match a photo on file to the individual seen on store surveillance video and arrested him.

July 16th City of Verona
Police and sheriff's deputies responded to a rollover crash involving a 25-year-old man. The man was uninjured, and evidence at the scene he indicated that a combination of alcohol and Pokémon GO were a factor.

July 24th City of Verona
A man called police and reported seeing a turtle in a parking lot “running at large”. An officer was able to capture the "running" turtle and released it in a pond.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:44 am Comment On This Post

sep 2nd


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…29-year-old Terrence Schroeder of Oshkosh who was in court this week facing charges relating to a bomb scare at Wal-Mart back in July. According to police, Schroeder’s debit card was declined at the check-out and had to take money from the ATM to pay for his purchases. After paying, Schroeder allegedly told the clerk “he thought there was a bomb in the back of the store”. Officers were able to identify and locate Schroeder through his debit card number.

According to police, when they confronted him, Schroeder admitted that he thought he could “close down the store and cause chaos” with his comment. He told officers he was frustrated that his card wasn't working and wanted to “frustrate the cashier” as well.

So,

For not realizing that “trying to cause chaos” in a Wal-Mart is like trying to make water wetter.

For thinking the threat of a bomb could keep Wal-Mart shoppers away from deep discounts on white tank t-shirts and five gallon drums of cheesy puffs.

And for reportedly using a bomb threat to try to “frustrate the cashier” at Wal-Mart when asking for change for dollar probably would have worked just as well.

We are proud to name Terrence Schroeder of Oshkosh as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:19 am Comment On This Post

aug 29th


August 20th City of Greenfield
Police were called to a home where a resident reported having a fight with his mother over a frozen pizza. Police discovered the caller and his elderly mother were arguing about who purchased the Tony’s Frozen Supreme pizza she just made. Police spoke with both residents and the mother agreed to go out and buy another Tony’s Supreme pizza for her son.

August 17th City of Waukesha
Officers were dispatched to a home in response to a call from a woman, who said her neighbor's spirit "crawled through her window to throw an evil mind thought at her." According to the police report, officers told the woman that she could better prevent "evil spirits" from entering her home by reinforcing her windows.

August 16th City of Antigo
Police were called to the scene where a woman was yelling obscenities at a girl bouncing on a trampoline.

August 8th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported a man came out of the woods, sat on a swing at Sandlot Park and began hitting himself.

August 14th City of Brown Deer
Police were called to a home by a resident who reported seeing a naked man in his backyard taking photographs of his plants.

August 24th Village of Nekoosa
Police were called to the scene where a woman who did not want neighborhood children riding their bikes on her property was threatening to rip their tongues out.

August 15th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of a man who was walking in and out of traffic. An officer spoke to the man who stated he was just walking that way to keep his pants up, which he said he fell down anytime he walked in a straight line.

August 19th City of Waukesha
Police were called a residence where a man allegedly broke his grandmother's stove top and television. The man it's already facing charges for an incident last fall when he was accused of stealing three vehicles, causing thousands of dollars in property damage and leading police on an hours-long manhunt. At that time, the man told police he did it because he thought he was God and was playing Grand Theft Auto.

July 26th City of Greenfield
Police were called to McDonald's where a woman who was apparently upset because her sandwich was made incorrectly, responded by yelling obscenities at the employees and knocking all the cookies on the floor.

August 18th City of Antigo
Officers responded to a report of a used feminine hygiene product and a quarter left on a car's windshield. Police say there have no suspects at this time.

August 13th City of Glendale
Police were called to Pick 'n' Save where a 23-year-old woman became upset when a store employee asked her to stop smoking her cigar right outside the store entrance. The woman responded by yelling at the store employee and then went to the deli department where she began screaming.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:26 am Comment On This Post

aug 26th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…Dakota D.S. Piper, of Menasha who this week was sentenced to four years in prison and five years of extended supervision. Piper was arrested on drug related charges last November but then allegedly compounded his legal problems by trying to escape.

Piper’s escape plot reportedly involved faking a seizure at the Winnebago County jail so he was taken to a local hospital where he intentionally pooped and peed himself and then, when in the restroom cleaning himself, climbed up into the ceiling tiles and tried crawling through the hanging ceiling, which, of course only works in movies.

In the process, Piper broke many ceiling tiles and metal support beams that hold the tiles in place. He eventually agreed to come down but only if police brought his girlfriend to him so he could give her "a hug and a kiss and possibly have a cigarette". A lieutenant then reportedly called Piper's girlfriend and put her on speakerphone. When the girlfriend asked Piper what he was doing, he replied "trying to escape."

So,

For coming up with a plan about as half baked as the Pillsbury Doughboy's ass after an hour in the sun.

For wanting a "hug and a kiss" from his girlfriend when he'll have ample of time to get plenty of that from his cellmate.

For not realizing that if a great escape involves peeing and pooping yourself...I'm Steve McQueen!

We are proud to name Dakota D.S. Piper as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 9:56 am Comment On This Post

aug 24th


A new study showed that the radio is the 2nd most comforting sound for Americans, right behind birds chirping. WAPL may be a lot of things, but we never before thought of it as "comforting" until now. Here's the...

MOST COMFORTING THINGS ABOUT LISTENING TO WAPL

10. Hearing Ross Maxwell shout at and deride people makes you realize your mother-in-law could actually be worse.

9. Every time John on the Road Show talks about something he "saw", you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that if he hasn't gone blind yet, what your mother told you about doing that thing couldn't possibly be true.

8. You don’t get worked up by talk of the Zika virus knowing that no mosquito could be as dangerous as the bug that is safely and permanently contained up Len’s ass.

7. You can rest assured you never have to worry about embarrassing yourself by not knowing the correct pronunciation of “plantar fasciitis”.

6. Listening to Roxanne’s voice helps you relax knowing you’re saving $3.99 a minute not counting the slight uptick it causes in your Kleenex budget.

5. You can feel reassured knowing that if you ever run afoul of the mob, the FBI will find a new identity and safe place for you just like they did for Tim “the hit man” Hart, or as he used to be known, Vinnie “the hit man” Gamberino, formerly of Teaneck, New Jersey.

4. Only a mad man would not feel comforted by hearing “Wooo” 20 or 30 times a day.

3. If you are a parent of a teen that you’re convinced never will amount to anything, the Road Show is comforting proof they could still find a job that doesn’t involve cleaning up poop or washing some rich guy’s balls.

2. You take comfort in knowing your virility isn't in question because for some reason, every time you hear Elwood on the New Male Medical ad you get the weirdest boner.

1. Whenever you hear Rick’s voice broadcasting from the WAPL studio you can rest assured he’s at leady not hanging around outside your kid’s elementary school or playground.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:33 am Comment On This Post

aug 23rd


August 2nd City of Neenah
A North Park Avenue caller informed police that a large group of people were trespassing in her yard playing Pokémon Go. The caller told the dispatcher that she had turned her sprinkler on to get them off her property.

August 5th City of Brookfield
A resident reported that sometime before 4am on August 5th someone came into her yard and cut the cord on her Christmas lights.

August 9th City of Oak Creek
Police went to Kohl’s in response to a report of a white male in his 50s wearing sunglasses, white shorts, no shirt, and a blue baseball cap who was hiding in the bushes behind the store and clucking like a chicken.

August 7th Dane County
Police were called to a sports bar where witnesses say a man who was shooting pool had been loudly yelling Donald Trump's name as he voiced support for the candidate. Another man responded by also uttering Trump's name, but according to the police report, he used a word that "rhymes with truck" in front of the candidates name. This caused the first man to lift his Hawaiian shirt, exposing a handgun that was tucked in the waistband of his khaki shorts.

August 15th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to Fountain Park where a woman who had been sitting in the middle of the road in her pajamas was now bathing in the fountain.

August 4th City of Menasha
Officers responded to a report of a male and female physically fighting in a parking lot on Midway Road. Upon arrival, officers spoke to the parties who denied having a physical fight, but confirmed they were arguing over Papa Murphy's being closed.

August 12th City of Sheboygan
Police told a woman who was allegedly causing a disturbance at McDonald's to leave and she would be cited or arrested if she returned. The woman told police she doesn't think it works that way.

July 19th City of Greenfield
A man walked into an auto repair shop, stood very close to the register and wouldn’t speak to employees, then screamed “cigarettes!” and walked out. Police found the man sitting across the street waiting for a bus. The man did not speak English, and did not have an explanation for yelling "cigarettes!".

August 9th Village of Germantown
Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot for a report that two males and two females were crawling around in front of patrons’ vehicles and harassing them about praying. Police located the praying suspects and they agreed to leave the parking lot and pray someplace else.

August 17th City of Madison
An officer on foot spotted an SUV being driven fast on State Street where regular traffic is not allowed. The officer jumped into her squad and pulled the driver over. According to police, when instructed to get out of the car, the 42-year-old female driver instead just cracked open a fresh can of beer and began drinking.

August 6th City of Chilton
Police were called to break up a disturbance involving two occupants at a nursing home physically fighting in wheelchairs. Police gave both occupants a lecture bout respecting each other as they live in such a confined space.

July 27th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a bar after an employee reported a woman struck another woman in the head with a martini glass. The women allegedly started arguing after one of them yelled at the other’s child for touching the shuffleboard table while they were using it.

August 5th City of Marshfield
Officers responding to the scene of a domestic disturbance determined a woman had become upset when her boyfriend accidentally called her by his ex-girlfriend's name. The man was trying to calm the woman down and, during the "conversation", the residence's door was broken. Police took the man to a different location to spend the night.

August 7th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to assist after a man on 20th Street who needed his colostomy bag changed became combative.

August 6th City of Sheboygan
Police were dispatched to the old Brat Days parade route to inform people waiting for the Brat Days parade that it would not be coming their way and if they wanted to see the Brat Days parade they should move to the new Brat Days parade route.

August 7th City of Neenah
A caller told police that for the last day a gas can has been sitting next to the stop sign at the intersection of Third Street and East Forest Avenue. An investigation by police revealed that the gas can was empty, and that the owner had put it out by the curb for free for whomever wanted it. The officer suggested attaching a sign that read "free gas can".

August 15th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report her 92-year-old mother's neighbor walks around her property with a baseball bat and asks people if they keep their money in a cookie jar.

August 8th City of Waukesha
Police were called to a city park where a man was upsetting other park goers by repeatedly screaming at them that he was "fishing for snapping turtles".
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:07 pm Comment On This Post

aug 22nd
Listening to stories of Len's big family vacation has caused my mind to flood with memories of a similar trip my family took when I was a child. Here's the account of that trip I wrote for a publication several years ago. -Rick-



THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

It was the summer of my seventh year. The previous September many of my classmates had returned to school with stories of their Griswald-ian sojourns in faux wood-paneled station wagons to exciting and faraway places. The Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, the home of an uncle in Santa Fe who would give shiny quarters to nephews that let him do magic tricks inside their underpants!

Emboldened by my friends’ travel tales, I asked mom and dad to take me on vacation. When asking didn’t work, I pleaded, I cajoled, I begged with the tenacity and desperation usually only seen from Tommy Thompson trying to get one more Jameson on-the-rocks after last-call. Finally, they caved.

So it was in August of 1966, mom, dad, and I left idyllic Menasha, Wisconsin and set off in search of America.

Our trek did not take us to historic Route 66, bisecting this great nation from Missouri to the Pacific Ocean. Nor did our excursion lead us to California’s scenic Highway 1, with its hairpin turns and breathtaking vistas. No, our journey took place on the equally historic and no less scenic Highway 47!

Leaving the city of Menasha, we soon rolled through, well, the Town of Menasha. I marveled at the passing scenery. The old Goodwill Store, the putt-putt golf course, Valley Fair Mall. When PBS Travel guru Rick Steves says, “Travel is intensified living” this is clearly what he’s talking about.

Before I knew it, Highway 47 turned into the tree-lined boulevard that is Memorial Drive and I swelled with excitement as we passed over the magnificent span of the Memorial Drive Bridge. On that hot, humid day in the pre-environmentally friendly ‘60’s, I was awed by the sight of the many smoke belching factories in Appleton’s industrial “flats” and inhaled the fragrant bouquet of the Fox River, a smell that would not have been unfamiliar to a third-world gynecologist.

Having traversed the Fox, we headed for College Avenue where we turned left, over the viaduct into Grand Chute and on to The Strip, baby! There, we pulled into our final destination--Biggar’s Best Western Motel.

Grand Chute in 1966 was not nearly the exotic vacation paradise that it is today. Yet, Biggars’ Best Western was a swanky place. Among its amenities were “powder rooms”, “combination tub and showers” and “telephones...IN THE ROOM”. If Louie the XIV had lived in the 1960’s, this would have been his Versailles.

For the next eight days, we would live among the Grand Chute residents. Observe their customs. Eat their local delicacies. And participate in their indigenous activities.

Most of my days were spent swimming in Biggars’ indoor, heated pool until I was so wrinkled I looked like I could be Larry King's ball sack. After swimming, it was on to the “41 Bowl” where my ball spent more time in the gutter than Nick Nolte on a four day bender.

After all that fun I was hungry enough to eat a horse, which given the dubious taste of the meat in some of the restaurants we patronized, was more than a little ironic.

However, we ate most of our meals at the Marcs’ Big Boy, conveniently located right next door. It was at the Big Boy that I came to realize just how different the exotic cuisine of Grand Chute was from the food I was used to eating back home.

I ordered a “Big Boy Burger” thinking it would be just a regular hamburger. Oh, how wrong I was. When the waitress delivered it to our table, I could scarcely believe my eyes. It was not just a patty between two halves of a bun. It was TWO patties and the bun had not only a top and bottom but a MIDDLE as well. Most confusing of all, the pickles and tomato slice were not inside, but rather, perched atop the bun like a colorful party hat and held in place with a decorative toothpick. It all made Menasha seem so very far away.

Between the swimming, bowling, gourmet dining and occasional forays across The Strip to Treasure Island (not the casino, the discount department store with the “squiggly” roof and crappy merchandise) the eight days flew by and soon I was heading home.

I returned to Menasha a changed seven year old. I was imbued with a deeper understanding of the diversity of the human experience and filled with a full-blown desire to see even more of the world. This year Grand Chute. Next year, who knows? Maybe Ashwaubenon! After that first trip, the world was my oyster and anything seemed possible!

(The next year we did, in fact, vacation in Ashwaubenon.)
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:19 pm Comment On This Post

aug 5th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…. whomever went to mad lengths at a local yacht manufacturer to prevent their listeners from listening to the Rick and Len Show. Back in March, we told you about how after a complaint from an employee, the yacht manufacturer not only banned the Rick and Len Show from their work place, they placed the following announcement in their newsletter, “Notice: The radio station, WAPL will no longer be played in the morning between 6 and 10am when Rick and Len are on due to offensive and inappropriate commentary”. 

Well, this week, we got word that the company took it a step further. After somebody had the audacity of switching the radio station to WAPL BEFORE 10 one recent morning, the company got serious and procured a “lock box” they could use the keep their radio securely locked away until 10am each day to prevent that from ever happening again.

So,

For punishing the innocent radio when, clearly, it’s our lips that need to be locked up tighter than a nun’s love tunnel. And for not heeding the words of Mel Gibson who famously said..."You can take our lives radios, but you can never take our freedom!"

For not realizing that you don't need to lock up a radio to stop your employees from listening to the Rick and Len Show. All you need to do, is let them tune in and eventually they'll gouge their ear drums out on their own.

  We are proud to the name whomever put the radio under lock and key at a local yacht manufactures to keep their workers from listening to US as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:34 am Comment On This Post

aug 3rd


If you've not yet attended Mile of Music in Appleton and wonder why music lovers you know find it to be such a wonderful and special experience, here's some observations I jotted down the day after last year's Mile. -Rick-


Those who still haven't attended MoM probably don't get what the fuss is. "It's just a bunch of bands", I've heard some say. But it really is much more than that. I remember reading an interview 20 some years ago in Rolling Stone magazine with singer-songwriter Lucinda Williams. They asked her what her favorite city was, and she said "New Orleans. Because the streets are f**king electric".

For four days, during MoM, the streets of Appleton become f**king electric! From the second I arrived on the Spatio at Spatz early Thursday afternoon, I could feel the pulse and hum of something special in the air. You could almost hear the electricity pop and crackle around you. It was the same at MoM's 1 & 2. Where does it come from? I have my guesses.

I think it comes in part from most of the shows being free. There is a giddy sense of anticipation that comes with knowing you are going see a band with whom you're completely unfamiliar and may walk out with a new favorite. Because the shows are free, there is no financial risk to keep you from taking a chance on an act you've never heard of, described in the MoM schedule as "freak folk", or "groung" only to learn that you are apparently a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" What's more, if it turns out you're NOT a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" there is nothing to complain about because IT DIDN’T COST YOU ANYTHING. MoM gives you freedom to experiment and explore.

The electric vibe is also generated by so many people coming together, from ages 8 to 80, while sharing in an artistic experience and realizing that no matter how different we may be, we are meeting on common ground. Every day, we all find ourselves in situations where we are standing around awkwardly with people we don't know. But suddenly, at MoM, we find ourselves standing next to strangers with a shared experience we not only WANT to talk about, WE CAN'T HELP BUT TALK ABOUT. "Wasn't Alanna Royale wonderful?" "How were Nobel Theifs". "Did you see The Diamond Light? Were they great?" "What were Ghost Wolves like?" "Is Walt Hamburger really just as dreamy in person?"

In an increasingly polarized world, MoM remains a place where others are actually interested in hearing our opinions and, even more amazingly, we are interested in hearing theirs. The notion that music brings us together isn't exactly new, but it's not every day you see it happen so beautifully and forcefully right before your eyes as you do virtually every minute at MoM.

And finally, the electricity comes from so many hard-working, talented musicians reaching a large and very, very appreciative new audience with their own tunes. The vast majority of musicians at Mile of Music are in their 20s and 30s and while quite accomplished, are still finding their way. The positive reinforcement that they receive from the throngs of people at MoM, FOR PLAYING THEIR OWN, ORIGINAL MUSIC is for them a soothing tonic to any night they spent playing covers for small groups of yammering, drunken stooges who would be happier listening to the latest over-produced pop pablum.

What's more, while together at MoM, these musicians have 4 days to get to know each other, to make new friends, to see each other perform, and to let their musical ideas cross-pollinate in ways that can take them to new places and to even greater heights as artists. Bands from Austin can get new ideas from bands from Nashville. Musicians from Indiana can be inspired by musicians from Canada. Songwriters from California can glean new ideas from songwriters from Ohio. And our ever-growing contingent of AMAZING local talent can see what the rest of the world is doing and show the rest of the world what we are doing here.

So ground yourself. Just one day until the electricity returns!
posted by: Rick And Len at 4:57 am Comment On This Post

aug 2nd


REASONS WHY AN EVIL CLOWN IS WANDERING AROUND GREEN BAY

10. Just swapping make-up tips with Tom Zalaski.

9. Seeing as it’s been 8 months since the Packer-Bear debacle at Lambeau, figured local residents could use a fresh dose of nightmare fuel.

8. He’s trying to prove there actually is something in the world scarier than Mayor Schmitt’s eyebrows.

7. Demonstrating to local residents that not all evil clowns have orange hair and tiny hands.

6. If this summer’s malfunction didn’t make the Zippin Pippin seem even scarier, try riding it while sitting next to an embittered cast-off from season 6 of American Horror Story.

5. Heading over to Seroogy's for quality candy to stock his windowless panel van.

4. Needs to fill his balloons and knows there's no better source of hot air than Guy Zima.

3. In town to attend funeral of 43 other clowns killed in a recent one-car accident.

2. Staring in a Let Me Be Frank Productions musical version of Stephen King's It.

1. He’s probably doing the same thing most evil clowns do in Green Bay, running for city council.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

jul 29th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…18-year-old Evgeniy Tetzlaff of Kimberly who allegedly used an "air soft BB-style firearm" to shoot a 9-year-old boy operating a lemonade stand in the face in a random drive-by. The boy was taken to a hospital to remove the BB embedded in his skin near his eye. Tetzlaff reportedly laughed about the incident later when telling friends about how he had randomly shot the 9-year old boy.

So,

For allegedly almost shooting out a 9-year-old boy’s eye while ironically being totally blind to his own stupidity.

For apparently proving you can make national headlines about lemonade without even having to cheat on Beyonce.

And for apparently thinking that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade but when life gives you an air soft BB-style firearm, you use it to shoot the kid who made the lemonade in the face.

We are proud to name Evgeniy Tetzlaff, the 18 year old Kimberly man accused of shooting a 9 year old kid operating a lemonade stand... as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:07 am Comment On This Post