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dec 17th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the naked postal worker of Whitefish Bay. For those of you who missed the story, the 52-year-old suburban Milwaukee letter carrier delivered the mail bare ass naked to an office in "stressed out".

So,

For not grasping that when you deliver mail for a living, the only sack your customers want to see is the one with the letters in it.

For not understanding that if he truly wanted to cheer the woman up all he really had to do was just stop delivering her bills.

For apparently thinking USPS stands for United States Pervert Service.

And for not realizing that being approached by a strange naked man in your office is about as likely to lower your stress level as a six-pack of Hardee's Thick Burgers is to lower your cholesterol.

We are proud to name the naked Whitefish Bay mailman as this week's Rick and Len...Weenie of the Week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

dec 10th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…the Sheboygan man who had his tongue bit off by his wife. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Isn't he the victim? If anyone, shouldn’t the wife who bit off the tongue be the weenie. Well, after careful deliberation, I say "no". First off, the wife, from all accounts, suffers from some psychological problems and was probably not responsible for her actions when the incident occurred. Second, the husband knew she has psychological problems and admits he knew she was having a "manic episode' at the time of the biting. And third, in spite of this, the husband chose to enter the bathroom and French kiss his manic wife...while she was on the toilet doing her business.

So,

For not understanding that just because your wife is "dropping the puck" doesn't mean that the time for tonsil hockey has begun.

For not realizing that when your mate is "stocking the porcelain pond with brown trout" it is not the time to go fishing for love.

For not comprehending that you shouldn't go poking around in the attic when "the big brown man is knocking on your wife's back door".

And for not getting that when your wife is "negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages" it's best to just keep your own mouth shut.

We are proud to name the guy who got his tongue bit off while kissing his wife while she was on the toilet as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

dec 3rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...all the line cutters and door rushers who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses including (but not limited to) Toys R Us and Menard's in Grand Chute.

So,

For introducing Jerry Springer Show etiquette combined with WWE Cage Match rules to the season of peace and love.

For fighting and bickering on Black Friday when everybody was supposed to have gotten that out of their systems with their families on Thanksgiving.

For pushing and shoving, yelling and cursing and just generally engaging in behavior so rude, so uncouth, so unsettling they were only a closet and a whore away from being Charlie Sheen.

We are proud to name everybody who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

nov 24th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey who issued a notice that people planning to attend the Downtown Appleton Christmas Parade would not be allowed to leave chairs or blankets on the street this year to reserve their spots any earlier than 9am yesterday morning. Vandehey indicated that the department would collect anything they found left out earlier than that. Vandehey receives this dubious honor for two reasons. 1.) She didn't make the proclamation until 11:40 Monday morning and was then surprised that many people did not get the message. And 2.) For not acting on her threat to collect the items left out before 9am, thus, penalizing those who followed the rules and, in doing so, lost their prime viewing spots to those who did not.

So,

For making a decision that left more people standing out in the cold than the Wisconsin smoking ban.

For making a threat emptier than the heads on the set of Jersey Shore.

And for leaving College Avenue littered with so many old, dirty lawn chairs and filthy blankets, they might as well make downtown Appleton an alternate site for Country USA.

We are proud to name Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

nov 19th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...66-year-old Steven Cowan of Black Earth, Wisconsin, near Madison, who this week threatened his wife and shot his television set while keeping police at bay for 15 hours all because he was angry that Bristol Palin is on Dancing with the Stars. Cowen was reportedly upset because he believes the young Palin is not a good a dancer and the only reason she is on the show is "f'n politics".

So,

For destroying his television set meaning Sarah Palin can now see Russia from her house better than he can see her daughter from his living room.

For putting a bullet through his TV while watching Dancing with the Stars where as a normal man would have put it through his head.

And for realizing what tens of thousands of Wisconsinites have not, that there is no need to brave the cold, wet northern woods this weekend in search of a 30-point buck when he could stay at home and bag a 30-inch Zenith.

We are proud to name 66-year-old Steven Cowan of Dane County who shot his TV and staged a 15 hour police stand off because he was upset that Bristol Palin was on Dancing With the Stars as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

nov 12th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Nancy L. Thornburg of Fond du Lac who after being convicted of drunken driving for the eighth time showed up at her sentencing hearing...intoxicated.

So,

For getting 8 OWIs proving that she learns so well from her own mistakes she's able to repeat them perfectly.

For spending more time in handcuffs than Harry Houdini.

And for showing up at her operating while intoxicated sentencing hearing drunk which is only slightly less inappropriate than showing up at your sentencing hearing for sexual assault with a boner.

We are proud to name Nancy L. Thornburg of Fond du Lac as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

nov 5th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Wisconsin's new Senator-elect Ron Johnson who during his Tuesday night's victory speech said that "we’ve dug ourselves a deep hole" and "we know what needs to be done if you're trying to get out of a deep hole, you need to start digging".

That's right. We're in a deep hole so we better start digging. While I'm clearly no expert on matters like excavation projects, I'm pretty sure that the best thing to do when you're in a hole is to try to climb out rather that start digging which can only make the hole bigger and deeper.

So,

For realizing that even with as many problems as we are currently facing, there is a light at the end of the tunnel... and apparently expecting us to tunnel all the way through the earth to get to the light.

For not yet understanding that as an elected official, he will frequently expected to shovel something...but it won't necessarily be dirt in a hole.

And for being unlike so many elected officials who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground and instead not knowing a hole in the ground from a hole in the ground.

We are proud to name Wisconsin's new Senator-elect Ron Johnson (who, using the same logic must think the best cure for diarrhea is Mexican food) as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 29th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...damn near everyone running for anything and the special interest groups that support them who, for what seems like eons have been running non-stop negative campaign ads, many of which are as wild, crazy and vicious as an inbred pit bull on crack.

So,

For spending more time talking smack than a heroin addict support group.

For running TV ads that are harder to watch than naked episode of The View.

And for slinging mud like it's feces and they're inhabitants of the Milwaukee Zoo monkey house. (and frankly, wouldn't you feel better about voting for just about ANY of the inhabitants of the Milwaukee Zoo monkey house?)

We are proud to name damn near everybody running for anything and the special interest groups that support them that are not only ruining our political process but our TV viewing and radio listening as well as this week’s Rick and Len Show...Weenies of the Week!!!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 22nd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the 28-year-old woman who in the wee hours of October 18th allegedly ripped off her pants and underwear and laid down on the sidewalk outside the Rehab Bar in Sheboygan screaming that she was giving birth. The only problem was, as a trip to the hospital would confirm, she wasn't pregnant.

So,

For claiming to be pregnant when, in fact, her womb was as empty as the promises in 99.9% of the this season's political ads.

For not even being in labor, despite claiming to have more contractions than a performance by Larry the Cable Guy.

And for causing a tremendous spectacle with jaw-droppingly bizarre and entirely pointless behavior...or as it’s known in Sheboygan. Monday!

We are proud to name the woman stripped off the clothes on the sidewalk outside a bar and claimed to be having a baby when she wasn't even pregnant as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 15th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Troy Kaczor, the guy who had to be rescued from the chilly waters of the Wisconsin River at Big Bull Falls Park in downtown Wausau this week. Kaczor, who according to police "had been drinking heavily", reportedly almost drown after he plunged into the river while chasing a one-legged goose he was trying to capture with the intent of roasting it for dinner.

So,

For trying to catch the water fowl with the intent of roasting it but instead almost cooking his own goose.

For actions that, when he goes to court, should leave him, unlike the goose he sought to capture, without even one leg to stand on.

For losing a foot race to a one-legged goose which has to be damn near as humiliating as getting your ass kicked in darts by Michael J. Fox.

We are proud to name Troy Kaczor, the almost drowned, one legged goose chaser of Wausau as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 8th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Al, the farmer who called us this week to complain about the Help Twitchy raffle to raise money for an 11-year-old Van Dyne boy with a rare and severe form of Tourette's Syndrome that was treated with an experimental surgery that the insurance company won't cover leaving his parents with well over a hundred thousand dollars in medical bills.

(When Al called us on Wednesday he was angry that people would want to "bail out" this kid’s family just because he had an illness when nobody is bailing out him and his farm. He questioned where the priorities of most Americans are that they don't seem to care about farmers like him but they would give money to help some sick kid. He has since called to clarify his position and say that he doesn't mind if people want to help the kid.)

Still,

For proving that the organic fertilizer storage container isn't the only thing on his farm that's full of crap.

For showing about as much compassion as Paris Hilton shows intelligence.

For being so heartless and brainless he should be skipping down the yellow brick road with Dorothy and the lion.

For making comments so ludicrous it makes you wonder what gets plowed more, him or his fields.

We are proud to name Al, the farmer (despite the fact that we sympathize with his plight and his frustration) as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

Make your donation by clicking on the Help Twitchy Raffle icon and get into the drawing for great prizes while helping this great kid and his family! Raffle ends next week!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

oct 1st 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...District Attorney John Henkelmann of Wood County who was caught on security camera watching porn on a computer in the business room of the Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake and engaging in what an employee called "lewd" and illegal behavior. All during a conference for prosecutors sponsored by the Wisconsin Department of Justice.

So,

For giving the Wisconsin Department of Justice such a black eye Ken Kratz will probably want to date it.

For not realizing that he was staying at the Osthoff Resort not the Wackoff Resort.

And for looking at internet porn in a public place while engaging in lewd and illegal behavior. And while reports don't say what the behavior was, since it was during a conference for prosecutors, you gotta wonder if he was interrogating the bald headed witness, exercising the penal code to it's natural conclusion, tampering with his own hung jury or discharging the one eyed suspect.

We are proud to name Wood County D.A. John Henkelmann as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 24th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...for the second consecutive week (a feat unprecedented in Weenie of the Week history)...Calumet County D.A. Ken "The Prize" Kratz. Of course, Ken earned the distinction last week for repeatedly sexting a domestic abuse victim whose assailant he was supposed to be prosecuting.

However, this week we learned that "The Prize" allegedly shared confidential information about a police investigation into the whereabouts of a missing woman with a date he met on Match.com. After the miss...to watch the autopsy of the of the deceased woman but only if the date would wear a skirt and heels and agree to be his girlfriend.

So,

For apparently getting his dating advice from episodes of The Addams Family.

For being creepier than Dollar Store underwear.

For allegedly wanting to take a date to the morgue which is ironic since most women wouldn't be caught dead on a date with Ken Kratz.

And for finding a way to make himself even creepier which is comparable to water finding a way to make itself wetter, Jeff Foxworthy finding a way to make his neck redder or Sheboygan finding a way to make itself even weirder.

We are proud to name Calumet County D.A. Ken "The Prize" Kratz, for the second week in a row...as our Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

(Side note: I read Stephen King's book The Shining about a billion years ago. I remember that near the beginning of the book, the main character Jack Torrence is applying for the job as off-season care taker for the big, spooky Overlook Hotel. As the manager is interviewing him, Jack keeps looking at him and keeps thinking the same words over and over. "Officious prick!" That's the same reaction I have to the picture of Kratz on the above left--Rick)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 17th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz who, over the course of three days, sent 30 text messages of a domestic abuse victim whose assailant Kratz was supposed to be prosecuting. Among the messages were gems like...

"Are u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA...the riskier the better?"

"Hey...Miss Communication, what's with the sticking point? Your low self-esteem and you fear you can't successfully play in my big sandbox?"

"I'm the attorney. I have the $350,000 house. I have the 6-figure career. You may be the tall, young, hot nymph, but I am the prize!"

So,

For sending text messages that are almost as creepy as his 70's gay porno mustache.

For claiming to be "the prize", when, as far as I know, no woman has ever considered a man who looks like the mutant offspring of Chris Farley and Joseph Stalin a "prize".

For not realizing that "prizes" like him don’t come in a Cracker Jack box...they come in a tissue.

And for causing a world wide "w" shortage by creating texts for which the only suitable response is ..."Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"!

We are proud to name Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 10th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer’s Market. If you missed the story earlier in the week, while attending this past Saturday's Farmer's Market in Appleton, I encountered a woman in her little jogging outfit and ear buds who was growing more and more irritated that people kept inadvertently stepping in front of her while she was trying to jog through the middle of a crowd of a few thousand people. Every few steps, the woman would have to zig around one person only to have to zag around the next. Each time shaking her head in disbelief at their rudeness for strolling down College Avenue at a casual pace and examining the Farmer's Market merchandise while she was trying to jog, dammit! She made her displeasure all the more clear by gently pushing people like myself out of her way and uttering frustrated grunts and harrumphs in the general direction of the offenders.

So,

For being more clueless than the Jimmy Hoffa investigation.

For acting more entitled than Paris Hilton on Free Hot Wings for Coke Whores night.

And for wearing an expensive looking jogging outfit when all she really needed to be wearing was a t-shirt that read, "There is no I in team...but there is one smack dab in the middle of BITCH!"

We are proud to name the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer's Market as this week's Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

sep 3rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Jonathan Popple of Baraboo who, according to police, shot a hole through the floor of his home because he was so stoned he thought he was shooting at a space alien from a movie.

So,

For trying to pop a cap in the alien's ass before the alien could put a probe in his.

For apparently being so paranoid he felt he had to stop E.T. before that pencil-necked space monkey ate all his Reese's Pieces.

And for forgoing a close encounter of the 3rd kind in favor of a close encounter of the 4/20th kind.

We are proud to name Jonathon Popple who shot a hole in his floor while trying to shoot a space alien he saw after getting stoned...as this week’s Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 13th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...two of the strippers involved in an altercation this week outside The Other Place, a Fond du Lac strip club. Two dancers in their 30's allegedly roughly grabbed and spit on a 21-year-old dancer whom they accused of allowing men to inappropriately touch her during lap dances so she could make more money. The 21-year-old told police the altercation started in the club's dressing room where someone, presumably one or both of the two older dancers, glued her curling iron shut.

So,

For gluing the other stripper's curling iron shut when they obviously really wanted to glue her legs shut.

For getting into a 3-way all stripper cat fight outside the business proving once and for all that the streets of Fond du Lac are way too classy to be known ONLY for public urination.

And for using glue on the curling iron which proves there is, in fact, something in a strip club even stickier than the pole (and presumably the pants of the 21-year-old dancer's customers!)

We are proud to name the fighting Fondy strippers as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

(Picture not of the actual Fondy fighting strippers!)
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 30th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton police officer who reportedly gave a 22-year-old girl who puked on the curb while waiting for a cab a $200.00 citation for "littering" because, as she was later informed, "puking will not be tolerated in Appleton".

So,

For assuming she was drunk when she may have been just training to be a super model.

For disrupting her while she was in the process of delivering a pavement pizza.

For interfering while she was kindly guiding some emigrants out of Tummyland.

And for violating the girl's right to religious freedom by interrupting her while she was doing the next best thing to praying to the porcelain god, which is giving offerings to the cement deity.

We are proud to name the Appleton police officer who cited the girl for littering because she vomited as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 23rd 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
Outagamie County Board Supervisor Peter Beckley, who this week was charged
drunk driving...for the fourth time!

Police say he was driving without headlights on one night last February when an officer tried to pull him over. But even though the cop had his squad car lights and siren on, Beckley didn't pull over. Instead he drove into his own driveway and tried to walk into his house. The criminal complaint says he then refused a sobriety test and told the officer "this is my house" and ordered the cop off the property. By the way, his license was already suspended from his third O-W-I.


So,

For apparently thinking that no matter how drunk you are, as long as you make it home, you're good. No ticket for you.

For allegedly having a point-oh-two-one blood alcohol content, which is apparently about twice as high as his I-Q.

And for doing his level best as the county's Finance Committee Chairman to keep the county in the black by paying lots of drunk driving fines.

We are proud to name Outagamie County Board Supervisor and accused four-time drunk driving offender Peter Beckley as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2010
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...the several people who called Appleton police early Thursday morning to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue. Responding officers rushed to the scene only to find...a shirtless man wearing tan shorts.

So,

For apparently getting their hopes up that the Appleton entertainment district had suddenly become more entertaining.

For not being able to define obscenity but knowing it when they don't really see it.

And for calling the pigs before they even saw the pork.

We are proud to name all the people who called the Appleton PD to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue when it was really just a guy in tan shorts as this week's Rick and Len Show... Weenies of the Week.
posted by: Rick and Len at 12:00 am Comment On This Post