December 17th City of Germantown
A passer-by called police to report a mannequin in a Chicago Bears jersey was hanging upside-down from a railroad crossing The Chicago Bear mannequin was removed and properly disposed of.

December 12th City of Neenah
Officers responded on a report from a business on Opportunity Way of a client threatening to shoot staff and making a gun with his fingers and yelling “bang” while pointing at people.

December 31st City of Shawano
A man called the Sheriff’s Department and asked to have someone take my drug addled wife. The man told the dispatcher that his wife is “all high” and being a “crabby bitch”.

December 30th City of Shawano
Police received a report just past midnight of someone in a red Chevy traveling down South Airport Drive on the wrong side of the road….in reverse.

December 25th City of Schofield
A 31-year-old man arrested on a charge of domestic disorderly after police were called to a report of a man who threw a potato peeler through the window of a home.

December 24th City of Menomonee Falls
A 48-year-old woman was arrested for disorderly conduct for ripping lights off a Christmas wreath at her mother’s house.

December 6th City of Brown Deer
Two 15-year-old girls were mailed citations for disorderly. One of the girls was drinking juice from a box when the other girl confronted her about which was the best juice to drink — a generic or a brand juice? That girl then knocked the juice out of the other’s hand. No injuries were reported.

December 22nd City of Waukesha
A woman called police about a domestic dispute over her husband being “unreasonable” in his requests regarding her cooking for his family for Christmas dinner.

December 23rd City of Waukesha
A resident called police to report hearing arguing and “things and/or people being thrown around” in a nearby apartment. Police made contact with a male and female who said they were arguing “over the fact that he did not propose to her.” The man said he was going to propose the in March when the couple goes to Las Vegas.

December 26th  City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man in a Mercury reportedly yelling, swearing and throwing snow at a snow plow driver. The man told police he sees the snowplow drivers 'sloughing off' all the time and he was 'pissed' off about it.

January 2nd City of Portage
Police responded to a report of a 77-year-old woman who was yelling and throwing barstools because she was upset about ice in an ally.

January 3rd City of Portage
A 29-year-old woman was arrested on a charge of domestic disorderly conduct after she allegedly struck a man three times because she was upset at not getting what she wanted from Taco Bell.

December 30th City of Fond du Lac
A 54-year-old allegedly left a threatening message on the Fond du Lac public works director’s phone. On the message, the man stated he was very upset about the city pushing snow into his driveway while plowing. The man stated that “somebody is going to get hurt,” if snow continued to be pushed into his driveway by snowplows and he was “going to find the snowplow operator and it’s going to be ugly.”

December 31st Town of Grand Rapids
A caller reported a man on a riding lawnmower trying to get out onto the ice on Lake Wazeecha. An officer talked to the man, who said he was riding the lawnmower out to get his tip-ups.

November 15th City of Chilton
A welfare check was requested for a 23-year-old woman who had been sitting in a lawn chair in front of the movie theater for four and a half hours. The woman told the responding officer that she HAD to be the first person in the theater for the premier of the new Twilight movie.

December 11th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported someone in a Santa suit throwing snowballs at vehicles and making inappropriate hand gestures…especially for Santa Claus.

December 9th City of Fond du Lac
An employee of the Gemini Circle group home called police to report the theft of a 7-foot gingerbread man. Anyone seeing a suspicious-looking 7-foot gingerbread man is encouraged to contact the Fond du Lac police.

December 11th City of Portage
Police responded to a report of a man running up and down an apartment hallway while yelling. Police were told the man was also throwing CD cases and disposable razors.

December 6th City of Waukesha
Police received a report of a man opening packages of women's underwear in a Family Dollar Store. The man said “he was purchasing the underwear for his girlfriend and wanted to see the actual size.” The man paid for the four packages of open underwear and left.

December 8th City of Waukesha
Officers responded to a report of a man and a woman “having oral sex in the laundry”.

December 12th City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police received a report of a disturbance with a lot of yelling and a chair flying. Officers determined it was just a loud discussion.

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall who made a big to do this week about the fact that he doesn’t like the Green Bay Packers. REALLLLLLY? Now I know Marshall is sort of new to this, just having joined the Bears this season, but I would have thought someone might have taken him aside by now and mentioned that THAT’S THE WAY IT SUPPOSED TO BE, DOUCHE BAG!

The Bears hate the Packers. The Packer hate the Bears. That’s not news. That’s the facts of life. It’s been that way for 91 frickin’ years. Hell, it was already that way almost 2 decades before Mike Ditka was even a glimmer in his father’s lazy eye.

Do you think the rivalry between the Packers and the Bears has been the longest and most intense in the history of the NFL because they LOVE each other? If that were the case, George Hallas and Vince Lombardi would be in Washington state right now tying the knot.

There’s no need to make some proclamation that you-don’t-like-the-Green-Bay-Packers. It’s the natural order of things. As a Chicago Bear, you’re not expected to like the Packers any more than a cobra is expected to like a mongoose, than the Hatfields are expected to like the McCoys or than Jay Cutler is expected to like the sand in his vagina. Get used to it or get out!

So,

For mistakenly believing that what comes out of his own mouth is any more insightful than what comes out of his ass.

For being more clueless than even the Jon Bonet Ramsey Homicide investigators ever were.

And for apparently thinking he’s the first Bear player to ever sip from the cup of Packer Haterade.

We are proud to name Chicago Bear Brandon Marshall as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week.

As we celebrate Aaron Rodger's day all over the state of Wisconsin, let's not forget about another NFC North quarterback who constantly reminds why us we should be grateful for having a quarterback like Aaron Rodgers.

In appreciation for Cutler making Rodgers look so good, Rick and Len have "honored" him with a song on Bears week.

Listen here.

November 23rd City of Portage
Officers responded to a 911 hang-up call from someone who was upset because they could not find the show “Ghost Hunters” on television.

November 14th City of Neenah
Police cited a 32-year-old Menasha woman for shoplifting after she confessed to stealing 13 plastic bookmarks from a store.

November 14th City of Neenah
Officers responded to a 911 call for a disturbance and heard a woman screaming upon arrival. Officers determined the woman and her live-in boyfriend were arguing over what TV show to watch. Both were warned about their behavior.

November 19th City of Hales Corners
A woman called police to report the theft of her socks and kitchen strainer. An extra police watch was requested for her home.

November 17th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a possible drug deal in progress after seeing five cars pull up next to a silver Blazer and pull away. Responding officers found a group of cheerleaders participating in a scavenger hunt.

November 19th City of Waukesha
A caller reported seeing a man was reportedly walking wearing all black and carrying a samurai sword. Police questioned the man and found he was he was walking to work as he regularly does and carrying an umbrella, not a sword.

November 20th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a man and woman arguing and “slamming things around the apartment”.  Responding officers found the man was apparently worked up over a basketball game on TV and throwing a stress ball off the wall, while the female was yelling at him to stop.

November 23rd City of Portage
Police investigated a report of a person who called a local retail outlet and said he would have a gun in his car if the store did not have the television advertised in a Black Friday sale in stock.

November 13th City of Brown Deer
An 18-year-old man was arrested for theft from his employer, Pick ’n Save. The man admitted “discounting purchases” made by another man who most often purchased corn beef saying that man was “a very good cook” and fed the employee.

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenies of the Week…the Chicago Bears. Let me explain. This week, Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall told a reporter he knows of players who take Viagra before a game because they think it gives them “an edge”. Now, while Marshall didn’t specifically say that it was any of his teammates that were doing it, for our purposes, we can only assume.

So,

For giving a whole new meaning your receivers going “long”.

For taking extreme measures to get their defense to stiffen up for a goal line stand.

And

For claiming it’s to give them “an edge” when I’d be willing to bet it’s just to give Jay Cutler an excuse for why he gets a chubby every time a big sweaty player pounces on him.

We are proud to name the Chicago Bears as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR LOSING POWERBALL TICKET


10. Use it as a bookmark in your copy of Winning the Lottery for Dummies.

9. Use it as a coaster for all the beers you’re drinking to forget how much you wasted on f’n lottery tickets.

8. Write a note to your boss on it apologizing for telling him to stick your job up his butt yesterday since you didn’t need it anymore because you were going to win the lottery.

7. Use it as toilet paper (though to be honest, you should have just wiped you ass with the two dollar bills you bought the ticket with since you were basically just flushing it down the toilet anyway).

6. Use it as kindling to start a fire to burn down your house so you can use the insurance money to buy more losing lottery tickets.

5. Throw it out your car window while passing a cop and receive a ticket for littering which will have only a slightly less of a chance of winning you 580 million dollars than your actual lottery ticket did.

4. Keep it in a frame in a highly visible spot in your home as a constant reminder of what a disappointment it was the same way my mother used to keep pictures of me.

3. Roll it and use it a holder for the cigarette butts you’re picking up because you can’t afford to buy your own since you blew all your cash on lottery tickets.

2. Send it to the little African kid you’re sponsoring for just 33 cents a day to show him why he’s not going to eat this week.

1. Lick it and stick it to your forehead. See if you feel like even more of an idiot than you did for wasting your money on the ticket in the first place.

WHAT I’M GOING TO MISS ABOUT THE 2012 ELECTION SEASON



10. Watching Obama’s ears flap in the breeze during windy outdoor rallies.

9. All the exercise my thumb gets hitting the fast forward and mute buttons on my TV/DVR remote.

8. Not putting my clean dishes away just in case Paul Ryan drops by unannounced to rewash them.

7. Donald Trump proving you don’t have to work for America’s biggest fast-food burger chain to become the nation’s most famous clown.

6. Saving money on toilet paper thanks to stacks of campaign brochures piling up daily in my mailbox.

5. Never having to set my alarm clock because I know I’ll be awakened before long by a phone call from some pre-recorded douchebag.

4. Watching Mitt Romney periodically check his nose during debates to see if it’s growing.

3. Listening to the sound of Joe Biden’s cackling laugh and trying to decide if someone said something funny or if he’s just off his meds.

2. Picturing Tommy Thompson and Tammy Baldwin doing it as a way to induce vomiting after accidental poisonings.

1. Who am I kidding? Not a frickin’ thing!!!

October 13th City of Fox Point

A man was arrested for drunken driving after he appeared to be sleeping and police had to knock on the roof of the car to awaken him. He was taken for a blood draw and when the doctor asked if he’d been drinking, answered “I’m livin’ the dream.” The man then asked if anyone around him at the hospital “wanted to do some shots.”

October 6th City of Neenah

A woman called police to report that she could hear voices in her back yard at 3 a.m. Police responded to the area and found a 19-year-old man lying in the grass who told them he was left there by friends. The man was highly intoxicated and thought he was in Oshkosh.

October 22nd Village of Gresham

A caller told police they caught someone spitting on their mail.

October 22nd Town of Seneca

A man called police to report someone had stolen a culvert on Ridge Road.

October 24th City of Wisconsin Rapids

A woman reported to police that her neighbor was yelling at her because she was yelling at her own children. The neighbor then called and reported the first caller is always yelling and started yelling at him after he asked her to stop yelling.

October 12th City of Glendale

A 50-year-old woman was arrested for drunken driving and refusal to take a breath test after she was found “passed out” in her running car at a gas station. After failing field sobriety tests, she called one officer names and then asked another to go out with her on a date.

October 17th City of Waukesha

A woman called police to report that sometime back in August someone stole her tooth from her purse She suspected the tooth thief was her homeless sister.

October 17th City of Waukesha

Customers at a business on West Avenue were almost hit by golf balls hit by customers at another West Avenue business.

October 24th City of Portage

Police took a report of a stone buck statue that was damaged when a living buck tried mating with a nearby stone doe statue.

October 25th City of Wisconsin Rapids

A man called police to report seeing something orange floating in the water near the Riverview Expressway bridge. Responding officers discovered it was a toy.

 

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…The Capitol police officer who was terminated this past week after he accidentally fired his weapon inside the Wisconsin Governor’s Mansion. Neither Governor Walker or his family were at home at the time.

So,

For shooting off his weapon in an area usually more associated with politicians shooting off their mouths.

For making as many holes in the Governor’s mansion as most our governors have had in their heads.

And for being responsible for the most embarrassing accidental discharge in a government residence since Bill ruined Monica’s dress.

We are proud to name the Capitol police officer who accidentally discharged his weapon in Wisconsin Governor’s Mansion as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…Jeffrey L. Manke of Oshkosh who was busted for speeding in Fond du Lac county last year. This week, Manke appeared before a state appeals court where he argued that Wisconsin's speeding statutes don’t pertain to him because they prohibit a PERSON from speeding. He contends his Bible studies show he is a “man”, not a “person”. Allow me to repeat that. He is a man, NOT A PERSON. Interesting distinction.

So,

For presenting an argument that proves that he doesn’t understand that justice is blind…not crazy.

For claiming he’s “a man not a person” which is like claiming he is a moron not idiot when clearly, both descriptions seem fitting.

And for trying to use the bible to talk his way out of a traffic ticket which, I’m guessing works about as well as trying to use the Wisconsin Drivers Instruction Manual to talk his way out of Hell.

We are proud to name Jeffrey L. Menke of Oshkosh as this week’s Rick and Len Show….WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

One pundit last night was saying that we need another Presidential debate. Yeah, like Illinois needs another a-hole!

But then I thought, maybe he’s right here’s the top 10…

REASONS WE NEED A 4TH PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

10. The two hours the debates are on is the only time there isn’t a frickin’ singing competition on TV.

9. At least they’re slightly less painful than watching the Bears win.

8. There are probably still a couple more elderly news men who still haven’t moderated one.

7. I can bake frozen pizzas by just setting them in front of my TV and letting the residual heat from the candidates’ intense burning hatred for each other do the job.

6. One more debate might just be enough for me to finally make a decision… to take my own life.

5. Without debates to mock, Saturday Night Live more likely to do more of those pointless “What’s up with that?” sketches.

4. My neighbors will be lost without the rhythmic sound of me banging my head against the wall that lulls them to sleep at night.

3. The debates are best forum we have for bucking up the nation’s floundering bunting and podium industries.

2. Without the debates, we’d have to watch a Jermichael Finley highlight reel to see someone drop the ball as much these guys.

1. The time the debates are on are the only two hours all week I can turn on the TV without being bombarded with Obama and Romney ads.

According to an article in the Post Crescent this weekend, Grand Chute has become prostitution central.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE APPLETON AREA HAVING SO MANY ESCORTS

10. Otherwise, you’d have to go to city hall if you want to get jerked around.

9. Without area escort services Minnesota Vikings would refuse to stay at the Paper Valley Hotel.

8. Only other private pole dancers presently available for hire in the area are the Borgajewski Sisters who do one hell of a polka.

7. Not everybody can wait for Timber Rattlers’ Wednesday home games to get a bang for their buck.

6. Some guys are tired of the downtown hot dog vendor being the only person in town you can pay to handle your wiener.

5. Without escorts, if you’re seeking trampy looking women with too much make-up willing who do degrading things for money in Appleton, you have to stare in the window of the NBC 26 downtown studio while they’re doing the news.

4. Gives pathetic area losers a number to call other than the WIXX request line.

3. Without escorts, the only other thing a guy in the Appleton area can pay for that leaves him with feelings of disappointment, humiliation and self-loathing is the Post Crescent.

2. Former Appleton mayor Dorothy Johnson could use the extra cash.

1. It’s just nice to have somebody other than just me and Len who get paid to suck!

October 6th City of Hales Corners
A resident called police to report that seeing a man sucking on a cucumber near a playground. An officer was unable to locate alleged cucumber sucker.

October 7th City of Shawano
A South Lafayette Street resident reported a bag of kids toys and coloring books taken from a vehicle.

October 7th City of Shawano
Police were called to West Eagle Street where a homeowner reported soda, beer, and wine coolers were stolen from the garage however some coloring books were left behind.

October 2nd City of Germantown
Police were called to TJ Maxx where someone attempted to set off a stink bomb.  Officers recovered an opened “Fart Bomb” package inside the store, but did not locate a suspect.

October 2nd City of Oak Creek
A female employee at an local café called police to report that a new employee of the restaurant had given her a bear hug and that the force of the hug broke on of her ribs. No charges were brought because the rib appears to have been broken accidentally.

October 7th City of Greenfield
A 12-year-old boy was arrested after allegedly lying to the  manager of an indoor amusement place and claiming to be part of a birthday party group so he could ride the go-carts for free.

September 29th City of Waukesha
Several streets were blocked off after a woman reported seeing a man waving a rifle on a balcony. Police eventually determined it was actually just a man shaking dust off a broom.

September 29th City of Waukesha
A caller, who indicated he has a concealed carry permit, reported that an argument ensued after he drew a gun on four subjects he had confronted for driving recklessly. The caller told police that after the subjects moved on, he “reupholstered his weapon”.

October 5th City of Portage
A Herman Street resident called police to report someone had left a toilet on their front step.

October 10th City of Shawano
A clerk at a grocery store on East Green Bay Street called police to report a man who kept walking around the store and ducking into the women’s bathroom.

October 5th Village of Biron
A caller reported a slow driving vehicle driving on South Biron Drive. A responding deputy found in the occupants of vehicle were Boy Scouts selling popcorn.

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…Andrew Bishop…the 21-year-old Minnesota man who got drunk, broke a window to gain access to the Wisconsin State Capitol Building then passed out on the dome. Not IN the dome. ON the dome! He was found unconscious on the 4th floor rooftop below the dome’s observation deck.

So,

For embarrassing himself at the Wisconsin State Capitol without even bothering to get elected first the way most people who embarrass themselves in that building do.

For slipping into unconsciousness in the most embarrassing place anyone has done so since…well, since the President did it in front a live national television audience at the debate in Denver last week.

And for doing a spot-on impression of Tommy Thompson without even having to utter the words “Packer organininization”. 

We are proud to name Andrew Bishop…the Minnesota man who got drunk, passed out on the dome of the Wisconsin State Capitol Building as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

We are SAD to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…Green Bay Packer Quarterback Aaron Rodgers. (I know. This is killing me!) As you may recall, before the Packers game against the 49er’s in week one, Aaron made a friendly wager with one of the members of the music group Boyz II Men who sang the national anthem. Rodgers agreed to wear a Niners’ jersey if the Packers lost, which of course they did. It’s now been nearly two weeks and Rodgers has given no indication that he is planning to make good on the bet. As a result, a San Francisco eatery has even started serving an Aaron Rodgers’ Chicken Sandwich. Dude, I don’t want to see you in a Niner’s jersey any more than the next Packer fan, but you gotta man up on this one! A bets a bet, man. And welching on a bet can only bring some bad karma.

So,

For apparently taking redesigning the Packer uniform into his own hands and adding a yellow stripe down the back.

For making it appear to the world that his favorite grape jelly is Welches.

And for putting us in a more uncomfortable position than missionary under Rosie O’Donnell.

We are SAD to name bet welcher Aaron Rodgers as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week 41-year old Rodney Schreiber, who has been charged with stealing more than $20,000 from a kid’s baseball program. Appleton Police arrested 41-year-old Schreiber for allegedly embezzling the money from the Fox Valley Youth Baseball League. Schreiber was in charge of handling the league's money. When the league tried paying for tournaments and umpire fees in July and August, checks started coming back. Schreiber reportedly gambled the money away at area casinos.

So,

For not understanding that advancing to the next base while the pitcher is delivering the ball to home plate is the only acceptable form of stealing in baseball.

For dipping into the league’s pitcher which could lead him to a prison where he’ll find out what it’s like to be the cell block’s catcher.

For committing an act that could mean 5 to 10 years before he’s “OUT!”

We are proud to name Rodney Schreiber as this week’s Rick and Len…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

August 26th City of Waukesha
A male driver who was stopped in traffic told police his 90-year-old mother in the car was pregnant. The man then told police he would take his mother home after realizing that she was not actually with child.

September 7th City of Shawano
A West Oak Avenue caller told police a man stuck his hand inside her dog door and asked if he could use her phone. The woman declined. Since all she saw of the man was his hand, the best description she could give police was “he had really long fingers.” 

September 7th City of Fond du Lac
A 21-year-old man was cited for shoplifting after being recognized on surveillance footage because he had filled out an employment application to work there earlier that week.

September 7th City of Sheboygan
Police received a call concerning a candy bar that was reportedly stolen from a van by a passenger.

September 6th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A person near the intersection of 11th Street North and Baker Street called police to report seeing a man throw a fish down the sewer drain.

September 3rd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report someone had left a picture of a cat in her yard.

September 2nd Town of Saratoga
A resident on South Young Street reported a car at the end of the road had been there for four hours. A man inside the car said he was just listening to the radio and would call his parents for a ride when he was done.

September 4th  Town of Saratoga
A woman called police and reported someone threatened her and stole a pink cow from her yard.

September 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported a woman acting “not normal” at a local business. She was reportedly walking fast and screaming at children. A responding officer determined the woman was just excited.

September 6th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A 22nd Avenue resident called police to report hearing yelling and fighting. Police found the source of the noise was children playing in the bathtub.

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week….Richard Lisko of Campbellsport and Joel Kennedy Sr. of New Berlin, the two men who allegedly allowed a dog to attack Kennedy’s 18-year-old son as a method of trying to get the teen to admit he had been stealing from Lisko. According to the police report, Lisko gave the command for his Argentine Mastiff to attack the teen, tied his feet and dragged him onto the porch where the dog attacked him. Lisko then allegedly tied the teen upside down to a support beam and made the dog attack again all while his father watched. The son continues to maintain his innocence.

So,

For not understanding that siccing a dog on a teen who you think might have stolen from you is not what McGruff means by “take a bite out of crime”.

For using a style of interrogation that should only be utilized by journalists trying to get straight answers out of candidates during presidential debates.

And for, in the case of Kennedy, exhibiting parenting skills that would even leave Casey Anthony appalled.

We are proud to name Richard Lisko and Joel Kennedy Sr., the two men who allegedly allowed a dog to attack Kennedy’s 18-year-old son in Fond du Lac County as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIES OF THE WEEK.

August 6th Town of New Holstein
Officers responded to a noise complaint near Fur Farm Road. The owner told police she was playing the radio loudly to keep the raccoons out of her corn field. While she wanted to keep playing the radio to ward off the raccoons, she agreed to turn it down.

August 11th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a call from a woman who was upset because someone had written on her car window. The woman was able to remove the writing without any damage to the vehicle. The message written on the window read “douche learn how to park”.

August 12th City of Waukesha
A man called police and reported his ex-girlfriend was drunk and trying to “maliciously” grab his testicles.

August 15th City of Waukesha
Officers responded to a report of teenage boys yelling obscenities and chasing turkeys with shovels.

August 16th City of Wauwatosa
A Powell Place resident reported someone stole his box of catheters.

August 19th City of Beaver Dam
An East Davis Street resident reported that their neighbor had put an old sofa on the curb for garbage pick-up and now there was a man passed out on it. 

August 21st City of Shawano
Police responded to a report of two girls near Zion church acting “giddy”. According to the caller, the two girls have been “giddy” "for the last half hour". So "Something must be wrong with them."

August 21st City of Wisconsin Rapids
An employee at Copp’s called police to report that a man wearing a stocking cap had dropped his pants in the meat department.

August 20th City of La Crosse
An officer was about to stop a black SUV after noticing a burned out headlamp when the driver pulled into the parking lot outside police headquarters. The driver told the officer she had picked up her husband on Island Street and wanted to drop him off because he was "talking stupidly". The husband was arrested for two outstanding warrants. His wife received a warning for the headlight.