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jul 22nd 2016

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…former Manitowoc Library Director Cherilyn Stewart who stands accused of…get this…creating fraudulent library cards. Here’s how I understand her alleged scam worked. The Manitowoc Library is funded by the city of Manitowoc.

However, the library receives additional funding from Manitowoc County based on the number of books and materials checked out and returned by county residents who don’t live in the city. Stewart is accused of issuing fake library cards for county residents and then using them to make it look like the cards were being used to check out books and materials, thus, resulting in Manitowoc County owing more money toward library funding. And how did Stewart allegedly benefit from this con? Well, more money to buy materials to keep the city library running. How dare she!

Now, to avoid the appearance of impropriety, Manitowoc is searching for an outside police agency to handle the fake library card investigation.


For alleged actions that will undoubtedly lead to more bad publicity for Manitowoc County and the inevitable Netflix documentary series Making a Librarian…er.

For reportedly committing a crime that could result in authorities “throwing the book at her” which if it’s checked out of the Manitowoc Library by a county resident would result in more funding for the library. Damn she’s sneaky!

And for allegedly committing an act she never would have had to commit if only those illiterate bastards in Melnik, Zander, and Shoto would check out a g-damn book once in a while.

We are proud to name Cherilyn Stewart, the former Manitowoc County Library director who resigned in disgrace as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:20 am Comment On This Post

jul 21st 2016


10. Animal control responded to a late night call after Trump’s hair escaped and was found humping one of the Duck Dynasty guy’s beards.

9. Scott Baio and Antonio Sabato are both still alive and apparently, not the same person.

8. Despite his deep respect for both, Trump chose neither Vladimir Putin or the rotting corpse of Saddam Hussein as his running mate.

7. The devil himself did not make an appearance to personally endorse Trump because he’s too scared of malevolent repercussions from the Clintons.

6. After being run for two whole days by Trump, the convention still hasn’t filed for bankruptcy.

5. His Vice President was chosen through careful behind the scenes vetting process and not a special All Star Edition of Celebrity Apprentice.

4. Security stopped an orangutan at the door that wanted its taint hair back.

3. Despite being repeatedly humiliated by Trump in recent weeks, when Chris Christie appeared on stage last night, he was not wearing a ball gag and leather gimp mask.

2. Donald tore himself away from arduous task of trolling Central European strip clubs looking for the next Mrs. Trump long enough to attend.

1. Hillary did not fly over the Quicken Loans arena last night spelling out "Surrender Donald" with her broomstick.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:52 am Comment On This Post

jul 18th 2016

TOKEY-MON GO: The object of Tokey-Mon Go is to capture as many inhabitants of Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg’s tour buses as you can. The most popular Tokey-Mon to catch are: the dreadlocked Ganja-gar, the bandana wearing Bluntasaur and the rapping Fo-Shizzelly Puff. 

FOLKY-MON GO: The object of Folky-Mon Go, is to catch folk and Americana musicians during Appleton’s Mile of Music. Most popular Folky-Mon to catch are: the banjo playing Plink-a-chu and the goateed, fedora wearing Chisel-Mander.

KOCHY-MON GO: The object of Kochy Mon Go is to catch as many politicians who are backed by the infamous Koch Brothers. The top Kochy-Mon to capture include the totally buff, P90X working Ryan-don and the frightful lazy-eyed Walker-Melion.

HOKEY-POKEY-MON GO: The object of Hokey-Pokey-Mon Go is to catch many annoying dancers as possible. The top Hokey-Pokey-Mon Go catches are the scary Left-Foot-IN-fernape and the dreaded Right-Foot-IN-poleon. But most players would really like to grab a Move-it-all-about-itar.

KARAOKE-MON GO: The object of Karaoke-Mon Go is to catch as many people who are so drunk they think they can sing. Most popular Karaoke-Mon to catch are the Thinks-Shes-Celine Diongonite and the Got-the-moves-but-not-the-talent-like-Jaggligger.
posted by: Rick And Len at 4:00 pm Comment On This Post

jul 18th 2016

July 11th City of Marshfield
A woman called police and reported someone took her driver's license, birth certificate, Social Security Card and son's birth certificate. The woman told police she had put the items in her vacuum cleaner, but she could no longer find them.

July 5th City of Waukesha
Police received a call from an employee of a downtown law office who reported there was a man outside flapping his arms and grooming himself like a bird.

July 3rd City of Greenfield
Police advised a resident to stop firing his Civil War cannon in his yard because neighbors were complaining that it was making their homes shake.

July 5th Village of Jackson
An officer responded to a report of a man driving a lawn tractor in the street. The officer found a 78-year-old man astride his tractor in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. The man explained that he’d lost his license to drive a car after having a stroke; his caregiver was at Summerfest; and he “wanted a damned lottery ticket” but it was too far to walk, so he used the lawn tractor. The officer followed the man as he drove the tractor home but warned him not to do it again.

June 28th City of Neenah
A caller on West Winneconne Avenue stated the back doors were open on a beer truck and kegs were falling out into traffic. They stated there were about five kegs so far and more fell out when going through the roundabout on Green Bay Road. An officer checked the area, but was unable to locate the truck or any kegs.

June 30th City of Brookfield
A man was at Half Price Books trying to sell a stack of books that appear to have been checked out of the public library. An officer called the public library where they confirmed that the books had just been checked out.

June 29th Village of Jackson
A man called police and reported that he had been recording a 48-year-old man launching illegal fireworks in his neighborhood. When the fireworks launcher discovered he was being recorded, he confronted the caller in his backyard, and yelled profanities. Despite being recorded launching the fireworks, the man insisted to police that someone else had launched the fireworks.

June 28th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man leering at people and photographing children at a park. Officers suggested the man "follow the golden rule". However, despite the warning, the man told police he would not alter his behavior even if it made people uncomfortable because he was "on a crusade against youth in the park" and their alleged "gang tactics".

June 22nd Town of Brillion
A resident called police because their neighbor’s chicken crows between 4 and 7 daily and they were wondering if the barking dog statute would cover that. Apparently, since chickens are not members of the dog family, it does not. The neighbors, however, plan to take care of the problem but butchering the chickens.

July 5th City of Waukesha
Two drunk men attempted a donut jacking at a local Mobil gas station. According to the police report, the men were harassing the delivery driver and trying to steal his donuts. The drunk men eventually just grabbed the donuts and threw them around the station.

July 5th City of Greenfield
A suspect described as a five-foot, three-inch-tall, 50-year-old white woman with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, reportedly stole two baskets of begonias hanging outside a local residence before making her getaway on a bicycle.

July 7th Village of Jackson
A concerned resident reported to police that a vehicle stopped by some children and one of the occupants yelled about they're being free ice cream. An officer located the vehicle nearby, occupied by teenagers, who explained that one of them dropped his Dilly Bar on the ground and joked to the children about “free ice cream”.

July 15th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous caller reported a man who is singing so loudly inside his own home that it could be heard outside his home. The caller did not appreciate the man's singing.

July 8th City of Antigo
Police responded to a report of a bread truck driver who lost his buns.

July 11th City of Sheboygan
Feuding neighbors on Geele Street called police to report an ongoing controversy. Police told the neighbors if they called again they would be cited. The neighbors called again and they were cited.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:05 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th 2016

Photo by Graham Images

Must be the Mile of Music effect! Appleton lands at #44 on a list from a site called Value Penguin for best places in America for music fans! Bonus: Madison at #4 and Milwaukee at 12!

Top US Cities For Music Fans:

1. Nashville-Davidson–Murfreesboro–Franklin, TN

2. Urban Honolulu, HI

3. Seattle-Tacoma-Bellevue, WA

4. Madison, WI

5. Austin-Round Rock, TX

6. Albany-Schenectady-Troy, NY

7. Tucson, AZ

8. Rochester, NY

9. Pittsburgh, PA

10. San Francisco-Oakland-Hayward, CA

11. Salt Lake City, UT

12. Milwaukee-Waukesha-West Allis, WI

13. Portland-Vancouver-Hillsboro, OR-WA

14. Eugene, OR

15. Santa Maria-Santa Barbara, CA

16. Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, MN-WI

17. Asheville, NC

18. Burlington-South Burlington, VT

19. Boulder, CO

20. Binghamton, NY

21. Wilmington, NC

22. Omaha-Council Bluffs, NE-IA

23. Fort Collins, CO

24. Cape Coral-Fort Myers, FL

25. Duluth, MN-WI

26. New York-Newark-Jersey City, NY-NJ-PA

27. Los Angeles-Long Beach-Anaheim, CA

28. Sioux Falls, SD

29. Chicago-Naperville-Elgin, IL-IN-WI

30. New Orleans-Metairie, LA

31. Las Vegas-Henderson-Paradise, NV

32. Philadelphia-Camden-Wilmington, PA-NJ-DE-MD

33. Denver-Aurora-Lakewood, CO 34. Trenton, NJ

35. Colorado Springs, CO

36. Lincoln, NE

37. Bridgeport-Stamford-Norwalk, CT

38. Boston-Cambridge-Newton, MA-NH

39. Louisville/Jefferson County, KY-IN

40. Gainesville, FL

41. Santa Cruz-Watsonville, CA

42. St. Louis, MO-IL

43. Buffalo-Cheektowaga-Niagara Falls, NY

44. Appleton, WI

45. Champaign-Urbana, IL

46. Lynchburg, VA

47. Charlottesville, VA

48. Rockford, IL

49. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV

50. Portland-South Portland, ME
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:48 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th 2016

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week… 27-year-old Sarah Bradehoft, from Star Prairie, in western Wisconsin who is facing prostitution charges after she allegedly performed sexual services for money with at least five different men on separate occasions all inside a chicken coop.


For not understanding that a long handled implement for loosening soil is the only hoe you’re supposed to find on a farm.

For not realizing that on a chicken farm, “pullet” is a noun meaning a young hen, not a verb indicating what you’re willing to do for twenty bucks.

And for ignoring the fact that while a condom may protect you from gonorrhea or syphilis, it’s not going to do jack frickin squat against avian influenza. We are proud to name Sarah Bradehoft, the Wisconsin woman who allegedly was charging for sexual services in a chicken coop as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

jul 13th 2016

A woman in Polk County in Northwest Wisconsin was arrested for allegedly performing sexual acts for a chicken coop.


10. Eggs not the only thing getting laid.

9. Instead of "cock a doodle doo", all you hear from the coop is "cock a doodle".

8. A blonde girl keeps making that motion with her hand like she’s tossing feed but that’s not feed in her hand.

7. No clucking or plucking but still a lot of ucking going on.

6. Eggs retrieved from coop too rubbery to eat due to hens consuming so many used condoms.

5. When she was busted and charged, the officer didn’t know if he should spell “foul play” it with a “u” or a “w”.

4. The girl's pimp bears a striking resemblance to Colonel Sanders.

3. When local gamers wander by looking for Pokémon, all they find is a man poking woman.

2. You keep hearing this…"Oh my god, there's a chicken in the bed!" (Paris Hilton audio)

1. To make it seem more like a legitimate site for illegal prostitution, they’ve decorated the coop look to look like a Grand Chute motel room.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:47 am Comment On This Post

jul 13th 2016

July 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man called police to report finding what appeared to be a suspicious looking potato in his yard. The man described the suspicious tuber to police by saying it appears to be a potato wrapped in black electrical tape.

June 28th Village of Pewaukee
A woman called police and reported being bitten by a stray pig that wandered into the Stop N Go Convenience store.

July 5th City of Green Bay
Officers were called to a South Baird Street residence to assist a man with diarrhea.

June 30th City of Waukesha
Police received a report of a man who locked himself inside a gas station bathroom for half an hour. According to the police report, the man was "shouting and clapping his hands in the bathroom and later dancing in the street".

June 17th City of Chilton
Police were called after a known subject struck the caller in the face with a fish.

July 7th City of Sheboygan
A caller reported a suspicious customer at Pick n’ Save. The caller told police the customer was buying lots of whiskey and rope.

June 25th City of Waukesha
Police caught a couple having sex in broad daylight on the baseball field at St. Mary's Catholic school. Officers found the couple going at it on the third baseline.

June 24th City of Delafield
Police received a report of loud adults on an apartment patio. When police arrived, officers found four adults drinking outside. An apartment resident then showed police his new Frisbee golf baskets. Officers "advised the man that they were very neat" but told the group to keep the noise down.

July 1st City of Green Bay
Police were called and alerted to the fact that a group of 10-year-old girls on Ashland Avenue where doing cartwheels in traffic.

June 14th City of Chilton
A caller reported smoke coming from his car. Responding officers discovered a subject had lit a smoke bomb in his hand, panicked and dropped it. The smoke bomb rolled under the caller's car and went off. The subject then ran away but later came back and explained to the car owner what had happened.

June 26th City of Waukesha
A man agreed to remove a sign from his camper that read "free candy inside" after an anonymous caller told police it looked suspicious. The man told officers his boss taped the "free candy" sign to the back of the camper as a joke and he had left it up.

July 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman told police that her daughter had been stealing items from her home and stole her special heating pad that the caller indicated she cannot sleep without.

June 21st Village of Antigo
Woman reported to police that she was the victim of a hit-and-run when a black Ford struck her car while it was parked in an area business. After wiping a layer of dirt and bugs off the woman's car, she determined there were no dents or scratches. It appears that the layer of dirt and bugs may have protected the woman's car against hit and run damage.

July 8th City of Green Bay
An older male customer at Wal-Mart on West Mason Street approached the Wal-Mart greeter and told him he would blow up the whole store if the greeter didn't fix his television set.

June 28th City of Waukesha
An anonymous caller told police they thought a man who is cutting his grass while wearing nothing but a Speedo was dressed inappropriately. Police located the man who told them that there was nothing indecent about his Speedo.

June 30th Village of Jackson
A bank employee reported that a man was pacing up and down the sidewalk of their business. The caller informed police that the man had hit a curb while driving through a roundabout flattening a tire. When police arrived, the 43-year-old man told the officer that when he called his wife for help, she hung up on him. When the officer called the man’s wife, she started yelling and screaming at him, “Why in the hell are the police involved? What the hell is going on?” When the officer asked the woman if she was going to assist her husband, she again started yelling, saying that he should learn to take care of himself.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:27 am Comment On This Post

jul 12th 2016

A 30-year-old Oshkosh woman police say hit a man with her car and then carried him for two blocks on the hood of the vehicle. Perhaps she didn't know when to stop her car...

If you’ve turned off your GPS in favor of just asking directions from the guy dangling from the hood of your moving vehicle…it might be time to stop your car.

If just trying to get home, you’ve slammed into more things than a Kardashian sister’s loins on an NBA All-Star weekend…it might be time to stop your car.

If the guy on the hood of your car is squealing louder and more frequently than your brakes…it might be time to stop your car.

If your brakes are squealing louder and more frequently than Jared Fogel on his hands and knees on prison shower night…it might be time to stop your car.

If there are suddenly more flashing blue lights in your vicinity than a K-mart stock clerk’s…it might be time to stop your car.

If your tires have left as many skids marks on the road as the drivers around you have left in their pants…it might be time to stop your car.

If when you turn on your windshield wipers, instead of making a gentle squeaking sound, it sounds more like “For the love of god and all things holy, stop your car you crazy bitch” …it's definitely time to stop your car.
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:01 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st 2016

June 29th City of Manitowoc
Police arrested a woman on suspicion of threatening her neighbor with a pistol over a dispute about a missing duck. The 69-year-old woman allegedly approached her neighbor, a 36-year-old man, to demand he prove he did not have her missing pet waterfowl. The woman wanted her neighbor to search his garage and see that her duck was not on his property. She then drew a pistol from her shirt pocket and pointed it toward his stomach. The neighbor reacted by disarming the woman and pushing her to the ground. The woman told police she was aware that bullets were in the gun and that the gun safety was off.

June 14th City of Neenah
A Melrose Court caller reported having problems with neighbor children always trespassing in her yard. According to the caller, the children sometimes sit at her picnic table and once left a bicycle propped against her house. They have been spoken to in the past, but the caller wanted a police officer to speak with them.

June 29th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous caller told police a woman on her block swears all the time, and the caller can't even go outside because of all the swearing.

June 29th City of Sheboygan
A caller on St. Clair Avenue told police their neighbor threatened to shoot them in a dispute over a shopping cart.

June 15th City of Glendale
Police were called to a Pick n Save where a loss prevention officer had an alleged shoplifter in custody. The woman admitted to stealing $42 worth of seafood. She told the arresting officer she only did it because she was "addicted to shrimp".

June 29th City of Beaver Dam
An officer was waved down by a citizen near the Fleet Farm and informed that his car had just been vandalized with maxi pads typically used for feminine hygiene.

June 29th City of Sheboygan
Police were dispatched after receiving a report of a woman rolling in the grass.

June 15th City of Neenah
A caller stated an intoxicated male entered St. Paul Lutheran Church on Commercial Street. The caller indicated they got the man to leave and locked the church, and now the man is outside pounding on the church doors. Contact was made with the drunk man, who stated he is having a rough time and wanted to pray in the church. He was advised to go home and pray and come back to the church to pray when he is sober.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:26 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st 2016

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len show Weenie of the Week… the still at-large person who has been stealing hundreds, if not thousands of dollars of plants from porches of Appleton homes and even from City Park in the middle of the night.

According to police, a plethora of potted plants have potentially been pilfered by Appleton’s perplexing porch and park plant purloiner.


For committing a series of plant crimes that Appleton Police have yet been unable to nip in the bud.

For apparently not understanding that usually when criminals brag about getting away with a lot of green they mean money not a pot of barely budding nasturtiums.

And for apparently not realizing that you can dig up all the plants you want but you don't really understand gardening until you've have your own ass planted in a jail cell for a while....

We're proud to name Appleton’s perplexing porch and park plant this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:16 am Comment On This Post

jun 27th 2016

June 24th City of Greenfield
A woman called 911 to request police assistance because she and her husband were being held hostage by their cat. The woman told the 911 operator, “The cat attacked my husband and we're kind of hostage in our house and we're just wondering who we should call to do something, to get rid of the cat or help us". Police ended the hostage situation by capturing the cat and turning over to animal control.

June 24th City of Appleton
A city resident witnessed a driver pull up behind a convenience store on South Oneida Street where the driver rolled down the window and littered by tossing out a lit cigarette butt. The vehicle the culprit was driving was described as a black and white car with red and blue lights on the top and the words "Appleton Police" on the side.

June 24th City of Sheboygan
A woman on 8th Street called police to report the devil had been in her apartment but had now left and gone to the library.

April 2nd City of Verona
A 41-year-old driver was cited after she struck a tree. The woman told police she became lightheaded after swallowing funny while eating cereal and talking on the phone while driving and had tried to pull over but passed out, causing her to strike a mailbox before crossing the street into oncoming traffic, and then hitting the tree.

March 18th City of Verona
A Belleville woman reported her brother had threatened to urinate and spit on their mother’s grave in the Verona cemetery. The officers documented the incident but observed there was no indication the man, who lives in Stoughton, would have the means to get to Verona in order to spit and urinate on the mother's grave.

June 19th City of Franklin
A 27-year-old man was taken into custody for disorderly conduct after he caused a disturbance in the pool area at the apartment complex where he resides. The man, who was drunk, became upset when he was thrown out of the pool for splashing children.

March 20th City of Verona
A woman called police and reported she smelled marijuana at her ex-husband's residence while dropping off their son. Hey responding officer determined that what the woman smelled was a vanilla candle.

June 20th City of Oak Creek
A caller reported a group of kids lying in the middle of the road on a busy street. The children were reportedly doing so to get drivers to stop to purchase the lemonade they were selling.

April 6th City of Verona
A caller reported seeing a man and woman chasing each other naked down the street in the middle of the afternoon. A man at a nearby address told officers he had hired an escort who had tried to get additional money from him before leaving the residence and getting in the car with another man. The man said he had closed and locked the door so they couldn’t get back inside, and they left. There was no explanation for why they were now running and naked.

June 3rd Village of Harrison
A caller told police he put up a fence to keep the neighbor's dog out of the yard. The neighbor sprayed Round Up on their plants. A dead rhubarb plant was blamed on the subject and thrown over the fence to the other side. Yelling profanities was also observed and a "no trespassing" sign with a derogatory comment was posted. Both neighbors were warned by police did not have any contact with each other, even I contact, or disorderly conduct citations would be given out.

June 24th Sheboygan County
Authorities were called to a residence where a man had left town on a trip and in his absence his mother and sister were trying to kick the man's wife out of her own home.

June 13th City of Waukesha
An 85-year-old man was spotted sunbathing naked in his driveway. A police report said the man was intoxicated, "extremely uncooperative" and argumentative with officers who spoke to him. He did, however, confirm that he tans nude in his driveway.

June 22nd City of Marshfield
A man reported a 60-year-old woman hit him in the head with a baking pan. The woman admitted to striking the man with the baking pan but told police it was only to get his attention.

June 3rd Village of Hilbert
A 94-year-old woman called police to report she is feeling harassed by a man who has been calling her several times a day and asked her out on a "romantic date".

June 22nd Village of Nekoosa
A woman called for police assistance after finding a large spider in her residence.

June 13th City of Brookfield
A woman reported to police that while she was viewing a Facebook page intended for University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee students trying to find roommates, she observed a picture of a man described as being of Iranian ethnicity standing in a dorm room. The woman was advised there was nothing illegal in the picture.
posted by: Rick And Len at 1:00 pm Comment On This Post

jun 24th 2016

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…whomever was responsible for making sure that cars on the Zippin Pippin don’t crash into each other. As you probably know, the Zippin Pippin roller coaster at Bay Beach in Green Bay currently remains closed after an accident Monday left three people injured. Little is known about the injuries suffered by the three victims, however, at least one is believed to have a sustained a badly sprained or even lightly fractured pippin.

So, For making a ride that travels at speeds of 40 mph with a drop of 70 feet feel almost as scary and unsafe as traveling highway 441 most mornings.

For actions leading to hordes of people not be able to mount and ride it for a week...sorta like the effect menstruation has on the Kardashian sisters.

And for tainting the reputation of the ride’s most enthusiastic supporter, Mayor Jim Schmitt. And even worse, for making me use the words “Mayor Jim Schmitt” and “taint” in the same sentence. (Don’t want to think about it! Don’t want to think about it!)

We are proud to name whomever was responsible for keeping the Zippin Pippin safe as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

jun 22nd 2016


If it’s slower than George W. Bush doing long division…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it goes up and down fewer times than Rick’s zipper at a week long orgy…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it has fewer twists and turns than a drive across Nebraska…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it’s as likely to leave you stranded as a 3 hour tour on the S.S. Minnow…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it offers fewer thrills than a romantic weekend with Zsa Zsa Gabor…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it spends more time at a stand-still than you in your morning commute on an icy morning on Highway 41…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it’s fuse has been blown more times than a Motley Crue roadie…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

If it elicits fewer squeals of delight than a male stripper at Melissa Etheridge concert…your Pippin might not be Zippin’.

And if it’s been shut down because some riders got rear-ended harder than Jared Fogel on prison shower night…your Pippin is definitely not Zippin’!
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:11 am Comment On This Post

jun 21st 2016

The new Gallup pole indicates that congress has an impressive 13% approval rating. Here are some...


10. Vote to authorize use of Obamacare funds to buy every red blooded American two six packs and a hooker.

9. Authorize the use of military force to keep the peace in Green Bay City Council meetings.

8. Pass bill requiring the US Postal Service to add LSD to the glue they use on postage stamps. And while it may not improve their popularity, it will make old people mailing letters talk about more interesting things than how it used to only cost a nickel to mail a first class letter.

7. Threaten to defund the Environmental Protection Agency unless they designate Kim Kardashian’s lady hole as a Super Fund clean-up site.

6. Approve funding for search and rescue mission to retrieve missing Americans who have been lost or trapped in Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt’s eyebrows.

5. Approve immediate use of FEMA funds to treat people affected by prolonged exposure to Joe Buck doing golf coverage.

4. Prosecute the Verizon “Can You Hear Me Now” guy who is now doing ads for Sprint on Federal treason charges. 3. Entertain a worried nation by hosting a National Kick a Congressman in the Crotch contest.

2. Shore up both floundering bottled water and distilled vinegar industries by voting to authorize drilling in Jay Cutler.

1. Have them reveal to a grateful nation that the 2016 presidential campaign has really just been a very entertaining exercise in performance art before introducing the real candidates; two bright, normal likeable people capable of logical reasoning and civilized discourse and who don’t have chunks of anthracite coal where their souls should be and piles of fresh, steaming horse manure where their brains should be.

posted by: Rick And Len at 10:40 am Comment On This Post

jun 21st 2016

Not an actual menasha pig...

June 9th City of Menasha
Officers were dispatched to an Elmwood Drive address to check the welfare of a dog that a neighbor said had been barking outside for several days. When they arrived at the residence, officers found what appeared to be a large pool with fish in it in the dog owner's basement, and a very large adult pig sleeping in the living room.

June 7th Village of Germantown
A resident told police someone called and told him his wife was in a terrible accident, and they needed him to put money in his shoe and place it beneath a street sign on a cul-de-sac. The man said he put $500 in cash and a few prepaid Wal-Mart cards in his shoe and placed the show inside a paper bag at the predetermined location before hearing from his wife who was ok, at which point he started to think it might be a scam. Responding officers were able to locate and retrieve the man's shoe.

June 12th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller told police that a family member had climbed through their window claiming he was being chased by ninjas wearing white masks. The caller told police they believed the man might've been hallucinating.

June 7th City of Menominee Falls
Police were called to a hospital were a woman who was not pleased with the care she received responded by throwing rubber gloves around the room. By the time officers arrived, the woman had thrown three boxes of rubber gloves on the floor and picked up a handful of brochures that she then threw all over the foyer as she was leaving.

June 10th Village of Jackson
An officer recognized a 23-year-old Sheboygan man who was holding a pitcher of beer during the Action in Jackson festivities. The man had assaulted the same officer without provocation and is now on probation, and prohibited from consuming alcohol. When the officer smelled alcohol on the man’s breath and tried to arrest him, the man put his bicycle between them and took off on foot. An hour later, the man posted a taunting message on Facebook about eluding the cops leading to a Sheboygan County deputy going to the man's home and arresting him. The man claimed he wasn’t in Jackson and had “no idea” why he was being arrested. He was chagrined when the officer told him that he had a “screen shot” of his taunting Facebook post.

June 16th Dane County
A firm that manages an apartment building hired a service to "trim" a tree in the yard, but a 59-year-old woman refused to remove herself from the tree's base leading to a request from the trimmers for police intervention. An officer tried to convince the woman the crew was not going to chop down the tree, but only "give it a haircut of sorts". The woman still would not budge, explaining targeted branches shade her porch. The officer suggested alternatives for shade like an umbrella or an awning. But the woman told the officer one of the main reasons she picked this apartment was for the trees. She was not interested in a human-made canopy and insisted police take her to jail...which they did. 

June 6th City of Brookfield
Police were called to respond to a report of a man wearing fatigues running through yards, hiding under trees and taking pictures of houses. Police made contact with the subject, a 34-year-old man, who advised officers he was just trying to determine whose dog was defecating in neighborhood yards.

June 15th City of Sheboygan
Police received a report of a woman on Main Street attempting to steal a bicycle while wearing a black sweatshirt that had been "Bedazzled".

June 16th City of Beaver Dam
A man called police and reported that another man came up to him and told him that he is spying on him. He told police this has happened more than once.

June 14th Village of Arpin
A resident requested a welfare check on a small child locked in a car, because the child had been in the vehicle at least a half hour and wasn't moving. Deputies determined the child... was a mannequin. June 9th City of Menasha Officers were dispatched for a report of a male who was walking down the sidewalk yelling and throwing bricks.

June 14th City of Marshfield
A woman reported to police that an unknown person texted her an obscene message. The messages sender called the woman "Monica" which the caller told police is not her name.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:25 am Comment On This Post

jun 21st 2016


10. Appleton Mayor Tim Hanna in his big floppy hat.

9. Len playing the greatest hits of Iggy Azalea on his accordion.

8. Licking Main Street in Fond du Lac clean on Saturday night.

7. The governor’s cold, wonky eye.

6. Tom Milbourn doing the chicken dance in a banana hammock.

5. What it would feel like to wear a hand knitted sweater made exclusively from hair extracted from warts on Rosie O’Donnell’s back fat.

4. What Kaukauna would smell like if you added a Limburger cheese factory.

3. Donald Trump giving me the finger while wearing baby mittens on his wee-little hands.

2. A cupcake frosted with pus from Carol’s infected ear hole.

1. Doing hand stands in a Porta John on the last day of Country USA.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:19 am Comment On This Post

jun 17th 2016

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week…Robert R. Thalheim, the 45-year old man who was trapped beneath a 2016 GMC Sierra at Meyer Motors in Sheboygan County early Sunday after he apparently used a jack that couldn’t support the weight of the truck and it collapsed while he was under it allegedly trying to steal the rims….AND his believed accomplice who apparently fled with one of the rims and leaving the truck atop his friend’s skull. When police found Thalheim, he reportedly told them he was "doing something bad" when the truck fell on him.


For proving there are two guys in this area even more heartless and incompetent than us.

For proving there is nothing more uncomfortable than a painful rim job.

And for showing that karma doesn’t always come back to bite you on the ass. Sometimes, it just parks on your head.

We are proud to Robert R. Thalheaim, name the guy who got trapped under a pick-up truck while allegedlly trying to steal the rims and his accomplice who apparently ran away and left him there as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenies of the Week!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:24 am Comment On This Post

jun 13th 2016

May 26th City of Greendale
A 77-year-old man was cited for lewd and lascivious behavior after a police officer found him masturbating in front of a 61-year-old man in the men's bathroom in the picnic area of a park. According to police, the 61-year-old man was facing the suspect and "rooting him on".

June 6th Dane County
Police responded to a report of a burglary. The culprit appears to have entered the home through an unlocked door; stole a gun, ammunition and money and dumped the homeowner's father's ashes in a frying pan on the kitchen stove.

June 5th City of Shawano
A woman on West 5th Street called police to report her boyfriend moved out of their shared dwelling and took all the remote-controls with him.

May 25th City of Neenah
A caller informed police there is a female in a vehicle ON one of the roundabouts on Breezewood Lane. When the caller asked the woman if she needed help, the woman just swore at her.

June 7th City of Delafield
An anonymous caller reported two men "having a hippie music festival" in the median of Highway 83. The caller was concerned the men might be a traffic hazard, however, he noted that the banjo skills of one of the men were "not too bad".

June 6th City of Waukesha

An intoxicated man reportedly tried to start an Uber driver's car without the keys. The driver had removed the keys because the man injured himself by hanging onto the outside of the vehicle while it was moving before climbing into the car.

June 10th City of La Crosse
Police responded to a 911 call from a woman who reported that her jealous boyfriend just set fire to a car belonging to a man who gave her a ride home from the bar. When police arrived, the jealous boyfriend was sitting on the porch watching the vehicle burn while drinking a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

May 28th City of Waukesha
A man told police he was napping and did not need medical attention when someone called to report the man was lying unconscious on the sidewalk. The man was awake when police arrived and told officers he was very upset someone had contacted police on his behalf because they were concerned about his well-being.

June 4th City of Oak Creek
A woman flipped over some flower planters, pulled out newly planted flowers and threw them on the roof of a home. The woman was reportedly angry because the residents of the home didn't answer their doorbell.

May 29th City of Wauwatosa
A man called police and reported that he left his gold teeth on the table at Denny's and somebody took them. The man's missing gold teeth were valued at $1260.

June 4th Village of Germantown
A resident called police to report someone had vandalized their Christmas decorations.

June 8th City of Beaver Dam
Police were called to Swan City Park were a resident reported seeing a 14-year-old boy kick a soda machine. When an officer arrived at the scene of the crime, he located the 14-year-old boy, who admitted to having kicked the soda machine, and his friend. Police banned both the soda machine kicker and his friend from the park for 60 days.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:51 am Comment On This Post

jun 13th 2016


9. Ross doesn’t beat me with a switch the way Len does if I only come up with nine items for the top ten list.

8. Cuts the old people smell in the studio by half.

7. Women are drawn to Ross’s adorable muffin ass like flies to poop.

6. Ross smells only of stale beer and resentment not patchouli and hippy juice like Len does after his long weekends.

5. I have someone in the studio to Twerk with during AC/DC songs.

4. Ross doesn’t complain as much as Len does about helping me manscape.

3. Reduces Carol’s bitching about having to “work with those a-holes” by almost 20%.

2. Ross’ sunny disposition and vibrant personality gives me an excuse to take an extra Prozac.

1. Since Ross doesn’t play accordion, he doesn’t need me to periodically rub medicated balm on his chaffed nipples.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:35 am Comment On This Post