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may 31st 2013


10. Without his shimmering bald head, the shiniest thing in the studio will be the gold Spandex unitard Zalaski wears when he wrestles himself.

9. No longer need to schedule extra recycling pick up to take away all the empty Jameson bottles every St. Patrick’s Day.

8. With no ordained deacon in their employ, the only religious ceremonies that will occur in the newsroom will be when Shelly Boutott butchers live goats as her annual sacrifice to her dark lord Satan.

7. Unspoken sexual tension between him and Erin to be replaced with more awkward banter between her and Dave Miller.

6. Without beloved radio personalities stopping by to become victims of Mahoney’s dementia fueled pie attacks, whenever the rest of the staff wants to get slathered in flying whipped dairy product they’ll have to just cream themselves.

5. News studio will smell of fresh monkey feces following the hiring of only replacement with the right skills to correctly predict the weather just as well as Tom did.

4. Without his old toupee laying around anymore, now when you see a big wad of matted hair in the building, there’s a 50% chance Erin Davisson didn’t clean up after shaving her legs.

3. Without his old toupees laying around anymore, now when you see a big wad of matted hair in the building, there’s a 50% chance Zalaski’s pubic wig fell off.

2. Justin Steinbrink to inherit the dice, dart board and flipping coin Tom has used to predict weather throughout his career.

1. Without his daily forecasts, the only thing that will be totally wrong 90% of the time will be Zalalski’s choice of suits.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:15 am Comment On This Post

may 28th 2013

May 18th City of Waupun
A resident called police to report that a woman about a block away keeps taking pictures of her daughter. Police talked to the photographer, who said she is only pretending to take photos, so people feel they are being watched so they follow the rules. Police advised the woman to stop doing that.

May 22nd Village of Bonduel
A East Bowler Street woman called police at 4:00 am to report her sister and some guy were at her home and wouldn't leave. While the woman was still on he phone to police, the sister started throwing beer bottles at her.

May 21st City of Shawano
Someone called police to report the smell of marijuana coming from an East Fifth Street residence. Responding officers found the smell was actually coming from a skunk.

May 20th City of Waukesha
Police received a report a missing envelope that contained a $5 bill. The caller said the envelope was on their kitchen table and when they returned, it was missing. After a search by police, the missing envelope was located on a kitchen chair where it had apparently been blown by a ceiling fan.

May 20th  City of Nekoosa
A woman reported someone got into her residence and spilled jelly on her clothes.

May 20th City of Wausau
Police responded to a report of a woman shoplifting beef sticks. When confronted by police, the woman apologized and offered to pay for what she had shoplifted. She then began pulling merchandise from her purse, including a bottle of lotion, two packages of beef sticks, a stuffed animal and several bookmarks before pulling a number of scarves from her bra. As she pulled the scarves out the scarves, several thousand dollars of heroin popped out of her brassiere.

May 17th Village of Biron
A woman reported people at her door were refusing to leave unless she bought them cigarettes.

May 19th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An officer responded to an anonymous report of a man on a four-wheeler, followed by two pedestrians with open intoxicants. The officer determined the "open intoxicant" they were  imbibing was...iced tea.

May 22nd City of  Shawano
Police responded to a report of a vandalized vehicle on East Division Street. The culprit left behind a note on the car reading, "Sugar daddy, you are blocking our view".

May 11th City of Neenah
Police were dispatched to Cameron Way for a man who checked into a hotel with his daughter and was acting strange. Employees at the hotel were concerned for the child’s safety because he drove to a motel in a car that had a tire that had been flat for some time. Then the man asked an employee to throw away a bag of clothes and he was in possession of pornography. Officers determined nothing criminal was going on.

May 21st City of Shawano
An Acorn Street woman concerned about her brother called police after finding several text messages on his phone that used the word "grits". She was concerned that "grits" was slang for drugs. The brother claimed it was slang for cigarettes.

May 20th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a 5-year-old girl in a blue dress on Lincoln Street climbing up a power pole.

May 23rd Town of Hubbard
A man called the sheriff's department to report someone rang his doorbell.

May 21st Town of Chester
A woman called the sheriff's department to report that the belt came off her tractor and she believed it might have been an act of vandalism. A responding deputy determined it was not vandalism. The belt was just old and cracked.

May 12th City of Shorewood
A resident called police after picking up “several pieces of dog feces” from their yard. The caller wanted police to do a DNA test on the pieces of feces so the dog could be located and the owner punished.

May 10th City of Fox Point
A woman was cited for damage to property after putting a 12-inch scratch on the side a car. The woman told police that she lost her balance as she walked past the car and scratched it by accident. The car belonged to the woman’s ex-husband.

May 16th City of Franklin
Police were called to the Salvation Army Store where they arrested a man for shoplifting a Beavis and Butthead video tape, valued at 49 cents.

May 16th City of Oak Creek
Police and firefighters responded to a fire alarm at Tanglewood Apartments. An officer spoke to a resident who stated his wife accidentally triggered the alarm as she attempted to hit a cockroach that was climbing up the wall near the fire alarm. An officer spoke with the apartment manager who confirmed the apartment building does have cockroaches.

May 14th City of Waukesha
Police received a report of two women and a man having sex in front of a window with the blinds open. When police arrived “sexual relations” were taking place just inside the window. When police tried to contact the people inside, one of the women slammed the door in their face.

May 14th City of Waukesha
A resident called police to report that people who they reported were having sex in their car the day before are now driving past their home and honking their horn and flipping them off.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:31 am Comment On This Post

may 20th 2013

After high life savings on Powerballl tickets, Rick didn't win Saturday's $590 million dollar Powerball drawing. Seriously! How could he not win with 5 sets of  numbers? Worst of all, he was so certain of winning, he already shot the wad and spent of $590 million,.


10. Bought myself a 14 karat gold, jet powered Zamboni.

9. Paid to have the Washington Monument circumcised.

8. Purchased the rights to the TV show The View. Recast it with five angry, brain damaged monkeys. Will wait as long as I have to for someone to notice the change.  

7. Had one of those flying Ironman suits made in a double X. Okay, 3 X.

6. Hired Aaron Rodgers to mow my lawn to supplement his measly 110 million dollar contract.

5. Contracted a team of bounty hunters to locate the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio and force her to turn my inflatable doll into a real girl who will inevitably leave me in two months for some douchebag.

4. Bought Rome’s priceless 400-year-old Trevi Fountain and filled it with Schlitz.

3. Got painful series of Botox injections to get rid of all the unsightly wrinkles in my face and ball sack.

2. Stupidly pledged to donate 11 million to some sketchy charity every time Ricky Week’s strikes out.

1. Filled Soldier Field to the rim with Spaghettios so Bears fans will have a reason to say “Oh-oh” other than when Cutler throws another interception.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:43 am Comment On This Post

may 14th 2013
A new survey revealed 10 things that 90% of Americans can agree on. Such as: 90% believe in God, oppose cloning, and beleive it's wrong for married people to have affairs. But what kind of things can we ALL agree on?


10. That guy who held the three girls in Cleveland, it wouldn’t be so bad if a pitbull used his testicles as a chew toy.

9. No matter how much he denies it, Ryan Seacrest’s picture should be on a $3 bill.

8. We all hope we live long enough to see Justin Bieber have his career crash and burn, lose everything and eventually get arrested for breaking into vending machines for small change.

7. Kim Kardashian is more attractive when she’s not speaking.

6. Would rather party with Charlie Sheen than the late arch bishop Fulton Sheen.  

5. Rum Chata taste like the milk left in the bowl after eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal.

4. Jay Cutler always looks like he would be more at home in a Twilight movie than a football game.

3. The Star Wars prequels sucked harder than a toothless whore.

2. Governor Walker’s eyes are so crossed he has to sit sideways at movie theaters.

1. It would be easier to get your partner to go downtown if our genitals tasted like bacon.

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 13th 2013

May 2nd City of Portage 1:16 AM
Police responded to a report of a man who was incapacitated and lying in a hallway on E. Howard Street. The 41-year-old man, Sean Pendergast, was reportedly intoxicated. Officers took Pendergast to the police department to spend the rest of the night in the lobby. However, in the morning police found that Pendergast allegedly had urinated over handmade baskets that were provided to him and on furniture. The blankets had to be disposed of and the furniture was sanitized. Pendergast was cited with criminal damage to property.

May 2nd City of Portage 12:49 PM
Police received a report of a man who was allegedly intoxicated and urinating in public. When police arrived, they found the man passed out inside a portable toilet. The man, Sean Pendergast, was charged with disorderly conduct.

May 7th City of Portage
Police investigated a report of the man on West Albert Street who allegedly claimed that he was robbed by two people. Responding officers found the story was false and arrested the man, 41-year-old Sean Pendergast, and charged him with obstructing an officer.

May 9th City of Portage
After keeping his nose clean for two days, police responded a report of a man on Conant Street who was allegedly intoxicated and bleeding from a cut on his nose. Police arrested the man, Sean Pendergast on a charge of bail jumping and with being  intoxicated in violation of a court order.

(Prior to last week, Pendergast was no stranger to altercations with the law. Among his previous brushes with police, in November 2010, he was charged with felony battery of a police officer after allegedly kicking a policeman in the head while intoxicated. The assault allegedly occurred a mere six hours after Pendergast had been released from the Columbia County Jail where he had just served over a year. At the time of the arrest Pendergast had a blood alcohol level of .384.)

In other Small Town Crime Wave news....

May 7th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report her neighbor was raking yard waste into her yard and throwing pinecones at her house.

May 8th City of Appleton
A Walden Avenue woman called police to report someone had thrown eggs at her home several times in the past week. A beer bottle was also left on her porch with an egg balanced on it and a note left that read "move bitch before I kill you." A neighbor's surveillance video showed a 62-year-old man committing the acts. When confronted, man initially denied the crimes, then reportedly admitted his guilt to police. He also said he did not know the woman and made the threat against her life because "it just something to do."

May 1st City of Germantown
A resident called 911 to report that her neighbor’s motion-activated yard light shines into her bedroom, making it difficult for her to sleep. The woman was advised to close her drapes and was also warned about misuse of 911.

April 27th City of Oak Creek
A man received minor injuries after he drove his vehicle off the roadway and into a ravine. The man told police he was turning when his pizza slid off the seat and he reached for it, causing him to swerve off the roadway. The man injured his nose in the accident but refused medical attention.

May 2nd City of Waukesha
A woman called 911 to ask why police were at her door earlier. She began shouting and using profanities at the dispatcher indicating that she had been sleeping. When the dispatcher told her that calling 911 for a nonemergency was grounds for a citation she told the dispatcher to write  her a citation and to  “Stick it up my butt!”

May 9th City of Shawano
Police were dispatched to aide a 15-year-old who was babysitting two children who were apparently stuck in the bathroom.

May 7th City of Shawano
Police responded to a report of a vehicle illegally parked in an Amish buggy spot at the Wal-Mart.

May 4th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a report of middle school kids catching fish and throwing them back in the water. They were also heard to be making loud sexual remarks. Police made contact with the students and gave them a warning and their parents were notified.

posted by: Rick and Len at 10:26 am Comment On This Post

may 10th 2013
We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…the person at Valley Transit, the Fox Cities regional bus line, who, according to my reports, decided that their drivers can no longer listen to the radio while on duty because it’s too big of a distraction. That’s right. All day behind the wheel with nothing to listen to but the sound of their voices in their own heads thinking about how much they hate their employer for not letting them listen to the radio. This should end well.


For making their drivers turn off their radios…when making people turn their radios off is something at which WE already excel.

For not caring that if everybody behind the wheel of a moving vehicle had to turn off the radio, we’d have fewer listeners in the morning than the Kardashian family has virgins.

And for trying to prevent any distractions on the bus by outlawing radios, when if they really wanted to eliminate distractions to the drivers they’d eliminate passengers…which from the sight of some of the empty buses I’ve seen around town, they may have already started doing. 

We are proud to name whomever banned drivers on Valley Transit from listening to the radio as this week’s Rick and Len…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:28 am Comment On This Post

may 10th 2013

Here's Rick and Len chating with Leslie Spoon, Erin and Zalaski during the 6pm news.
posted by: Rick and Len at 7:20 am Comment On This Post

may 10th 2013
See Rick and Len doing the 10-o-clock sports on Local 5.

Part 1:

Part 2
posted by: Rick and Len at 4:51 am Comment On This Post

may 7th 2013
May 2nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report finding a suspicious gallon-size zip-lock  bag with a thick, cloudy yellow substance inside laying on the grass near a busy intersection. Investigating officers determined it was a 5 pound bag of macaroni and cheese.

April 15th City of Omro
An Adams Street resident reported a person sitting in a vehicle outside their residence and wanted police to check out the situation. An officer made contact with the subject who said he was “just wasting time” before work listening to the radio.

April 25th City of Greenfield
A resident called police after someone made an inappropriate request in regards to an ad she posted on Craigslist. The resident told police she was selling a pair of pants on Craigslist and a subject replied to the posting and asked her if she would sell him her underwear.

April 25th  City of Greenfield
A caller reported a suspicious male was “lingering” around the park. The caller told police the man, described as a white male about 50 years old went in the Porta Potty near the back end of the park and when he exited he had changed from his work clothes into a white dress. The caller further stated that when the man noticed he was being watched by the caller and her family, he “high-tailed it out of there”. Police checked the area but were unable to locate a man wearing a white dress.

April 25th City of Waukesha
A resident in an apartment called police to report their neighbor is shining microwave frequencies inside their apartment. They said the frequencies travel through their body and are irritating their body.

April 28th City of Waukesha
A woman told police as she was leaving her residence when a man started walking toward her with something in his hand, possibly a meat thermometer and car key. The woman said the man walked up to her residence and said, “I just came to look at your cat” and then left in a blue vehicle.

April 27th City of Franklin
A man reported his neighbor called him a derogatory name and "flipped him the bird". The neighbor admitted to "flipping him the bird" after the other man was "staring him down." Police advised both men to avoid contact with each other.

May 2nd Village of Rudolph
Police received a report of a woman who had gone missing after going outside with the dogs. Responding officers located the woman in her home taking a shower.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 6th 2013
We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week…the pastor of the Wisconsin church who canceled retired Packer Leroy Butler’s speaking appearance on bullying because Leroy refused to delete a Tweet congratulating NBA player Jason Collins on coming out, then apologize for the Tweet and beg for God’s forgiveness. After the story went public and Leroy declined to name the church or the pastor, the pastor reportedly thanked him for keeping it quiet. Gee, way to own it! It’s nice the pastor could have the courage of his convictions.


For courageously standing up for his religious beliefs just as long as nobody finds out who he is.

For apparently thinking the Golden Rule is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…unless you can keep it on  the down low.”

And for not living by the credo of “What would Jesus do?” because, I’m pretty sure what Jesus would do wouldn’t be act like a cowardly douchebag.

We are proud to name the pastor who cancelled Leroy Butler speaking appearance just because he congratulated Jason Collins as this week’s Rick and Len…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:33 am Comment On This Post