November 5th City of Waukesha
Three girls between the ages of 12 and 15 found a cigarette lighter on a sidewalk outside the public library. A caller reported the girls had used the lighter to light a Cheeto on fire and were attempting to smoke it.
October 30th Village of Oregon
A 17-year-old girl was charged with disorderly conduct after an 18-year-old coworker reported the girl took a picture of her while she was working and posted it on Snapchat with a caption that read "chlamydia infested whore".
November 12th Dane County
Police responded to a report of a female deer with a broken leg laying on the side of the road and two bucks attempting to have sex with her. When officers arrived and sounded their siren, they spooked the smaller of the two bucks and he ran off but the larger, ten pointer was unswayed. According to the police report, the officer, fearing the buck could soon end up in traffic, and knowing the doe must be put out of her misery, decided it was time to go "mano a mano," or in this case "mano a bucko." As he recounted the tenseness of the moment, the officer said it felt a little like an old western: the sheriff and the outlaw staring each other down. The buck stomped. The officer stomped. The officer raised his arms to simulate a big rack, and he charged, yelling at the buck. The buck stood his ground, steam now coming from his nostrils. About this time, a second officer showed up, and the first instructed the second to do an end around and come at the buck from a different direction, "hooting and hollering". The second officer obliged, and the two officer's combined ruckus did the trick. The buck ran off, and the first officer humanely dispatched the doe. After the doe was dead, the large buck returned and again tried to have sex with her and again had to be scared back into the woods with more hooting and hollering.
November 11th Shawano county
A caller reported hearing what sounded like somebody kicking or stomping on the ground. They requested an officer drive-by with their window rolled it down to see if they heard the same thing.
November 9th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A resident called police to report someone had stolen their pizza cutter.
November 4th City of Waukesha
An intoxicated man, who claimed he is from Gotham, called police saying he was assaulted at a bowling alley. The responding officer found that the assault consisted of another patron throwing a bar coaster at the caller, resulting in no injuries.
November 3rd City of Greenfield
Police responded to a report of two intoxicated people harassing and swearing at the bartender and manager at Applebee's because they weren't allowed to order food off the children's menu.
November 9th Dane County
Staff members from a downtown bar were able to corral a drunken man who was wielding a fire extinguisher. Witnesses told police he had used the fire extinguisher to break a window at the bar. When arrested, the man was reportedly yelling and screaming unintelligible things and then in the back of a squad car, the man loudly proclaimed to be "Spartacus."
November 7th City of Greenfield
A resident reported a neighbor was outside banging on pots and pans for about an hour. Police made contact with the woman, who stated she was upset because she believed her neighbors had stolen her pots and pans.
November 3rd City of Mequon
Police were called to a business where an employee, unhappy about being fired, responded by ripping a cabinet off-the-wall, throwing things around the office, and going outside and urinating on the side of the building.
September 13th City of Verona
Police responded to an emergency call to aid a 13-year-old stuck in a baby swing.
November 15th City of Madison
Police responded to a report of an injured pedestrian. When they arrived on the scene, they found a 22-year-old Nebraska man suffering from facial injuries. According to witnesses, the man intentionally ran into traffic in an attempt to jump over a moving taxi cab and failed in his attempt, sustaining the facial injuries in the process. After police cited him for "Sudden Pedestrian Movement", the man gave the officers an expletive laden statement in which he said he "hopes the Huskers defeat the Badgers" and that he promises to "never try and jump over a moving car again".