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jun 11th


The Post Crescent has a story concerning the prostitution and human trafficking case against 3 local men. While the details of the case are horrible, one thing stands out. The men reportedly called their operation "PIMPIN' PARTNERS".

PIMPIN’ PARTNERS makes even these truely heinous crimes seem almost happy and lighthearted. Sound likes it could be the name of a CBS sit-com. Sort of like The Bosom Buddies…but, you know, with pimps.

NAMES YOU COULD USE TO MAKE OTHER CRIMES SEEM MORE "FUN"

10. Kidnapin’ Cohorts

9. Burglarin’ Buddies 

8. Hooker Helpers 

7. Assassinatin’Associates

6. Rapin’ Mates

5. Felon Friends

4. Murderin’ Amigos

3. Torturin’ Twosome

2. Homicide Homies

1. Manslaughterin’ Muchachos
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:39 am Comment On This Post

jun 10th
The amazing artist collaboration known as the Steel Bridge Songfest is in full swing as we speak. Songwriters from all over creation are in Sturgeon Bay recording and getting ready for some truly cool live shows Thursday through Sunday in and around town. Saturday night features a tribute to one of the festival's best friends, the late Chris Aaron. Check out the events here:
http://www.steelbridgesongfest.org/home
I've had the pleasure to be involved in this incredible event in years past. It spawns tons of original music and presents most of it live to the public at really supportive venues. They even used me in press materials back in 2007. Here's what I said then and it still rings true now.
"This festival brings it all together...tremendous musical talent, the creative process, social commitment, historic vision and, most of all, a real organic and comfortable vibe. I'm honored to be part of it because I love that old bridge and I love what the organizers and supporters are doing to save it. And making it happen with all that great music is just too cool."
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:53 am Comment On This Post

jun 10th


IS JAY CUTLER THE BEST QUARTERBACK IN THE NFC NORTH? That was a question posed in a headline in  the Chicago Sun-Times this week. Seriously! In a newspaper! That people pay for! What kind of person could possibly believe the answer is "yes"?

Let's take a look.

IF YOU BELIEVE JAY CUTLER IS THE BEST QB IN THE NFC NORTH YOU PROBABLY BELIEVE...

That puddle you stepped in on the street in Fond du Lac was just water.

Tammy Baldwin just hasn’t found the right guy.

The American Picker guys were in the area this weekend because they were trying to find old people with valuable antiques so they could make them rich.

Certain members of the Green Bay city council aren’t actually belligerent and hard to work with, they’re just haven't been themselves because they haven’t had a Snicker’s bar.

Former House speaker Dennis Hastert only paid a former student 1.7 million dollars in hush money to make him keep quiet about what a great teacher and coach he was.

The Clinton family has fewer skeletons in their closet than an over stocked Halloween Express.

That cop at that pool party in Texas only pinned that girl to the ground to stop her going in the water without waiting a half hour after eating.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:37 am Comment On This Post

jun 9th
Today I was able to try to newest Hardee's Thickburger...The Most American Thickburger. This bad boy has a one-third or one-half  pound buger on it with lettuce, tomato and cheese...plus potato chips AND a split hot dog. All on the same bun.
My initial reaction to the idea was that it was just ridiculous but then, the more I thought about, I said why not?
It works...and beautifully! It's like the Fourth of July in one single sandwich.
Many think the USA is invincible because of our military might. I now believe we cannot be defeated by any nation on earth because of the Hardee's Most American Thickburger.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:47 pm Comment On This Post

jun 9th


Send us your favorite golf joke (no cartoons!) and if we use it on air during the Rick and Len Show broadcast from the Woodward Radio Group Forgotten Fire Winery Golf Classic, you could win $100 cash! Click here to submit your golf joke.

The Woodward Radio Group Forgotten Fire Winery Golf Classic is Thursday June 18th at Mid ValleeGolf Course in DePere.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:39 am Comment On This Post

jun 8th
Seasonal allergy sufferers will tell you that this spring has been a bad one for the sniffles, sneezes and general discomfort which comes from pollen in the air. I seem to have developed some allergy to it over the years and it gets worse every year. This morning, for instance, I felt like I had a bale of cotton wadded up in my head. But I'm not sure the way I feel today is because pollen. I think it's because of lint. Seriously.
I discovered on Saturday that the dryer vent which has to travel an eight-foot span along my basement ceiling had come loose at some point in the last few weeks. That means there was a pretty decent amount of dryer lint which had just emptied itself in that area. So, I got a new semi-flexible vent tube and began to install it. This was not an easy job because the designers of the house thought it would be hilarious to put the connection points in the most difficult to get to places imaginable. That meant I had to get shoulders-deep into the linted-up shelving which I has climbed up onto to clamp the new vent in place. That resulted in immediate sneezing, wheezing and the feeling that I had a headful of gunk.
Conclusion (at least the narrative I've told my wife) : I must be allergic to dryer lint so sorry, honey, but I can never do another load of laundry again. It's bad for my health. New dryer vent and an excuse to avoid doing another household chore. Win win.


posted by: Rick And Len at 11:06 am Comment On This Post

jun 8th


May 22nd City of Greenfield
A woman called 911 to complain that the fish she bought at a local seafood store was bad. The caller was advised that bad fish was not an emergency, therefore, not an acceptable use of 911.

May 20th City of Waukesha
Officers responded to a domestic disturbance call after a man and his girlfriend began fighting. The man became angry after the woman wouldn't have sex with him. The woman reportedly had told the man that if he didn't get her cigarettes he wasn't "getting any."

May 27th Village of Shorewood
A female resident reported a call from a man who told her he admired her and when asked who he was he said “I can’t tell you”. He also said he didn’t like “her walk” and they would “have to work on that.”

May 28th City of Germantown
Police responded to a residence after a caller reported a man wearing a white tank top and jean shorts lighting off firecrackers at about 4:20 a.m.. Police located the suspect, a 31-year-old man, who admitted lighting off the fireworks because, he said it calmed his nerves.

May 10 Village of Oregon
A 34-year-old man went into the bank and asked the staff how they would feel if someone shot up a café or school before leaving. The man said he was just opening people's eyes about bad things that happen.

June 2nd Dane County
The 57-year-old pastor of a church was the victim of an armed robbery. According to police, the culprits made off with the pastor's wallet....and Bible.

June 2nd Dane County
Three men walking in a grassy area told police they were nearly hit by a car after the driver steered it off the roadway and at the pedestrians. The men were able to step out of the way. The driver, who is acquainted with at least one of the victims, told police he was just trying to make a point. It was not clear what point that was but, according to police, it had something to do with President Obama, Pontius Pilate, and "Planet Armenia."

May 31st Dane County
A 51-year-old woman reported the theft of a "big, mature, blue and green agave plant from her yard". The plant was described as being 4 feet wide, 4 feet tall, really heavy ... with 9 to 10 long pointy leaves with spines at the end of each branch. According to police, "no signs of struggle were visible" during the plant napping.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:15 am Comment On This Post

jun 4th
My father was a railroad man. Worked as a brakeman on passenger trains for the Great Northern Railroad for a few years and then toiled as a brakeman and freight train conductor for the Soo Line for decades more. He was involved in several derailments caused by automobile drivers who either stopped on tracks or pulled around crossing arms. He suffered a serious back injury in one of them which affected him for the rest of his life and that crash took the lives of the driver of the car and his passenger. That's why I take seriously the lessons he taught me about not messing with railroad tracks and railroad crossings. I see such a potential disaster all the time, particularly in downtown Appleton at the intersection of College Avenue and Richmond Street where there is a diagonal railroad crossing, too. Just today I was following a line of cars which filled both lanes as we approached a red traffic light. There is room for one, maybe two cars ahead of the tracks and before the intersection. Every driver but me just kept going, pullling right up behind the car ahead of them...and stopping directly on the tracks. The cars behind those drivers pulled up past the crossing arms (which stayed up, fortunately) and stopped only a few feet short of the cars which were straddling the tracks, boxing them in completely. I swear my blood pressure jumped 100 points as we all waited for the lights to change...most other drivers in such a hurry that they couldn't wait 30 feet and one or two seconds back from the tracks and probably oblivious to the danger they had put themselves and others in...and me hoping fervently that no train would be coming. In times like that I have to fight the urge to get out of my car, run up to their windows and scream at them to pay attention. We can't prevent alll accidents but car/train collisions are easy to avoid. Unless you're already brain dead, I guess. Seriously, people...NEVER stop on railroad tracks.
posted by: Rick And Len at 4:01 pm Comment On This Post

jun 4th
First things first...if a scandal involving hundreds of millions of dollars and a guy who had so much kickback cash he could afford a $6,000 a month apartment for his cats doesn't spark American;s interest in soccer, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!



However, that said...here are some suggestions to replace Sepp Blatter as the new head of FIFA.

CANDIDATES TO BE THE NEW HEAD OF FIFA

AL GORE...because he would be perfect to head the governing body for soccer since his years warning us about global climate change have prepared him for dealing with subjects American just don't care about.

KIM KARDASHIAN OR JERRY JONES... because you're going to need an enormous ass to replace FIFA's outgoing enormous ass and these are two of America's biggest.

WISCONSIN SENATOR TAMMY BALDWIN...because she can relate to soccer players everywhere since she doesn't use her hands on balls either.

FORMER PACKER BRANDON BOSTICK...because he has to be better at handling kick backs than he is at handling kick-offs. .

CAITLYN JENNER...because with Sepp Blatter planning to step down from their presidency later this year, FIFA, like Caitlyn, will both soon have a new opening.
posted by: Rick And Len at 5:03 am Comment On This Post

jun 3rd
Have you tuned in yet to the newest program on 105-7 WAPL? It's called Home Brewed and it features the music of Wisconsin musicians. Home brewed airs Saturday mornings at 9 a.m. It's hosted by yours truly, Len Nelson, and it's produced by John Jordan. We both knew that Wisconsin is full of incredible music but it wasn't until word started getting around about the show and bands started flooding us with their stuff that we realized just how deep the talent pool is. Check it out. Chances are good that you'll hear one or more of your favorite local bands and chances are even better that you'll hear something you don't know but like. Then you can go see that band because we do our best to let you know where and when Home Brewed artists are playing in our area. You can find out all about the show, who we're playing next, how to submit material and how to listen to past episodes on our Home Brewed web page. http://www.wapl.com/index.php/On-Air/Home_Brewed Home Brewed is also proud to announce that Stone Arch Brewery in Appleton has signed on to sponsor the show! Our slogan is "Local. Original. Refreshing." We hope you'll take a sip.
posted by: Rick And Len at 7:15 pm Comment On This Post

jun 2nd


May 22nd Dane County
A woman told police she was touched inappropriately by a stranger. The woman told police the culprit was a white male in his 50s with long, dark, curly hair, wearing a blue kimono with a flower design. The witness said the suspect looked like "an overweight Alice Cooper".

May 16th City of Shawano
An employee of a convenience store on East Green Bay Street called police to report that two men and a woman entered the store, walked down the snack aisle together, took a stick of beef jerky and hid it.

May 10th City of Menasha
A caller reported someone entered a vehicle while it was parked in the driveway on Kaukauna Street and made off with a tea kettle, cheese graters and French coffee press.

May 14th City of Waukesha
A resident called police to report seeing a man who seemed confused and lost as he was walking down the highway. Police learned the man just wanted to purchase a comb from Kwik Trip. The officer ended up purchasing a comb for the man, which made him very happy.

May 24th Town of Richfield (Wood. County)
A man called police to report his wife was being unruly. The caller said the woman shoved him, smashed some groceries on the floor, and threw a frying pan with everything in it out the front door.

May 11th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a woman came to her apartment door and screamed at her at the top of her lungs and threatened her after finding tomatoes smashed on her vehicle. However, there was no evidence the caller was responsible for any of the tomato smashing.

May 9th City of Waukesha
A caller reported two people were throwing food outside from the second-floor balcony and hitting his car. The upstairs neighbor told the responding officer that his son threw one pancake off The balcony to feed the birds but it did not hit the caller's vehicle.

May 9th City of Waukesha
A caller reported to police that while he was taking a bike ride with his daughter his neighbor chased after him with a wrench. The man told officers that his neighbor may have thought the caller spit on him. However, the neighbor said the caller is just drunk and causing problems in the neighborhood.

May 16th City of Cudahy
A 45-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct. According to police reports the man was throwing pieces of concrete and yelling loudly, while he drank a can of malt liquor. He told police he was “mad at the world and wanted to be arrested before he did something really bad.”

May 16th Town of Brookfield
Police were called to the scene of a fight in progress at Chuck E Cheese. The fight began when two children began to push and yell at another child. Parents and adults accompanying the children then became involved in an argument that consisted of a lot of yelling, racial slurs, two pepper shakers being thrown, and a bowl of bacon being used as a weapon.

May 6th Sauk City
Police responded to a complaint of a smell of burning plastic coming from a clothes dryer in an apartment building. Upon arrival, police found no odor and the dryer was not hot. The call or was actually just angry because the dryer was so full.

May 7th Sauk City
A homeowner called police and reported that someone came into their backyard and disturbed their patio furniture. The homeowner reported that one chair was placed in a hot tub, another chair was placed on front steps of the residence and two chairs and a table were moved to a corn field.
posted by: Rick And Len at 4:56 am Comment On This Post

may 29th


Wisconsin celebrates a birthday today. Our state is officially 167 years old having been admited to the union on May 29, 1848. Here are some...

SIGNS WISCONSIN IS GETTING OLD 

10. Community once known as Dar-BOY now known as Dar-CODGER.

9. What was once a Manito-woc has slowed to, at best, a Manito-waddle.

8. Since menopause, has had to rename city "no longer producing Eggs Harbor".

7. It has a harder time controlling it's bowels apparently due to its Grand Chute keeps getting bigger.

6. Despite its persistence that "it's not a Tomah"... it is a Tomah.

5. Boulder Junction is now best known as a description of the point where the state's kidney stones enter it's urethra.

4. Can no longer remember the answer to the question Wey-auwega?

3. Realizing that it's not getting any younger, Dykesville no longer claims it was just a phase that went through in college and has finally come out and admitted a lifelong attraction to Bailey and her harbor.

2. Sherwood now only sure with help from Viagra.

1. AL now has to get up 10 times night to GO-MA.

(Boy, what that stupid!)
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:37 am Comment On This Post

may 29th
                                 

We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…the unidentified man who was arrested after reportedly pulling a handgun and brass knuckles on another man while on the Wiouwash Trail in Hortonville Saturday in a dispute over…a dog leash. The man with the gun had already fled when deputies arrived but they were able to find and arrest him.

So,

For behavior that makes you wonder what end of the leash the man belongs on.

For reportedly pulling a gun at the slightest provocation which leads one to believe he must have a trigger finger that’s itchier than the balls of a guy after he bangs a Kardashian.

And for thinking he could get away because he apparently didn't realize that whenever you depart the Wiouwash...you are always leaving a trail. (rim shot)

We are proud to name the unidentified man who was arrested      after allegedly pulling brass knuckles and a handgun on another man while on the Wiouwash Trail in a dispute over…a dog leash as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:21 am Comment On This Post

may 28th


WHERE THE HELL DID MAY GO?

Am I the only one for whom May just seemed to fly by? It seems like it was just May 4th and WOOOOOSH, here it is, the ass end of the month. What the hell did I do all month?

Spent most of one day bitching about how tedious the choreography was on Dancing With the Stars until I realized I had been watching the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.

Spent 5 days trapped in Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt’s thick, overgrown eyebrows and another two days lost in his dreamy eyes.  

Spent two days just shaking my head after Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee choose the unusual campaign strategy of courting the admitted child molester vote.  

Spent one day getting an invasive internal ultrasound because Governor Walker told me it’s a “cool thing” to do.

Spent most of a weekend actively NOT caring about the birth of England’s latest mewling royal, inbred crotch-fruit.

Spent three days bird watching: one day at Mosquito Hill Nature preserve to watching birds nesting, one day at the Oconto Marsh watching birds mate and one day at the Green Bay City Council Chamber watching birds being flipped at constituents by alderman Guy Zima.

Sent most of 10 days just deleting LinkedIn invites.

Spent 4 days trying to figure out who to support for president  before deciding I'll vote for a New England Patriots football because unlike all the announced candidates, at least it's not FULL of hot air.    -Rick-
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:21 am Comment On This Post

may 27th

The Associated Press is reporting that many porn stars don't like California's proposed regulations. Sex performers would even be required to wear protective eye gear in some situations. The porn stars say if the new rules go in effect their adult videos will look like medical shows. Here are some more safety guidelines for porn.


NEW PORN INDUSTRY SAFETY RULES

10. Actresses must lift with their legs not their back when handling Ron Jeremy’s penis.

9. Make sure to wash your hands before sticking a finger in somebody's butt.

8. Performers must at all times wear skid-resistant work boots to avoid slipping in puddles of fluids.

7. Spilled fluids should be cleaned up immediately from floors, work surfaces...faces, backs and stomachs.  

6. A representative from the ASPCA must be on hand at all times to assure no beavers are harmed in the making of this film.

5. Actresses without shaved hoohas must always wear hairnets.

4. Use barricade tape or orange cones to clearly indicate open holes.

3. Horseplay on the job is forbidden. Donkeys, on the other hand, are okay but only south of the border.

2. Keep all exits, entrances and passageways free of debris.

1. All male performers must have label on their underwear that reads, “may contain choking hazard”.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:28 am Comment On This Post

may 27th


A new poll of favorite and least favorite "smells" in Britain is topped by fresh baked bread and garbage bins, respectively. Check out the full list? What is your favorite and least favorite smells?
posted by: Rick And Len at 5:16 am Comment On This Post

may 26th


May 15th City of Germantown
An intoxicated man was asked to leave an elementary school after he made inappropriate comments to a teacher during an evening event. Police were told that the man made other parents feel uncomfortable when he told a female teacher that he would eat pie filling off her face.

May 23rd Town of Dale
The Outagamie County Sheriff’s Department responded to a situation on the Wiouwash Trail. Deputies arrested a man who pulled a handgun and brass knuckles in a dispute over a dog leash.

May 16th City of Waukesha
A woman reported at that a teenage neighbor continues to strike the side of her home when playing basketball in his driveway. She said she has tried speaking with the boy, but he told her that "it's just gravity" and to "let it go." When confronted by police, the boy didn't believe he was in the wrong and also told officers if they gave him a ticket he would write a three-page scientific letter to the judge explaining why it was "gravity's fault" and not his. Police strongly advised the teen to just move his basketball hoop.

May 15th Village of Pewaukee
A woman summoned police, telling a dispatcher that her son was being "held at bay" in the driveway of her home by four young males armed with Nerf guns. The caller also reported that the juveniles were currently in the act of wrapping her car with Saran Wrap. Officers responding to the report of the Nerf gun attack told the boys to stop their activities and leave the area. It was unclear if police confiscated the Nerf guns or the Saran Wrap.

May 15th City of Waukesha
Police were called after a female employee from a lawn service company going door to door reported a male at a residence started to rub on her shoulder and asked her if she wanted to see his two maple trees. The woman told police she felt "creeped out". Officers spoke to the man who said he had no intention to cause her any discomfort and that it was simply his way of telling the woman he wasn't interested in her product.

May 14th City of Waukesha
A woman called police because she said a bar near her apartment was is sending out "vibes," making people sick and brainwashing her family. Police checked and reassured the woman that there were no "vibes" coming through the house.

May 20th Village of Grand Rapids
A woman called police and reported a 10-year-old boy came to her door asking if she needed help with yard work. The woman told police that when she said "no," the boy got on his bicycle and left without stopping at any other homes, which she thought seemed suspicious.

May 18th City of Waukesha
Police were called to break up a physical altercation between an 18-year-old man and his mother. The altercation began when the mother came home and saw the son had not done the dishes.

May 13th City of Germantown

A patrol officer, with assistance from a Wisconsin State trooper, safely escorted several ducks across a busy four lane highway... where they then immediately fell into the sewer. The patrol officer, with the assistance of the Wisconsin State trooper, then successfully rescued the ducks from the sewer.

May 17th City of Waukesha
Police responded to Wendy's after a caller said they saw a man with a gun in the drive-thru. Police found the man, and identified the gun as…an e-cigarette.
posted by: Rick And Len at 10:20 am Comment On This Post

may 22nd
On Wednesday I attended our parent company's annual event which honors those who have been with the company for at least 25 years. For me, it's been 26 years even though I started here at Woodward Radio more than 30 years ago (there were a few years of sabbatical while I figured out that this is the best company to work for and came back).
The dinner is great and they give away some cash prizes. A half-dozen people win $50, someone gets $500 and one lucky son fo a gun takes home $4000. No cash for me but the steak and chicken were good and the Jameson on the rock...not rocks, just one rock is how I like it...was nice.
The name of the event is The Quarter Century Club Gala but the quarter century mark is the  minimum and then you get a lifetime membership. You still get invited even after you've retired. That means there are some seriously old people in attendance. It seems like it's me, a handful of other "new" members and a whole lot of blue-haired ladies and stooped-over men. Then it hits me...I am one of them! OMG!
Look, I'm not ancient (just 54) and I'm not planning to retire anytime soon, but it has to mean something when you start measuring things by the QUARTER CENTURY! Fortunately I work in rock radio and, since rock and roll will never die, I'll never really get old, right? Long Live Rock.
-Len Nelson
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:55 am Comment On This Post

may 22nd


This week, the Wausau man accused of performing sex acts with a horse back in December was convicted on a related drug charge and sentenced to two years of probation.

Jared Kreft pleaded guilty to possession of marijuana, and as part of a plea agreement, they dismissed charges of bestiality, possession of drug paraphernalia, bail jumping and disorderly conduct. Apparently, Marathon County considers possession of weed as far more serious than a little interspecies carnality.

As you may recall,  at the time of his arrest, Kreft was wearing a face mask (so the horse couldn’t I.D. him?) and blue wind pants with holes cut in the groin and buttocks areas for easy access. According to the police report, he admitted that he had gone to the barn and performed oral sex on the horse and tried arousing the horse using his hands.

Before you get any ideas, here are some...


QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU “YOU KNOW” WITH A HORSE

What is the legal age of consent to “you know” with a horse?

Will being known as the guy who “you knowed” with a horse make me more or less dateable in prison?

Since it’s Marathon County, is it considered weird doing “you know” with a horse that’s not even my sister?

Will getting caught doing “you know” with a horse leave a stain on my permanent record and/or my new shirt?

Will doing “you know” with a horse, make my donkey jealous?

Will gently singing the Mr. Ed theme before you “you know”” with a horse get her in the mood?

Does “neigh” mean “neigh” when doing “you know” with a horse?

Will being known as the guy who got caught doing “you know” with a horse make me the logically choice to be a contestant on the  first season of The Bachelor on Animal Planet?

Will giving a horse a “you know” leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth or just yours?
posted by: Rick And Len at 11:39 am Comment On This Post