Doug Benson will join us in the studio for the Rick and Len show Friday morning from 8 to 9. Doug is in town for a "special engagement" Friday and Saturday nights only at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Make reservations at 920-734-JOKE.
You've probably seen Doug on Last Comic Standing or VH1's Best Week Ever. He is also the star of the documentary Super High Me and co-creator of the stage show The Marijuana-logues which earned him the honor of being named High Times Magazine's 2006 Stoner of the year!
His new Comedy Central Special premiers Friday night!
Here's a little Doug:
By popular demand, here's the actual x-ray of the Australian woman hospitalized with an extra large can of hairspray lodged in her backdoor that Rick and Len were talking about.
She told doctors that the can got jammed there when she "tripped and fell...honest!"
If you believe that you probably also believe the only thing keeping the Packers from playing in the Super Bowl is the lack of available hotel space in Tampa and that Richard Simmons just hasn't found the right woman!
Packer coach Mike McCarthy is reportedly close to signing Mike Nolan from the 49ers as thier new defensive coordinator. Here's some other folks McCarthy reportedly considered.
Bill Clinton: May know more than any man on earth about plugging holes.
Angelina Jolie: While most defensive coordinators would try to rebuild through the draft or free agency, Angelina could do so exclusively through adoption.
Former Packer punter Derek Frost: Could come in and really kick some ass. But obviously not hard enough to hurt anyone.
President George W. Bush: After Jarrett Bush led the team in penalties this season in addition to allowing a punt to hit him in the back during the Bear game that led to a Chicago score, it might be nice to have a Bush on the team who was even less competent.
Designer Tommy Hilfiger: May not know much about football, but can probably make a nice dress out of all the yellow flags thrown at the team this season.
Scarlett Johansson: We have no reason to believe she knows anything about designing a complex defensive game plan for a professional football team, but if the team did win a game, just think of how hot she would look in a tight white shirt soaked in ice cold Gatorade.
Senator Larry Craig: If the team has to have a defensive coordinator who sucks, it's got to be better to have one that does it in the privacy of an airport men's room instead of in front of 70,000 fans on game day.
Have you seen the new season of Bret Michaels Rock of Love Bus on VH-1? It's dumb ass, huge hootered, uber-skanks on wheels! Sweet God almighty, these are the most brain dead women with the largest lung warts in history. Apparently, brains and silicone can not exist in the same body. Punxatawny Phil sees the sun more often than their feet do!
On the premier episode, one of the girls drank a shot from a test tube that one of the other girl was, ahhhh, holding with her downtown lady parts. Classy! For her sake, I hope she used the shot to wash down her Valtrex.
But holy crap are most these women stupid. They make the contestents on previous seasons seem like a bunch or Albert Einstein's (but with great racks!)
However, you'd have a easier time finding a vegetarian in a buzzard flock than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a pork chop in a synagogue than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding an attorney in heaven than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a Super Bowl Trophy in Minnesota.
A woman's name in Ryan Seacrest's black book.
Groupies backstage at The View than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding an Illinois governor with his hand in his own pocket.
A non-deaf person at a Celine Dion concert.
A defensive coach in Green Bay with a job than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a condom machine in the Vatican.
A sober bridesmaid at a Menasha wedding.
A solid bowel movement in the men’s room at 60 Minutes than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
In fact, you'd have a easier time finding a virgin on the Rock of Love bus…than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a square inch of the Rock of Love bus not covered in skank juice than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a good reason to watch Rock of Love Bus than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus. (Except, of course, for the boobs. Did I mention the boobs? Yeah, them is some mighty big boobs!)