February 17th Village of Wittenberg
Sheriff’s deputies responded to a call from a woman on Eland Avenue. The caller told the dispatcher she was trapped in her house because there was a large raccoon frozen to her sidewalk in a puddle of its own urine right at the foot of her stairs. A deputy responded to the home where he used a large bowl of warm water to thaw the puddle of frozen urine freeing the raccoon who then ambled off under his own power.
January 11th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a call from the employee of the Community Library reporting a 51-year-old man was bathing in the restroom. The responding officer spoke to the man who explained he was just cleaning up after pooping his pants.
March 23rd Dane County
Police were called to a 30th birthday party after a the party's organizer allegedly punched the DJ, and destroyed his equipment because she did not like his song selections. The bloodied DJ wasn't sure what he had played to made her so upset. The woman fled the party with an uncut birthday cake before police arrived and remains at large.
April 21st City of Shawano
Police responded to an incident involving two parked cars at Hillcrest School. The wind caught the door of one of the cars blowing it open and dinging the other car. The driver of the dinged door car was reportedly very upset. When police arrived, they issued to citations to both drivers since they were both illegally parked in handicapped spots.
April 29th City of Chilton
A caller reported a "bloody man" was walking around a store on East Chestnut Street. The man told responding officers, "This is what happens when you help your kids".
May 3rd City of Cudahy
A 50-year-old man was arrested for violating terms of his probation by visiting his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. The man said he knew he was violating the probation terms by visiting her, but told police “the woman is crazy and the sex is amazing.”
May 9th City of Greenfield
A 911 caller reported two elderly females were arguing with staff at the American Legion Post after they were allegedly caught cheating at bingo. The women then reportedly went outside and started yelling and banging on the windows. Police were unable to locate the elderly bingo cheaters but confirmed they were last seen traveling eastbound in a silver Ford Expedition.
May 15th City of Waukesha
A woman called police to report she was slapped in the back of the head by a male co-worker. The accused assailant admitted his actions to police but told them he only slapped the coworker in the back of the head because his manager told him if he did so she would give him a dollar.
June 10th City of Waukesha
A woman called police and claimed her boyfriend stole $350 million from her. She also told police he forced a cat to lick him all night long because he is a sex addict.
June 28th City of Appleton
Police arrested a 52-year-old man they believe is responsible for damage and vandalism to numerous air-conditioners in Appleton, Menasha and probably Neenah. The man allegedly spent recent nights riding his bicycle around the area and randomly ripping the control switches out of the air conditioning units. The man reportedly told officers he committed the acts because he just doesn't like air-conditioners.
July 13th City of Franklin
A 33-year-old man called police to report a man called him a "pervert" and pulled a gun on him. The caller himself was arrested after police determined the reason the other man called him a pervert and pulled a gun on him is the man had caught the caller in the act of peeping in his windows.
July 8th City of Oak Creek
A driver flagged down a police officer and reported herself for speeding and not wearing a seatbelt. The woman promised the officer she would not speed anymore and fastened her seatbelt. No citations were issued.
July 24th City of Portage
Police responded to a report of a disturbance at the county fairgrounds where they found two boys in the cattle barn fighting over the placement of a manure pile.
July 10th City of Menasha
Officers received an anonymous complaint about a rummage sale in progress. Officers contacted the resident who said there was no sale in progress and that all items laying in the driveway are just her children's toys.
July 11th Village of Jackson
An officer stopped an SUV for blinding oncoming traffic with its high-beams. The driver, a 35-year-old West Bend woman, was believed to be drinking and admitted she already had a suspended license for two prior OWI convictions. The woman also told police she was hiding a cell phone in her vagina. Jail staff used a metal detector and determined that there was no cell phone in woman's vagina.
July 21st City of Shawano
A caller contacted police to report someone broke into their car and left a pack of beef jerky.
August 24th City of Oak Creek
A jogger flagged down police to report that a dog being walked by its owner just bit him on the scrotum.
August 9th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man who said he was "stuck in his brother's car" and kept honking the horn, while yelling "I just want to get out of the car. I can't get out of the car". Responding officers found the man was just extremely intoxicated and couldn't figure out how to open the door.
July 15th Village of Jackson
A man told police that he saw a woman in a vehicle intentionally try to run over a flock of geese. Using the license plate number, police located the driver. The woman told the officer that she didn’t try to run the geese over but “thought it would be funny to drive at them fast so they would fly away”. None of the geese were injured. According to police, no further action was taken because “there’s no law against being an immature moron.”
August 23rd City of Oak Creek
A resident called police to report receiving a phone call from an unidentified male who told him that he would "gut him and leave him in the woods" if he didn't pay his ex-girlfriend $80 for a cat toy.
August 23rd City of Greenfield
Police received a 911 call from a woman reporting a robbery in progress at Starbucks. The caller stated her 14-year-old daughter went inside and then texted her mom that the business was being held up. A police investigation revealed the girl actually texted her mom, “Hold up at Starbucks,” meaning the line was long and the number of customers inside was holding her up.
August 31st City of Oak Creek
Police responded after a 911 caller reported at least three vehicles were parked near his residence and the occupants were outside, yelling at each other. The responding officer found 15 people in the area, who stated they were just looking for ghosts. They were all told to leave and come back during daytime hours despite their protests that ghosts only come out at night.
August 27th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report finding strands of blonde hair in the back of his pickup truck. The man told police he was unable to tell if the blonde hairs came from a human being or an animal. Police determined the blonde hairs...were actually hay.
August 28th City of Waukesha
A man called police to request an ambulance for a 55-year-old woman. Police learned the woman wanted an ambulance because she was bleeding after popping a pimple on her face.
September 5th Dane County
A man reported to police that while his 2000 Ford Taurus station wagon was parked, someone stole the brand new right front tire from the car and replaced it with an flat balding one. The victim filled out an official police report noting "This hot rod of a car of mine seems to attract petty thuggery, obviously due to envy. I'm sure the perpetrators imagine (rightly so) a balding, middle age potbellied family man proudly cruising the city, his comb-over flowing out the half open window. I can understand their jealousy but can't condone it. I think fair punishment would be for them to one day find themselves balding and middle aged."
September 6th Dane County
A 23-year-old woman was awakened by the sound of her front door crashing in. Unsure what to do during a burglary, the woman grabbed her cell phone, hid in a closet and Googled "What to do during a burglary?". Google advised her to call police so she did.
September 9th City of Waukesha
A caller told police she saw a man carrying a baby in a dog kennel. When police arrived at the scene, they discovered it was a small dog in the kennel, not an ugly, hairy infant.
September 16th Village of Biron
A man called police and reported that he could hear people trying to break into his home. The man called police back three more times before police arrived at his residence to investigate. Responding officers believe that what the man heard was actually several falling pinecones.
September 23rd City of Waukesha
The police and fire departments rescued a man who was stuck inside a trash bin behind Dunkin' Donuts. The man told police his wife left her dentures at Dunkin' Donuts earlier in the day and was looking for them. While standing on a pallet and looking in garbage cans for the missing dentures, the man fell in and was unable to get out.
September 6th City of Neenah
A Congress Street resident called police to report hearing people yelling and screaming. Officers responding to the report found several adults engaged in...a spirited pillow fight.
September 24th Village of Shorewood
The resident called 911 because a nut got stuck in her teeth while she was eating a Hershey bar with almonds. Police instructed the woman to contact a dentist.
September 21st City of Waukesha
A domestic disturbance was reported after the caller thought she heard someone get hit and saw a female outside crying. The female said she wasn't crying and had just gone to the car to think after a verbal argument with her niece over macaroni and cheese.
September 24th City of Franklin
A 42-year-old man arrived at work at Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company and subsequently stripped down to just a necktie and boxer shorts in what was described as a "creative way to get fired".
September 30th City of Waukesha
A woman reported that her apartment had been repeatedly entered by someone over the past year and a half. The woman told police that the person who has been illegally entering her apartment keeps taking her "better quality chicken breasts" and replacing them with "lower quality" chicken breasts.
October 9th City of Waupun
A resident called police and reported that his two dogs were stuck together after mating and asked for officer assistance in getting them apart. Police contacted a local veterinarian who advised them to leave the dogs alone and nature would take its course. Prior to police leaving the residence, the dogs separated.
November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the Waukesha Public Library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.
November 13th City of Neenah
A caller on Bergstrom Road told police that a male who was just terminated had threatened to come back and cut off someone’s hands with a machete. The former employee was mad because someone had taken his soda.
August 14th Town of Emmet
A resident called the sheriff's department to report someone left empty McDonald's bags in his driveway. The area McDonald's was contacted to have them check their surveillance video recordings to see if they could identify a suspect based on the time on the receipt left in one of the bags. Deputies were unable to obtain the security video needed to aid in the investigation at this time.
August 16th Dane County
Police were called to the Henry Villas Zoo after a 24-year-old woman who loves giraffes, climbed over a fence into the giraffe enclosure. Wally, a two-year-old, 12 foot tall giraffe, licked the woman's cheek before turning around and kicking her in the face. The woman was not seriously injured. It is unclear if the kick to the face dampened the woman's love of the tall mammals.
July 12th Dane County
A 26-year-old woman with a box full of guinea pigs walked into Pet World and tried to put her guinea pigs in with the store guinea pigs. When the store manager told her she couldn't do that, the woman became angry and told him it was not his store but rather it "belongs to the animals". When police arrived, they tried to coax the woman out of the store. However, the woman yelled "I am sorry, my babies" and hurled the box of guinea pigs at officers. Police arrested the woman. The box of guinea pigs were unharmed.
November 5th City of Portage
Police responded to a request for an officer at a home on River Street about 2 AM. When the officer arrived a woman asked him to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The officer woke another family member to handle the issue.