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aug 29th 2016


August 20th City of Greenfield
Police were called to a home where a resident reported having a fight with his mother over a frozen pizza. Police discovered the caller and his elderly mother were arguing about who purchased the Tony’s Frozen Supreme pizza she just made. Police spoke with both residents and the mother agreed to go out and buy another Tony’s Supreme pizza for her son.

August 17th City of Waukesha
Officers were dispatched to a home in response to a call from a woman, who said her neighbor's spirit "crawled through her window to throw an evil mind thought at her." According to the police report, officers told the woman that she could better prevent "evil spirits" from entering her home by reinforcing her windows.

August 16th City of Antigo
Police were called to the scene where a woman was yelling obscenities at a girl bouncing on a trampoline.

August 8th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A caller reported a man came out of the woods, sat on a swing at Sandlot Park and began hitting himself.

August 14th City of Brown Deer
Police were called to a home by a resident who reported seeing a naked man in his backyard taking photographs of his plants.

August 24th Village of Nekoosa
Police were called to the scene where a woman who did not want neighborhood children riding their bikes on her property was threatening to rip their tongues out.

August 15th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of a man who was walking in and out of traffic. An officer spoke to the man who stated he was just walking that way to keep his pants up, which he said he fell down anytime he walked in a straight line.

August 19th City of Waukesha
Police were called a residence where a man allegedly broke his grandmother's stove top and television. The man it's already facing charges for an incident last fall when he was accused of stealing three vehicles, causing thousands of dollars in property damage and leading police on an hours-long manhunt. At that time, the man told police he did it because he thought he was God and was playing Grand Theft Auto.

July 26th City of Greenfield
Police were called to McDonald's where a woman who was apparently upset because her sandwich was made incorrectly, responded by yelling obscenities at the employees and knocking all the cookies on the floor.

August 18th City of Antigo
Officers responded to a report of a used feminine hygiene product and a quarter left on a car's windshield. Police say there have no suspects at this time.

August 13th City of Glendale
Police were called to Pick 'n' Save where a 23-year-old woman became upset when a store employee asked her to stop smoking her cigar right outside the store entrance. The woman responded by yelling at the store employee and then went to the deli department where she began screaming.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:26 am Comment On This Post

aug 26th 2016


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…Dakota D.S. Piper, of Menasha who this week was sentenced to four years in prison and five years of extended supervision. Piper was arrested on drug related charges last November but then allegedly compounded his legal problems by trying to escape.

Piper’s escape plot reportedly involved faking a seizure at the Winnebago County jail so he was taken to a local hospital where he intentionally pooped and peed himself and then, when in the restroom cleaning himself, climbed up into the ceiling tiles and tried crawling through the hanging ceiling, which, of course only works in movies.

In the process, Piper broke many ceiling tiles and metal support beams that hold the tiles in place. He eventually agreed to come down but only if police brought his girlfriend to him so he could give her "a hug and a kiss and possibly have a cigarette". A lieutenant then reportedly called Piper's girlfriend and put her on speakerphone. When the girlfriend asked Piper what he was doing, he replied "trying to escape."

So,

For coming up with a plan about as half baked as the Pillsbury Doughboy's ass after an hour in the sun.

For wanting a "hug and a kiss" from his girlfriend when he'll have ample of time to get plenty of that from his cellmate.

For not realizing that if a great escape involves peeing and pooping yourself...I'm Steve McQueen!

We are proud to name Dakota D.S. Piper as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 9:56 am Comment On This Post

aug 24th 2016


A new study showed that the radio is the 2nd most comforting sound for Americans, right behind birds chirping. WAPL may be a lot of things, but we never before thought of it as "comforting" until now. Here's the...

MOST COMFORTING THINGS ABOUT LISTENING TO WAPL

10. Hearing Ross Maxwell shout at and deride people makes you realize your mother-in-law could actually be worse.

9. Every time John on the Road Show talks about something he "saw", you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that if he hasn't gone blind yet, what your mother told you about doing that thing couldn't possibly be true.

8. You don’t get worked up by talk of the Zika virus knowing that no mosquito could be as dangerous as the bug that is safely and permanently contained up Len’s ass.

7. You can rest assured you never have to worry about embarrassing yourself by not knowing the correct pronunciation of “plantar fasciitis”.

6. Listening to Roxanne’s voice helps you relax knowing you’re saving $3.99 a minute not counting the slight uptick it causes in your Kleenex budget.

5. You can feel reassured knowing that if you ever run afoul of the mob, the FBI will find a new identity and safe place for you just like they did for Tim “the hit man” Hart, or as he used to be known, Vinnie “the hit man” Gamberino, formerly of Teaneck, New Jersey.

4. Only a mad man would not feel comforted by hearing “Wooo” 20 or 30 times a day.

3. If you are a parent of a teen that you’re convinced never will amount to anything, the Road Show is comforting proof they could still find a job that doesn’t involve cleaning up poop or washing some rich guy’s balls.

2. You take comfort in knowing your virility isn't in question because for some reason, every time you hear Elwood on the New Male Medical ad you get the weirdest boner.

1. Whenever you hear Rick’s voice broadcasting from the WAPL studio you can rest assured he’s at leady not hanging around outside your kid’s elementary school or playground.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:33 am Comment On This Post

aug 23rd 2016


August 2nd City of Neenah
A North Park Avenue caller informed police that a large group of people were trespassing in her yard playing Pokémon Go. The caller told the dispatcher that she had turned her sprinkler on to get them off her property.

August 5th City of Brookfield
A resident reported that sometime before 4am on August 5th someone came into her yard and cut the cord on her Christmas lights.

August 9th City of Oak Creek
Police went to Kohl’s in response to a report of a white male in his 50s wearing sunglasses, white shorts, no shirt, and a blue baseball cap who was hiding in the bushes behind the store and clucking like a chicken.

August 7th Dane County
Police were called to a sports bar where witnesses say a man who was shooting pool had been loudly yelling Donald Trump's name as he voiced support for the candidate. Another man responded by also uttering Trump's name, but according to the police report, he used a word that "rhymes with truck" in front of the candidates name. This caused the first man to lift his Hawaiian shirt, exposing a handgun that was tucked in the waistband of his khaki shorts.

August 15th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to Fountain Park where a woman who had been sitting in the middle of the road in her pajamas was now bathing in the fountain.

August 4th City of Menasha
Officers responded to a report of a male and female physically fighting in a parking lot on Midway Road. Upon arrival, officers spoke to the parties who denied having a physical fight, but confirmed they were arguing over Papa Murphy's being closed.

August 12th City of Sheboygan
Police told a woman who was allegedly causing a disturbance at McDonald's to leave and she would be cited or arrested if she returned. The woman told police she doesn't think it works that way.

July 19th City of Greenfield
A man walked into an auto repair shop, stood very close to the register and wouldn’t speak to employees, then screamed “cigarettes!” and walked out. Police found the man sitting across the street waiting for a bus. The man did not speak English, and did not have an explanation for yelling "cigarettes!".

August 9th Village of Germantown
Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot for a report that two males and two females were crawling around in front of patrons’ vehicles and harassing them about praying. Police located the praying suspects and they agreed to leave the parking lot and pray someplace else.

August 17th City of Madison
An officer on foot spotted an SUV being driven fast on State Street where regular traffic is not allowed. The officer jumped into her squad and pulled the driver over. According to police, when instructed to get out of the car, the 42-year-old female driver instead just cracked open a fresh can of beer and began drinking.

August 6th City of Chilton
Police were called to break up a disturbance involving two occupants at a nursing home physically fighting in wheelchairs. Police gave both occupants a lecture bout respecting each other as they live in such a confined space.

July 27th City of Greenfield
Police responded to a bar after an employee reported a woman struck another woman in the head with a martini glass. The women allegedly started arguing after one of them yelled at the other’s child for touching the shuffleboard table while they were using it.

August 5th City of Marshfield
Officers responding to the scene of a domestic disturbance determined a woman had become upset when her boyfriend accidentally called her by his ex-girlfriend's name. The man was trying to calm the woman down and, during the "conversation", the residence's door was broken. Police took the man to a different location to spend the night.

August 7th City of Sheboygan
Police were called to assist after a man on 20th Street who needed his colostomy bag changed became combative.

August 6th City of Sheboygan
Police were dispatched to the old Brat Days parade route to inform people waiting for the Brat Days parade that it would not be coming their way and if they wanted to see the Brat Days parade they should move to the new Brat Days parade route.

August 7th City of Neenah
A caller told police that for the last day a gas can has been sitting next to the stop sign at the intersection of Third Street and East Forest Avenue. An investigation by police revealed that the gas can was empty, and that the owner had put it out by the curb for free for whomever wanted it. The officer suggested attaching a sign that read "free gas can".

August 15th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report her 92-year-old mother's neighbor walks around her property with a baseball bat and asks people if they keep their money in a cookie jar.

August 8th City of Waukesha
Police were called to a city park where a man was upsetting other park goers by repeatedly screaming at them that he was "fishing for snapping turtles".
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:07 pm Comment On This Post

aug 22nd 2016
Listening to stories of Len's big family vacation has caused my mind to flood with memories of a similar trip my family took when I was a child. Here's the account of that trip I wrote for a publication several years ago. -Rick-



THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

It was the summer of my seventh year. The previous September many of my classmates had returned to school with stories of their Griswald-ian sojourns in faux wood-paneled station wagons to exciting and faraway places. The Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, the home of an uncle in Santa Fe who would give shiny quarters to nephews that let him do magic tricks inside their underpants!

Emboldened by my friends’ travel tales, I asked mom and dad to take me on vacation. When asking didn’t work, I pleaded, I cajoled, I begged with the tenacity and desperation usually only seen from Tommy Thompson trying to get one more Jameson on-the-rocks after last-call. Finally, they caved.

So it was in August of 1966, mom, dad, and I left idyllic Menasha, Wisconsin and set off in search of America.

Our trek did not take us to historic Route 66, bisecting this great nation from Missouri to the Pacific Ocean. Nor did our excursion lead us to California’s scenic Highway 1, with its hairpin turns and breathtaking vistas. No, our journey took place on the equally historic and no less scenic Highway 47!

Leaving the city of Menasha, we soon rolled through, well, the Town of Menasha. I marveled at the passing scenery. The old Goodwill Store, the putt-putt golf course, Valley Fair Mall. When PBS Travel guru Rick Steves says, “Travel is intensified living” this is clearly what he’s talking about.

Before I knew it, Highway 47 turned into the tree-lined boulevard that is Memorial Drive and I swelled with excitement as we passed over the magnificent span of the Memorial Drive Bridge. On that hot, humid day in the pre-environmentally friendly ‘60’s, I was awed by the sight of the many smoke belching factories in Appleton’s industrial “flats” and inhaled the fragrant bouquet of the Fox River, a smell that would not have been unfamiliar to a third-world gynecologist.

Having traversed the Fox, we headed for College Avenue where we turned left, over the viaduct into Grand Chute and on to The Strip, baby! There, we pulled into our final destination--Biggar’s Best Western Motel.

Grand Chute in 1966 was not nearly the exotic vacation paradise that it is today. Yet, Biggars’ Best Western was a swanky place. Among its amenities were “powder rooms”, “combination tub and showers” and “telephones...IN THE ROOM”. If Louie the XIV had lived in the 1960’s, this would have been his Versailles.

For the next eight days, we would live among the Grand Chute residents. Observe their customs. Eat their local delicacies. And participate in their indigenous activities.

Most of my days were spent swimming in Biggars’ indoor, heated pool until I was so wrinkled I looked like I could be Larry King's ball sack. After swimming, it was on to the “41 Bowl” where my ball spent more time in the gutter than Nick Nolte on a four day bender.

After all that fun I was hungry enough to eat a horse, which given the dubious taste of the meat in some of the restaurants we patronized, was more than a little ironic.

However, we ate most of our meals at the Marcs’ Big Boy, conveniently located right next door. It was at the Big Boy that I came to realize just how different the exotic cuisine of Grand Chute was from the food I was used to eating back home.

I ordered a “Big Boy Burger” thinking it would be just a regular hamburger. Oh, how wrong I was. When the waitress delivered it to our table, I could scarcely believe my eyes. It was not just a patty between two halves of a bun. It was TWO patties and the bun had not only a top and bottom but a MIDDLE as well. Most confusing of all, the pickles and tomato slice were not inside, but rather, perched atop the bun like a colorful party hat and held in place with a decorative toothpick. It all made Menasha seem so very far away.

Between the swimming, bowling, gourmet dining and occasional forays across The Strip to Treasure Island (not the casino, the discount department store with the “squiggly” roof and crappy merchandise) the eight days flew by and soon I was heading home.

I returned to Menasha a changed seven year old. I was imbued with a deeper understanding of the diversity of the human experience and filled with a full-blown desire to see even more of the world. This year Grand Chute. Next year, who knows? Maybe Ashwaubenon! After that first trip, the world was my oyster and anything seemed possible!

(The next year we did, in fact, vacation in Ashwaubenon.)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:19 pm Comment On This Post

aug 5th 2016


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…. whomever went to mad lengths at a local yacht manufacturer to prevent their listeners from listening to the Rick and Len Show. Back in March, we told you about how after a complaint from an employee, the yacht manufacturer not only banned the Rick and Len Show from their work place, they placed the following announcement in their newsletter, “Notice: The radio station, WAPL will no longer be played in the morning between 6 and 10am when Rick and Len are on due to offensive and inappropriate commentary”. 

Well, this week, we got word that the company took it a step further. After somebody had the audacity of switching the radio station to WAPL BEFORE 10 one recent morning, the company got serious and procured a “lock box” they could use the keep their radio securely locked away until 10am each day to prevent that from ever happening again.

So,

For punishing the innocent radio when, clearly, it’s our lips that need to be locked up tighter than a nun’s love tunnel. And for not heeding the words of Mel Gibson who famously said..."You can take our lives radios, but you can never take our freedom!"

For not realizing that you don't need to lock up a radio to stop your employees from listening to the Rick and Len Show. All you need to do, is let them tune in and eventually they'll gouge their ear drums out on their own.

  We are proud to the name whomever put the radio under lock and key at a local yacht manufactures to keep their workers from listening to US as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick and Len at 11:34 am Comment On This Post

aug 3rd 2016


If you've not yet attended Mile of Music in Appleton and wonder why music lovers you know find it to be such a wonderful and special experience, here's some observations I jotted down the day after last year's Mile. -Rick-


Those who still haven't attended MoM probably don't get what the fuss is. "It's just a bunch of bands", I've heard some say. But it really is much more than that. I remember reading an interview 20 some years ago in Rolling Stone magazine with singer-songwriter Lucinda Williams. They asked her what her favorite city was, and she said "New Orleans. Because the streets are f**king electric".

For four days, during MoM, the streets of Appleton become f**king electric! From the second I arrived on the Spatio at Spatz early Thursday afternoon, I could feel the pulse and hum of something special in the air. You could almost hear the electricity pop and crackle around you. It was the same at MoM's 1 & 2. Where does it come from? I have my guesses.

I think it comes in part from most of the shows being free. There is a giddy sense of anticipation that comes with knowing you are going see a band with whom you're completely unfamiliar and may walk out with a new favorite. Because the shows are free, there is no financial risk to keep you from taking a chance on an act you've never heard of, described in the MoM schedule as "freak folk", or "groung" only to learn that you are apparently a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" What's more, if it turns out you're NOT a fan of "freak folk", or "groung" there is nothing to complain about because IT DIDN’T COST YOU ANYTHING. MoM gives you freedom to experiment and explore.

The electric vibe is also generated by so many people coming together, from ages 8 to 80, while sharing in an artistic experience and realizing that no matter how different we may be, we are meeting on common ground. Every day, we all find ourselves in situations where we are standing around awkwardly with people we don't know. But suddenly, at MoM, we find ourselves standing next to strangers with a shared experience we not only WANT to talk about, WE CAN'T HELP BUT TALK ABOUT. "Wasn't Alanna Royale wonderful?" "How were Nobel Theifs". "Did you see The Diamond Light? Were they great?" "What were Ghost Wolves like?" "Is Walt Hamburger really just as dreamy in person?"

In an increasingly polarized world, MoM remains a place where others are actually interested in hearing our opinions and, even more amazingly, we are interested in hearing theirs. The notion that music brings us together isn't exactly new, but it's not every day you see it happen so beautifully and forcefully right before your eyes as you do virtually every minute at MoM.

And finally, the electricity comes from so many hard-working, talented musicians reaching a large and very, very appreciative new audience with their own tunes. The vast majority of musicians at Mile of Music are in their 20s and 30s and while quite accomplished, are still finding their way. The positive reinforcement that they receive from the throngs of people at MoM, FOR PLAYING THEIR OWN, ORIGINAL MUSIC is for them a soothing tonic to any night they spent playing covers for small groups of yammering, drunken stooges who would be happier listening to the latest over-produced pop pablum.

What's more, while together at MoM, these musicians have 4 days to get to know each other, to make new friends, to see each other perform, and to let their musical ideas cross-pollinate in ways that can take them to new places and to even greater heights as artists. Bands from Austin can get new ideas from bands from Nashville. Musicians from Indiana can be inspired by musicians from Canada. Songwriters from California can glean new ideas from songwriters from Ohio. And our ever-growing contingent of AMAZING local talent can see what the rest of the world is doing and show the rest of the world what we are doing here.

So ground yourself. Just one day until the electricity returns!
posted by: Rick and Len at 4:57 am Comment On This Post

aug 2nd 2016


REASONS WHY AN EVIL CLOWN IS WANDERING AROUND GREEN BAY

10. Just swapping make-up tips with Tom Zalaski.

9. Seeing as it’s been 8 months since the Packer-Bear debacle at Lambeau, figured local residents could use a fresh dose of nightmare fuel.

8. He’s trying to prove there actually is something in the world scarier than Mayor Schmitt’s eyebrows.

7. Demonstrating to local residents that not all evil clowns have orange hair and tiny hands.

6. If this summer’s malfunction didn’t make the Zippin Pippin seem even scarier, try riding it while sitting next to an embittered cast-off from season 6 of American Horror Story.

5. Heading over to Seroogy's for quality candy to stock his windowless panel van.

4. Needs to fill his balloons and knows there's no better source of hot air than Guy Zima.

3. In town to attend funeral of 43 other clowns killed in a recent one-car accident.

2. Staring in a Let Me Be Frank Productions musical version of Stephen King's It.

1. He’s probably doing the same thing most evil clowns do in Green Bay, running for city council.
posted by: Rick and Len at 10:17 am Comment On This Post