According to a FOX 11 report, somebody in the Green Bay area has been trying to sell their 2-year-old boy on Craig's List for $800.00. We, at the Rick and Len Show, would like to make that purchase.
Better we have the kid than have him left in the hands of a lousy parent that is willing to sell him. He could live in the studio and be our intern/mascot.
What would we do with him? Glad you asked!
THINGS WE COULD DO WITH A 2-YEAR-OLD ON THE RICK AND LEN SHOW.
10. Teach him to say funny things like "ass hat" and "douchebag" which sound even funnier when a 2-year-old says them.
9. Package his dirty diapers so we can literally give away boxes of crap.
8. Stuff him in a box in the attic. Release a balloon. Get tons of free publicity from CNN.
7. Put him to work in our sweat shop cranking out more Feces the Clown
6. Give him away as a prize during an on-air contest. Watch our ratings in the coveted 25 to 54 convicted male sex offender demographic go even higher.
5. Put him in front of a microphone as he throws a blubbering tantrum while we take the day off and see if anyone notices the difference.
4. Teach him to use the toilet instead of going in his pants. Hope and pray that Rick learns from his example.
3. Make him listen to WIXX. Wait for social services to have us charged with mistreating a child.
2. Take him to Green Bay City Hall. Watch him tower over the mayor.
1. Give him some paper and a crayon. He's gotta be able to come up with better crap than this!