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feb 22nd
As I write this, I am at in my room at the Iberostar Paraiso Lindo on the Mexican Riviera, birds are chirping and cawing outside my window and I am at one with the bed. Being at one with the bed is a rare sensation. It means the room is the just the right temperature, the bed is just the right firmness, I am perfectly relaxed and, despite there being a million things to do here, I never want to get up. It was an early night last night. The day started with an pre-dawn trip to the airport and quality time spent with a TSA agent who apparently learned manners from Attila the Hun. That was followed by my first flight on Aero-Mexico. Very sweet. Most modern plane I've flown on. Every seat has it's entertainment center with choices of free movies and TV shows. They even served food! Then, after an unusually long slog through the Cancun airport (that's the small price you pay to get to paradise) it was was a pleasant bus ride with a couple beers to the resort. What I've seen of it so far is quite lush and beautiful and the bartender in the lobby bar REALLY makes some nice drinks. The Don Julio margaritas on the rocks were sublime. After making sure our equipment works for Monday morning's broadcast, it was a short jaunt to the resort's taco shop for delicious garlic sausage tacos. It was still early but it had been a long day and I was spent. After a great night's sleep last night (Other than waking once with a Charlie horse. Must remember to hydrate more!), I am ready to face the day and embark on some truly great adventure. If only I can convince myself to get out of bed. -Rick-
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

feb 16th


SIGNS YOUR FAVORITE SNL CHARACTERS HAVE GOTTEN OLD

10. Neither Wayne nor Garth can “Schwing” without Viagra.

9. The Blues Brothers are now so named due to the color of their varicose veins. 

8. As a result of their high cholesterol and blood pressure, Greek diner now serving only “Turkey burger, turkey burger, turkey burger. Caffeine Free Coke, no Pepsi”.  

7. Dieter from Sprockets no longer asks guests to touch his monkey...because it died of old age.

6. Stefan now thinks that New York's hottest new club is AARP.  

5. Debbie Downer changed name to Debbie Dependent after getting strung out of powerful anti-depressants.

4. Bass-o-Matic salesman has lost interest in getting a good piece of bass.

3. Pat was recently hospitalized for either a hysterectomy or vasectomy.

2. Instead of claiming to be married to Morgan Fairchild, Tommy Flanagan now claims to be married to Betty White...yeah, Betty White…that's the ticket!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:51 am Comment On This Post

feb 13th
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week... Sheboygan Alderman Kevin Matichek and who was charged with sexual assault of a child this week and Hortonville Village Administrator Patrick Vaile who this week was formally charged with allegedly possessing child pornography.

So,

For allegedly doing worse things sober than anything former Sheboygan Mayor Bob Ryan ever did drunk.

For together accumulating more charges than a lithium battery.

And for lowering our opinion of public servants...which, like Larry King's balls, was something I didn't think could get an lower.

We are proud to name Sheboygan Alderman Kevin Matichek and Hortonville Village Administrator Patrick Vaile who both landed in hot water this week after alleged despicable offenses as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:29 am Comment On This Post

feb 5th


When Packer Letroy Guion was busted in Florida this week he had a gun, a little under a pound of weed and $190,028.81 in cash. That seems like a lot of walking around money! So, here are some signs...

YOU MIGHT BE CARRYING TOO MUCH MONEY

If you’ve ever gotten a hernia making change for a twenty… you might be carrying too much money.

If you’ve ever accidentally broken someone’s toe when one of the wheels on your WALLET rolled over their foot…you might be carrying too much money.

If your backpack has more Benjamin’s than a “Dress as You’re your Favorite Founding Father” costume party…. you might be carrying too much money.

If, in a pinch, your money clip can double as a bear trap…you might be carrying too much money.

If you’ve got more dead presidents than Arlington National Cemetery… you might be carrying too much money.

If you’ve got a bigger wad than the one Bill Clinton left on Monica’s dress… you might be carrying too much money.

If when pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving and found with a gun and about a pound of weed and the judge sets bond at $100,000 and all you can think to say is, “Do you take cash?” …you are definitely carrying too much money.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:46 am Comment On This Post

feb 3rd


THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH THE TWO HOOKERS YOU HIRED THE MORNING AFTER THE SUPER BOWL WHEN YOU WORK FOR THE NFL NETWORK

10. Was having a Viagra with my Rice Krispies really my best breakfast option?

9. When I get my ass fired for this, how much will the NFL Network's rating go up?

8. How much of a pay cut will I have to take going from NFL analyst to working part time at Foot Locker?

7. If I get arrested, lose my job and become a national laughing stock, will it be any more embarrassing that the season I spent on Dancing With The Stars?

6. Considering that I just filed for bankruptcy, wouldn't it be more cost effective to only hire one hooker to fight with?

5. Who would make a better cellmate: Aaron Hernandez or Darren Sharper?

4. Should I just punch the hookers or blindside them like I did Chad Clifton?

3. If I really want to hang out with a couple disreputable whores, shouldn't I just get in the booth at Fox with Buck and Aikman?

2. If instead of getting in a fight with hookers, I just kill a dude like ESPN's Ray Lewis, will I get to keep my job?

1. As far as making bad decisions go, how will this compare with Pete Carroll’s choice to pass instead of run on the one yard line?

posted by: Rick and Len at 10:18 am Comment On This Post

jan 31st

(post crescent photo)

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...whomever was responsible for securing the cover on the grease trap at Denny's in Grand Chute that lead to a 3 year old boy falling about 8 feet into about 4 feet of stinky, oily muck. The cover is supposed to be held on with eight screws and according to the Post Crescent, it had none.

So, 

For not realizing that the phrase "shut your filthy trap" doesn't just apply to Tom Brady's potty mouth during big games.

For conducting the worst job of covering something up since the Watergate break in.

For being responsible for a 3-year-old child getting so thoroughly saturated in grease, many Wisconsinites could barely contain their urges deep fry and eat him.

We are proud to name whomever was in charge of securing the cover on the grease trap at Denny’s in Grand Chute that caused a 3-year-old boy to fall in as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 30th

OTHER INDICATORS THAT GREEN BAY IS THE MOST ROMANTIC CITY IN AMERICA

10. Pollution from paper mill smokestacks makes romantic sunsets all the more colorful.

9. For a romantic Saturday night you can always go to the NEW Zoo to watch the monkeys hump.

8. Green Bay girls will let you stick your brat in their buns.

7. Where else but Bay Beach can you give your date a good ride for as little as a quarter.

6. Guys know that taking a date to the Tundra Lodge is guaranteed to make her wet. 

5. Left over grease from Friday fish fries perfect for aromatic hot oil massages.

4. You only have to drive your date 20 miles south anytime you want to kiss her where it stinks.

3. Female ice fishing enthusiasts will sometimes let a special guy do it in her ice hole.  

2. You can take long walks together in the lush, over-grown jungle-like habitat that is Mayor Jim Schmitt's eyebrows.

1. There is nothing more romantic than holding your girlfriend’s hair after a long day of tailgating.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:41 am Comment On This Post

jan 26th
Last week Kristin Cavallari left hubby Jay Cutler alone with the kids for a few days. She Instagramed this text she received from Jay.




THINGS THAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK WHILE JAY CUTLER WAS TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS BY HIMSELF

10. Hamper full of 4 days of poopie diapers stunk up their house almost as badly as Jay stunk up Solider Field all season.

9. While Jay was throwing the kids in the bathtub, they were intercepted by Sam Shields.

8. Tried giving the one year old a bottle but unlike his father, the kid doesn’t suck.

7. Older boy wanted a bedtime story but, just like opposing defenses, Jay can’t read them.

6. Thought the kids were covered in dark bruises but they had only gotten into daddy’s mascara.

5. Both children have diaper rash making them almost as butt-hurt as their father.

4. Jay didn’t like the idea of changing diapers any more than Packer fans like the idea of the Bears changing starting quarterback.

3. Was unable to put the kids to sleep due to lack of available Bears game film.

2. All that breastfeeding was making his nipples sore.

1. Got so sick and tired of the endless crying….the kids kept begging him to stop.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 22nd


PATRIOT EXCUSES FOR WHY 11 OR THEIR 12 BALLS WERE UNDER-INFLATED

10. Couldn’t properly inflate the balls because they were too busy inflating their ticket prices.

9. Bill Belichick learned the hard way that you can’t inflate footballs with the same pump you use on your penis.

8. They thought the amount of air in the balls was irrelevant…you know, like the Pro Bowl.

7. Coach Belichick doesn’t have time to monitor the inflating of the footballs because he’s too busy studying illegally made video tapes of opponents defensive signals.

6. “They were in the pool! They were in the pool!”

5. Trying to emulate Mike McCarthy who earlier Sunday took the air out an entire state.

4. The Patriots let the Chicago Bears inflate the balls because they thought they really blew but it turns out, as we all know, they actually suck.

3. Can’t remember what happened to their balls after they had a drink with Bill Cosby.

2. Patriot in charge of ball inflation was Aaron Hernandez but he only knows how to pump things full of lead.

1. They have no excuse for why 11 of the 12 balls were under-inflated but will come up with something just as soon as they get done firing the guy who didn’t under-inflate that 12th ball.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:29 am Comment On This Post

jan 19th


January 2nd Town of Menasha
A 51-year-old man reported that his TV, cellphone and some food were taken from his room after he was arrested on December 27th. The man suspected a roommate was responsible. A check of pawn shops revealed that the TV had been pawned by the roommate. When an officer went to speak with the victim to make arrangements to retrieve his television and the victim answered the door for the officer while smoking marijuana. The victim was cited for possession of marijuana and taken to the Winnebago County Jail for violating the terms of his bond from the previous arrest.

December 20th City of Prairie du Sac
A person house sitting called police and reported the homeowner’s vehicles were missing and have now been returned. After an investigation, police determined that the vehicles were NOT taken. The house sitter had only dreamed it happen.

January 6th City of Waukesha
A woman called police stating she is in the woods in an old town that looks similar to Old World Wisconsin and people are using the same needle to treat each other for anaphylactic shock. After police made contact with the woman at her apartment she said she had a dream and dialed 911. She told police she was quite embarrassed by the incident.

December 15th City of Prairie du Sac
Police responded to an security alarm activation at a fitness center. When police arrived, they found a member had pushed the panic button on purpose just to see what would happen.

January 13th City of Beaver Dam
A man called police to report that someone drove on his lawn in the Avenue and hit his snowman. There appeared to be no damage other than the snowman. The value of the snowman was not available.

December 25th City of Menasha
A male on Third Street reported that he had been beaten. The man refused medical attention and just wanted a police escort to his home. He ultimately jumped out of the ambulance and jogged home.

December 31st City of Neenah
An employee of a car dealership on Green Bay Road called police to report an “odd” man on their lot asking staff members to pronounce strange words.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:21 am Comment On This Post

jan 12th


December 25th City of Neenah
A Byrd Avenue resident reported that a male in an SUV was parked in the bowling alley parking lot staring at the house and making the caller uncomfortable. The man in the SUV told police he was just doing crossword puzzles. Police told the man to take his crossword puzzles and do them somewhere else.

December 24 City of Neenah
A man on Forest Avenue called police to report he was watching as an SUV pulled up to the front of his house and a man out, grabbed the baby Jesus from his front yard and fled in the SUV.

January 4th City of Stevens Point
A man called police to report his son was extremely intoxicated and had a no drink order against him. When police arrived, they gave the son a Breathalyzer test but his blood alcohol level was so high it didn't register. The son was also arrested three weeks ago. At that time his blood alcohol level was .435.

January 9th City of Marshfield
A man called police after he found a 6-foot-tall wooden Easter bunny and large wooden Easter egg in his yard. Responding officers impounded both the egg and the Easter bunny. A neighbor has since come forward and admitted he constructed the bunny and has been moving it from yard to yard, leaving Easter eggs behind, for fun. He said he plans to contact police to see about getting his bunny back. However, he added, "I think he should stay in jail for a couple days to learn a lesson".

December 28th Dane County
A woman called police to report damage to her vehicle. The woman told police that since having her car washed and waxed, a wild turkey keeps pecking at it causing numerous scratches to the body and fender of the vehicle. The woman told police she has tried to get a photo of the turkey in the act but has been unable to do so. However, the woman did point out several piles of turkey poop around her car as evidence. Police suspect the turkey could see his reflection in the shiny clean cars surface, and thought it was another bird. Police suggested the woman put an old mirror near the car to refocus the turkey's attention.

December 24th Dane County
A man reported the theft of his Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini with a cracked screen while attending a Christmas party at a local bar. In the report he filed with police, the man indicates that theft occurred when, "The holiday spirit moved me to sing Karaoke, so I set my phone on the table my co-workers and I were at. My song came on and I started belting out the sweetest tune you ever heard. It moved my co-workers so much that they came to cheer me on leaving our table and my phone up for grabs.

January 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A 29-year-old man called 911 about 6:30 AM and told police that after a late night of drinking he woke up locked in a dark, dank place and didn't know where he was. Police traced the man's cell phone signal to a tavern where the drunken man had been drinking the night before. The extremely intoxicated man had apparently staggered down to the cellar where he passed out and got locked in when bartenders closed up for the night. Officers contacted the tavern's owner, got the key and let out the drunken patron out of the cellar.

December 28th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report someone stole his crutches that he needs to walk. According to the caller, the crutch thief was wearing a Dallas Cowboys jacket.

January 1st Village of Shorewood
Police stopped a 34-year-old driver who they saw weaving in traffic and running a red light. The man told police, “I don’t want to waste your time with tests. I’m drunk!”

December 29th City of Oak Creek
A caller asked police to check on a swan that was in the city pond because she was concerned that the swan could not live long in the cold water. An officer checked the area and discovered it was a fake swan.

January 2nd City of Brookfield
Two juveniles were banned from Brookfield Square Mall after attempting to pull pranks on women in the Boston Store. One suspect would film the women as they entered fitting rooms while another waited in the stall dressed as a clown. The pair of juveniles had previously been involved in a similar incident at JC Penney.

December 25th City of Waukesha
Police were called as several people were spotted trying to break into the backdoor of Denny’s. The suspects were reportedly all dressed like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

December 28th City of Waukesha
A caller reported people in an apartment were fighting and throwing things for the last five hours. Police determined there was no criteria for a domestic disturbance after learning the noise was coming from a woman who said she woke up with an asthma attack and began trashing her apartment and cursing as she looked for her inhaler.

December 29th City of Waukesha
A woman entered the lobby of the Police Department and demanded that her clothes be tested for poison. The front desk clerk told her the police station does not offer such services. The woman then stormed out and left a garbage bag of clothes. The woman returned sometime later to pick up her clothes.

December 29th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a woman was naked in the hallway of a motel yelling at a man to get out. Police advised the woman, who was highly intoxicated, of her behavior and lack of clothing. The woman told police she could not recall why she went into the hallway naked.

January 8th Town of Hubbard
A 65-year-old man called police to report someone is signing him up for online dating sites and he believes it's his ex-wife.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:48 am Comment On This Post

jan 10th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…45-year-old Robert J. Westman who allegedly got a little too handsy with a woman whom he says he was “dirty dancing” with Wednesday night at Governor Scott Walker’s inaugural ball. According to the woman, Westman was  “creeping” on her and making unwelcome advances. When the woman’s boss intervened  Westman reportedly chose to head-butt him. The woman told police Westman also groped her and touched her improperly and kept trying to impress her by claiming he was friends with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

For head butting the woman which marks the first time in years anyone in Madison has used their head for anything.

For trying to hook up with a woman at Scott Walker's inauguration despite the fact that Walker famously doesn't believe in "unions".

For not understanding that in Madison, the words head and butt are usually only used together when one is up the other.

We are proud to name Robert J. Westman of Onalaska, who got arrested after allegedly getting handsy and head-butty at Governor Walker's Inauguration ball as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 9th


It’s a tale of two cities
One good and one bad
About pride and tradition
The Cowboys don’t have

The good guys are the Packers
They always will prevail.
While the Packers go the distance
The cowboys go to jail

Getting busted by the law
causing big legal flaps
Least their BAIL don't  count
Against the salary caps

Packers beat opponents
Aaron Rodgers throws a bomb.
Tony Romo throws a fit
Dez Bryant beats his mom

Running back Joseph Randall
stealing cologne and underwear
Who has cash for skivvies
When you're a poor Dallas millionaire?

I don't GET taking undies
But he took cologne I think
Cuz he just wanted to smell good for once
But the Cowboys always stink

they're kinda short on defense
At Least that's what I read
Woulda had one more practice player
But Josh Brent killed him dead.

Yet the Cowboys brought Brent back
After crashing his Mercedes Benz
Sure Brent was drivin' drunk
But what's a little vehicular manslaughter between friends?

And there's CJ Spillman
But is it really all his fault
That the special-team player's special talent
Seems to be for sex assault?

He has not been charged with any crime yet
just questioned and released.
But he's fast getting the reputation
As the Bill Cosby of NFCeeees East

And all that bad behavior
Starts right up at the top
Jerry Jones contributes to the fact
A Dallas highlight reel looks like an episode of Cops.

Now the team that's perfect on the road
Meets the team that hasn't lost at home.
Playing at Green Bay's Lambeau Field
Not at Jerry's garish dome.

So somethings got to give
at least that's what I'm told
We'll see how those indoor babies
Can hold up in the cold.

They might be better than we think
On the frozen tundra and the ice
They might be used to chilly temps
Since most have been in the cooler once or twice.

But good will triumph over bad
As it has since days of old.
And the Pack will emerge victorious
And beat the Cowboys cold.

Dem boys will fly home to Texas
With their New Jersey Governor in tow.
There's always next year, Dallas!
At least for those of you who can get out on parole.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:30 am Comment On This Post

jan 5th

February 17th Village of Wittenberg
Sheriff’s deputies responded to a call from a woman on Eland Avenue. The caller told the dispatcher she was trapped in her house because there was a large raccoon frozen to her sidewalk in a puddle of its own urine right at the foot of her stairs. A deputy responded to the home where he used a large bowl of warm water to thaw the puddle of frozen urine freeing the raccoon who then ambled off under his own power.

January 11th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a call from the employee of the Community Library reporting a 51-year-old man was bathing in the restroom. The responding officer spoke to the man who explained he was just cleaning up after pooping his pants.

March 23rd Dane County
Police were called to a 30th birthday party after a the party's organizer allegedly punched the DJ, and destroyed his equipment because she did not like his song selections. The bloodied DJ wasn't sure what he had played to made her so upset. The woman fled the party with an uncut birthday cake before police arrived and remains at large.

April 21st City of Shawano
Police responded to an incident involving two parked cars at Hillcrest School. The wind caught the door of one of the cars blowing it open and dinging the other car. The driver of the dinged door car was reportedly very upset. When police arrived, they issued to citations to both drivers since they were both illegally parked in handicapped spots.

April 29th City of Chilton
A caller reported a "bloody man" was walking around a store on East Chestnut Street. The man told responding officers, "This is what happens when you help your kids".

May 3rd City of Cudahy
A 50-year-old man was arrested for violating terms of his probation by visiting his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. The man said he knew he was violating the probation terms by visiting her, but told police “the woman is crazy and the sex is amazing.”

May 9th City of Greenfield
A 911 caller reported two elderly females were arguing with staff at the American Legion Post after they were allegedly caught cheating at bingo. The women then reportedly went outside and started yelling and banging on the windows. Police were unable to locate the elderly bingo cheaters but confirmed they were last seen traveling eastbound in a silver Ford Expedition.

May 15th City of Waukesha
A woman called police to report she was slapped in the back of the head by a male co-worker. The accused assailant admitted his actions to police but told them he only slapped the coworker in the back of the head because his manager told him if he did so she would give him a dollar.

June 10th City of Waukesha
A woman called police and claimed her boyfriend stole $350 million from her. She also told police he forced a cat to lick him all night long because he is a sex addict.

June 28th City of Appleton
Police arrested a 52-year-old man they believe is responsible for damage and vandalism to numerous air-conditioners in Appleton, Menasha and probably Neenah. The man allegedly spent recent nights riding his bicycle around the area and randomly ripping the control switches out of the air conditioning units. The man reportedly told officers he committed the acts because he just doesn't like air-conditioners.

July 13th City of Franklin
A 33-year-old man called police to report a man called him a "pervert" and pulled a gun on him. The caller himself was arrested after police determined the reason the other man called him a pervert and pulled a gun on him is the man had caught the caller in the act of peeping in his windows.

July 8th City of Oak Creek
A driver flagged down a police officer and reported herself for speeding and not wearing a seatbelt. The woman promised the officer she would not speed anymore and fastened her seatbelt. No citations were issued.

July 24th City of Portage
Police responded to a report of a disturbance at the county fairgrounds where they found two boys in the cattle barn fighting over the placement of a manure pile.

July 10th City of Menasha
Officers received an anonymous complaint about a rummage sale in progress. Officers contacted the resident who said there was no sale in progress and that all items laying in the driveway are just her children's toys.

July 11th Village of Jackson
An officer stopped an SUV for blinding oncoming traffic with its high-beams. The driver, a 35-year-old West Bend woman, was believed to be drinking and admitted she already had a suspended license for two prior OWI convictions. The woman also told police she was hiding a cell phone in her vagina. Jail staff used a metal detector and determined that there was no cell phone in woman's vagina.

July 21st City of Shawano
A caller contacted police to report someone broke into their car and left a pack of beef jerky.

August 24th City of Oak Creek
A jogger flagged down police to report that a dog being walked by its owner just bit him on the scrotum.

August 9th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man who said he was "stuck in his brother's car" and kept honking the horn, while yelling "I just want to get out of the car. I can't get out of the car". Responding officers found the man was just extremely intoxicated and couldn't figure out how to open the door.

July 15th Village of Jackson
A man told police that he saw a woman in a vehicle intentionally try to run over a flock of geese. Using the license plate number, police located the driver. The woman told the officer that she didn’t try to run the geese over but “thought it would be funny to drive at them fast so they would fly away”. None of the geese were injured. According to police, no further action was taken because “there’s no law against being an immature moron.”

August 23rd City of Oak Creek
A resident called police to report receiving a phone call from an unidentified male who told him that he would "gut him and leave him in the woods" if he didn't pay his ex-girlfriend $80 for a cat toy.

August 23rd City of Greenfield
Police received a 911 call from a woman reporting a robbery in progress at Starbucks. The caller stated her 14-year-old daughter went inside and then texted her mom that the business was being held up. A police investigation revealed the girl actually texted her mom, “Hold up at Starbucks,” meaning the line was long and the number of customers inside was holding her up.

August 31st City of Oak Creek
Police responded after a 911 caller reported at least three vehicles were parked near his residence and the occupants were outside, yelling at each other. The responding officer found 15 people in the area, who stated they were just looking for ghosts. They were all told to leave and come back during daytime hours despite their protests that ghosts only come out at night.

August 27th City of Waukesha
A man called police to report finding strands of blonde hair in the back of his pickup truck. The man told police he was unable to tell if the blonde hairs came from a human being or an animal. Police determined the blonde hairs...were actually hay.

August 28th City of Waukesha
A man called police to request an ambulance for a 55-year-old woman. Police learned the woman wanted an ambulance because she was bleeding after popping a pimple on her face.

September 5th Dane County
A man reported to police that while his 2000 Ford Taurus station wagon was parked, someone stole the brand new right front tire from the car and replaced it with an flat balding one. The victim filled out an official police report noting "This hot rod of a car of mine seems to attract petty thuggery, obviously due to envy. I'm sure the perpetrators imagine (rightly so) a balding, middle age potbellied family man proudly cruising the city, his comb-over flowing out the half open window. I can understand their jealousy but can't condone it. I think fair punishment would be for them to one day find themselves balding and middle aged."

September 6th Dane County
A 23-year-old woman was awakened by the sound of her front door crashing in. Unsure what to do during a burglary, the woman grabbed her cell phone, hid in a closet and Googled "What to do during a burglary?". Google advised her to call police so she did.

September 9th City of Waukesha
A caller told police she saw a man carrying a baby in a dog kennel. When police arrived at the scene, they discovered it was a small dog in the kennel, not an ugly, hairy infant.

September 16th Village of Biron
A man called police and reported that he could hear people trying to break into his home. The man called police back three more times before police arrived at his residence to investigate. Responding officers believe that what the man heard was actually several falling pinecones.

September 23rd City of Waukesha
The police and fire departments rescued a man who was stuck inside a trash bin behind Dunkin' Donuts. The man told police his wife left her dentures at Dunkin' Donuts earlier in the day and was looking for them. While standing on a pallet and looking in garbage cans for the missing dentures, the man fell in and was unable to get out.

September 6th City of Neenah
A Congress Street resident called police to report hearing people yelling and screaming. Officers responding to the report found several adults engaged in...a spirited pillow fight.

September 24th Village of Shorewood
The resident called 911 because a nut got stuck in her teeth while she was eating a Hershey bar with almonds. Police instructed the woman to contact a dentist.

September 21st City of Waukesha
A domestic disturbance was reported after the caller thought she heard someone get hit and saw a female outside crying. The female said she wasn't crying and had just gone to the car to think after a verbal argument with her niece over macaroni and cheese.

September 24th City of Franklin
A 42-year-old man arrived at work at Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company and subsequently stripped down to just a necktie and boxer shorts in what was described as a "creative way to get fired".

September 30th City of Waukesha
A woman reported that her apartment had been repeatedly entered by someone over the past year and a half. The woman told police that the person who has been illegally entering her apartment keeps taking her "better quality chicken breasts" and replacing them with "lower quality" chicken breasts.

October 9th City of Waupun
A resident called police and reported that his two dogs were stuck together after mating and asked for officer assistance in getting them apart. Police contacted a local veterinarian who advised them to leave the dogs alone and nature would take its course. Prior to police leaving the residence, the dogs separated.

November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the Waukesha Public Library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.

November 13th City of Neenah
A caller on Bergstrom Road told police that a male who was just terminated had threatened to come back and cut off someone’s hands with a machete. The former employee was mad because someone had taken his soda.

August 14th Town of Emmet
A resident called the sheriff's department to report someone left empty McDonald's bags in his driveway. The area McDonald's was contacted to have them check their surveillance video recordings to see if they could identify a suspect based on the time on the receipt left in one of the bags. Deputies were unable to obtain the security video needed to aid in the investigation at this time.

August 16th Dane County
Police were called to the Henry Villas Zoo after a 24-year-old woman who loves giraffes, climbed over a fence into the giraffe enclosure. Wally, a two-year-old, 12 foot tall giraffe, licked the woman's cheek before turning around and kicking her in the face. The woman was not seriously injured. It is unclear if the kick to the face dampened the woman's love of the tall mammals.

July 12th Dane County
A 26-year-old woman with a box full of guinea pigs walked into Pet World and tried to put her guinea pigs in with the store guinea pigs. When the store manager told her she couldn't do that, the woman became angry and told him it was not his store but rather it "belongs to the animals". When police arrived, they tried to coax the woman out of the store. However, the woman yelled "I am sorry, my babies" and hurled the box of guinea pigs at officers. Police arrested the woman. The box of guinea pigs were unharmed.

November 5th City of Portage
Police responded to a request for an officer at a home on River Street about 2 AM. When the officer arrived a woman asked him to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The officer woke another family member to handle the issue.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:52 am Comment On This Post

dec 12th 2014



We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week… The 75-year-old Friendship man,  John Pryzbyla who was cited for his 10th DUI. A deputy pulled Pryzbyla over after seeing his truck allegedly cross the center line on State Highway 13. Pryzbyla denied drinking that night and reportedly blamed the smell of alcohol on his breath and apparently his bad driving on having eaten beer battered fish that evening.

So,

For telling a tale that is fishy at best and a whale tale at worst that he clearly expected the deputy to go for hook, line and sinker.  

For giving an excuse so LAME by comparison it makes Tiny Tim Cratchit look like Usain Bolt.

For blaming his wrong doing on something that smells like fish...something men have been doing since Adam.

We are proud to name John Pryzbyla of Friendship in Adams County as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

dec 12th 2014



We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week… The 75-year-old Friendship man,  John Pryzbyla who was cited for his 10th DUI. A deputy pulled Pryzbyla over after seeing his truck allegedly cross the center line on State Highway 13. Pryzbyla denied drinking that night and reportedly blamed the smell of alcohol on his breath and apparently his bad driving on having eaten beer battered fish that evening.

So,

For telling a tale that is fishy at best and a whale tale at worst that he clearly expected the deputy to go for hook, line and sinker.  

For giving an excuse so LAME by comparison it makes Tiny Tim Cratchit look like Usain Bolt.

For blaming his wrong doing on something that smells like fish...something men have been doing since Adam.

We are proud to name John Pryzbyla of Friendship in Adams County as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

dec 8th 2014


November 13th City of Neenah
A caller on Bergstrom Road told police that a male who was just terminated had threatened to come back and cut off someone’s hands with a machete. The former employee was mad because someone had taken his soda.

November 29th Village of Port Edwards
A man called police to report a two-year-old poked his seven-year-old with a stick. The two-year-old was not charged.

November 22nd City of Waukesha
7A caller reported that a juvenile was alone inside a SUV at Taco Bell for more than 15 minutes honking the horn at Taco Bell. When police arrived the vehicle was unoccupied, and the juvenile was inside the restaurant with his parents. The juvenile told police he was upset because he wanted Cousins instead of Taco Bell so he stayed in the vehicle and honked the horn. The parents told police their solution will be to take him to Cousins when they are done at Taco Bell.

December 2nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report finding a cigarette butt in his driveway despite the fact that no one at his home smokes.

November 14th City of Waukesha
A caller reported a woman with no teeth was wiggling the door handle to her apartment. The caller indicated this has been an ongoing problem.

November 18th City of Waukesha
A woman reported to police that a man stole her driver's license and wallet a week ago and that this has been an ongoing problem the past 25 years.

November 17th City of Waukesha
A woman called police because she thought someone was walking around inside her house. When police arrived, the woman immediately apologized and said she must have been dreaming.

November 22nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man called police and reported someone took his binoculars from his tree stand. The man told police he followed some tracks in the snow and heard another man yell "Hey, looking for your binoculars?"

November 21st City of Oak Creek
A resident reported some unidentified person was banging on her windows and doors at about 6:45pm. The victim stated the same thing occurred the night before, and that someone had vomited on her porch. The responding officer checked the outside of the residence but could not find any damage. He did, however, find a gift card on the porch with a note attached that read, "Sorry for the throw up".

November 9th City of Neenah
A woman called police to report someone was ringing her doorbell over and over and knocking and would not go away. She did not answer the door. Police found a female sleeping in a car outside the home. The woman turned out to be the caller’s sister-in-law who just wanted a place to sleep.

November 10th City of Menasha
Police were called to Maplewood Middle School after a juvenile allegedly took a sandwich from the lunchroom, concealed it under his lunch tray and left, making no attempt to pay. The middle school student said he had no money to pay for it. The lunch staff asked him to go to the office but he refused and had to be escorted there where he admitted to stealing the sandwich to police.

November 26th City of Portage
Police responded to an incident at Walmart. An adult and two teenagers allegedly sprayed a liquid dust cleaner onto the floor, causing it to be very slippery and argued loudly with store employees when confronted.

November 27th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police at 8:14 PM and reported snowplows were disturbing the peace.

November 25th Village of Junction City
A 31-year-old man called sheriff's deputies to report that he was upset about receiving junk mail.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:28 am Comment On This Post

nov 24th 2014


HOW WIDE OPEN WAS RICAHRD RODGERS ON THAT TOUCHDOWN CATCH ON SUNDAY?

As wide open as a Kardashian sister’s legs on NBA All Star Weekend.

As wide open as a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black at a Tommy Thompson birthday party.

As wide open as a 24-hour gun store in Ferguson, Missouri. 

As wide open as the box of Tampon's in Jay Cutler's locker.

As wide open as Mary Burke’s mouth while trying to define plagiarism.

As wide opened as Charlie Sheen’s wallet at a 2-for-1 hooker sale.  

As wide open as Nancy Grace’s yapping maw…well, just about any time.

As wide open as the can of Whoop Ass the Packers opened on the Bears and Eagles. 

As wide open as Bill Cosby’s fly in a room full of young women.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:46 am Comment On This Post

nov 17th 2014



November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the public library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.

October 30th Village of Oregon
A 17-year-old girl was charged with disorderly conduct after an 18-year-old coworker reported the girl took a picture of her while she was working and posted it on Snapchat with a caption that read "chlamydia infested whore".

November 12th Dane County
Police responded to a report of a female deer with a broken leg laying on the side of the road and two bucks attempting to have sex with her. When officers arrived and sounded their siren, they spooked the smaller of the two bucks and he ran off but the larger, ten pointer was unswayed. According to the police report, the officer, fearing the buck could soon end up in traffic, and knowing the doe must be put out of her misery, decided it was time to go "mano a mano," or in this case "mano a bucko."  As he recounted the tenseness of the moment, the officer said it felt a little like an old western: the sheriff and the outlaw staring each other down. The buck stomped. The officer stomped. The officer raised his arms to simulate a big rack, and he charged, yelling at the buck. The buck stood his ground, steam now coming from his nostrils. About this time, a second officer showed up, and the first instructed the second to do an end around and come at the buck from a different direction, "hooting and hollering". The second officer obliged, and the two officer's combined ruckus did the trick. The buck ran off, and the first officer humanely dispatched the doe. After the doe was dead, the large buck returned and again tried to have sex with her and again had to be scared back into the woods with more hooting and hollering.

November 11th Shawano county
A caller reported hearing what sounded like somebody kicking or stomping on the ground. They requested an officer drive-by with their window rolled it down to see if they heard the same thing.

November 9th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report someone had stolen their pizza cutter.

November 4th City of Waukesha
An intoxicated man, who claimed he is from Gotham, called police saying he was assaulted at a bowling alley. The responding officer found that the assault consisted of another patron throwing a bar coaster at the caller, resulting in no injuries.

November 3rd City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of two intoxicated people harassing and swearing at the bartender and manager at Applebee's because they weren't allowed to order food off the children's menu.

November 9th Dane County
Staff members from a downtown bar were able to corral a drunken man who was wielding a fire extinguisher. Witnesses told police he had used the fire extinguisher  to break a window at the bar. When arrested, the man was reportedly yelling and screaming unintelligible things and then in the back of a squad car, the man loudly proclaimed to be "Spartacus."

November 7th City of Greenfield
A resident reported a neighbor was outside banging on pots and pans for about an hour. Police made contact with the woman, who stated she was upset because she believed her neighbors had stolen her pots and pans.

November 3rd City of Mequon
Police were called to a business where an employee, unhappy about being fired, responded by ripping a cabinet off-the-wall, throwing things around the office, and going outside and urinating on the side of the building.

September 13th City of Verona
Police responded to an emergency call to aid a 13-year-old stuck in a baby swing.

November 15th City of Madison
Police responded to a report of an injured pedestrian. When they arrived on the scene, they found a 22-year-old Nebraska man suffering from facial injuries. According to witnesses, the man intentionally ran into traffic in an attempt to jump over a moving taxi cab and failed in his attempt, sustaining the facial injuries in the process. After police cited him for "Sudden Pedestrian Movement", the man gave the officers an expletive laden statement in which he said he "hopes the Huskers defeat the Badgers" and that he promises to "never try and jump over a moving car again".
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:18 am Comment On This Post

nov 14th 2014


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week….41-year-old  Shawn Ellis and 28-year old Jennie Hetchler of Berlin who were arrested Wednesday night after one of them apparently posted items stolen from a neighbor’s home for sale on Craig’s List. When police arrived at their home with a search warrant they were surprised to reportedly find not just stolen property but also an enormous meth lab in their garage. Or should I say, an enormous meth lab in the garage AND their 3 young children...ages 9, 3, and 2 in the home. What's more, according to police, the couple almost blew up the garage on at least three occasions.

So,

For doing everything to attract police attention to their meth operation short of posting a "free donuts here" sign.

For going from Craig's List to the most wanted list.

For advertising stolen goods at the place they're manufacturing drugs which is nothing if not a classic “meth-take” (sorry).

And for having a residence full of kids and meth....sort of like the big Breaking Bad/Full House crossover episode nobody was asking for.

We are proud to name Shawn Ellis and Jennie Hetchler of Berlin as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:16 am Comment On This Post