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aug 2nd 2010

10. Did your mother help you pick out that bridal pant suit?

9. That old silver haired guy playing the saxophone just grabbed my ass.

8. When they said there would be a lot of single ladies, I didn't realize they meant Janet Reno, Donna Shalala and Madeline Albright.

7. Whatever you do, don’t start giving Al Gore a massage.

6. When it came to making the hors d'oeuvres, Hilary said she really enjoyed sticking the toothpicks through all those wieners.

5. I know it was a great bachelor party but for the love of god, will somebody please wipe the smile and stripper glitter off her father's face.

4. Why does Bill keep laughing during the wedding vows?

3. He may not have inhaled the marijuana at Oxford but he sure inhaled that wedding cake.

2. Seriously, the groom's not blind?

1. Why did your dad look so guilty when I pointed out that the chubby bridesmaid had a gooey stain on her dress?
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 2nd 2010

July 27th City of Beaver Dam
A woman on Carrington Street told police that a woman in Las Vegas claimed she was sending an FBI agent to her home to get information about a scam involving the Australian lottery. The Las Vegas woman called again while an officer was at the Carrington Street home and after the police officer identified himself to the caller, she became very irate and began telling him she would cast a spell on him that would make him start bleeding out of the eyes.

July 11th City of Neenah
A caller on Honeysuckle Lane told police she was "play wrestling" with friends shortly after 1 a.m. when her boyfriend came downstairs, got angry and punched a hole in an outside wall.

July 10th Village of Howard
Police were called to a Velp Avenue bar where a 32-year-old man was cited for allegedly slapping the eyeglasses off another man's face.

July 22nd City of Waupun
A woman on Franklin Street called police to report that her children, ages 4 and 7, were playing outside and cars were driving by and splashing water on them. Police found the cars weren’t doing it on purpose; the street was flooded and the kids were playing next to the road. Police advised the children to play by the house and not by the street.

July 21st City of Omro
Police issued a warning to a 17-year-old boy who was spotted throwing a traffic cone into the Fox River. After talking to police, The teen retrieved the cone from the water.

July 12th City of Neenah
Officers responded to a retail theft report from a business in Fox Point Plaza. Two Oshkosh women were caught in the act of shoplifting. A 26-year-old woman was cited for stealing 19 packs of Kool-Aid and a package of cookies. Her 50-year-old accomplice was cited for taking four rolls of toilet paper and a cinnamon streusel.

July 29th City of Portage
Police investigated a report of a possible breaking and entering attempt by cutting a window screen and breaking a lock on a window at an apartment. The responding officer found a naked man walking on the fire exit steps of the building. The man told police he was locked out after taking the garbage outside and said it was his birthday.

July 17th Village of Pulaski
Police responded to a call from Village Auto where someone had stolen a 25-foot inflatable orange gorilla.

July 18th Village of Shorewood
Police took a 56-year-old man to a hospital after he was seen walking down the street with a badly bleeding hand. The man told officers he had purchased a bottle of wine and had to break it open because he didn't have a corkscrew and that's when he cut his hand.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 30th 2010
Fox Valley guitar legend Chris Aaron is coming home with The Bandallamas! This supergroup is opening for Loverboy at Waterfest in Oshkosh Thursday, August 12th and you have a chance to party with the band!

You'll meet Chris as well as Jane Wiedlin (the Go-Gos), Victor DeLorenzo (Violent Femmes), Rob Wasserman (Bob Weir, Van Morrison), Wally Ingram (Sheryl Crow, Jackson Browne, David Lindley), pat mAcdonald (Timbuk 3), Ken Saydak (Johnny Winter, Koko Taylor, Lonnie Brooks), Richard David (Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Steve Miller), Pauli Ryan (Garbage, U2, L7, Son Volt) and the incomparable Bobby Bryan.

Special Bandallamas V.I.P. packages are available now at the Rockin' Apple rate of $105.70.
Packages include Waterfest admission, admission to the V.I.P. meet and greet at Beckett's after the show, the new double cd from Bandallamas, access to a special pre-release download at, a limited edition V.I.P. poster, a Bandallamas t-shirt, a Safe Ride ticket for those in Sturgeon Bay, Waupaca or Waupun plus two drink tickets and appetizers.

Plus, $10 from each package sold goes to the Guitars for Vets program.
Click Here to order your V.I.P. package or to see additional Bandallamas merchandise.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 30th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton police officer who reportedly gave a 22-year-old girl who puked on the curb while waiting for a cab a $200.00 citation for "littering" because, as she was later informed, "puking will not be tolerated in Appleton".


For assuming she was drunk when she may have been just training to be a super model.

For disrupting her while she was in the process of delivering a pavement pizza.

For interfering while she was kindly guiding some emigrants out of Tummyland.

And for violating the girl's right to religious freedom by interrupting her while she was doing the next best thing to praying to the porcelain god, which is giving offerings to the cement deity.

We are proud to name the Appleton police officer who cited the girl for littering because she vomited as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 29th 2010
Bugs Bunny turned 70 this week. You can tell Bugs is getting older since:
a. He keeps taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque.
b. He no longer cares if it’s duck season or rabbit season.
c. The only time he ever says "What's up, doc?" is when his physician is checking his prostate.

Among the celebrities who were NOT invited to Warner Brothers 70th birthday bash for Bugs Bunny was Richard Gere. The reason Gere was not invited was:
a. he's not a fan of Bugs.
b. the violence in the Bugs Bunny cartoons runs counter to his Buddhist beliefs.
c. they didn't want him going home with a wild hare up his ass.

Ryan Seacrest is reportedly "dating" dancer Juliana Hough. The two are a perfect match since:
a. she appears on Dancing with the Stars and he appears on American Idol.
b. she's 5 foot 1 and he's 5 foot 2.
c. she's light on her feet and he's light in his loafers.

Saturday night the Packers are hosting a movie night at Lambeau Field and will show the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The reason they chose this movie was:
a. it's a story about overcoming adversity.
b. it's a family film that's sure to entertain parents and kids alike.
c. it's based on the life of Bears' quarterback Jay Cutler.

Sheboygan officials are reportedly trying to finalize a deal to have a casino built in the city's South Pier District. Some are against the building of a casino in city because:
a. they believe gambling is a sin.
b. they fear it will attract an unsavory element.
c. they believe the last thing Sheboygan needs is more losers.

A man facing the death penalty for a double homicide in Utah wrote a letter to his local newspaper from jail this week complaining about the credibility of the testimony against him and requesting the newspaper editor put Garfield back on their comics page. The main reason he wanted the paper to start running Garfield is:
a. it's just damn funny.
b. he also hates Mondays and loves lasagna.
c. If convicted, Garfield is the last pussy he's ever going to see.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 29th 2010
LINDSEY LOHAN should be at Airventure 2010...because she could get really high without setting off her ankle bracelet.

MEL GIBSON should be at Airventure 2010...where perhaps some experienced stunt pilot could advise him how to pull his a career out of it's nosedive.

SARAH PALIN should be at Airventure 2010... to explain how every time a plane takes off it "refutiates" Newton's Law of Gravity.

THE OCTOMOM should be at Airventure 2010...because they need someplace big enough to park the Goodyear blimp. (and if the pilot could find his keys, he'd fly it out of there)

DICK CHENEY should be at Airventure 2010...because the air shows are so exciting they could give him a pulse.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON should be at Airventure 2010...because most attendees really appreciate a great set of nosecones.

PRESIDENT OBAMA should be at Airventure 2010...because listening to the loud, droning sound of the engines could help prepare him for sitting between Barbara Walters and Joy Behar during his Friday appearance on The View.

TEA PARTY FOUNDER JUSTIN PHILIPS should be at Airventure see if it's even possible to get something off the ground that only has a right wing.

AL GORE should be at Airventure 2010...because it appears that after a "hard-landing" on Tuesday, NASCAR team owner Jack Roush is going to be okay giving that story a happy ending and as we recently learned, Al Gore loves a "happy ending"!
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 29th 2010
Keith Alberstadt will join us in the studio for the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8. Keith, who has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman is appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton through Saturday night.

Tonight is WAPL night at the Skyline. Mention that when you make your reservation at 920-734-JOKE and get 2 for 1 admission.

Here's Keith making his network debut on the Late Show.

posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 28th 2010
Trisha Lynn Kasperek, 24, of Appleton. One of the 4 suspects in Sunday's robbery of the Burger King in the Town of Buchanan.

She has the same look I would have if I saw the Burger King naked!
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 26th 2010
Did you hear about the Fond du Lac wedding this past weekend that lead to 1 noise complaint, 3 domestic disputes, 1 bar fight and a car crash? The Fond du Lac Reporter has all the details but we were wondering, what exactly are the signs your marriage might be off to a bad start?

If you have to pawn your wedding gifts to bail out the mother of the bride...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your wedding has started more fights than a case of cheap Irish whiskey...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you remember the date of your first anniversary because that's the day your best man is getting paroled...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the end of the reception, fewer of your guests have shared the wedding cake than are now sharing a cell with Lindsey Lohan...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the time you say "I do", there are more people in hand cuffs than at a bondage party at George Michael's house...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If instead of clinking their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss, guests just bang their tin cups against the bars on their cell doors...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the priest presiding over the ceremony changes the words "You may kiss the bride" to "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE"...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you choose to get married in a church with a priest but all the guests ended up at a courthouse with a judge...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the bride has her "something old, something new, and something borrowed" but the "something blue" is the flashing lights atop the squad car that keeps carting away the wedding guests...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your guests account for a noise complaint, three domestic disputes, a tavern fight and a hit-and-run crash...your marriage is definitely off to a bad start.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 26th 2010
July 21st City of Stevens Point
An 18-year-old Mosinee man was cited for retail theft after he left Fleet Farm without paying for a pair of fuzzy dice he had concealed in his pants.

July 17th City of Beaver Dam
A 34-year-old man contacted police and reported that he ordered a mail order bride named "Natalia" from Russia and she was suppose to arrive to his home on Madison Street to marry him but she did not show up.

July 20th City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police received an anonymous report of a young female screaming on 12th Street. A responding officer found the screams were coming from a girl...refusing to go to bed.

July 6th City of Appleton
Police received a report of a 22-year-old male on County KK wearing a blue and white football jersey and going door to door asking residents for alcohol.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
A van driver waiting to pick up railroad employees in the Extended Stay Hotel lobby, called police to report a man walked up to her, said he was looking for a good time, flashed some money and licked her ear.

July 18th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report that a man who tried talking to her while shopping threw at tube of toothpaste at her in Walmart.

July 13th Village of Pulaski
Police were called to Colonial Courts where a dispute between a mother and daughter was triggered by the mother's refusal to give the girl money for Dairy Queen.

July 8th City of Glendale
Police received a report of a man who stole sunglasses and jewelry from The Boston Store. The man was described as being intoxicated with a large, wet urine stain in the front of his pants.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
Two 15-year-old Milwaukee girls were arrested for retail theft after they put merchandise valued at $205 in their purses at Macy's. The girls said they were "used to being spoiled" but now their families didn't have as much money to spoil them so they had to steal the items they wanted.

July 8th City of Manitowoc
A man caught shoplifting live worms started a fight with the clerk at an East Street business who tried to prevent him from leaving the store. The man, who already had an outstanding warrant, was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge as well as possession of drug paraphernalia, second-offense possession of alcohol by a minor and retail theft under $10 for the worms. The man admitted he took the worms because he just wanted to go fishing.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 23rd 2010
Here are the Top Ten Signs that we've had TOO MUCH @$*#&%! RAIN!

10) Waterfest is now calling itself Too Much Waterfest.

9) The Fox River Mall has taken the word "Mall" off the sign.

8) The S.S. Badger Ferry now serves the Fox Cities.

7) Two River is now Three Rivers (or "Trivvers" is now "Thrivvers").

6) Oshkosh has changed the city slogan from Oshkosh On the Water to
Oshkosh Under the Water.

5) You may now use Fox 11's Tom Milbourn's head as a flotation device.

4) The EAA grounds are the new host of the Tall Ship Festival.

3) Green Bay's new "Zippin' Pippin" roller-coaster is being reformatted as
a waterslide attraction called "The Drippin' Pippin."

2) WAPL's Roxanne Steele is getting rusty.

And the number one sign that we've had too much rain...

BP is doing more deep water oil well Black Creek!
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 23rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
Outagamie County Board Supervisor Peter Beckley, who this week was charged
drunk driving...for the fourth time!

Police say he was driving without headlights on one night last February when an officer tried to pull him over. But even though the cop had his squad car lights and siren on, Beckley didn't pull over. Instead he drove into his own driveway and tried to walk into his house. The criminal complaint says he then refused a sobriety test and told the officer "this is my house" and ordered the cop off the property. By the way, his license was already suspended from his third O-W-I.


For apparently thinking that no matter how drunk you are, as long as you make it home, you're good. No ticket for you.

For allegedly having a point-oh-two-one blood alcohol content, which is apparently about twice as high as his I-Q.

And for doing his level best as the county's Finance Committee Chairman to keep the county in the black by paying lots of drunk driving fines.

We are proud to name Outagamie County Board Supervisor and accused four-time drunk driving offender Peter Beckley as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 22nd 2010
Can't wait to hear what goes down! ;)
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 22nd 2010

Tune in Friday between 8 and 9 a.m. for comic Mo Mandel who is appearing this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton.
Raised by hippies in the woods of northern California, Mo Mandel used to lie awake at night listening to his mother’s samba band practicing in the room next door. This is when Mo first considered performing himself, more specifically, performing matricide. Mandel first gained national attention by winning Comedy Central’s “Open Mic Fight” in 2007, and has since made numerous appearances on “Live at Gotham,” as well as starring in all eight episodes of the cult hit show, “Reality Bites Back.” Mandel has also made numerous appearances on “Chelsea Lately,” “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.” Most recently Mandel was chosen to play one of the leads in a new sitcom pilot for FOX by the creators of “Will and Grace,” opposite Emmy award winning actress Laurie Metcalf and Jere Burns.
Click here to sample Mo's act.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 21st 2010

Mixed Martial Arts fighter Chris "The Boss" Barerra joins the Rick an Len Show this Thursday, July 22nd. He's promoting the Full Contact Fights this Saturday at The Big Apple Pub and Grill in Manitowoc. Listen in at about 9 am to see if he kicks Len's smart ass. You'll also have a chance to win a pair of tickets for the fights!
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 19th 2010
July 14 City of Marshfield
A 17-year-old Marshfield man reported hearing a dog barking outside of his home at 4:17am. The man went outside and found two full Little Caesar's pizzas in his car, with a note reading, "Hey, I was driving and thought you were hungry, love Bob the Builder." Police are investigating the matter.

June 27th City of Neenah
A Hansen Street woman told police that a man and a 10-year-old boy were in her house and that the man was sitting in her living room. She also reported that a yellow vehicle resembling a school bus was parked in front of the house. Police checked the house and determined that the woman was seeing things.

June 24th City of New London
Police were called to a North Shawano Street business where someone put a toilet in a cardboard recycling dumpster. Investigating officers identified a suspect by a piece of mail.

July 8th Village of Howard
A 52-year-old man was arrested at Wietor Warf Park after he was found with his pants pulled down lying near garbage and a bottle of Kessler's whiskey.

July 9th Town of Sheboygan
Police received a report that someone broke into 3 storage units at William's Mini-Storage and stole $10,000 worth of tools and Hot Wheels cars.

July 12th City of Shawano
Police received a complaint about a couple at Kuchkuk Park having sex on a picnic table.

July 14th City of Beaver Dam
A man who's door lock was broken called police when he tried to use duct tape to fix it and accidentally locked himself in his own apartment. Police used a jackknife to free the man.

July 11th City of Beaver Dam
A 39-year-old man was taken into custody for disorderly conduct after chasing a 15-year-old boy and his friends around with a golf club.

July 5th City of Glendale
36-year-old Milwaukee man was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior after witnesses reported him masturbating in front of the Golden Living Center Nursing Home. The man denied he was masturbating that saying he was only urinating.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...the several people who called Appleton police early Thursday morning to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue. Responding officers rushed to the scene only to find...a shirtless man wearing tan shorts.


For apparently getting their hopes up that the Appleton entertainment district had suddenly become more entertaining.

For not being able to define obscenity but knowing it when they don't really see it.

And for calling the pigs before they even saw the pork.

We are proud to name all the people who called the Appleton PD to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue when it was really just a guy in tan shorts as this week's Rick and Len Show... Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2010
Jesse James wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but prefers his holes to have some tattoos.

Ricky Martin wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing Golf Outing but last time he was part of a foursome, he wasn't able to sit down for a week.

Michael Jackson wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but he's played with his last pair of little white balls.

Tom Cruise wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but still claims he doesn't play with balls.

Lindsey Lohan wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but was afraid her alcohol monitoring bracelet would go off just getting within 10 feet of half of today's golfers.

The cast of The View wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but everybody brought their own equipment so we don't need another 5 bags.

Al Gore wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but was busy trying to find a masseuse to tug on his putter.

Mel Gibson wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but if he gets that mad when someone doesn't make his bed, you don’t want to see him when he misses a 2 foot putt.

BP head Tony Hayward wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but decided one gulf disaster a year is enough.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th 2010
Doug Benson from Last Comic Standing and VH1's Best Week Ever and maker of the cult classic documentary Super High Me comes to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton for a special two night engagement, Friday and Saturday night this week. Make your reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE but hurry, space is limited.

Doug will join us about 8am Friday morning during our broadcast from the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing.

Here's a little Doug to get you through the night.

posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th 2010
From the makers of feature film, THE HUNGRY BULL, comes a new psychological thriller called JAKE'S CHOICE, about 3 mysterious moonshiners who upset the equilibrium of a small Northwoods town when they dispense their strange brew to the locals.

An open audition for the film will take place on Saturday July 17th from noon until 4pm in the Baird room at the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel in downtown Appleton.

The production is looking to cast boys and girls ages 11-16, and men and women ages 25-40.

No acting experience necessary. No preparation needed. Participants will be asked a few brief questions on camera. Production on the film is scheduled to begin later this summer, shooting in and around the Fox Valley.

Here's the trailer from the filmmaker's previous movie The Hungry Bull which was shot in Neenah-Menasha, Oshkosh and Appleton.
posted by: Rick And Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post