January 25th - Lake Oswego, Oregon
A woman called police because she became suspicious when she discovered a wet footprint on her front porch. Upon investigation by police, they discovered that the footprint was her own.
February 4th - Miramar, Florida
A charter school went on lockdown and a main road and adjoining side streets were blocked for over two hours after suspicious items discovered in the street in front of the school. Police eventually determined that the suspicious items were several decorative pillows.
January 30th - East Greenwich, Pennsylvania
Authorities are searching for a man who tried to rob a Hallmark store. According to police, the suspect presented the store's cashier with a Hallmark birthday card in which he had written his own lovely sentiment. Written inside of it were these words..."Give me all the money or I will kill you." Unfortunately for the criminal wordsmith, the store cashier was unimpressed - that person called another employee over, and the suspect ran off without any money.
January 25th - Dutch Harbor, Alaska
A man called police and reported his television remote had been stolen the previous day. An officer responded to the victim’s residence and quickly located a remote in the house, but the victim advised the officer that the remote he found was his back-up remote and his primary remote which had clearly been stolen since he was unable to find it. According to police, the matter is not under investigation.
January 16th - Strongsville, Ohio
Police were called to Chase Bank after a woman demanded $10,000 and threatened to put a curse on the employees if they did not give her the money. The woman, who was a former customer, said the curse involved both a stomach illness and "constant diarrhea." When police arrived, the woman was gone. However, when she returned the following day, for the $10,000 or to enact her curse, the woman was arrested by police. No word on whether her stomach flu spell worked.
January 1st - Jensen Beach, Florida
A 30-year-old man was arrested October 1 in the drive-thru of the Taco Bell. Deputies arrived to find him either passed out or sleeping — and smelling of booze — with his foot on the truck’s gas pedal. According to police, when they asked the man for his I.D., he handed the officers a taco.