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jul 13th 2010
Money magazine has chosen Appleton as one on the 100 best places to live in the U.S.

WHY APPLETON IS ONE OF THE 100 BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN THE US.

10. Downtown just as nice as Fond du Lac with only half as many urine puddles.

9. When the wind blows from the north, the stank from Menasha is almost completely covered by the rotten eggs and monkey ass smell from Kaukauna.

8. If you’re a business owner and have a problem you can contact city officials and the sound of them laughing at you is sure to bring joy to others.

7. Good jobs available for the unskilled and uneducated as long as you’re not too embarrassed to work for the Post Crescent.

6. Home of beautiful public art like the enormous penis-shaped sculpture at the north end of the Skyline bridge which artistically symbolizes that shafting you’re going to get when you pay your property taxes.

5. Conveniently located close enough to Sheboygan that no matter what we do, it’s not going to seem that weird by comparison.

4. Proactive city government instituted legislation designed to cover sidewalks outside bars with cigarette butts 5 years before the rest of the state.

3. Police are less likely than the ones in Green Bay to shoot you in cold blood.

2. With a Christmas parade in November, Octoberfest in September, trick or treating on October 28th and Independence Day fireworks on July 3rd, everyday is a holiday, except the days of the actual holidays.

1. City parking meters collect all change that would otherwise go to panhandling hobos.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 13th 2010
July 6th City of Madison
Police arrested a Racine man after he slammed his SUV into a strip club. Officers say the 50-year-old man was asked to leave the club after vomiting in the VIP area. After that, witnesses told police the man got into his SUV, put it in reverse and slammed into the club's entrance. When police pulled up to the man’s vehicle, an officer asked him how he was doing. He told them, "Not good," but indicated he had "seen some nice strippers". The man then denied driving the SUV and claimed he arrived at the location thanks to help from… "Martians."

June 23rd City of Wauwatosa
A 32-year-old man was arrested for disorderly conduct after he drove his bicycle up to the drive-through window at McDonald's and refused to leave until he got served. The man threatened to slap employees and was holding up about five cars waiting for orders.

June 16th City of Neenah
Police responded to a report of an animal-at-large on Deerfield Avenue and what they are calling an "ongoing defecation problem."

July 3rd Village of Winneconne
Police arrested a father-son texting tag team after they sent threatening and vulgar text messages to the father's ex-wife. The ex-wife showed police several obscene texts she received on her cell phone from a number she recognized as her ex-husband's. She could tell from the wording that they had been dictated to her son, who actually did the texting. Police went to the ex-husband's residence and spoke to the couple's son, who admitted he sent the texts for his father who did not know how to send text messages.

June 14th Town of Menasha
An employee reported that someone stole his lunchbox while he was at work on American Drive. He told police his lunchbox contained some orthopedic products.

June 16th City of Glendale
A 31-year-old man was arrested on a criminal charge of disorderly conduct after he attacked a 16-year-old boy as they both stood in line at McDonald's. The man was behind the boy and said, "Let's cut in front of these kids," and did. The boy told the man that wasn't right and the man grabbed the boy around the neck and hit him in the chest. The man left but was arrested at his home where he was found lying on the floor with 24 empty beer cans scattered around him. The man admitting drinking only "nine pints of beer" and denied hurting the boy but admitted being rude to McDonald's employees.

July 2nd City of Madison
A 50-year-old man told police he was hanging out with two white male teens in James Madison Park when he decided to buy a bottle of brandy to share with his friends. He bought the booze and shortly afterward was robbed of the brandy and his wallet at knife point. A short time later, police apprehended the thief and recovered the stolen brandy. According to police, “The victim became very upset when informed the brandy was evidence and he wouldn't be getting it back immediately. The man reportedly threw a tantrum laying down in the road demanding he get his booze back. The victim was later himself arrested for making false 911 calls that were more failed attempts at retrieving his liquor.

June 27th City of Chilton
Police received a report of a two vehicle accident. A North 9th Street resident reported that a neighbor hit the caller’s remote control nitro-powered car with his silver Mazda. It was explained to him that real vehicles have the right of way. The caller was advised to go to a parking lot and not play on the roadway with his toys.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 9th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Bryce Hinkel who was charged Wednesday in Winnebago County Circuit Court with attempted first-degree intentional homicide and his fourth OWI in five years after he allegedly tried to run down a pedestrian in an apartment complex parking lot on Marathon Avenue in Neenah. When police apprehended Hinkle, he reportedly smelled of intoxicants, had bloodshot eyes and his lips, tongue and teeth were covered in a greenish, blue tint. Hinkel told officers the greenish, blue coloring was from food coloring that he drank because of its alcohol content. He told them he had also been drinking both vodka and a bottle of vanilla extract.

So,

For allegedly attempting homicide while under the influence of baking products.

For finding the most creative way to get drunk since Kitty Dukakis whipped up a rubbing alcohol gimlet.

For dispensing with the old cliché of getting caught red handed in favor of getting caught greenish, blue tongued.

And for getting drunk on vanilla extract and food coloring, leaving him just a cup of flour and a can of frosting shy of being charged with impersonating a Christmas cookie.

We are proud to name Bryce Hinkel as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 9th 2010
John Evans returns to the Rick and Len Show this morning and he is back in black! (You're going to have to watch the video below to see what I mean by that!)

John has been on multiple seasons of NBC's Last Comic Standing (which means he didn't win. But what do they know? He's funny!!!) Call 920-734-JOKE to see John this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. (Plus, after a hot, humid week, wouldn't a big fruity girl drink really hit the spot?)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmLe2eiy1wo
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 8th 2010
Enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 8th 2010

You can help get northeast Wisconsin's Annex into an opening slot at the Kiss concert September 2nd at the Marcus Amphitheatre!
Click here to vote. As of July 8th Annex was in the lead but not by much.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 7th 2010
Green Bay taxpayers could save more than $100,000 on the first phase of building of the Zippin Pippin roller-coaster at Bay Beach. The savings will come from:
a. shrewd bargaining.
b. low labor costs.
c. cost cutting ideas they received from the safety director at BP.

Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt has reportedly lost some of his enthusiasm for the Zippin Pippin roller coaster after he learned:
a. Elvis never actually rode on it.
b. public support has been less than overwhelming.
c. you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.

A priest in Connecticut is accused of embezzling 1.3 million dollars from the church that he allegedly spent on male escorts. This is very unusual since:
a. most priests would never do such a thing.
b. there aren't many male escorts in Connecticut.
c. normally a priest's partner doesn’t get a million dollars from the church until after a court settlement.

Doctors in New York state have helped a boy born with only half a face. The miraculous surgery was done using:
a. skin taken from the boy's legs and chest.
b. flesh-like latex prosthetics.
c. a donation from BP CEO Tony Hayward since that two faced son-of-a-bitch had one to spare.

A porn star has pledged to orally service every one of her Twitter followers if the Netherlands wins the World Cup. Since making the promise, the number of her Twitter followers has jumped from 15,000 to over 100,000. The toughest part of fulfilling her promise is expected to be:
a. spending that much time on her knees.
b. finding a space big enough to accommodate 100,000 horny guys.
c. turning down all the offers of assistance from George Michael.

An Abercrombie and Fitch store in New York City has had to temporarily close down because it's overrun with bed bugs. Store officials have responded by:
a. fumigating.
b. replacing their inventory.
c. changing the name of the store to Abercrombie and Itch.


Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday. The sentence shouldn't be to tough for Lindsay since:
a. she'll probably get paroled in a few hours.
b. she could be allowed to serve it at her home under house arrest.
c. after dating that Samantha chick, she's no stranger to spending 90 days in the hole.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 7th 2010
This is the lingerie model from Paraguay who was going to run naked through the streets of a Paraguayan city if the team advanced in the World Cup. Note the AXE Body Spray logo on her breast. What better sign that your boobs are enormous than you can start selling advertising space on them. They're both a billboard and a cell phone cozy. That's right, her boobs are multi-tasking.



posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 6th 2010

All contest winners on the Rick and Len Show this week (through 7/9) are entered into a drawing for an Old Glory Honor Flight raffle ticket valued at $100. That ticket could win you a 2010 Harley Davidson Street Glide provided by Harley Davidson of Appleton or one of 17 huge cash prizes. Only 500 tickets are being sold. For more info on the raffle and a corresponding poker ride and party, click here.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 6th 2010
June 30th City of Oshkosh
Police received a call at 7:10am from a 41-year-old man on West 10th Avenue who wanted to report a theft. When police arrived at the residence, the extremely intoxicated man told officers that he left a pizza in the residence, but a woman inside would not let him into the house to retrieve it. The man allegedly chest bumped an officer three times and then squared off to fight the officer. The man was arrested and jailed before being released on bond. At 9:56am police were called again after the released man returned to the residence to resume his search for his pizza. He was arrested again, this time for criminal trespass and was transported back to jail.


July 1st City of Shawano
A woman called police to report someone had been putting pine cones in her yard.

July 3rd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man reported seeing a man wearing an orange shirt go underneath the Grand Avenue bridge but not come back up. Officers discovered the "man" was actually...an orange construction barrel.

June 14th City of Chilton
Police received a report of harassment on East Washington Street. Responding officers found it was an ongoing issue of one friend stealing another friend's "beer shirt" and then not giving it back. The responding officer returned the shirt to the rightful owner.

June 16th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Marquette Avenue residence where a couple hit each other with a metal pan over an argument stemming from a man having trouble placing a fan in a bedroom window.

June 30th City of Beaver Dam
A woman on East Third Street called police and reported there were baby rabbits in her yard. The caller said there was no sign of a mother rabbit around and wanted police to do something about it.

July 2nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
An officer responded to two anonymous reports of a chicken running loose on Lincoln Street. The responding officer was unable to locate the loose-running chicken.

June 24th Village of Bayside
Police responded to a call from a resident on North Bayside Drive where their black lab was being attacked by a coyote. The coyote was chased off before police arrived by an angry dachshund.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 6th 2010
The city of Bemidji, Minnesota has erected a bunch of 4-foot tall "Beaver" sculptures, which were painted in a variety of bright colors by some local artists. However, one of the artists has been accused of painting a woman's private parts on the belly of one of the beavers. Says the woman, "I understand people see different things in art, and they need to be free to do that. My intent was to paint a praying woman."

So, what do you see? A woman praying or...something else?
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 2nd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Mike Baumgartner of Madison who this week was busted for watching porn...while touching himself...at a McDonald's...in the play area. Baumgartner was reportedly typing with one hand and fondling himself with the other while watching pornographic images on his laptop with 15 to 20 children playing nearby. Baumgartner told the arresting officer he had just "exercised poor judgment".

So,

For not understanding that just because he's in the play area of a McDonald's doesn't mean he gets to stick his hand in his ball pit.

For not realizing that being in a McDonald's doesn't automatically mean you can touch your McNuggets.

for not just exercising poor judgment, but rather, the worst judgment anyone has exercised since Kurt Cobain said "I do".

And for punching the clown at McDonald's...and we don't mean Ronald.

We are proud to name Mike Baumgartner of Madison as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st 2010
If I had a nickle for every time someone has said to me, "You know, that Mike Merryfield is one funny motherf#$%ker", I would be well on my way to a quarter. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I swear, nobody has ever said that to me about any of the other 400+ comics we've had on the Rick and Len Show over the years. So, he must be one funny mother#$%ker.

Tonight is WAPL night at Skyline Comedy Cafe which means you get 2 for 1 admission for this funny mofo. Or pay full price to see him on Friday or Saturday. He is, after all, full price funny! (Plus, he has an adorable little son, and if you don't go to Skyline this week, she won't eat! It's not that he needs the money for food. He just doesn't like to cook unless his little comedy show sells out! What an a-hole! But it's up to you. But I beg you, don't let her starve!)

Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE.



http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/DrunkenHumping
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 1st 2010
Maggots falling from a spoiled container of meat in someone's luggage forced a US Airways flight departing Atlanta to return to the gate Monday. The maggots were dropping on to passengers from the overhead compartment. Why would somebody be traveling with rotten meat? There must be a good explanation. Maybe ten good explanations!

REASONS FOR TRAVELING WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF ROTTEN MEAT.

10. The overpowering stench covers of the smell of alcohol on the pilot’s breath.

9. Inspiration for new movie about Samuel L. Jackson trying to get these mother frickin' maggots off this mother frickin' plane.

8. Meat was in a pair of pants left behind by the bag’s previous owner, Green Bay alderman Guy Zima.

7. No matter how rotten, stinky and maggot-filled the meat may be, it's still more appetizing than your in-flight meal.

6. Easier to keep track of your luggage if you can always smell where it is.

5. Dogs too busy gagging and vomiting to sniff your bag for drugs.

4. Since you can't travel with toothpaste or mouthwash, best not to travel with food that is edible.

3. Rolling it up to swat crawling maggots, only suitable use for otherwise worthless complimentary in-flight magazine.

2. Watching crawling maggots drop from the overhead compartment more interesting that watching another in-flight movie staring Kate Hudson.

1. Simple misunderstanding. Passenger thought carry-on was spelled "c-a-r-r-i-o-n".
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post