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apr 14th
I\'m sick of this controversy concerning Tiger Woods being caught swearing during The Masters. He dropped a g-damn and a Jeesy Creesy and from sportscaster Jim Nantz\'s reaction you\'d have thought he butchered and ate a live baby on 18th green. Come on. It\'s golf! You\'re trying to hit a dimpled ball with an oddly shaped club into a hole a fraction of the size of the one between the Octomom\'s legs and you\'re supposed to do that with a vocabulary less colorful than that of the Vice President of the United States. F.U. Jim Nantz!

To me, golf without swearing is like...

...Baseball without spitting.

...Football without ass slapping.

...Basketball without fathering illegitimate children!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Politics without bickering.

...Eating with swallowing.

Dating Tiger....without swallowing!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Rosie O\'Donnell without flannel.

...Lindsey Lohan without crabs.

...Bombshell McGee without enough red ink to be an accountant at Mercury Marine!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Willie Nelson\'s tour bus without more smoke than a forest fire.

...Whitney Houston without more crack than the Liberty Bell.

...Amy Winehouse\'s arm without more tracks than the Soo Line!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Star Trek convention without virgins.

...The set of The View without a jumbo sized bottle of Midol.

...The Fox 11 cloak room without an extra-large hat rack!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Toyota driver\'s underwear without skid marks.

...Like John Gosselin without either vinegar or water.

...The bride at a Menasha wedding without flies!

In fact, golf without swearing is like...

My wiener without dust!!!