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feb 10th 2010

SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ON THE COVER OF THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT ISSUE.

If your face has more moles than a poorly maintained golf course...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If on any given day, the Golden Coral has less cottage cheese on its salad bar than you have on your thighs...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If the pores in your face are so big people think you've been hunting with Dick Cheney...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If your look has ever been refereed to as Vigoda-esque...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If your nose is more crooked than Larry McCarren's fingers...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If you’re body is more bloated than the Congressional Health Care Package...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

If two cats fighting in a sack are suing your ass for trademark infringement...you're probably not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

And if your face is more wrinkles than the late Bea Arthur's ball sack...you're definitely not going to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!


posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 10th 2010

The need for assistance on the Cheyenne River Reservation grows each day as the temperature continues to drop well below freezing. After suffering devastating ice-related storms over the weekend of January 22, 2010, electricity and water have been non-existent or scarce. Over 2,500 utility poles are currently on the ground in this remote, rural area. Power has been out in several communities and for thousands of residents for several days. Below zero temperatures and no electricity, heat, water or gasoline has created devastating results.
Click here for info on how you can help.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 10th 2010



Rock out this Saturday at Tanner's with Boogie and the Yo Yo's and McGinnis! The event is a benefit for the Friends of Autism. $10 tickets include dinner and a raffle entry. $5 tickets get you into the show. WAPL's Len Nelson will be the emcee. Click here for details.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 5th 2010


Click here to check out a cool website that lets you fill-in your own caption for a Batman and Robin comic.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 5th 2010

Looking to combine the fun of watching Super Bowl commercials with the live-on-the razor's edge, life or death thrills of playing bingo? Click here to generate your own Super Bowl commercial bingo cards!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 4th 2010
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 3rd 2010
Here's a few images from my trip to New Orleans last week.

This is not the sign you want to see when checking into your hotel...



Actually, that was a sign I encountered at the Audubon Insectarium. They have over 300,000 bugs and a pretty good sense of humor as evidenced by the beautiful tile work in the men's room shown here...



In case you were wondering, yes, those are dung beetles! On the bathroom walls. Perfect! Speaking of dung, here's another sign, I saw around town a lot on my first couple days in The Big Easy...



On the back of this poster was a paraphrased quote from Pulp Fiction. "And you will know we are the Saints when we lay our vengeance upon thee." I'm not sure who the Saints were avenging by slaying Favre in the NFC Championship game, but if it was Packer fans, I guess we owe them some thanks.

Saw this next sign in Jackson Square...



Just a tip, here. If you want prospective customers to believe you are an all knowing psychic, perhaps knowing how to spell psychic would help!

And finally, I saw this poster taped to the back of a street sign in the French Quarter...



'Nuff said.

-Rick-
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 3rd 2010

"The thong is dead"
Cosmopolitan magazine reports.
Fallen victim to the less revealing,
lingerie called "boy shorts".

Since the 1980's, the thong,
with it's dainty French cut,
has been exciting millions of men…
and flossing even more butts.

The g-string, the t-back,
call it what you will.
The thong first found popularity
On the beaches of Brazil.

And from South America
the thong started creeping-up further north.
Which is, if nothing else,
an appropriate metaphor.

But comfort was never the reason
for a woman to wear one of those things.
That are nothing more than a couple small pieces of cloth
attached to a coarse, irritating string.

Its simple design gave many a wearer a rash
on her womanhood.
While giving even more men
a really bad case of wood.

Now, after 2 decades of proving
that less can be more.
The thong is going the way of bloomers and spats,
parachute pants and peignoirs.

So, now we bid farewell to the thong.
They'll soon be in short supply.
So, if you are a butt man,the time has come
to kiss your ass goodbye!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 3rd 2010
Here's the new Hyundai ad scheduled to air during the Super Bowl showing Brett accepting the MVP trophy...in 2020.

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 2nd 2010
Check out this vignette for the upcoming Marc Golde's Show of Shows variety extravaganza at Waverly Beach March 27th and 28th. Nelson and McNeal will be part of it with on on-stage version of a Rick and Len Show classic feature! The video was recorded on top of a downtown Appleton parking ramp.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 1st 2010
January 17th City of Chilton
A man called police from a bar and asked officers to give him a ride home. The caller was advised that officers are not a taxi service.

January 16th City of Neenah
Police arrested a 21-year-old Mackville man and a 20-year-old Neenah man for stealing items from cars on East Columbian Avenue. Items recovered from the suspects included headphones, darts, gum, Tootsie Pops and skin moisturizer.

January 16th City of Neenah
Police arrested a 19-year-old man for breaking into an unoccupied home on Cleveland Street and stealing a bag of trash and address labels. A neighbor spotted the man leaving the home. Police found the bag containing the trash and address labels hidden in the basement of the suspect's house. He denied any involvement and said someone planted the garbage in his basement as evidence.

January 7th City of Neenah
A resident of East Forest Avenue called police to report that she heard moving and mumbling and thought someone was in her house. She locked herself in the master bedroom and activated the security alarm. Police determined the woman had heard men outside doing snow removal.

January 6th City of Menasha
A woman came to the police station to report that on New Year's Eve, her son was forced to smoke marijuana.

January 27th City of Fond du Lac
A 30-year-old woman was cited for keeping a pig named Peanut in her apartment. Police responded after receiving a report from the woman’s probation officer who had stopped in at her Third Street apartment and found the pig living there with her. Responding officers noted that the apartment “smelled like a barn”.

January 24th Village of Winneconne
Police received a 911 call from the 20-year-old son of a Maple Street resident. The son said his father had been at the residence of a friend watching the Saints-Vikings game earlier in the evening. After he arrived home, he argued with the friend on the phone. Later, the friend walked in the house, yelled "Vikings suck!" and began hitting the older man. The father told police the friend who beat him acts like an idiot every time he watches football games.

January 19th City of Oshkosh
A 14-year-old boy was cited for retail theft after he took a porn magazine from a business on Planeview Drive. The boy's brother turned him in to police.

January 30th City of Ripon
A man called police to report a photo he took of Jesus when he appeared on the wall of his house has been stolen. The man told police the negative of the photo was stored in a coffee can on his bed headboard. The man said the negative shows Jesus on the wall of his house. The man said he thinks someone stole the negative to sell the print online or to the tabloids.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 1st 2010
January 23rd City of Neenah
Police arrested a 22-year-old Neenah man for resisting arrest after he tried to run from an officer. The officer approached the man and two others after seeing one of them urinating behind the Statue of Liberty.

January 17th City of Menasha
A man living on 5th Street reported that someone dumped slices of cheese and maple syrup on his daughter's car. Police advised the man to wash the car as soon as possible.

January 24th City of Neenah
Police cited an intoxicated Menomonie man for disorderly conduct after he threatened to kill a hotel manager who attempted to calm him down while he was in town to coach his son's fifth-grade basketball team.

January 31st City of Marshfield
A 19-year-old Marshfield man was cited for discharging a firearm and criminal damage after he allegedly shot out a car window with a BB gun. The man said he was just playing paintball with a friend but they ran out of paintball ammo so they switched to using BB guns.

February 1st City of Tomahawk
Emergency Medical Services and Tomahawk Police officers were called to a North Sixth Street residence to assist a 46-year-old woman who had her head stuck under a seat in her van for four hours.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

feb 1st 2010

Join Len Nelson and 105-7 WAPL at a concert event featuring Fox Valley favorites Boogie & the Yo Yoz and McGinnis Friday, Feb. 13 at Tanner's in Kimberly.
Buy a $10 ticket and you get admission, dinner and a raffle entry. Admission at the door without dinner is just $5.
All proceeds go to help find answers to the problem of autism and to help patients and their families cope with it.
Click here for more info.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 29th 2010

Check out the tremendously funny Michael Loftus at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton!
Click here for an example of his act.
Make reservations here.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 29th 2010
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 26th 2010

Madonna wants to have another natural-born baby. She's 51. In Great Britain they're allowing a 59-year-old woman to undergo in-vitro fertilization. Is this a good idea? We don't think so. Here are some signs that YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO BE GIVING BIRTH!

*If your newborn has to learn how to change your diaper before you learn how to change his...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If the only thing you have in comon with your newborn is the inability to chew solid food...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you can't breastfeed your baby because your milk is about a quarter-century past its expiration date...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you can breastfeed your baby because you're afraid you might bump him in the head with your knee...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If your obstetrician opts for cesarean birth so your baby doesn't have to fight its way through cobwebs just to get out...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If chances are pretty good that your hip will break before your water does...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you eve find yourself confusing a diaper bag with your colostomy bag...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you're hoping the baby is a boy just so you can name him "Matlock"...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*And if instead of crying, your baby comes out sneezing from all the dust...you're definitely too old to be giving birth!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 25th 2010
January 2nd City of Neenah
A 19-year-old Neenah man reported that someone dumped spaghetti sauce, maple syrup, oatmeal and onions onto his car during the night. Police traced the containers, which were left behind, to the Neenah Wal-Mart, and the store used the UPC codes on the containers to pinpoint the purchases earlier in the night. The store will review surveillance videos to help police identify the suspect or suspects.

January 9th City of Muskego
Police were called to a Hidden Creek Court residence where a wife who was upset that her husband was receiving text messages from another woman attacked him with a vacuum cleaner attachment.

January 16th City of Portage
Officers responded to a report of two boys vandalizing carts at the Wal-mart. The boys, ages 14 and 16, both of Plainfield, Ill., reportedly told police that they making their own fun because it was boring in Wisconsin.

January 12th City of New Berlin
Police responded to a man falling off of a ladder at the Citgo while attempting to clear snow off of a satellite dish on the roof of the station so that he could buy a lottery ticket. The snow had disabled the signal for the ticket machine, so the man retrieved a ladder from his own residence and returned to clear it. He fell from the ladder and was bleeding from the nose when officers arrived. Police smelled alcohol on the man and arrested him for drunken driving.

January 14th Village of Bellevue
A man called police to report that while visiting someone’s home , he saw what he believed to be marijuana on their living room table.

January 9th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Pine Street residence where an 18-year-old woman bit the finger of a 64-year-old woman who pulled her hair during a dispute. The 64-year-old was taken into custody.

January 11th City of Brookfield
Police received a report of drunken tobogganing on the sledding hill in Village Park.

January 14th City of Portage
Police responded to a call from Walgreen’s where store personnel apprehended a juvenile in the act of attempting to steal a bag of Wonka Nerds.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 25th 2010


Here's our Top Ten Reasons for Brett Favre to finally retire...again.

10) So he can unretire and then skip most of training camp before joining team president Mike Holmgren's Cleveland Browns.

9) Did you see that roll out and then throw all the way back across the field into traffic pass for an interception at crunch time he threw last night? There's your reason to retire right there.

8) So he can devote more energy to his secondary career as a commercial spokesman...for mobility scooters.

7) So he can spend more time with his family. That may not be true, but that's what everybody who retires says.

6) So he can pull a weekend shift at Favre's Steakhouse once in a while. Good help is hard to find.

5) So he can watch the new big screen TV he finally decided to buy from the little weasel of a sales guy in the Sears commercial.

4) Because Deanna's Honey-do list ain't getting any shorter.

3) So he can start leaking rumors about changing his mind and making a comeback again because, y'know, having your own category on the sports crawl at the bottom of the screen is so freaking cool!

2) Because he has nothing left. If what I heard is true, he left it all on the field last night, and since it was in New Orleans, somebody stole all of it. Nothing left.

And the number one reason Brett Favre should retire for good...
He's now old enough to get Medicare and no longer needs employer-subsidized health insurance.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jan 21st 2010
While it may be difficult for us to to understand the crazy behind-the-scenes goings-on at NBC late night, it must be even more difficult for viewers in other countries (though I'm not sure why they would care!).

Thankfully, NMA, a Hong Kong NEWS organization has prepared this animated report that makes the whole mess so easy to follow, even a 5 year old could understand it. Well, a 5 year old on acid.

Seriously, WTF?

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post