Green Bay taxpayers could save more than $100,000 on the first phase of building of the Zippin Pippin roller-coaster at Bay Beach. The savings will come from:
a. shrewd bargaining.
b. low labor costs.
c. cost cutting ideas they received from the safety director at BP.
Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt has reportedly lost some of his enthusiasm for the Zippin Pippin roller coaster after he learned:
a. Elvis never actually rode on it.
b. public support has been less than overwhelming.
c. you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.
A priest in Connecticut is accused of embezzling 1.3 million dollars from the church that he allegedly spent on male escorts. This is very unusual since:
a. most priests would never do such a thing.
b. there aren't many male escorts in Connecticut.
c. normally a priest's partner doesn’t get a million dollars from the church until after a court settlement.
Doctors in New York state have helped a boy born with only half a face. The miraculous surgery was done using:
a. skin taken from the boy's legs and chest.
b. flesh-like latex prosthetics.
c. a donation from BP CEO Tony Hayward since that two faced son-of-a-bitch had one to spare.
A porn star has pledged to orally service every one of her Twitter followers if the Netherlands wins the World Cup. Since making the promise, the number of her Twitter followers has jumped from 15,000 to over 100,000. The toughest part of fulfilling her promise is expected to be:
a. spending that much time on her knees.
b. finding a space big enough to accommodate 100,000 horny guys.
c. turning down all the offers of assistance from George Michael.
An Abercrombie and Fitch store in New York City has had to temporarily close down because it's overrun with bed bugs. Store officials have responded by:
b. replacing their inventory.
c. changing the name of the store to Abercrombie and Itch.
Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday. The sentence shouldn't be to tough for Lindsay since:
a. she'll probably get paroled in a few hours.
b. she could be allowed to serve it at her home under house arrest.
c. after dating that Samantha chick, she's no stranger to spending 90 days in the hole.