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jan 11th
REASONS RICK REALLY WANTS THE PACKERS TO BEAT DALLAS


REASONS RICK REALLY WANTS PACKERS TO BEAT THE COWBOYS.


10. Even if he had 50 colons, Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger a-hole.

9. Even if he made the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest odd-toed ungulate, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger jackass.

8. Even if his parents were house flies and he fed exclusively on rotting flesh, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger maggot.

7. Even if he had a long tail that could be used to make paint brushes and spewed road apples from his mouth, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger horse’s ass.

6. Even if he held 500 gallons of viscous, gelatinous goo, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger slime bucket.

5. Even if he was spherically shaped and made entirely of feces, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger turd ball.

4. Even if he was born with a pouch designed to hold copious amounts of extraneous matter skimmed from the surface of foul, brackish water, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger scumbag.

3. Even if he replaced every drop of blood in his circulatory system with vinegar and water, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger douche-bag.

2. Even if he were attached to Ron Jeremy’s balls, Jerry Jones couldn’t be a bigger dick.

1. It will piss off Troy Aikman.