(Actual Madison police officer holding the actual seized weapons)
May 2nd City of Madison
Police received a rash of calls from concerned citizens reporting a group of teen boys in a car shooting squirt guns at other vehicles. Officers quickly located the suspects who were armed with a pair of Super Soaker Tornado Scream water blasters that according to police, "unleash wide-stream soakage with a mighty stream of water up to 35 feet via a pressurized-trigger and spinning nozzle." Officers gave the boys a stern talking to and confiscated the Super Soaker Tornado Scream water blasters.
April 28th City of Oak Creek
An officer responded to Pick 'n Save after a man threatened to break a gumball machine. The man apparently became upset after he put 50 cents into the machine and it didn't dispense a gumball. The store reimbursed the man the 50 cents, and he again tried to put the change into the machine. Still no gumball. The man then threatened to break the machine, and told the employee to call police. When the officer arrived he put 50 cents into the machine and got three gumballs. The man was warned about his behavior and was told not to threaten to break any more gumball machines.
May 4th Village of Pewaukee
Police received a report of a 9-year-old girl dressed as a unicorn and knocking on the door of an ice cream shop. The girl's mother was nearby and told police her daughter likes dressing up in furry costumes and waving to people. She was not aware that such behavior would cause a problem that required police intervention.
May 3rd Community of Deerbrook
Officers responded to a call from a man reporting he just returned home and found a note on his door reading "return my minnow trap or else I will make your life hell". The caller told police he has no idea what this was about or who left the note.
April 28th Village of Jackson
An employee of a local business told police that they received more than a dozen, profanity-laced telephone calls from a 49-year-old man with whom they are familiar. The man would make his remark, usually incorporating the f-word, then hang up. An officer warned the man that he’d be arrested if the calls continued. The man immediately called the business again and delivered a hearty “F*** you”. When police confronted the man about the final call, he claimed it must have been a “pocket dial".
May 1st Dane County
A Stoughton man contacted police to report finding what he described as a "big box of human blood" in the middle of the road. Police determined that the box, clearly marked "human blood" belonged to the American Red Cross. A Red Cross lab technician told officers they were expecting a delivery of six boxes of blood from a satellite office, but only received five. They believe the volunteer who was transporting it, accidentally left one box of blood on the hood or roof of their car before driving off. Since the box was not damaged, the blood was still good to go.
April 30th Village of Jackson
Two officers and the sheriff's deputy were dispatched to break up a fight at the Jackson Pub. The deejay reported that he’d been paid to work until 11:00 PM but when he started to pack up, two patrons, ages 50 and 60, demanded that he keep playing music and work for free. Their demands became insistent and loud, at which time the deejay called for police protection.
April 29th Village of Jackson
The principal of the elementary school told police two of his students reported being chased by a 10-year-old with an axe.
April 29th Village of Jackson
An officer stopped an 82-year-old man on Highway 45 after he failed to dim his high beams as numerous vehicles overtook and passed him. The officer asked the man about the odor of intoxicants inside the car and the man said he was returning from a gathering of his German singing group and had had just one beer to keep his vocal cords loose. The elderly gentleman blew a .02 on the Breathalyzer apparently proving his claim that he only had enough to warm his vocal chords for his German singing group.
May 1st City of Marshfield
A man called police and reported he found a woman he didn't know in his residence. He said the woman ran out a patio door when he saw her, and he chased her until she got into a van. Officers determined the incident didn't happen and issued the man a citation for obstructing an officer.
May 3rd City of Green Bay
Officers responded to a residence on 5th Street where a child playing with toy handcuffs got stuck to a drain pipe. May 5th City of Sheboygan Police were called to Kohl's Department Store where a fired employee... keeps showing up for work.
April 27th City of Waukesha
An 18-year-old man shoved a screw through his wrist with his own hand. According to the police report, the man was upset following an argument with his mother and forced the screw through his wrist to "relieve stress."
April 28th City of Wauwatosa
A 45-year-old man who was found passed out in a grassy area was taken into custody after police asked him for identification and he handed them a marijuana pipe.
May 2nd City of Delafield
Police spotted but were unable to round up a number of male teenagers who were running around in various states of undress and shooting each other with Nerf and water guns. According to the police report, the teens ran into a house when they spotted police and refused to answer the door when an officer knocked.
May 2nd Village of Pewaukee
At 10:57am, a village police officer reported assisting a baby duck crossing the street. According to the police report, the officer "wasn't sure where the duckling wanted to go," but made sure the duckling made it safely from the railroad tracks there across a busy street. The mother duck wasn't immediately found.
May 2nd Village of Pewaukee
Police were dispatched to remove a bicycle hung from the swing set at a local park. The owner of the bike told officers he had left the bicycle at the park overnight, and suspected some "big kids" put it on the swing set. No suspects have been identified.
May 6th City of Sheboygan
Police confronted a man on the 8th Street bridge who allegedly peed and pooped in the river.
April 28th City of Waukesha
A resident asked police to be more proactive against "Muslims" and "Indians" because he was concerned some personal information he used in an online job search was going to be used against him by "terrorists." The man said his accounts had not been hacked, but demanded action by police anyway.
May 2nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A boy told police some kids knocked on his door, he opened it, and they barged in, took his scooter and shoved it in a mud hole.
April 30th City of Beaver Dam
Police received a report of a man in a dress standing in a bush.
May 1st City of Wisconsin Rapids
A citizen called police to report finding a live hamster inside a cage inside a dumpster. Police determined that the owner of the hamster in the cage accidentally left it in the dumpster and now was in route to pick it up.