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mar 7th


March 2nd City of Marshfield
A man called police and reported he ordered a gold tooth, valued at $31.49, from a California company, but the company shipped the tooth to the wrong address. An officer contacted the resident where the tooth was delivered, but the resident claimed he had no knowledge of any gold tooth.

February 17th City of Menasha
An anonymous caller on Ninth Street reported it sounded like someone was building something by sawing wood and dragging it around. Officers spoke to the resident who stated they were just making smoothies, but REFUSED to show officers the smoothie maker.

March 5th City of Oshkosh
Police were called to Target where a man was masturbating while wandering around the store.

February 23rd City of Neenah
A Haylett Street caller called police and reported she's being harassed by someone via text messages regarding a baby quilt she made and wants the harassment to stop.

February 26th City of Marshfield
An employee of a local business reported that at a 31-year-old man called the company and threatened to show up and harm staff if they didn't stop mailing him paperwork. The man said that by mailing him paperwork, the company is wasting paper causing too many trees to be cut down. When told that company policy is to send out certain forms by mail, the man said he was going to place the employee and other staff members in a wooden box and sink them in the Wisconsin River.

March 3rd City of Sheboygan
Police were called after a drunk man fell off his seat on the bus when it turned onto Michigan Avenue and he didn't seem to notice.

February 22nd Village of Germantown
Police responded to a grocery store after a caller reported someone was throwing rocks off the roof. Officers found a female on the roof, and the Fire Department responded to assist her off the roof safely. It is unclear why the woman was on the roof or why she felt the need to throw rocks at customers.

February 29th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported a possible prowler in a pickup sitting in front of their house. The caller said it was the second day the pickup was there. A responding officer discovered the driver was just a guy eating his lunch before going to school.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:37 am Comment On This Post

mar 4th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week... Dylan VanCamp, the 22-year-old Merrill man accused to water boarding his girlfriend in an effort to get her to confess to cheating on him. According to the police report, VanCamp became jealous when he discovered his girlfriend, who he had been dating for about a month, was using social media to speak with a guy she had known for quite some time, and decided to use waterboarding as a means to find out if there was anything more going on.

So,

For not realizing that while the final judgment may not be in as to what kind of Vice President Dick Cheney was, nobody ever suggested he was a great relationship counselor.

For not understanding that it might have been more appropriate to use the old Chinese water torture since VanCamp himself appears to be a real drip. 

For apparently misunderstanding when someone told him it's not unusual to get a little board with every relationship.

We are proud to name Dylan VanCamp of Merrill, who stands accused of waterboarding his girlfriend to find out if she was cheating on him as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:15 pm Comment On This Post

mar 4th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week... Dylan VanCamp, the 22-year-old Merrill man accused to water boarding his girlfriend in an effort to get her to confess to cheating on him. According to the police report, VanCamp became jealous when he discovered his girlfriend, who he had been dating for about a month, was using social media to speak with a guy she had known for quite some time, and decided to use waterboarding as a means to find out if there was anything more going on.

So,

For not realizing that while the final judgment may not be in as to what kind of Vice President Dick Cheney was, nobody ever suggested he was a great relationship counselor.

For not understanding that it might have been more appropriate to use the old Chinese water torture since VanCamp himself appears to be a real drip. 

For apparently misunderstanding when someone told him it's not unusual to get a little board with every relationship.

We are proud to name Dylan VanCamp of Merrill, who stands accused of waterboarding his girlfriend to find out if she was cheating on him as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:15 pm Comment On This Post

mar 2nd


February 16th City of Bayside
A male was arrested for disorderly conduct after a 911 call reporting "a naked man humping" in a car behind a business. The man drove away but returned to the same location a short time later where he told police he had taken off his clothes because he was hot from work. The man also admitted he might have "humped the back seat."

February 25th St. Croix County, Wisconsin
Charges were brought against a 65-year-old Spring Valley man related to an incident that happened last summer. According to investigators, the man accidentally killed a neighbor’s horse when a bowling ball he shot out of a cannon during a 4th of July celebration crashed through the roof of a barn a half mile away and hit the animal in the head. The man admitted to police he shot a total of 10 bowling balls and 10 bowling pins out of the cannon that day.

February 20th City of Neenah
A Byrd Avenue woman called 911 to ask for the phone number for Rogan's Shoes. The woman told police there was no emergency, but she sounded very confused.

February 14th City of Neenah
A caller on Professional Plaza called police to report a female keeps walking into her apartment unwelcome and unannounced. She wanted the woman to be told she can't just walk into people's apartments.

February 11th Town of Menasha
An 18-year-old man was arrested for first offense OWI after he was stopped and told officers that he had just “smoked a bowl".

February 17th City of Cudahy
A 51-year-old man was cited after he refused to leave a home and defecated on the balcony. According to police reports, "this seems to be an ongoing issue" between the man and the homeowner. The homeowner welcomes the man, "the two of them drink until both are highly intoxicated," then the 51-year-old man does his thing and calls police to have his guest removed. This was the fifth such incident in the past three months.

February 12th City of Greendale
A female wearing a black coat and a black fur hat shoplifted a hot pink-colored stripper pole at Southridge Mall and fled with the stripper pole in a red Nissan Altima with tinted windows.

February 14th City of Glendale
Police responded to a report of two girls, 15 and 16, causing a disturbance by yelling and fighting near the food court at the mall. When security told the girls they had to leave or police would be called, one said, "I don't give a crap. They ain't arresting me." Police were called and the girl was arrested.

February 27th City of Sheboygan
Police responded to a report of a disturbance on North 13th Street where a man was cutting stuffed animals with a knife.

February 23rd City of Sheboygan
A Sibley Court resident called police for assistance after his drunk wife fell off her chair and he couldn't pick her up and put her back on her chair by himself.

February 22nd City of Sheboygan
A North 4th Street man with swollen genitalia called police.

February 25th Waupaca County
The sheriff's department investigated a report of an elderly person tapping someone with their cane.

Feb 19 City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police responded to an apartment for a complaint that an individual had their television on and was playing their pornography way too loud.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:37 am Comment On This Post

mar 2nd


Scandal!!!! Some folks think Hank the Dog has been replaced. Compare the photos of Hank from a couple years ago and Hank today. Same mutt, er no? If you agree that something hinky is going on, here are the....

ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION “WHERE IS THE REAL HANK THE DOG?” 

10. Doubled in size and became vicious after getting into Ryan Braun’s “medicine” cabinet.

9. Was traded to St. Louis for a dog that can do something Brewer infielders can’t do…catch a ball.

8. Took money from sales of Hank merchandise and got himself a posse and some bitches.

7. Is part bloodhound and went in search for missing Brewer pitching.

6. Is part bloodhound and went in search for missing Brewer hitting.

5. Died in a painful home neutering accident.

4. In Chicago, hiding under Jay Cutler’s helmet where every time he pees people just think Jay is crying again.

3. Perhaps someone should check the burn-pit at the Avery place.

2. Is it just me or does this Johnsonville brat taste…, you know… “different”?

1. Management did to him what they should have done to the whole team last season. Took him out back and shot him like "Old Yeller".
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

feb 17th


10. CBS again chose LL Cool J to host because paint drying apparently had another commitment.

9. Screwing up the sound during Adele’s performance at awards presented by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences is like if the presentation of the award for Best Cinematography at the Oscars was done entirely out of focus.

8. Speaking of Adele, the either lighted her very poorly or get her to the hospital. The woman has jaundice.

7. R&B Singer, The Weeknd proved that black guys can’t pull off the Flock of Seagulls’ hair either.

6. During the salute to Lionel Ritchie, country singer Luke Bryan looked like he hadn’t taken a good dump since the Clinton administration.

5. Johnny Depp plays guitar like he acts…in the movie Mordecai.

4. Singer Ed Sheeran apparently shares a barber with Bernie Sanders.

3. Pitbull’s show closing number was perfect because I’m sure it made everyone get up leave.

2. Lady Gaga’s tribute to David Bowie should have been called Insufferable-gette City. (it was one Sweeny Sister shy of being a Saturday Night Live sketch)

1. Justin Bieber had the kind of mustache you usually only see on a guy who knocks on your door because the court requires he tell you he moved into your neighborhood.
posted by: Rick And Len at 6:15 am Comment On This Post

feb 15th

(not the cow from the  story)

February 3rd Stanley Township
A caller reported there is a loose call in deep snow. The responding officer advised the cow may belong to The owner of the Sales Barn. The person the officer spoke to at the Sales Barn said the cow was sold to a man from Amery in Polk County.. The man from Amery had been trying to get the cow into the trunk of his car and it got away. The officer says the new owner couldn't fit the 800 pound cow in his small car because there was a 400 pound cow in the backseat and another cow in the trunk.

February 1st City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man called police regarding an angel who keeps contacting him. The man was not sure If the angel was a male or female, or how the messages were being received. The man told police he believes the angel might be from Arizona.

February 11th Brown County
Resident called police and reported someone had entered his apartment and opened his package of hot dogs. The man called back a short time later to report that they had also taken his Ramen noodles. 

January 31st City of Neenah
A caller on South Commercial Street reported they had a lawn ornament stolen over a week ago and now it has suddenly reappeared. Investigation found the garden ornament was "missing" because had just been buried under snow and had "reappeared" when the snow melted. It did not appear there was any criminal activity.

February 2nd City of Greenfield
A man and a woman were taken into custody for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest at a convenience store. The two caused a loud disruption pounding on the bathroom door and yelling because it was occupied.

January 27th City of Waukesha
Police were called to the Best Western Hotel where three people were causing a disturbance in the lobby. The people were upset that the staff that cleaned out the hotel room they stayed in two days ago did not save perishable food they left behind. The people were offered $15 for the food that was tossed but demanded more money. 

January 30th City of Glendale
Police were called to pick and save or two women were caught shoplifting cupcakes and waffles.

January 25th City of Chilton
An employee at Wal-Mart called police to report a subject had a suspiciously large number of expensive Legos in his cart. They were afraid the subject may run out the front door with the cart full of Legos.

January 31st City of Marshfield
Police responded to a report of a fight at a bar. While on the scene, staff indicated that they also wanted a drunken, shirtless man removed from the premises. In the parking lot, the drunken, shirtless man began asking his brother to punch him.

January 30th City of Marshfield
A store employee called police and reported a customer was attempting to purchase earrings but the store does not sell any type of jewelry. The earrings were in the original package with price tag attached. Please run able to determine how the earrings got in the store for what was the place of origin.

January 18th Village of Sherwood
A Carriage Court resident called police because they believe that their neighbors' dog was barking excessively. They told police, the dog barks for 2 to 10 minutes at a time exactly 2 times a day.

February 12th City of Manitowoc
The County Metro Drug Unit searched a house on South 14th Street after receiving information from Manitowoc County Sheriff's Office personnel, who smelled marijuana while at the location to find a man wanted on a local warrant. Officers found six teenagers inside the residence, about a half pound of marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and one live 3-foot-long crocodile.

January 9th Town of Rudolph
A 25-year-old man is facing charges for spitting at a police officer while attempting to steal a tractor.

January 30th Village of Balsam Lake
Police responded to a 911 call about erratic driving. The responding officer located the pick-up truck in question which turned out to be driven a nine-year old girl driving her intoxicated mother and the mother's intoxicated boyfriend the couple’s 11-month-old baby was strapped into a car seat. The nine-year-old allegedly drove the truck for miles, weaving in and out of oncoming traffic. Fortunately, there were no accidents and no one was hurt.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

feb 8th


February 3rd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man called 911 and reported people were threatening him, but he wouldn't give his address because he needed to go get a pizza first. The man said he couldn't go to the Police Department because he hadn't eaten all day and needed pizza. When a dispatcher told him to call back after he had eaten and not use 911, the man began swearing and calling the dispatcher names.

February 1st City of Waukesha
A man reported cigarette butts missing from his apartment. The man told police he believed someone took the cigarette butts to possibly frame him for a crime.

December 10th Village of Oregon
A 75-year-old man called the police and reported repeated threats due to his research on government conspiracies, which he said often upsets people. The man said he was delivered a package and because he had gotten them in the past he knew it would contain a plastic duck. The man said he sent a similar package he recently received to a postal inspector in Florida to have him look over. The man just wanted the incident documented, and said he did not know who has been sending him plastic ducks.

January 29th City of Waukesha
A resident notified police they believed a domestic disturbance was going on at an apartment and thought the woman that lived there was being abused. Responding officers discovered the man who lived there was alone and simply watching "Galavant," a musical comedy television show.

February 3rd City of Marshfield
Police were called after a woman was attempting to park her car when she mistook the windshield wiper control for the drive shifter and drove into a fence.

January 30th City of Waukesha
A security guard saw a vehicle in the parking lot of a car dealership with a sign in the window that read "this car is going to be BOMBED". Police found only a small canister on the floor in the backseat that turned out to be an air freshener. It was believed an employee placed the note in the window just so no one would enter the vehicle. 

January 31st City of Waukesha
A woman called police after a man attempted to crawl into her window because she wouldn't answer her door. The man said he tried to enter the house because he wanted his slippers. The woman ended up giving the slippers to the man, who was advised by police on his behavior.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

feb 8th


10. While Pepsi and Mountain Dew were suitable sponsors, this game really needed Red Bull and No-Doze.

9. The ad with the sheep looking for someone to love was sadly for Honda and not a new dating app.

8. Scott Baio is still alive and apparently likes guacamole.

7. When pregnant friends tell me they’re inducing labor, it just means they’re buying a bag or Doritos.

6. I’ve seen roast turkeys with better legs than Willem Dafoe.

5. Cam Newton really is good at dabbing if by dabbing you mean using a cloth to gently wipe away tears. 

4. We get it Steve Harvey. You screwed up. Let it go! 

3. Finally, there's a laxative for heroin users.

2. Not only is it okay to put catsup on your wiener, your wiener may like it.

1. Puppy Monkey Baby may have been creepy but not as nightmare inducing as watching Peyton Manning kiss Papa John.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:16 am Comment On This Post

feb 8th


WAPL's International Incident trip this year is to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. That's a country which loves its baseball even more than we do in the USA. But good equipment is scarce and the Rockin' Apple is going to change that.

We're collecting used baseball gloves, balls, bats, cleats, etc. to bring with us and distribute to kids and young adults who play the game with passion but often without decent gear.
You can help by dropping off donations by Wednesday, Feb. 17 at any of the following locations:

GREEN BAY
Professional Heating and Air Conditioning
2944 Holmgren Way

APPLETON
Recker's Towing
1024 West Wisconsin Avenue

OSHKOSH
Turn Key Auto
2265 Omro Road (Highways 41 and 21)

PLYMOUTH
Generations Center
1500 Douglas Drive (County E just south of Highway 23)

NEW LONDON
Modern Flooring
3750 County T (Old 45 South)

KIEL
Kiel Auto,
1301 Highway 67

MANITOWOC
The Fitness Store
1410 Dewey Street
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:06 am Comment On This Post

feb 1st

January 6th Village of Jackson
Officers were dispatched to a local factory regarding an employee who, after being terminated, caused a disturbance. A supervisor told police they informed the man he was being terminated because of his vulgar language in front of other employees, including repeatedly saying “mother****er” in the break room. The man reacted by using various versions of the f-word, such as “f*** this”, “mother ****ers”, and “f*** this place”. He was warned that the police would be called if he didn’t calm down; the man replied, not surprisingly, “F*** the police”.

January 19th City of Waukesha
A caller reported her apartment was entered and her cellphone was stolen. However, later in the day the phone was found in the refrigerator mixed in with some tomatoes.

January 17th City of Menasha
A female on First Street called police because she wanted her boyfriend removed from their home because he locked himself in a room and would not talk to her. The woman said her boyfriend had a new contact number in his phone and he would not explain why he was friends with the 22-year-old female. The boyfriend said he locked himself in the room to get away from the woman until she sobers up.

January 16th City of Waukesha
A caller told police he found a bullet inside his vehicle. The man told officers that two weeks earlier, he had noticed a hole in the roof of his car, but at the time didn't think much about it, assuming that someone who didn't like him had drilled a hole in it.

January 19th City of Greenfield
Someone defecated in the children's playhouse inside the Public Library. A library employee told police they believe it was done intentionally by an adult due to the size of the feces.

January 20th Village of Germantown
Police responded to Pro Health Care after an employee called to report a woman was acting erratically inside the clinic. The woman was reportedly talking with a puppet on her hand and lifting up her shirt. The woman left the clinic before police arrived and ended up in the lobby at the Police Department, where she complained of abdominal pain.

January 31st City of Green Bay
Police responded to a disturbance were a man wielding a fishing rod was threatening a man defending himself with a baseball bat.

January 20th City of Waukesha
A caller felt it was suspicious a plastic bag was near the fire hydrant. The caller said the bag was there for a day. Police said there was nothing suspicious as it was simply a trash bag. Officers responded to the scene and discarded the bag.

January 21st City of Waukesha
A caller reported a vehicle has been circling a business for the past 15 to 20 minutes. Employees of a nearby business were afraid to leave with the vehicle driving around. Police talked with the driver who was just playing a game on his phone that required him to pick out certain landmarks around the city. The driver was advised and moved along and the employees were escorted to their vehicles.

January 17th Village of Jackson
A woman told police that she received a text message reading: “Could you lower the noise. It is pretty disturbing and my son is asking if you’re hurt”. Police traced the sender who told them she meant to send the message to her upstairs neighbor. She told police she was just trying to tactfully address the neighbor’s intense romantic vocalizations during sex.

January 16th Village of Jackson
A West Bend man called the police and reported that his 52-year-old estranged wife called him from her Jackson workplace. The conversation was along the lines of, “You’re a f***ing a**hole” and “I hope you have another stroke and this time it either kills or paralyzes you”. After being warned, she told the officer that she had nothing further to say to her husband.

January 28th City of Sheboygan
Police responded to a call from somebody at the Mead Library. A man accused a teenager of throwing something at his car. The teen denied throwing anything. However, according to police, the man "wigged out".
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:34 am Comment On This Post

jan 22nd


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…29-year-old Sara Windom of Baraboo who after being questioned by police at a gas station early Saturday drove off in the deputy's squad car. The deputy and a trooper were dealing with Windom and a man, both reportedly intoxicated, inside the BP gas station at about 4:20am. Windom then left the station, and when the deputy looked outside, he noticed his patrol vehicle was gone. A witness told the deputy that Windom got into the squad car and headed east on Interstate 90-94. The deputy and trooper pursued the stolen squad car in the trooper's vehicle eventually pulling Windom over and arresting her for her third alleged drunken driving offense and operating without the owner's consent.

So,

For finally making it clear that the reason the Circus World Museum is located in Baraboo is that the city is apparently populated with clowns.

For reportedly doing the worst thing you can do to a cop shy of burning down his favorite donut shop.

And for apparently having more balls than the pit at a McDonald’s Play Land.

We are proud to name Sara Windom of Baraboo who earned her third DUI after stealing a deputy's squad car while allegedly drunk as this week's Rick's and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:27 am Comment On This Post

jan 22nd
We don't normally think of the late David Bowie as be being funny. However, a recording of him doing impressions of Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Lou Reed, Anthony Newley, Iggy Pop and Neil Young surfaced this week. Pretty funny. But how is is John Madden?
posted by: Rick And Len at 7:21 am Comment On This Post

jan 18th

January 14th Wisconsin Dells
A vegan woman called the police and reported that a friend tricked her into eating a strip of bacon. The friend justified his actions by stating that he was tired of her "constantly talking about how great being a vegan was." No charges are being pressed as the woman discovered she greatly enjoyed the taste.

January 7th Village of Germantown
Police responded to a residence after a caller reported loud noises coming from his neighbor's house at about 7pm. Police spoke to the neighbor, who said he was just singing along to Pearl Jam. He was told about the complaint and agreed to use headphones. Police responded to the residence again about an hour later after another neighbor reported someone was yelling loudly inside the home. They headphones didn't make the singing along to Pearl Jam any quieter.

December 29th Town of Menasha
A 66-year-old man on Easy Street was cited for damage to property after he had gotten into an argument with another man that was plowing snow at a residence as he believed that the snow was being pushed too close to his home and potentially causing damage. The man yelled at the plow driver and pounded on his truck causing a dent.

January 7th City of Franklin
A 23-year-old man was taken into custody after he allegedly exposed his penis to employees at a bakery. It was reportedly no long john.

January 5th City of Franklin
Two 22-year-old men and a 21-year-old man were taken into custody for disorderly conduct after they smashed a gallon of milk, threw an egg and opened packages of Gummy Savers and ate them in Walmart.

January 9th City of Brookfield
A woman called police to report that while she was going up to receive communion at St. Dominic’s Catholic Church somebody stole her purse.

December 30th City of Menomonee Falls
Police and emergency personnel responded to a house fire. The fire reportedly started after the homeowner cleaned out his fireplace and placed the hot ashes in a garbage bag full of Christmas wrapping paper.

January 1st City of Waukesha
A caller reported juveniles were "up to no good" with one of them lying underneath a pickup truck in an underground parking garage. Responding officers found six 13-year-old girls playing hide-and-seek.

January 3rd City of Waukesha
A caller reported their neighbors were being loud. The people in the apartment were just upset over the Green Bay Packers losing to the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday Night Football. Police determined the noise wasn't excessive considering the circumstances.


January 14th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous caller told police that a man wearing flannel was “walking on water” by the boat landing.

January 14th City of Beaver Dam
Someone on North Spring Street notified police that they witnessed a man and woman who were arguing about ice cream.

December 1st City of Verona
Police were called to rescue a plastic, light-up Santa Claus lawn decoration from a basketball hoop.

posted by: Rick And Len at 11:58 am Comment On This Post

jan 15th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…. 58-year-old Steven Grimm, who was responsible for a lockdown of Manitowoc Lincoln High School yesterday morning. According to police, after a long night of drinking and drugging, Grimm allegedly began to think he was a knight and thought the school was a castle. After entering the school, Grimm reportedly became combative with members of the custodial staff who attempted to stop him from climbing to the top of the castle’s, I mean, the top of the school’s tower. Grimm told officers that being a knight in a castle, he just wanted to get to the highest part of the structure. Students and staff waited in the auditorium and cafeteria until about 8 a.m. at which time the school was deemed safe and classes resumed as usual.

So, 

For committing an act that could get him locked up in jail…or more appropriately…a dungeon.

For thinking he was a knight yesterday morning which would gone well with my ass because it was a dragon.

For claiming to be a knight, which might be true since his behavior makes him seem like he could be Sir…Tifiable.

We are proud to name Steven Grimm of Manitowoc as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:14 am Comment On This Post

jan 13th


SURPRISES FROM LAST NIGHT’S STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

10. President Obama found Speaker of the House Paul Ryan's hot, moist breath on his neck oddly reassuring.

9. Thanks to an inflatable donut shaped cushion, Joe Biden made it through the whole speech without reapplying Preparation H.

8. I really missed John Boehner’s leathery, tear-covered, Cheeto colored face.

7. Falling temperatures outside of the capitol building still much warmer than Senator Marco Rubio’s cold, dead eyes.



6. Only some of the cutaway shots to Bernie Sanders and John McCain looked like ads for enlarged prostate medication.

5. After standing in line for two hours to get in, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson was extremely disappointed to learn he was not at the 8:10 showing of The Force Awakens.

4. Senator Ted Cruz was unable to attend due to it being his night to rub his mother's feet.

3. Despite numerous partisan applause breaks, none were loud enough to wake Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. (dipping in the wine again like last year or she came as Bill Cosby's date)

2. For at least the last third of the speech, Paul Ryan was clinically dead.



1. For someone as anti-gay as former Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis, she showed up for the speech dressed like a lesbian hillbilly.



posted by: Rick And Len at 10:37 am Comment On This Post

jan 12th


CRAZY THINGS RICK WOULD DO IF HE WON THE 1.5 BILLION DOLLAR POWERBALL

10. Hire a skilled optical surgeon to put ten years of tears back into Jay Cutler’s eyes.

9. Pay the creator of Pop Tarts to create Mom Tarts to finally put an end to 50 years of sexist Kellogg’s toaster pastries.  

8. Pay to develop a moist towelette powerful enough to permanently wipe that smug grin off the face of the so called affluenza kid.

7. Establish a charity that gives ugly lower back tattoos to elderly men called Gramp Stamps.

6. Convene a team of the world’s leading hair growth specialists to determine why Joe Buck’s efforts to grow a beard make him look like a blotchy, molting werewolf.

5. Restore much needed respect to the third digit of our numerical system by starting to market THREE percent milk and number THREE lead pencils.

4. Establish a branch of the Secret Service responsible solely for arresting and detaining people who knowingly fart in elevators.

3. Buy so many Packer neckties it makes Cameron Moreland's puny head explode.

2. Begin a worldwide support group staffed by the most gifted therapists to assist people mentally scarred by their inability to find a Coke bottle with their name on it.

1. Ask for it all in pennies just to piss them off.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

jan 12th


CRAZY THINGS RICK WOULD DO IF HE WON THE 1.4 BILLION DOLLAR POWERBALL

10. Hire a skilled optical surgeon to put ten years of tears back into Jay Cutler’s eyes.

9. Pay the creator of Pop Tarts to create Mom Tarts to finally put an end to 50 years of sexist Kellogg’s toaster pastries.  

8. Pay to develop a moist towelette powerful enough to permanently wipe that smug grin off the face of the so called affluenza kid.

7. Establish a charity that gives ugly lower back tattoos to elderly men called Gramp Stamps.

6. Convene a team of the world’s leading hair growth specialists to determine why Joe Buck’s efforts to grow a beard make him look like a blotchy, molting werewolf.

5. Restore much needed respect to the third digit of our numerical system by starting to market THREE percent milk and number THREE lead pencils.

4. Establish a branch of the Secret Service responsible solely for arresting and detaining people who knowingly fart in elevators.

3. Buy so many Packer neckties it makes Cameron Moreland's puny head explode.

2. Begin a worldwide support group staffed by the most gifted therapists to assist people mentally scarred by their inability to find a Coke bottle with their name on it.

1. Ask for it all in pennies just to piss them off.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

jan 11th


January 7th City of Sheboygan
Police received a report of a man on 7th Street who had taken off his shoes and much of his clothing and was walking southbound in a snowsuit with his pants on his head.

December 23rd City of Menasha
A man on Racine Street reported to police that he got punched in the mouth for no reason. After talking to the man further, he admitted it was more like a slap than a punch. Eventually, the man admitted that it was more of a shove than a slap. According to police, there was no visible injury from the shove. The officer made contact with a man at the residence who stated the caller showed up intoxicated and was trying to pick a fight but nobody wanted anything to do with him so the caller was sent on his way.

December 27th City of Waukesha
A 14-year-old girl called police and reported that while she was home with three other children having a slumber party and someone was banging on her parents' garage door. Responding officers found it was the fathers of the children at the house who were trying to scare them. Both fathers were intoxicated and not very cooperative with officers.

December 28th City of Whitefish Bay
A 40-year-old man was arrested for disorderly conduct after he sprayed a neighbor with pepper spray because the neighbor blew some snow in his yard.

December 25th City of Menasha
Officers were called to a 2nd Street residence to investigate a loud music complaint between two roommates. The male party was intoxicated and wanted to dance to loud music, while the female wanted to just watch TV. Officers worked to find a solution for more than 20 minutes until male suddenly said that he wanted to leave for the night and called his brother to pick him up.

December 26th City of Waukesha
A caller thought a driver was intoxicated after seeing a slow moving vehicle up on the curb that had been swerving all over the road before striking the curb. Police found the woman was not impaired and that her slow and erratic driving was simply because she was looking at Christmas lights she had never seen before.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:13 am Comment On This Post

jan 8th


December 21st North of Wisconsin Dells
A caller told police she is fearful of her husband, who went into a violent rage upon hearing a Nationwide Insurance commercial. Her husband then began screaming loudly, in an apparent effort to get "the tune" out of his head.

December 9th Town of Menasha
A Manitowoc Road resident called police to report the theft of a 42 inch inflatable Stuart from their yard.

December 21st City of Greenfield
A woman was spotted shoplifting several items at Target but fled the store before loss prevention security officers could stop her. The woman was arrested a short time later when she returned to the store to retrieve her purse that she accidentally left behind.

December 8th City of Wauwatosa
Police were called to Toppers pizza were a male customer was causing a disturbance. The man was reportedly upset because the pizzeria had not prepared his pizza despite him calling in an order ahead of time. The man finally left on his own accord and refused to take a free pizza Toppers had given him.

December 16th City of Franklin
An intoxicated 41-year-old Montello woman, staying at the Embassy Motel, was arrested after she called 911 asking for help and then refused to cooperate with the responding officers and disturbed other guests. When asked why she called 911, the Woman replied, "Because I am stupid".

December 24th City of Greenfield
A caller reported Satanist activity at a local business. The caller stated that when she quit working at the business about four-years ago the owner cast a spell on her and other employees. An officer attempted to call the business but it was closed for Christmas.

December 23rd City of Franklin
A caller reported the theft of a sheep from their outdoor nativity scene.

December 18th City of Waukesha
A woman called police and told them she has a secret admirer who has sent her jewelry, a cashmere sweater, and a computer. The caller told an officer she wants police to find out who has been sending the gifts. The officer informed the woman that finding secret admirers isn't a police matter.

December 20th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a possible domestic disturbance after a caller reported hearing a lot of screaming and a thumping sound. When police arrived they found a female who was yelling at her intoxicated husband to get into bed. Meanwhile, the man was lying on the floor naked with a bloody nose after falling to the ground while numerous agitated parakeets were loose and flying above him.

December 24th City of Oak Creek
An officer responding to a report of a suspicious person sitting inside a parked vehicle in front of a home on Christmas Eve discovered the occupant of the vehicle was...Santa Claus. Santa told police he was going to make an appearance at a Christmas party nearby and had parked his car down the road so the children at the party would not see him before he arrived.

December 22nd Village of Germantown
A woman reported her son was licked by a golden Labrador retriever while his bus was stopped at a residence. The owner of the dog was warned about letting his dog get on the school bus.

December 28th Village of Biron
A caller reported a man walking in the road, carrying a plate of food and making obscene gestures at passing drivers.

December 25th City of Beaver Dam
A 57-year-old woman called police to report that a man and woman were knocking on her door and singing Christmas carols. The woman told police she thought it seemed extremelly suspicious.

December 24th Dane County
Police were called to a bar after a patron became incensed and threw a beer bottle in the direction of the bartender's head when she changed the bar music from Black Sabbath to Christmas songs. As the culprit was being directed out of the bar before police arrived, he managed to pull down the Christmas tree, breaking several ornaments in the process.

December 31st City of Menasha
A Geneva Street resident called police because she was upset there was a mouse in her cupboard.

December City of Sheboygan
And 19th Street resident reported the neighbors were throwing footballs at their house. Moments later, the neighbors called and said the original caller was threatening to blow up their house.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:55 am Comment On This Post