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may 4th
TOP TEN THINGS THAT TED CRUZ IS GOING TO DO NOW



WHAT TED CRUZ IS GOING TO DO NOW

10. Is going to start a new website called Punchable Face…book.

9. Will spend several weeks in a deep funk unable to get out of bed giving a new meaning to the name “Lyin’ Ted”.

8. Plans to spend more time with his family…and elbowing them in the face.

7. Will just kick back and relax with a couple of Molson’s like any good Canadian.

6. Will admit that he really is the Zodiac Killer, the lead singer of Stryper, Kevin from The Office and also Becky with the good hair.

5. Will have his running mate Carly Fiorina do what she does best…and let her fire his campaign staff.

4. Is going to get together with some buddies and a basketball to shoot some “rings”.

3. Going back to tucking his daughters in at night, giving them their good night kisses and watching them flinch.

2. He's going to Disneyland...oh, wait that's just for winners.

1. Will decide if he should license the new name John Boehner gave him last week, "Lucifer in the Flesh", to be used by a Rock Band, Race Horse or Porn Film.