Fifty of the nation's wealthiest people recently had their annual rich bastard's meeting. At least 10 billionaires (with a "B"!) were in attendance at this year's Blackstone Group meeting. According to to reports, the mood was downbeat, even gloomy. Yes, the recession has taken it's toll on America's billionaires, poor things.
Hey, turn that frown upside down, Mr. (or Ms.) Money Bags! And let us take a look at the top ten...
REASONS BILLIONAIRES ARE DEPRESSED
10. Surgeon General has warned that the cigars they've been lighting with hundred dollar bills could be hazardous to their health.
9. They've developed painful blisters on fingertips from repeatedly tapping them together while mumbling, "excellent".
8. They learned that Obama-care fails to provide medical coverage for injuries sustained while rolling around on beds covered with large piles of dirty, sexy money.
7. They've been spending too much time in their gloomy ass bat cave with their sad bastard manservant Alfred.
6. Due to meddling by the Food and Drug Administration, they can no longer legally buy Baby Gold Bond Powder made from real gold...and real babies.
5. They're sure if the seemingly never ending supply of bosomy blonds with asses you could bounce quarters off lining up for an opportunity to bang them like a cheap screen door are just interested in them for their money.
4. They hate the dirty looks they get for taking up 5 spaces with their stretch limo in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
3. Billions inherited from family's famed hotel empire can't change the fact that their daughter's a coke addled whore. (Richard Hilton only)
2. Due to rising inflation, cost of having a business rival tortured and killed 4.3% higher than at this time last year.
1. They were informed that Lamborghini is still no closer to producing a high performance car that runs on an enriched mixture of beluga caviar, Cristal champagne and the crushed dreams of the working poor.
You may have heard us play the song "Donald Driver" by the band Dos Guyz on the Rick and Len Show...and now you can buy it!
"Donald Driver" is a fantastic ode to the Pack's #80 put the the tune of Dio's "Holy Diver." It's the brainchild of a former Wisconsin resident and die-hard Packer fan who now lives and rocks in Seattle. Click here to hear it or buy it for yourself.
Jonah Hinds (for whom we're hosting a benefit raffle) will be featured tonight on a Discovery Health Channel special tonight at 8pm with repeats at 10pm and throughout the week. Find out more about this sensational kid from Van Dyne and his remarkable struggle by checking it out. Here's a clip of Jonah from the show
And make sure you buy some tickets for the benefit raffle by clicking the donate button below. You could win a Ted Nugent autographed boar's skull, an Aaron Rodger's autographed jersey, an Amazon Kindle, cool electronic gizmos, retail gift cards, prize baskets and more. The prize list is growing daily.
Buy your tickets easily and securely through PayPal by simply clicking on the DONATE button below.Your donation amount will determine how many raffle ticket numbers we will assign. Your numbers will be sent to you via the email address you use when you donate.
Tickets are just $10 each, six for $50 or 13 for $100. Thanks for your support and good luck!
According to Jordy Nelson, while the Packers were on their way to the stadium Sunday, Philly fans used sling-shots to pelt their bus with eggs. By the time they reached Lincoln Financial Field the bus was: a. severely damaged. b. beyond recognition. c. covered in more gooey protein than Ricky Martin at an Elton John pool party.
The reason Philly fans used eggs to pelt the bus was: a. to show they thought the Packers were a yolk. b. an attempt to beat the team by boosting their cholesterol. c. they were all out of batteries.
During Sunday's Packer game, Justin Harrell suffered what appeared to be a season ending knee injury. Harrell suffering a serious injury is: a. a massive blow to the Packer defense. b. a set back for Harrell’s career. c. as predicable as an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger.
At last night's MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West performed a song toasting a-holes, scumbags and douchebags. The song is expected to be: a. controversial. b. a hit. c. the new theme for British Petroleum.
At the Video Music Awards's, pop star Lady Gaga wore a dress made entirely of raw meat. The meat dress was designed to: a. attract attention. b. annoy PETA. c. keep the flies off Lindsey Lohan.
After wearing the dress of raw meat, Lady Gaga is expected to change her name to: a. Lady RawRaw b. Lady Tartar c. Mrs. Guy Zima
Tourism officials in Mexico City are starting a campaign to attract gay honeymooners. This move will make the Mexican capital the perfect place to go if you’re looking for: a. an open minded vacation spot. b. fabulous parties. c. steamy Juan on Juan action.
September 5th City of Marshfield A 48-year-old employee witnessed two males acting suspiciously at the Central Wisconsin State Fair. Police found one of the men in possession of two five-pound bags of cheese curds and a pack of English muffins. The items were valued at $164.
September 18th City of Oshkosh An 18-year-old girl notified police that a man claiming to be an FBI agent tried to get her to go with him. According to the woman, she first encountered the man while she was walking home from Opera House Square and she noticed him screaming at a light post.
September 9th City of Shawano Police were called to a residence where they cited a man for public intoxication after he reportedly peed on a couch.
September 6th Village of Footville (Rock County) Police arrested a firefighter they say made 4 phony 911 calls reporting of gas odors with his fire district. The firefighter admitted to police that he made the false reports because he just wanted to go out on calls.
September 8th City of Shawano Police were called to aid in the search for a missing 10-year-old boy. The boy was eventually found...hiding in the bathroom.
September 4th City of Wisconsin Rapids A man on Chase Street called police to report someone unplugged his refrigerator and dismantled his clock.
August 14th City of New London Police received a call from a woman on West Cameron Street whose estranged husband kicked open her door and threw her phone across the room. The man also reportedly threw a loaf of bread.
August 14th City of De Pere Police responded to a call from someone on Main Street where a man was seen stomping on flower plants, pulling them up and then throwing them in the air. Alcohol was believed to be a factor.
We've added an autographed Aaron Rodgers Packer Jersey to the list of prizes including the Nugent signed boar head and lots of others for the Benefit for Jonah Hinds Raffle. Scroll down a bit for more prizes and information about Jonah and his medical condition! (watch the video...seriously!)
Buy your tickets easily and securely through PayPal by simply clicking on the DONATE button below.
Your donation amount will determine how many raffle ticket numbers we will assign.
Tickets are just $10 each, six for $50 or 13 for $100.
Your numbers will be sent to you via the email address you use when you donate.
The prize drawing will be held October 15, 2010 and winning numbers will be posted on this website.
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer’s Market. If you missed the story earlier in the week, while attending this past Saturday's Farmer's Market in Appleton, I encountered a woman in her little jogging outfit and ear buds who was growing more and more irritated that people kept inadvertently stepping in front of her while she was trying to jog through the middle of a crowd of a few thousand people. Every few steps, the woman would have to zig around one person only to have to zag around the next. Each time shaking her head in disbelief at their rudeness for strolling down College Avenue at a casual pace and examining the Farmer's Market merchandise while she was trying to jog, dammit! She made her displeasure all the more clear by gently pushing people like myself out of her way and uttering frustrated grunts and harrumphs in the general direction of the offenders.
For being more clueless than the Jimmy Hoffa investigation.
For acting more entitled than Paris Hilton on Free Hot Wings for Coke Whores night.
And for wearing an expensive looking jogging outfit when all she really needed to be wearing was a t-shirt that read, "There is no I in team...but there is one smack dab in the middle of BITCH!"
We are proud to name the exasperated, harrumphing jogger of the Farmer's Market as this week's Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
Here's a couple pics of the boar skull autographed by sweaty uncle Teddy that's just one of the prizes in the Jonah Hinds Benefit Raffle. Scroll down a bit for more details about the raffle, a list of some of the other prizes, info about Jonah and the place to click to buy your tickets now!
Jonah Hinds is an 11-year-old boy from Van Dyne who has quite literally been given his life back thanks to recent experimental brain surgery at American Family Medical Center in Madison.
Four years ago Jonah (known as Twitchy to family and friends) began suffering from uncontrollable shaking which made it impossible for him to sit through classes at school, services at church or any of what we consider "normal" childhood activities. He was diagnosed with a rare form of Tourette's Syndrome and the answer, at least for now, is deep brain stimulation. He's hooked up to a rechargeable battery that keeps the involuntary muscle movements to a minimum. Thankfully he's doing well but more surgeries will be needed and the Hinds family's insurance company refuses to pay for them.
That's why The Rick and Len Show and some great volunteers are conducting a benefit raffle for Jonah. We have compiled an extensive list of cool prizes, including one-of-a-kind autographed Ted Nugent items, cool electronic gizmos, retail gift cards, prize baskets and more. The prize list is growing daily. Check out a few highlights below.
The prize drawing will be held October 15, 2010 and winning numbers will be posted on this website (www.rickandlen.com).
Buy your tickets easily and securely through PayPal by simply clicking on the DONATE button below. Your donation amount will determine how many raffle ticket numbers we will assign. Your numbers will be sent to you via the email address you use when you donate.
Tickets are just $10 each, six for $50 or 13 for $100. Thanks for your support and good luck!
RAFFLE PRIZES (Only a few listed...more added each day)
*Wild Boar Skull signed by Ted Nugent. Value: priceless. Donated by: Austin Family. Boar was shot at Ted Nugent's Sunrize Acres in Michigan. Skull has been cleaned and bleached and autographed by Ted himself in March of 2010.
*Amazon Kindle DX Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G, 9.7" Display, Graphite, 3G Works Globally - Latest Generation. Donated by Women's Care of Wisconsin.
*Dlink Photo Frame. This isn't just a photo frame. This device connects directly with the internet through your Wi-Fi or Ethernet connection. It not only displays pictures but also top news stories, Facebook updates, and more! Your friends can even send a picture directly to this frame- no need for you to download pictures from an email and then transfer it to the frame. Donated by Cellcom. Two of these will be awarded.
*$100 Cellcom giftcard. Donated by Cellcom. Two of these will be awarded.
*Gander Mountain Fishing Package. Donated by Gander Mountain of Sheboygan.
*Autographed Ted Nugent Hunting Music 2-cd set of unreleased music the Nuge. Donated by Bill Austin.
*Fleet Farm Gift Card. Donated by Plymouth Fleet farm. Check out this video of Jonah's amazing journey!
August 22nd City of Chilton Police assistance was requested on Court Street where a girlfriend hit a man across the face because his feet crossed the center of the bed.
August 15th City of Appleton A Neenah woman reported that her 15-year-old son stole her car keys. Police determined that the son had hidden the keys at home because he was upset because his parents took away his iPad.
August 29th Village of Shorewood Police were called to a North Stowell Avenue residence where an unknown person had written a derogatory word with aerosol cheese. A can of Silly String was also found on the property.
August 27th City of New Berlin Police received a report from a Victoria Court resident that somebody had rearranged their patio bricks to look like a penis. August 22nd City of Wisconsin Rapids Police received a report of a raccoon on Gaynor Avenue that appeared to be drunk.
August 22nd City of Neenah A man complained to police about a noisy baptismal reception in Riverside Park involving children breaking a piñata.
August 26th City of Mayville An officer drove past three boys sitting on a curb near the intersection of Rae Lane and Breckenridge Street. After driving past, a 10-year-old boy mooned the officer which he saw in his mirror. The boy was taken to his father to explain the incident. The 10-year-old boy was given a warning for disorderly conduct.
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Jonathan Popple of Baraboo who, according to police, shot a hole through the floor of his home because he was so stoned he thought he was shooting at a space alien from a movie.
For trying to pop a cap in the alien's ass before the alien could put a probe in his.
For apparently being so paranoid he felt he had to stop E.T. before that pencil-necked space monkey ate all his Reese's Pieces.
And for forgoing a close encounter of the 3rd kind in favor of a close encounter of the 4/20th kind.
We are proud to name Jonathon Popple who shot a hole in his floor while trying to shoot a space alien he saw after getting stoned...as this week’s Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!
Our friends at the Highland Mint have some awesome new collectibles for Badger fans and...WE'RE GIVING THEM AWAY ON THE RICK AND LEN SHOW!
New Badger items include this very cool, limited edition University of Wisconsin Camp Randall Stadium 24KT Gold Coin Photomint! Also matted in the frame is a 24KT Gold Plated University Logo Coin as well as a 24KT Gold Plated University Seal Coin. Officially Licensed by the CLC.
To check out all of the Highland Mint's Badger items, click here!
And keep listening to the Rick and Len Show for your chances to win!
Head and Shoulders shampoo has reportedly insured the hair of their spokesman, Pittsburgh Steeler Troy Polamalu, with Lloyd's of London for $1,000,000!
Here's some other celebs with insured body parts...
LARRY KING Has insured his testicles for 2 million dollars and can collect should he injure himself tripping over them.
ELTON JOHN Has insured his eyes for five million dollars. One million for the right one. One million for the left one. And 3 million for the brown one.
THE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE Wanted to take out a policy covering the parts of their bodies that best symbolizes their well earned reputation in the national media…however, not even Lloyd’s of London would insure genital herpes.
CONGRESSMAN STEVE KAGEN Has insured his brain cells for one hundred million dollars each. Not because he’s a congressman. But because they’re just that rare.
LADY GAGA Has taken out a 6 million dollar policy…one million for every inch of her penis. (Tommy Lee has reportedly also taken out a similar policy for 10 million dollars…and Tom Cruise for a half million dollars).
OUTGOING BP HEAD TONY HAYWARD Has insured his colon for a million dollars which is probably wise given his history of being unable to plug holes once something comes gushing out of them.
PARIS HILTON Has insured her nose for a million dollars. Not that it’s her trademark or anything. It’s just that’s the approximate value of the coke she has lodged in her septum at any given time.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS OWNER ZYGI WILF Has insured his a-hole for 10 million dollars. And he’ll collect only if something happens to his a-hole that prevents it from starting all 16 games at quarterback this season.
August 23rd City of Oshkosh Police responded to report of an altercation taking place in a van parked at Fourth Avenue and Guenther Streets. A couple who had gone out to their van an to get away from their kids and have "sexual relations" got in a fight over which one could quit smoking first. The man told police his girlfriend suddenly "went tart" and punched him in the nose.
August 24th City of Shawano An East Schurz Street resident informed police that during an argument, her neighbor threw a tomato at her.
August 10th City of Menasha While on patrol, an officer noticed that someone had dumped soap in the water fountain at the corner of Milwaukee and Main again. The officer found two empty bottles of dish soap floating in the water.
August 10th City of Neenah Police cited a 24-year-old Shiocton man for shoplifting ONE condom from a department store on South Green Bay Road.
August 25th City of Shawano A woman on South River notified police that some of the feces her neighbor threw over the fence landed on her truck.
August 17th City of Greenfield A man in his early 20s, skinny, pale with short blond hair is sought by police after he appeared in front of George Webb naked, shaking his hips and calling out, "hey ladies!".
August 19th City of Oak Creek Police were called to the Open Pantry where a man was seen shoplifting $125.28 worth of Starburst candy.
July 31st Village of Pulaski Officers responded to a report of a man playing a trumpet in the men's bathroom at the Polka Grounds. The man told officers he gets better sound in the men's room.
We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week... the engineers at WBAY Channel 2, who must not have been paying much attention last night during their broadcast of the Packers game...because while viewers could see the game, what they heard coming from their TV speakers was the audio from the hit ABC TV series Wipeout.
So, for running sound from Wipeout during a game the Pack won 59 to 24, which I guess could be called inadvertent yet appropriate genius... For running only the audio from Wipeout when any idiot knows that all you really want from that show is the pictures of Jill Wagner, the totally hot chick who interviews the contestants.
And for pissing off thousands of Packer fans, which tells me that the people at Channel 2 have no knowledge of Packer history...these people will kill your dog, for God's sake.
We are proud to name the engineers at WBAY Channel 2, or whoever was responsible for running the sound from ABC's Wipeout during the broadcast of the Packers-Colts game at Lambeau last night as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.
105.7 WAPL, Wisconsin's Rock Station, is a 100,000 watt radio station serving Green Bay, Appleton, Oshkosh, and the surrounding communities in the Fox Valley and Northeast Wisconsin.
105.7 WAPL is also your FM home for Green Bay Packers football. Listen all season for complete Packers Radio Network game coverage from Wayne Larrivee and Larry McCarren.
The Rockin' Apple has spent over thirty years entertaining listeners through the music of artists like Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Ozzy Osbourne, Van Halen, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue, and countless others - along with concerts, contests and the humor of the veteran morning duo of Rick and Len.
In 2008, WAPL won the prestigious Marconi Award for national Rock Station of the Year. WAPL has also been awarded Rolling Stone Magazine Reader's Choice Station five times (1990, 92, 93, 94, and 95). In 1999, the station won Radio and Records Small Market Rock Station of the Year, and in 2004 and 2006 won the Wisconsin Area Music Industry.