http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/5cwg

This week, Dish Network subscribers lost FOX 11 in a dispute between WLUK's owners and the satellite provider. Most people assume it's all about money. However, I've heard that Dish Network is looking for certain non-monetary concessions from FOX 11.

DISH NETWORKS DEMANDS FROM FOX 11

10. The station must agree to no longer broadcast images of Tom Milbourn during hours when small children or Dish Network customers with low gag thresholds are watching.

9. Must agree to compensate any cable viewer whose television is damaged by their confused dog dry humping it during audition rounds of American Idol.

8. Must add 50 African-American reporters in effort to balance out the sheer, extreme ultra-whiteness of Pete Petoniak.

7. During Packer post game shows, must provide competent professional translator to inform Dish Network viewers what the hell Johnnie Gray is talking about.

6. Must make show Living With Amy more interesting by each week, having a different Green Bay Correctional Facility convicted sex offender actually live with Amy.

5. Dish Network customers who become contestants on Wheel of Fortune must be allowed to purchase vowels at 80% of the market value.

4. FOX 11 must agree to, each week, randomly draw a name of a Dish Network subscriber who will be given a chance to use a large sock of manure to try to slap that stupid, grin off Drew Smith's face.

3. Dish Network subscribers will be e-mailed the correct answers to all Jeopardy questions at least 24 hours before broadcasts so they can memorize them and look smart when watching show with non Dish Network customer friends.

2. The station must agree to cover all funeral expenses of Dish Network subscribers who die of boredom during local Packer post game show.

1. Good Day Wisconsin will no longer be allowed to call itself Good Day Wisconsin on days that clearly suck the big one. (like today!)

Kyle Kinane, who is headlining this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton will join us Friday morning at 8. VERY funny stuff! If you don't know what "sunflowering" is, check out the clip below to find out!

Call 920-734-JOKE to make your reservations or just click here and order your tickets on-line at Skyline's new website!

Click here to get a big discount on tickets to see Len in the show Celebrity Autobiography at the Meyer Theater in Green Bay. Tickets are normally $34 each. However, WAPL listeners can get them for just $20 by entering WAPL (all capitals!) where it asks for a "promotion code".

Actors and comics will read passages that run the gamut from the "poetry" of Suzanne Somers to the shocking "romance tips" from Tommy Lee.

Len will be reading passages from the autobiographies of Kenny Loggins, Britney Spears, Burt Reynolds or Loni Anderson and more!

Don't miss the show the New York Daily News says will "make you weep with laughter" this Saturday night at the beautiful Meyer Theater in Green Bay.

Now that Charlie Sheen has been fired from Two and a Half Men, here are some new job ideas.

APPLETON DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC WORKS
By Charlie's own admission he was "bangin' seven-gram rocks" of cocaine and "finishing them", and anyone who can get rid of that much white powder that fast would have to be able to do a better job at snow removal than the guy currently in that job.

CHICAGO BEARS QUARTERBACK COACH
If anyone needs a transfusion of tiger's blood and Adonis DNA, it's Jay Cutler.

WAPL MORNING SHOW HOST
If only requirement is the ability to babble incoherent gibberish, he may be the only person suited to do that even better than Rick or Len.

FAKE MADISON PROTESTER
If Governor Walker again considers hiring some "troublemakers" to infiltrate the protests, he'd be hard pressed to find one who could make more trouble than Charlie.

WFRV NEWS ANCHOR
Pair Charlie with Tom Zalaski because the only thing more interesting that a show hosted by a guy who thinks he's a "total bitchin' rock star from Mars" is a show hosted by two guys who think they are "total bitchin' rock star from Mars". (and that's "winning"!)

WISCONSIN STATE BUDGET DIRECTOR
You'd have to be crazy or high to want that job. Why not hire a guy who is both?

WISCONSIN DEMOCRATIC SENATOR
Charlie says he can endure anything because he's been to hell, which is virtually no different than weeks hiding in Rockford, Illinois.

The show Celebrity Autobiography is coming to the Meyer Theater in Green Bay this Saturday. Check out this video from Nightline that shows some of the dozens of different celebrities who have participated in this show in other cities. Click here to get your tickets now!

Len will be the local celebrity that will be part of the show.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUn6XwY0Dk

Orit Fox, the Israeli Pamela Anderson, got bitten on the boob by a snake this past week. Fox was performing with the snake, pretending to kiss it, when the animal retaliated with it's own "kiss". Check out the video here.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Oq6usDGjg

His special on Comedy Central recently debuted and he's making a triumphant return to Wisconsin. He's Shane Mauss and he's so funny, Rick and Len had to flee the country this week just to avoid being so soundly outclassed.

Shane will join Ross Maxwell in the studio from 9 to 10 Friday morning as he holds down the fort until Rick and Len find away to sneak back into the U.S. of A.

Make your reservations to see Shane between now and Saturday at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton by calling 920-734-JOKE. Thursday night is WAPL Night with 2 for 1 admission!
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/aspen/next/Fishing

It has only taken me 5 days to be able to blog something from the Dominican Republic...but HOLA!

We are having some great times with 126 of our Rockin' Apple friends. The Catelonia Bavaro Resort is absolutely fantastic with the caveat that we have had a few technical issues. But then again, it wouldn't be a WAPL International Incident if everything went off without a hitch. Cerveza makes it better, though!

Today was Len's 50th birthday and he spent it like on old fart. Do the show, play golf, take a nap. Awesome. Now get off my lawn!

This morning Len, at his daughter's request, donned some "fairy wings" she stashed in his suitcase and skipped around the broadcast area. His 12-year-old instructed him to "embrace your inner fairy." So he did in very fairy-ish fashion. What we won't do for the show!

Every one of our seven International Incident trips has been spectacular...but this one is shaping up to be the best yet. Wish you could all be here. Maybe next year...?