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apr 5th
OPENING DAZE
SIGNS THIS ISN\'T GOING TO BE YOUR TEAM\'S WORLD SERIES SEASON.

If your manager is in best shape of his life from all the time he spent walking out to the pitcher\'s mound during spring training...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

If the only improvement the club has made since last season is the addition of a new team manicurist to eliminate the number of painful and embarrassing sack scratching injuries...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

If to bolster concession sales during these tough economic times, the team is now giving players a 10 percent discount on all beer and hot dogs they buy before the 5th inning...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

If your team decides to save millions of dollars on a quality closer by just mercifully just ending all your games after seven innings...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

If your team receives a grant from the National Park Service based on your pitching staff having more damaged limbs than the Chequamegon National Forest after a tornado...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

If the owner has announced a plan to combine the designated hitter with designated driver so your team’s many drunken players now at least have someone to drive them home after the game...this might not be your team\'s World Series season.

And if your team\'s logo looks suspiciously like the one on the left...as usual, this will definitely not be your team\'s World Series season.