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jun 8th
SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 6-8-15


May 22nd City of Greenfield
A woman called 911 to complain that the fish she bought at a local seafood store was bad. The caller was advised that bad fish was not an emergency, therefore, not an acceptable use of 911.

May 20th City of Waukesha
Officers responded to a domestic disturbance call after a man and his girlfriend began fighting. The man became angry after the woman wouldn't have sex with him. The woman reportedly had told the man that if he didn't get her cigarettes he wasn't "getting any."

May 27th Village of Shorewood
A female resident reported a call from a man who told her he admired her and when asked who he was he said “I can’t tell you”. He also said he didn’t like “her walk” and they would “have to work on that.”

May 28th City of Germantown
Police responded to a residence after a caller reported a man wearing a white tank top and jean shorts lighting off firecrackers at about 4:20 a.m.. Police located the suspect, a 31-year-old man, who admitted lighting off the fireworks because, he said it calmed his nerves.

May 10 Village of Oregon
A 34-year-old man went into the bank and asked the staff how they would feel if someone shot up a café or school before leaving. The man said he was just opening people's eyes about bad things that happen.

June 2nd Dane County
The 57-year-old pastor of a church was the victim of an armed robbery. According to police, the culprits made off with the pastor's wallet....and Bible.

June 2nd Dane County
Three men walking in a grassy area told police they were nearly hit by a car after the driver steered it off the roadway and at the pedestrians. The men were able to step out of the way. The driver, who is acquainted with at least one of the victims, told police he was just trying to make a point. It was not clear what point that was but, according to police, it had something to do with President Obama, Pontius Pilate, and "Planet Armenia."

May 31st Dane County
A 51-year-old woman reported the theft of a "big, mature, blue and green agave plant from her yard". The plant was described as being 4 feet wide, 4 feet tall, really heavy ... with 9 to 10 long pointy leaves with spines at the end of each branch. According to police, "no signs of struggle were visible" during the plant napping.