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aug 24th


A new study showed that the radio is the 2nd most comforting sound for Americans, right behind birds chirping. WAPL may be a lot of things, but we never before thought of it as "comforting" until now. Here's the...

MOST COMFORTING THINGS ABOUT LISTENING TO WAPL

10. Hearing Ross Maxwell shout at and deride people makes you realize your mother-in-law could actually be worse.

9. Every time John on the Road Show talks about something he "saw", you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that if he hasn't gone blind yet, what your mother told you about doing that thing couldn't possibly be true.

8. You don’t get worked up by talk of the Zika virus knowing that no mosquito could be as dangerous as the bug that is safely and permanently contained up Len’s ass.

7. You can rest assured you never have to worry about embarrassing yourself by not knowing the correct pronunciation of “plantar fasciitis”.

6. Listening to Roxanne’s voice helps you relax knowing you’re saving $3.99 a minute not counting the slight uptick it causes in your Kleenex budget.

5. You can feel reassured knowing that if you ever run afoul of the mob, the FBI will find a new identity and safe place for you just like they did for Tim “the hit man” Hart, or as he used to be known, Vinnie “the hit man” Gamberino, formerly of Teaneck, New Jersey.

4. Only a mad man would not feel comforted by hearing “Wooo” 20 or 30 times a day.

3. If you are a parent of a teen that you’re convinced never will amount to anything, the Road Show is comforting proof they could still find a job that doesn’t involve cleaning up poop or washing some rich guy’s balls.

2. You take comfort in knowing your virility isn't in question because for some reason, every time you hear Elwood on the New Male Medical ad you get the weirdest boner.

1. Whenever you hear Rick’s voice broadcasting from the WAPL studio you can rest assured he’s at leady not hanging around outside your kid’s elementary school or playground.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:33 am Comment On This Post

aug 23rd


August 2nd City of Neenah
A North Park Avenue caller informed police that a large group of people were trespassing in her yard playing Pokémon Go. The caller told the dispatcher that she had turned her sprinkler on to get them off her property.

August 5th City of Brookfield
A resident reported that sometime before 4am on August 5th someone came into her yard and cut the cord on her Christmas lights.

August 9th City of Oak Creek
Police went to Kohl’s in response to a report of a white male in his 50s wearing sunglasses, white shorts, no shirt, and a blue baseball cap who was hiding in the bushes behind the store and clucking like a chicken.

August 7th Dane County
Police were called to a sports bar where witnesses say a man who was shooting pool had been loudly yelling Donald Trump's name as he voiced support for the candidate. Another man responded by also uttering Trump's name, but according to the police report, he used a word that "rhymes with truck" in front of the candidates name. This caused the first man to lift his Hawaiian shirt, exposing a handgun that was tucked in the waistband of his khaki shorts.

August 15th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to Fountain Park where a woman who had been sitting in the middle of the road in her pajamas was now bathing in the fountain.

August 4th City of Menasha
Officers responded to a report of a male and female physically fighting in a parking lot on Midway Road. Upon arrival, officers spoke to the parties who denied having a physical fight, but confirmed they were arguing over Papa Murphy's being closed.

August 12th City of Sheboygan
Police told a woman who was allegedly causing a disturbance at McDonald's to leave and she would be cited or arrested if she returned. The woman told police she doesn't think it works that way.

July 19th City of Greenfield
A man walked into an auto repair shop, stood very close to the register and wouldn’t speak to employees, then screamed “cigarettes!” and walked out. Police found the man sitting across the street waiting for a bus. The man did not speak English, and did not have an explanation for yelling "cigarettes!".

August 9th Village of Germantown
Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot for a report that two males and two females were crawling around in front of patrons’ vehicles and harassing them about praying. Police located the praying suspects and they agreed to leave the parking lot and pray someplace else.

August 17th City of Madison
An officer on foot spotted an SUV being driven fast on State Street where regular traffic is not allowed. The officer jumped into her squad and pulled the driver over. According to police, when instructed to get out of the car, the 42-year-old female driver instead just cracked open a fresh can of beer and began drinking.

August 6th City of Chilton
Police were called to break up a disturbance involving two occupants at a nursing home physically fighting in wheelchairs. Police gave both occupants a lecture bout respecting each other as they live in such a confined space.

July 27th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a bar after an employee reported a woman struck another woman in the head with a martini glass. The women allegedly started arguing after one of them yelled at the other’s child for touching the shuffleboard table while they were using it.

August 5th City of Marshfield
Officers responding to the scene of a domestic disturbance determined a woman had become upset when her boyfriend accidentally called her by his ex-girlfriend's name. The man was trying to calm the woman down and, during the "conversation", the residence's door was broken. Police took the man to a different location to spend the night.

August 7th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to assist after a man on 20th Street who needed his colostomy bag changed became combative.

August 6th City of Sheboygan
Police were dispatched to the old Brat Days parade route to inform people waiting for the Brat Days parade that it would not be coming their way and if they wanted to see the Brat Days parade they should move to the new Brat Days parade route.

August 7th City of Neenah
A caller told police that for the last day a gas can has been sitting next to the stop sign at the intersection of Third Street and East Forest Avenue. An investigation by police revealed that the gas can was empty, and that the owner had put it out by the curb for free for whomever wanted it. The officer suggested attaching a sign that read "free gas can".

August 15th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report her 92-year-old mother's neighbor walks around her property with a baseball bat and asks people if they keep their money in a cookie jar.

August 8th City of Waukesha
Police were called to a city park where a man was upsetting other park goers by repeatedly screaming at them that he was "fishing for snapping turtles".
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:07 pm Comment On This Post

aug 22nd
Listening to stories of Len's big family vacation has caused my mind to flood with memories of a similar trip my family took when I was a child. Here's the account of that trip I wrote for a publication several years ago. -Rick-



THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

It was the summer of my seventh year. The previous September many of my classmates had returned to school with stories of their Griswald-ian sojourns in faux wood-paneled station wagons to exciting and faraway places. The Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, the home of an uncle in Santa Fe who would give shiny quarters to nephews that let him do magic tricks inside their underpants!

Emboldened by my friends’ travel tales, I asked mom and dad to take me on vacation. When asking didn’t work, I pleaded, I cajoled, I begged with the tenacity and desperation usually only seen from Tommy Thompson trying to get one more Jameson on-the-rocks after last-call. Finally, they caved.

So it was in August of 1966, mom, dad, and I left idyllic Menasha, Wisconsin and set off in search of America.

Our trek did not take us to historic Route 66, bisecting this great nation from Missouri to the Pacific Ocean. Nor did our excursion lead us to California’s scenic Highway 1, with its hairpin turns and breathtaking vistas. No, our journey took place on the equally historic and no less scenic Highway 47!

Leaving the city of Menasha, we soon rolled through, well, the Town of Menasha. I marveled at the passing scenery. The old Goodwill Store, the putt-putt golf course, Valley Fair Mall. When PBS Travel guru Rick Steves says, “Travel is intensified living” this is clearly what he’s talking about.

Before I knew it, Highway 47 turned into the tree-lined boulevard that is Memorial Drive and I swelled with excitement as we passed over the magnificent span of the Memorial Drive Bridge. On that hot, humid day in the pre-environmentally friendly ‘60’s, I was awed by the sight of the many smoke belching factories in Appleton’s industrial “flats” and inhaled the fragrant bouquet of the Fox River, a smell that would not have been unfamiliar to a third-world gynecologist.

Having traversed the Fox, we headed for College Avenue where we turned left, over the viaduct into Grand Chute and on to The Strip, baby! There, we pulled into our final destination--Biggar’s Best Western Motel.

Grand Chute in 1966 was not nearly the exotic vacation paradise that it is today. Yet, Biggars’ Best Western was a swanky place. Among its amenities were “powder rooms”, “combination tub and showers” and “telephones...IN THE ROOM”. If Louie the XIV had lived in the 1960’s, this would have been his Versailles.

For the next eight days, we would live among the Grand Chute residents. Observe their customs. Eat their local delicacies. And participate in their indigenous activities.

Most of my days were spent swimming in Biggars’ indoor, heated pool until I was so wrinkled I looked like I could be Larry King's ball sack. After swimming, it was on to the “41 Bowl” where my ball spent more time in the gutter than Nick Nolte on a four day bender.

After all that fun I was hungry enough to eat a horse, which given the dubious taste of the meat in some of the restaurants we patronized, was more than a little ironic.

However, we ate most of our meals at the Marcs’ Big Boy, conveniently located right next door. It was at the Big Boy that I came to realize just how different the exotic cuisine of Grand Chute was from the food I was used to eating back home.

I ordered a “Big Boy Burger” thinking it would be just a regular hamburger. Oh, how wrong I was. When the waitress delivered it to our table, I could scarcely believe my eyes. It was not just a patty between two halves of a bun. It was TWO patties and the bun had not only a top and bottom but a MIDDLE as well. Most confusing of all, the pickles and tomato slice were not inside, but rather, perched atop the bun like a colorful party hat and held in place with a decorative toothpick. It all made Menasha seem so very far away.

Between the swimming, bowling, gourmet dining and occasional forays across The Strip to Treasure Island (not the casino, the discount department store with the “squiggly” roof and crappy merchandise) the eight days flew by and soon I was heading home.

I returned to Menasha a changed seven year old. I was imbued with a deeper understanding of the diversity of the human experience and filled with a full-blown desire to see even more of the world. This year Grand Chute. Next year, who knows? Maybe Ashwaubenon! After that first trip, the world was my oyster and anything seemed possible!

(The next year we did, in fact, vacation in Ashwaubenon.)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:19 pm Comment On This Post

aug 5th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…. whomever went to mad lengths at a local yacht manufacturer to prevent their listeners from listening to the Rick and Len Show. Back in March, we told you about how after a complaint from an employee, the yacht manufacturer not only banned the Rick and Len Show from their work place, they placed the following announcement in their newsletter, “Notice: The radio station, WAPL will no longer be played in the morning between 6 and 10am when Rick and Len are on due to offensive and inappropriate commentary”. 

Well, this week, we got word that the company took it a step further. After somebody had the audacity of switching the radio station to WAPL BEFORE 10 one recent morning, the company got serious and procured a “lock box” they could use the keep their radio securely locked away until 10am each day to prevent that from ever happening again.

So,

For punishing the innocent radio when, clearly, it’s our lips that need to be locked up tighter than a nun’s love tunnel. And for not heeding the words of Mel Gibson who famously said..."You can take our lives radios, but you can never take our freedom!"

For not realizing that you don't need to lock up a radio to stop your employees from listening to the Rick and Len Show. All you need to do, is let them tune in and eventually they'll gouge their ear drums out on their own.

  We are proud to the name whomever put the radio under lock and key at a local yacht manufactures to keep their workers from listening to US as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:34 am Comment On This Post

aug 3rd


If you've not yet attended Mile of Music in Appleton and wonder why music lovers you know find it to be such a wonderful and special experience, here's some observations I jotted down the day after last year's Mile. -Rick-


Those who still haven't attended MoM probably don't get what the fuss is. "It's just a bunch of bands", I've heard some say. But it really is much more than that. I remember reading an interview 20 some years ago in Rolling Stone magazine with singer-songwriter Lucinda Williams. They asked her what her favorite city was, and she said "New Orleans. Because the streets are f**king electric".

For four days, during MoM, the streets of Appleton become f**king electric! From the second I arrived on the Spatio at Spatz early Thursday afternoon, I could feel the pulse and hum of something special in the air. You could almost hear the electricity pop and crackle around you. It was the same at MoM's 1 & 2. Where does it come from? I have my guesses.

I think it comes in part from most of the shows being free. There is a giddy sense of anticipation that comes with knowing you are going see a band with whom you're completely unfamiliar and may walk out with a new favorite. Because the shows are free, there is no financial risk to keep you from taking a chance on an act you've never heard of, described in the MoM schedule as "freak folk", or "groung" only to learn that you are apparently a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" What's more, if it turns out you're NOT a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" there is nothing to complain about because IT DIDN’T COST YOU ANYTHING. MoM gives you freedom to experiment and explore.

The electric vibe is also generated by so many people coming together, from ages 8 to 80, while sharing in an artistic experience and realizing that no matter how different we may be, we are meeting on common ground. Every day, we all find ourselves in situations where we are standing around awkwardly with people we don't know. But suddenly, at MoM, we find ourselves standing next to strangers with a shared experience we not only WANT to talk about, WE CAN'T HELP BUT TALK ABOUT. "Wasn't Alanna Royale wonderful?" "How were Nobel Theifs". "Did you see The Diamond Light? Were they great?" "What were Ghost Wolves like?" "Is Walt Hamburger really just as dreamy in person?"

In an increasingly polarized world, MoM remains a place where others are actually interested in hearing our opinions and, even more amazingly, we are interested in hearing theirs. The notion that music brings us together isn't exactly new, but it's not every day you see it happen so beautifully and forcefully right before your eyes as you do virtually every minute at MoM.

And finally, the electricity comes from so many hard-working, talented musicians reaching a large and very, very appreciative new audience with their own tunes. The vast majority of musicians at Mile of Music are in their 20s and 30s and while quite accomplished, are still finding their way. The positive reinforcement that they receive from the throngs of people at MoM, FOR PLAYING THEIR OWN, ORIGINAL MUSIC is for them a soothing tonic to any night they spent playing covers for small groups of yammering, drunken stooges who would be happier listening to the latest over-produced pop pablum.

What's more, while together at MoM, these musicians have 4 days to get to know each other, to make new friends, to see each other perform, and to let their musical ideas cross-pollinate in ways that can take them to new places and to even greater heights as artists. Bands from Austin can get new ideas from bands from Nashville. Musicians from Indiana can be inspired by musicians from Canada. Songwriters from California can glean new ideas from songwriters from Ohio. And our ever-growing contingent of AMAZING local talent can see what the rest of the world is doing and show the rest of the world what we are doing here.

So ground yourself. Just one day until the electricity returns!
posted by: Rick and Len at 4:57 am Comment On This Post

aug 2nd


REASONS WHY AN EVIL CLOWN IS WANDERING AROUND GREEN BAY

10. Just swapping make-up tips with Tom Zalaski.

9. Seeing as it’s been 8 months since the Packer-Bear debacle at Lambeau, figured local residents could use a fresh dose of nightmare fuel.

8. He’s trying to prove there actually is something in the world scarier than Mayor Schmitt’s eyebrows.

7. Demonstrating to local residents that not all evil clowns have orange hair and tiny hands.

6. If this summer’s malfunction didn’t make the Zippin Pippin seem even scarier, try riding it while sitting next to an embittered cast-off from season 6 of American Horror Story.

5. Heading over to Seroogy's for quality candy to stock his windowless panel van.

4. Needs to fill his balloons and knows there's no better source of hot air than Guy Zima.

3. In town to attend funeral of 43 other clowns killed in a recent one-car accident.

2. Staring in a Let Me Be Frank Productions musical version of Stephen King's It.

1. He’s probably doing the same thing most evil clowns do in Green Bay, running for city council.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

jul 29th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…18-year-old Evgeniy Tetzlaff of Kimberly who allegedly used an "air soft BB-style firearm" to shoot a 9-year-old boy operating a lemonade stand in the face in a random drive-by. The boy was taken to a hospital to remove the BB embedded in his skin near his eye. Tetzlaff reportedly laughed about the incident later when telling friends about how he had randomly shot the 9-year old boy.

So,

For allegedly almost shooting out a 9-year-old boy’s eye while ironically being totally blind to his own stupidity.

For apparently proving you can make national headlines about lemonade without even having to cheat on Beyonce.

And for apparently thinking that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade but when life gives you an air soft BB-style firearm, you use it to shoot the kid who made the lemonade in the face.

We are proud to name Evgeniy Tetzlaff, the 18 year old Kimberly man accused of shooting a 9 year old kid operating a lemonade stand... as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:07 am Comment On This Post

jul 26th


Temps this weekend were quite high
Throughout most of the Midwest
People were sweating like they were naughty nuns
Waiting for the results of a pregnancy test.

The temperature by itself
Was already hotter than it was in hell.
But with humidity it was steamier
Than a Little Rascal’s film fest held in Jared Fogel’s cell.

To put it in perspective,
I’ll tell you this, my friends,
The humidity on Sunday
Made it soggier than Betty White’s Depends.

All throughout the nation’s heartland
From Minnesota to Indiana
The mugginess made the air feel
Even stuffier than Appleton Mayor Hanna.

It’s was so downright uncomfortable
We were all dripping with sweat.
Because the air outside this weekend
Was even thicker than Bill Jartz neck.

But there is one big positive
To the hot, humid temps nationwide.
'Cuz folks I’m here to tell you.
It was so damn hot....all the Pokémon have died!

That’s right, Pikachu, Pidgey and Squirtle
All died from heat exhaust.
Weedle, Caterpie, and Sandslash, too.
Succumbed to the Pokemon holocaust.

I’m not kidding ‘bout your Poke friends.
This is not a joke.
One by one they all dropped off.
From hyper-thermia and advanced sun stroke.

And not just here in Wisconsin
But all across the nation
Kingler, Gengar and Magnemite
All victims of dehydration.

Charmander and Jigglypuff are still with us
But soon enough will fall.
Since they will not be able to procreate
having sweat off their Pokey balls.

So, Pokemon GO players you can stop now
and start looking where you're walking.
Stop wandering into traffic
and into strangers' homes without knocking.

You can stop trying to catch 'em all
and find another time wasting replacement.
End all that icky socializing with real people
and return to your parent's basements!
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:01 am Comment On This Post

jul 25th




Why did the chicken cross the road? It did Nazi where it was!

July 10th Village of Harrison
A resident on Schmidt Road called police to report finding a baby chick in the roadway. According to the caller, the baby chick appeared to have a blue swastika painted on its back.

July 6th Town of Brillion
A caller reported he was passed by a motorcyclist going in excess of 120 miles an hour. The caller told an officer that he himself then sped up to 95 miles an hour to get the motorcyclist's license plate number. The officer told the caller he couldn't speed just to get a license plate number. According to the officer, he would have to cite both of them for speeding or neither of them. As a result, the caller decided not to report the incident, as he did not want a citation himself. However, the officer did contact the motorcyclist who explained that the only reason he was traveling at a speed in excess of 120 miles an hour is he only had his temporary license and wanted to get home before dusk.

July 10th City of Neenah
A caller on Main Street reported receiving a call from her daughter who said there was "blood everywhere". The woman told police her daughter is with three children, 10, 7 and 1. The caller called back a short time later and told the dispatcher that it was just a hot flavored Cheeto that got into one of the kids' eyes. There is no blood and no emergency.

July 11th City Waukesha
A woman called police and asked officers to give her a ride to her friend's house to get away from her family's dog who "kept coming after her because she was on her period".

July 19th Village of Pewaukee
Police were called to Mattress Firm after three boys, all approximately 12 years of age, entered the store and began jumping on the beds. When told to stop jumping on the beds, the boys left saying something about heading to Menards to cause trouble there.

July 14th City of Waukesha
Two men, one of whom was now bleeding, had gotten into a fist fight outside their cars in a McDonald's drive-thru where one of the men thought the other wasn’t driving thru the drive thru fast enough.

July 23rd City of Plymouth
A Tallgrass Lane resident called police and reported a woman entered her home, yelled something about her grandmother, and then went and laid on the neighbors' lawn.

July 15th Village of Germantown
Police responded to McDonald's after a 911 caller reported the occupant of a vehicle went through the drive-thru lane wearing a Hillary Clinton mask.

July 22nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report finding a set of keys in her garage. She told officers the set of keys were attached to a pair of men's pants. The woman indicated that she knew neither to whom the keys or pants belonged.

July 22nd Village of Grand Rapids
A woman reported a man, going in and out of a garage and pounding his feet on the ground.

June 30th Town of Menasha
A 29-year-old Maplecrest Drive man was charged with obstructing after he falsely reported to officers that he was kidnapped and assaulted. The man admitted to making up the story because he was stressed out.

July 11th City of Brown Deer
Police were called about two 16-year-old boys who were trespassing after a witness reported them on the roof of the Brown Deer United Church of Christ. The boys told responding officers they are on the roof of the church searching for a Pokémon.

July 13th City of Mequon
A 26-year-old man was cited for carrying a concealed weapon, suspended registration and failure to transfer the car's title. The man said he just purchased the car and had to drive it right away in order to buy a cake at the Dairy Queen for his wife's birthday.

July 13th City of Waukesha
Police arrested a man who drove his car through a fence and crashed it into a tree near Gander Mountain. The man left the car and went to a nearby McDonald’s where he ordered and ate a hamburger before police arrived and arrested him. Alcohol appeared to a be a factor.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:44 am Comment On This Post

jul 22nd


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…former Manitowoc Library Director Cherilyn Stewart who stands accused of…get this…creating fraudulent library cards. Here’s how I understand her alleged scam worked. The Manitowoc Library is funded by the city of Manitowoc.

However, the library receives additional funding from Manitowoc County based on the number of books and materials checked out and returned by county residents who don’t live in the city. Stewart is accused of issuing fake library cards for county residents and then using them to make it look like the cards were being used to check out books and materials, thus, resulting in Manitowoc County owing more money toward library funding. And how did Stewart allegedly benefit from this con? Well, more money to buy materials to keep the city library running. How dare she!

Now, to avoid the appearance of impropriety, Manitowoc is searching for an outside police agency to handle the fake library card investigation.

So,

For alleged actions that will undoubtedly lead to more bad publicity for Manitowoc County and the inevitable Netflix documentary series Making a Librarian…er.

For reportedly committing a crime that could result in authorities “throwing the book at her” which if it’s checked out of the Manitowoc Library by a county resident would result in more funding for the library. Damn she’s sneaky!

And for allegedly committing an act she never would have had to commit if only those illiterate bastards in Melnik, Zander, and Shoto would check out a g-damn book once in a while.

We are proud to name Cherilyn Stewart, the former Manitowoc County Library director who resigned in disgrace as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:20 am Comment On This Post

jul 21st


SURPRISES AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION

10. Animal control responded to a late night call after Trump’s hair escaped and was found humping one of the Duck Dynasty guy’s beards.

9. Scott Baio and Antonio Sabato are both still alive and apparently, not the same person.

8. Despite his deep respect for both, Trump chose neither Vladimir Putin or the rotting corpse of Saddam Hussein as his running mate.

7. The devil himself did not make an appearance to personally endorse Trump because he’s too scared of malevolent repercussions from the Clintons.

6. After being run for two whole days by Trump, the convention still hasn’t filed for bankruptcy.

5. His Vice President was chosen through careful behind the scenes vetting process and not a special All Star Edition of Celebrity Apprentice.

4. Security stopped an orangutan at the door that wanted its taint hair back.

3. Despite being repeatedly humiliated by Trump in recent weeks, when Chris Christie appeared on stage last night, he was not wearing a ball gag and leather gimp mask.

2. Donald tore himself away from arduous task of trolling Central European strip clubs looking for the next Mrs. Trump long enough to attend.

1. Hillary did not fly over the Quicken Loans arena last night spelling out "Surrender Donald" with her broomstick.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:52 am Comment On This Post

jul 18th


TOKEY-MON GO: The object of Tokey-Mon Go is to capture as many inhabitants of Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg’s tour buses as you can. The most popular Tokey-Mon to catch are: the dreadlocked Ganja-gar, the bandana wearing Bluntasaur and the rapping Fo-Shizzelly Puff. 

FOLKY-MON GO: The object of Folky-Mon Go, is to catch folk and Americana musicians during Appleton’s Mile of Music. Most popular Folky-Mon to catch are: the banjo playing Plink-a-chu and the goateed, fedora wearing Chisel-Mander.

KOCHY-MON GO: The object of Kochy Mon Go is to catch as many politicians who are backed by the infamous Koch Brothers. The top Kochy-Mon to capture include the totally buff, P90X working Ryan-don and the frightful lazy-eyed Walker-Melion.

HOKEY-POKEY-MON GO: The object of Hokey-Pokey-Mon Go is to catch many annoying dancers as possible. The top Hokey-Pokey-Mon Go catches are the scary Left-Foot-IN-fernape and the dreaded Right-Foot-IN-poleon. But most players would really like to grab a Move-it-all-about-itar.

KARAOKE-MON GO: The object of Karaoke-Mon Go is to catch as many people who are so drunk they think they can sing. Most popular Karaoke-Mon to catch are the Thinks-Shes-Celine Diongonite and the Got-the-moves-but-not-the-talent-like-Jaggligger.
posted by: Rick and Len at 4:00 pm Comment On This Post

jul 18th


July 11th City of Marshfield
A woman called police and reported someone took her driver's license, birth certificate, Social Security Card and son's birth certificate. The woman told police she had put the items in her vacuum cleaner, but she could no longer find them.

July 5th City of Waukesha
Police received a call from an employee of a downtown law office who reported there was a man outside flapping his arms and grooming himself like a bird.

July 3rd City of Greenfield
Police advised a resident to stop firing his Civil War cannon in his yard because neighbors were complaining that it was making their homes shake.

July 5th Village of Jackson
An officer responded to a report of a man driving a lawn tractor in the street. The officer found a 78-year-old man astride his tractor in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. The man explained that he’d lost his license to drive a car after having a stroke; his caregiver was at Summerfest; and he “wanted a damned lottery ticket” but it was too far to walk, so he used the lawn tractor. The officer followed the man as he drove the tractor home but warned him not to do it again.

June 28th City of Neenah
A caller on West Winneconne Avenue stated the back doors were open on a beer truck and kegs were falling out into traffic. They stated there were about five kegs so far and more fell out when going through the roundabout on Green Bay Road. An officer checked the area, but was unable to locate the truck or any kegs.

June 30th City of Brookfield
A man was at Half Price Books trying to sell a stack of books that appear to have been checked out of the public library. An officer called the public library where they confirmed that the books had just been checked out.

June 29th Village of Jackson
A man called police and reported that he had been recording a 48-year-old man launching illegal fireworks in his neighborhood. When the fireworks launcher discovered he was being recorded, he confronted the caller in his backyard, and yelled profanities. Despite being recorded launching the fireworks, the man insisted to police that someone else had launched the fireworks.

June 28th City of Waukesha
Police responded to a report of a man leering at people and photographing children at a park. Officers suggested the man "follow the golden rule". However, despite the warning, the man told police he would not alter his behavior even if it made people uncomfortable because he was "on a crusade against youth in the park" and their alleged "gang tactics".

June 22nd Town of Brillion
A resident called police because their neighbor’s chicken crows between 4 and 7 daily and they were wondering if the barking dog statute would cover that. Apparently, since chickens are not members of the dog family, it does not. The neighbors, however, plan to take care of the problem but butchering the chickens.

July 5th City of Waukesha
Two drunk men attempted a donut jacking at a local Mobil gas station. According to the police report, the men were harassing the delivery driver and trying to steal his donuts. The drunk men eventually just grabbed the donuts and threw them around the station.

July 5th City of Greenfield
A suspect described as a five-foot, three-inch-tall, 50-year-old white woman with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, reportedly stole two baskets of begonias hanging outside a local residence before making her getaway on a bicycle.

July 7th Village of Jackson
A concerned resident reported to police that a vehicle stopped by some children and one of the occupants yelled about they're being free ice cream. An officer located the vehicle nearby, occupied by teenagers, who explained that one of them dropped his Dilly Bar on the ground and joked to the children about “free ice cream”.

July 15th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous caller reported a man who is singing so loudly inside his own home that it could be heard outside his home. The caller did not appreciate the man's singing.

July 8th City of Antigo
Police responded to a report of a bread truck driver who lost his buns.

July 11th City of Sheboygan
Feuding neighbors on Geele Street called police to report an ongoing controversy. Police told the neighbors if they called again they would be cited. The neighbors called again and they were cited.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:05 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th

Photo by Graham Images

Must be the Mile of Music effect! Appleton lands at #44 on a list from a site called Value Penguin for best places in America for music fans! Bonus: Madison at #4 and Milwaukee at 12!

Top US Cities For Music Fans:

1. Nashville-Davidson–Murfreesboro–Franklin, TN

2. Urban Honolulu, HI

3. Seattle-Tacoma-Bellevue, WA

4. Madison, WI

5. Austin-Round Rock, TX

6. Albany-Schenectady-Troy, NY

7. Tucson, AZ

8. Rochester, NY

9. Pittsburgh, PA

10. San Francisco-Oakland-Hayward, CA

11. Salt Lake City, UT

12. Milwaukee-Waukesha-West Allis, WI

13. Portland-Vancouver-Hillsboro, OR-WA

14. Eugene, OR

15. Santa Maria-Santa Barbara, CA

16. Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, MN-WI

17. Asheville, NC

18. Burlington-South Burlington, VT

19. Boulder, CO

20. Binghamton, NY

21. Wilmington, NC

22. Omaha-Council Bluffs, NE-IA

23. Fort Collins, CO

24. Cape Coral-Fort Myers, FL

25. Duluth, MN-WI

26. New York-Newark-Jersey City, NY-NJ-PA

27. Los Angeles-Long Beach-Anaheim, CA

28. Sioux Falls, SD

29. Chicago-Naperville-Elgin, IL-IN-WI

30. New Orleans-Metairie, LA

31. Las Vegas-Henderson-Paradise, NV

32. Philadelphia-Camden-Wilmington, PA-NJ-DE-MD

33. Denver-Aurora-Lakewood, CO 34. Trenton, NJ

35. Colorado Springs, CO

36. Lincoln, NE

37. Bridgeport-Stamford-Norwalk, CT

38. Boston-Cambridge-Newton, MA-NH

39. Louisville/Jefferson County, KY-IN

40. Gainesville, FL

41. Santa Cruz-Watsonville, CA

42. St. Louis, MO-IL

43. Buffalo-Cheektowaga-Niagara Falls, NY

44. Appleton, WI

45. Champaign-Urbana, IL

46. Lynchburg, VA

47. Charlottesville, VA

48. Rockford, IL

49. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV

50. Portland-South Portland, ME
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:48 am Comment On This Post

jul 15th


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week… 27-year-old Sarah Bradehoft, from Star Prairie, in western Wisconsin who is facing prostitution charges after she allegedly performed sexual services for money with at least five different men on separate occasions all inside a chicken coop.

So,

For not understanding that a long handled implement for loosening soil is the only hoe you’re supposed to find on a farm.

For not realizing that on a chicken farm, “pullet” is a noun meaning a young hen, not a verb indicating what you’re willing to do for twenty bucks.

And for ignoring the fact that while a condom may protect you from gonorrhea or syphilis, it’s not going to do jack frickin squat against avian influenza. We are proud to name Sarah Bradehoft, the Wisconsin woman who allegedly was charging for sexual services in a chicken coop as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post

jul 13th


A woman in Polk County in Northwest Wisconsin was arrested for allegedly performing sexual acts for money...in a chicken coop.

SIGNS SOMEBODY IS RUNNING A BROTHEL IN YOUR CHICKEN COOP

10. Eggs not the only thing getting laid.

9. Instead of "cock a doodle doo", all you hear from the coop is "cock a doodle do..me".

8. A blonde girl keeps making that motion with her hand like she’s tossing feed but that’s not feed in her hand.

7. No clucking or plucking but still a lot of ucking going on.

6. Eggs retrieved from coop too rubbery to eat due to hens consuming so many used condoms.

5. When she was busted and charged, the officer didn’t know if he should spell “foul play” it with a “u” or a “w”.

4. The girl's pimp bears a striking resemblance to Colonel Sanders.

3. When local gamers wander by looking for Pokémon, all they find is a man poking woman.

2. You keep hearing this…"Oh my god, there's a chicken in the bed!" (Paris Hilton audio)

1. To make it seem more like a legitimate site for illegal prostitution, they’ve decorated the coop look to look like a Grand Chute motel room.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:47 am Comment On This Post

jul 13th


July 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man called police to report finding what appeared to be a suspicious looking potato in his yard. The man described the suspicious tuber to police by saying it appears to be a potato wrapped in black electrical tape.

June 28th Village of Pewaukee
A woman called police and reported being bitten by a stray pig that wandered into the Stop N Go Convenience store.

July 5th City of Green Bay
Officers were called to a South Baird Street residence to assist a man with diarrhea.

June 30th City of Waukesha
Police received a report of a man who locked himself inside a gas station bathroom for half an hour. According to the police report, the man was "shouting and clapping his hands in the bathroom and later dancing in the street".

June 17th City of Chilton
Police were called after a known subject struck the caller in the face with a fish.

July 7th City of Sheboygan
A caller reported a suspicious customer at Pick n’ Save. The caller told police the customer was buying lots of whiskey and rope.

June 25th City of Waukesha
Police caught a couple having sex in broad daylight on the baseball field at St. Mary's Catholic school. Officers found the couple going at it on the third baseline.

June 24th City of Delafield
Police received a report of loud adults on an apartment patio. When police arrived, officers found four adults drinking outside. An apartment resident then showed police his new Frisbee golf baskets. Officers "advised the man that they were very neat" but told the group to keep the noise down.

July 1st City of Green Bay
Police were called and alerted to the fact that a group of 10-year-old girls on Ashland Avenue where doing cartwheels in traffic.

June 14th City of Chilton
A caller reported smoke coming from his car. Responding officers discovered a subject had lit a smoke bomb in his hand, panicked and dropped it. The smoke bomb rolled under the caller's car and went off. The subject then ran away but later came back and explained to the car owner what had happened.

June 26th City of Waukesha
A man agreed to remove a sign from his camper that read "free candy inside" after an anonymous caller told police it looked suspicious. The man told officers his boss taped the "free candy" sign to the back of the camper as a joke and he had left it up.

July 5th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman told police that her daughter had been stealing items from her home and stole her special heating pad that the caller indicated she cannot sleep without.

June 21st Village of Antigo
Woman reported to police that she was the victim of a hit-and-run when a black Ford struck her car while it was parked in an area business. After wiping a layer of dirt and bugs off the woman's car, she determined there were no dents or scratches. It appears that the layer of dirt and bugs may have protected the woman's car against hit and run damage.

July 8th City of Green Bay
An older male customer at Wal-Mart on West Mason Street approached the Wal-Mart greeter and told him he would blow up the whole store if the greeter didn't fix his television set.

June 28th City of Waukesha
An anonymous caller told police they thought a man who is cutting his grass while wearing nothing but a Speedo was dressed inappropriately. Police located the man who told them that there was nothing indecent about his Speedo.

June 30th Village of Jackson
A bank employee reported that a man was pacing up and down the sidewalk of their business. The caller informed police that the man had hit a curb while driving through a roundabout flattening a tire. When police arrived, the 43-year-old man told the officer that when he called his wife for help, she hung up on him. When the officer called the man’s wife, she started yelling and screaming at him, “Why in the hell are the police involved? What the hell is going on?” When the officer asked the woman if she was going to assist her husband, she again started yelling, saying that he should learn to take care of himself.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:27 am Comment On This Post

jul 12th


A 30-year-old Oshkosh woman police say hit a man with her car and then carried him for two blocks on the hood of the vehicle. Perhaps she didn't know when to stop her car...


If you’ve turned off your GPS in favor of just asking directions from the guy dangling from the hood of your moving vehicle…it might be time to stop your car.

If just trying to get home, you’ve slammed into more things than a Kardashian sister’s loins on an NBA All-Star weekend…it might be time to stop your car.

If the guy on the hood of your car is squealing louder and more frequently than your brakes…it might be time to stop your car.

If your brakes are squealing louder and more frequently than Jared Fogel on his hands and knees on prison shower night…it might be time to stop your car.

If there are suddenly more flashing blue lights in your vicinity than a K-mart stock clerk’s…it might be time to stop your car.

If your tires have left as many skids marks on the road as the drivers around you have left in their pants…it might be time to stop your car.

If when you turn on your windshield wipers, instead of making a gentle squeaking sound, it sounds more like “For the love of god and all things holy, stop your car you crazy bitch” …it's definitely time to stop your car.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:01 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st


June 29th City of Manitowoc
Police arrested a woman on suspicion of threatening her neighbor with a pistol over a dispute about a missing duck. The 69-year-old woman allegedly approached her neighbor, a 36-year-old man, to demand he prove he did not have her missing pet waterfowl. The woman wanted her neighbor to search his garage and see that her duck was not on his property. She then drew a pistol from her shirt pocket and pointed it toward his stomach. The neighbor reacted by disarming the woman and pushing her to the ground. The woman told police she was aware that bullets were in the gun and that the gun safety was off.

June 14th City of Neenah
A Melrose Court caller reported having problems with neighbor children always trespassing in her yard. According to the caller, the children sometimes sit at her picnic table and once left a bicycle propped against her house. They have been spoken to in the past, but the caller wanted a police officer to speak with them.

June 29th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous caller told police a woman on her block swears all the time, and the caller can't even go outside because of all the swearing.

June 29th City of Sheboygan
A caller on St. Clair Avenue told police their neighbor threatened to shoot them in a dispute over a shopping cart.

June 15th City of Glendale
Police were called to a Pick n Save where a loss prevention officer had an alleged shoplifter in custody. The woman admitted to stealing $42 worth of seafood. She told the arresting officer she only did it because she was "addicted to shrimp".

June 29th City of Beaver Dam
An officer was waved down by a citizen near the Fleet Farm and informed that his car had just been vandalized with maxi pads typically used for feminine hygiene.

June 29th City of Sheboygan
Police were dispatched after receiving a report of a woman rolling in the grass.

June 15th City of Neenah
A caller stated an intoxicated male entered St. Paul Lutheran Church on Commercial Street. The caller indicated they got the man to leave and locked the church, and now the man is outside pounding on the church doors. Contact was made with the drunk man, who stated he is having a rough time and wanted to pray in the church. He was advised to go home and pray and come back to the church to pray when he is sober.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:26 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len show Weenie of the Week… the still at-large person who has been stealing hundreds, if not thousands of dollars of plants from porches of Appleton homes and even from City Park in the middle of the night.

According to police, a plethora of potted plants have potentially been pilfered by Appleton’s perplexing porch and park plant purloiner.

So,

For committing a series of plant crimes that Appleton Police have yet been unable to nip in the bud.

For apparently not understanding that usually when criminals brag about getting away with a lot of green they mean money not a pot of barely budding nasturtiums.

And for apparently not realizing that you can dig up all the plants you want but you don't really understand gardening until you've have your own ass planted in a jail cell for a while....

We're proud to name Appleton’s perplexing porch and park plant purloiner...as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:16 am Comment On This Post