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apr 14th 2010

The Packers in conjunction with St, Norbert's have created the Vincent Award, a medallion that bears the likeness of Vince Lombardi as if he were a victorious, laurel-crowned hero in Roman times. The medals will be awarded to a few folks at the upcoming national Sport and Society conference to be held at St. Norb's the end of May. The back of the medallion bears the Latin inscription "Quod nefas ibi accidit" meaning "What the hell's going on out here?" Seriously!

We, at the Rick and Len Show think there are other former members of the Packer family who deserve their own medallions with Latin inscriptions. Here's what they would say.

Mike Sherman: Operor illa pardus planto meus puga pyga vultus pinguis? Translation: Do these pants make my ass look fat?

Ray Rhodes: Operor vos have ullus candied? Translation: Got any gum?

Brett Favre: Ego mos permissum vos teneo quis is should narro in semestris. Translation: I will let you know what it should say in six months. (its the only coin that when flipped always lands on it's side!)

Ray Nitschke: Dictis eram a cattus. Translation: Butkis is a pussy.

Najeh Davenport: Ego loco a donum in vestri immunda vestitus alveus Translation: I left you a gift in your laundry hamper.

Tony Mandrich: Illud es non erigo. Illud es meus testis. Translation: These are not raisins. These are my testicles.

Marc Chmura: Vetus satis minuo vetus satis ut semino. Translation: Old enough to bleed old enough to breed!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 14th 2010
I'm sick of this controversy concerning Tiger Woods being caught swearing during The Masters. He dropped a g-damn and a Jeesy Creesy and from sportscaster Jim Nantz's reaction you'd have thought he butchered and ate a live baby on 18th green. Come on. It's golf! You're trying to hit a dimpled ball with an oddly shaped club into a hole a fraction of the size of the one between the Octomom's legs and you're supposed to do that with a vocabulary less colorful than that of the Vice President of the United States. F.U. Jim Nantz!

To me, golf without swearing is like...

...Baseball without spitting.

...Football without ass slapping.

...Basketball without fathering illegitimate children!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Politics without bickering.

...Eating with swallowing.

Dating Tiger....without swallowing!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Rosie O'Donnell without flannel.

...Lindsey Lohan without crabs.

...Bombshell McGee without enough red ink to be an accountant at Mercury Marine!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Willie Nelson's tour bus without more smoke than a forest fire.

...Whitney Houston without more crack than the Liberty Bell.

...Amy Winehouse's arm without more tracks than the Soo Line!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Star Trek convention without virgins.

...The set of The View without a jumbo sized bottle of Midol.

...The Fox 11 cloak room without an extra-large hat rack!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Toyota driver's underwear without skid marks.

...Like John Gosselin without either vinegar or water.

...The bride at a Menasha wedding without flies!

In fact, golf without swearing is like...

My wiener without dust!!!

--Rick--
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 14th 2010
Police in Fairfax County, Virginia have charged two people with running an unlicensed dental practice after a patient who developed an infection reported them. Police say that a woman who developed an infection after one of the men performed a root canal led officers to his "office". There police found a door leading to a basement "office" hidden behind a refrigerator!

Gee, too bad there weren't any red flags that these guys weren't on the up-and-up. To prevent this from happening to you, we at the Rick and Len Show have created this list of signs that your dentist might not be licensed!

If the needle he sticks in your mouth came right out of Courtney Love's left arm...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If you tell him you have pyorrhea and he recommends Imodium A-D...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the tool he uses to poke at your gums...is circumcised...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If you ask him for gas and he points his butt in your face and tells you to pull his finger...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If instead of using a sedative to put you to sleep, he just flips on the FOX 11 news...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If, for reasons known only to him, whenever he sticks his fingers in your mouth they taste like cabbage...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the diploma hanging on his wall has Sally Struthers' name spelled wrong...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If he charged you $2,000 for a crown and it turned out to be one of those paper one's from Burger King...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If after he gives you gas, you still feel pain but you speak in a high, funny voice for about 30 seconds…he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the whitening solution he's using on your teeth is coming right out of a bottle marked Liquid Paper...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the string he's flossing your teeth with is still attached to the tampon...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If, while you're in the chair, he climbs up on your chest just to take a leak in the spit sink...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If not only does he blindfold you during your procedure, he does so with the panties he just told you to remove...he might not be a licensed dentist.

And if the door to his basement office is hidden behind a refrigerator...he's definitely not a licensed dentist!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 14th 2010
Great photo from the Post Crescent of Len blowing the roof off the dump at Monday night's WAMI (Wisconsin Area Music Industry) Awards at the the Fox Cities Performing Art Center.

Appleton native Corey Chisel won Artist, Song and Album of the Year. And WAPL won Radio Station of the Year. Yay us!!!

For a complete list of winners, click here!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 13th 2010
It's spring when a young man's (and in many cases, a young woman's) fancy turns to...golf. Our old friend Bil Dwyer has a a very funny web site called The Range that is filled with great tips on things like "Dog Putting" and golfing with bowling balls!

The Range: Bowling vs. Golf from Drinks at Six on Vimeo.


The Range: Dog Putting from Drinks at Six on Vimeo.


See Bil in person this week (Wednesday through Saturday) at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Make your reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE.

http://www.therangeshow.com/dog_putting.php
http://www.therangeshow.com/bowling_vs_golf.php
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 13th 2010
If you've been enjoying the live sturgeon porn from the Wolf River, look for the following sturgeon porn DVD's at an adult book store or bait shop near you!

Gill-ty of Love

Wages of Fin

Giver in the River

Spawn of the Dead

Bottom-Feeding Bitches

Smells Like Fish

Beluga Boogaloo

Surgin' Sturgeon

Love on the Rocks

Ridgeback River Sluts

Rockin' in Shicoton

Slick Males with Scales and Tails
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 13th 2010
The sturgeon are humping! The sturgeon are humping!

Check out the live sturgeon porn from the Wolf River at http://wolfrivercam.com/Shiocton%20Cam%202.html
Live streaming video by Ustream
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 12th 2010
What do you think is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME?

Starting next Monday (4-19), every weekday morning at about 9 (until the end of May) we'll select one entry and play that day's BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!

If we select your entry, we'll put you in a drawing to win an iPod Touch!!!

Enter now by clicking on the BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME icon!

And just for fun, tell us WHY you think your selection is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!!!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 12th 2010
March 26th Village of Bellevue
A 25-year-old man at Wal-Mart was caught stealing Trojan condoms… and a pregnancy test kit.

March 22nd Village of Stockbridge
A West Lake Street resident called police to report someone tossed a decorative light and a trash barrel into his yard…and he believes he knows who did it!

April 3rd City of Portage
Police investigated a small fire at the Market Basket. A 14-year-old boy was referred to juvenile authorities for arson after he told police he accidently set fire to plastic beverage bottles after trying to melt the labels with a lighter inside the store. Employees and a customer put out the fire with cups of water.

April 5th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a home on South Lincoln Street where a 20-year-old woman reported that a 20-year-old man was ringing the doorbell and would not leave. Police found out that the man was attempting to drop off an Easter basket.

March 23rd City of Appleton
Police received a call from a Strawflower Drive resident who reported that two persons were threatening to throw tacos at the reporting party's house. They said this is an ongoing problem.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 10th 2010
Last summer I spent some time in Chicago. While I was there, I visited the the new Modern Wing of the Art Institute. In addition to the paintings and sculptures, the Modern Wing also has installations by "video artists". One of them is by an artist named Bruce Nauman and is called Clown Torture. This is just part of it.

I post this one for one reason only. As an answer to people who ask me, "What goes on it that head of yours?" Finally, I have answer. This is EXACTLY what is going on inside my head 24/7!!!

--Rick--


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2acTEQh-pMY&feature=player_embedded
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 9th 2010
We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake. The manager reportedly arrived at work shortly after the bank opened last Thursday while a robbery was in progress but didn't notice anything unusual and went right to her office. While she was sitting at her desk, the gun wielding robber was locking all the tellers in the vault. She was reportedly still sitting at her desk when the robber walked out the north door of the bank with between 10 and 100 thousand dollars.

So,

For not paying attention while somebody just walks off with customer's hard earned money...which I thought was the Federal Government's job.

For proving that ignorance isn't just bliss...it's apparently also a management position.

And for being even less aware of what's going on around her than Helen Keller in oven mitts.

We are proud to name the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake as this week’s Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 8th 2010
He's done time and now he's doing the Rick and Len Show. This poor bastard can't catch a break!

Dave Mordal (my personal fave from the 1st & 3rd seasons of NBC's Last Comic Standing) will join us in the studio Friday morning. See Dave at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Dave's even recording his new CD during his shows this week at the Skyline!

Tonight (4.8) is WAPL night. Mention that when you make your reservation at 920-734-JOKE and get 2 for 1 admission to see the host of the Discovery Channel's Wreckreation Nation and the funniest man to ever come out of Elk River, Minnesota: Dave Mordal.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgbM3KOCcv4&feature=player_embedded
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 8th 2010
Near tragedy preceded opening day at Miller Park on Monday. During the annual Sausage Relay, the Italian Sausage was run over by his police escort. The sausage is okay. However, what does it say about your Major League Baseball team when it seems the only time they make national headlines is when something bad happens to one of it's sausage mascots? And why do the bad things only seem to happen to the Italian Sausage? And I wonder if former Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon has an alibi for the time of the accident.


http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/racing-sausage-collides-motorcycle-10297012
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 6th 2010
Brett Favre's daughter is due to give birth any day now. According to one Minnesota newspaper, if Brett comes back this season, it will make him the NFL's first ever active player-grandfather. We thought this would be an excellent time to revisit the signs...

YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO BE PLAYING PRO FOOTBALL.

If when you were in high school, not only were the referees' uniforms black and white so was your senior photo...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If the helmet you wore in your first game was as leathery as the skin on your face is today...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your touchdown celebration is restricted to having a nice cup of warm Ovaltine...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you need to take two Viagra just to give someone a stiff arm...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your idea of "out of bounds" is all the jokes your teammates make about your bald spot...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you can remember when the nickel defense was just a penny...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your excuse for not being able to read a defense is "these damn bifocals" ...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you celebrate a big victory by sneaking up behind your coach and dumping a bucket of Metamucil over his head...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If "the long snapper" is the name by which you refer to your ex-wife...you might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you think "roid rage" is getting angry when somebody steals your tube of Preparation H...you’re definitely too old to be playing pro football.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 5th 2010
SIGNS THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE YOUR TEAM'S WORLD SERIES SEASON.

If your manager is in best shape of his life from all the time he spent walking out to the pitcher's mound during spring training...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If the only improvement the club has made since last season is the addition of a new team manicurist to eliminate the number of painful and embarrassing sack scratching injuries...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If to bolster concession sales during these tough economic times, the team is now giving players a 10 percent discount on all beer and hot dogs they buy before the 5th inning...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If your team decides to save millions of dollars on a quality closer by just mercifully just ending all your games after seven innings...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If your team receives a grant from the National Park Service based on your pitching staff having more damaged limbs than the Chequamegon National Forest after a tornado...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If the owner has announced a plan to combine the designated hitter with designated driver so your team’s many drunken players now at least have someone to drive them home after the game...this might not be your team's World Series season.

And if your team's logo looks suspiciously like the one on the left...as usual, this will definitely not be your team's World Series season.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 5th 2010

This weekend, the Post Crescent reported that back in February, a Waupaca police officer Tasered an 85-year-old man who wandered away from the Veteran's Home at King. We're sure the officer must have had a good excuse...or maybe even ten good excuses.

WAUPACA COP'S TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR TASERING AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN

10. Afraid the old man was going to sink his teeth into him...and they weren’t even in his mouth.

9. He thought the old man was having a heart attack and mistook the Taser for a defibrillator.

8. The man was so old he reminded the cop of Andy Rooney and who wouldn't want to Taser Andy Rooney?

7. Knew the old man was packing a powerful weapon...the unparalleled political clout of the AARP.

6. Feared the old man might have been tripping on Geritol or Metamucil.

5. Same reason Jeanne sits so far away from Rick. Didn't want to get covered in old person smell.

4. Was concerned the man had taken Viagra and wanted to subdue him without getting close enough to get an eye poked out.

3. It was a cold February day and the thought of doing something that would cause him to burn in hell seemed like a good idea at the time.

2. Who needs an excuse? Taserin' folks is fun!

1. He had already used up all his pepper spray on a disabled kid.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 5th 2010
March 16th City of Neenah
A woman called police to report she heard loud banging noises on her front door the previous evening and in the morning
found a large Christmas wreath on her front door.

March 18th Shawano County
A 47-year-old female who works at the T-Mart called the Sheriff’s office and complained to deputies that one of her customers… “gives her the creeps”.

March 31st City of Waupun
A woman on West Franklin Street called police to report her 6-year-old son was out of control and running around outside with a shovel.

March 16th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a half-naked man getting out of his car at the Taco Bell drive-thru, grabbing his tacos and fleeing. A Taco Bell employee sustained a minor injury in the incident.

March 19th Village of Sherwood
A theft was reported on Windsor Court. The reporting party came home a week ago and a woman was there with high heels and all dressed up. This woman jumped in bed with the reporting party's husband. She reported that a collection of linen tablecloths that she had for 30 years were missing, among other items. She believes this woman with high heels took them.

March 21st City of De Pere
Police were called to break up a domestic dispute on Samantha Street where a man spit on his girlfriend and the girlfriend broke a beer bottle over his head. The woman was apparently upset with the boyfriend because he had burned the pot roast.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 4th 2010
This past week, the Green Bay Packers elected Greg Koch to the team's Hall of Fame. Greg played for the Packers back in the mid 80's. When he left to go to the Dolphins, he had less than kind things to say about Green Bay. We responded and so did WAPL listeners.

Here's the story from the November 3rd, 1986 issue of Sports Illustrated. (Click the article twice to make it bigger!)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 2nd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...35-year-old Brian Kluck who this week had his preliminary hearing set on charges related to a string of peeping incidents on Appleton's north side. The charges relate to a 2008 bust when Kluck was arrested for looking into bathroom windows and was found to be keeping detailed lists of women in the neighborhood that he had successfully seen nude and those he still wanted to see nude. Kluck reportedly told police he even kept track of when some of the women routinely showered and admitted he had even taken photos of at least three particular women.

So,

For making it clear why the words "peep" and "creep" share so many letters.

For doing more to make take the pleasure out of a woman’s shower time than a steel wool loofa.

For giving even more women the hee-jeebees than my high school yearbook photo.

We are proud to name Brian Kluck of Appleton as this week's Rick and Len... Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 1st 2010
Comic Jeff Havens will stop my the Rick and Len Show on Friday morning. Jeff has his own Comedy Central special debuting later this year and is the author of the book Uncrapify Your Life. He's going to have his hands full if he thinks he can "uncrapify" the Rick and Len Show.

See Jeff this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/StupidNamesForYourSweetheart
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post