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aug 5th 2009
Men's Health magazine offers a list of 15 facts you didn't know about your unit. Here are several of them .... including my comments in italics.

1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the little guy.

-- Another reason to be thankful for Wisconsin's statewide smoking ban!

2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh.

-- So disturbing. Not the idea of having burned skin replaced with foreskin... the thought of seeing the grounds crew unroll a huge tarp of foreskin every time it rains at Wrigley Field.

3. The average male orgasm lasts six seconds. Women get 23 seconds. (Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure guys had four orgasms for every one of theirs.)

-- Of course, a lot of women would be happy to get one orgasm for every four that a guy has, so I suppose that evens things out.

4. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure.

-- I am not that one man.

5. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).

-- I was in the pool! There was shrinkage! It's a grower!!

6. An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.

-- So the statistics are in your favor when you tell her that it gets bigger than this... really, it does.

7. German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds.

-- So it feels longer than it is? Bonus!

8. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm-and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.

-- Ladies - that means ugly guys are less likely to get you pregnant! Remember that next time we awkwardly hit on you at a bar.

posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 5th 2009
Between the drunk cop cruising around and pulling over drivers who weren't doing anything wrong... plus that the cop's name was MacCubbin (which sounds an awful lot like McLovin)... this just seems like someone combined the movies Super Troopers and Superbad.

I'll assume the story is true and that the reporter didn't just get stoned, watch a couple of movies over the weekend, and get confused.

Get the full story here.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 4th 2009
I've always been fascinated when famous people drop the pretense and act like the a-holes they really are.

Admittedly, the people they're yelling at sometimes deserve it. But it's still nice to see that even celebrities can get really pissed off too.

So, in case you haven't heard it enough...

WARNING: inappropriate language.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

aug 4th 2009
take off "f*ck" words and he's very understadable .Above,it's the director who lost control on set and i believe there was other trouble than the DP on this set! script for example and weariness
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 28th 2009
I've been sorely disappointed by the last few Tim Burton movies (especially his remakes of Planet of the Apes and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). So when I heard Burton was remaking Alice in Wonderland, I was skeptical.

On one hand it seems like the perfect Burton material. On the other hand there's the recent track record of bad remakes (see above).

But two things have me back in line to see the new Alice. One is the teaser trailer. See it here :

The other (more important) thing that's got me ready to see the movie is the casting of Mia Wasikowska as Alice. Mia was previously on the HBO series In Treatment as a teenage gymnast with some major issues. Her performance was one of the best I've ever seen from a young actress. She definitely has a bright future in front of her, and hopefully she can bring some of that depth to the character of Alice... something more than the simple girl who's just observing all the oddness of Wonderland.

posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 28th 2009
OK, this is really depressing...

Wired has come out with a list of 100 things that you and I may remember, but kids today don't use or even know about.

I feel old.

But this article written by a 13-year-old kid who was given his dad's old Walkman is even more depressing:

Damned kids and their newfangled toys. Back in my day I had to press real buttons that ran mechanical gears to pull a piece of magnetic tape from one reel to another in order to hear music. And it could only be a dozen songs or so, and you had to flip the tape over to hear the other half of the songs. And if I didn't like the song that was playing, I had to hold down the fast forward button until the tape got to the next song... and hopefully I wouldn't hold it down too long and end up missing the beginning and having to rewind a bit back.

Screw you and your shuffle button.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 24th 2009
My Three Songs today:
1. Judas Priest - Breakin' the Law
2. Eric Clapton - Cocaine
3. Van Halen - Ice Cream Man

The theme: This guy, who begged to get an ice cream vendors license from the Green Bay city council, only to get busted for selling cocaine two days later.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 22nd 2009
Crocs... those ugly damned rubber shoe-like things... are on the verge of going broke. Yes, they've sold over 100,000,000 pairs since 2002, but that doesn't make them good. Frankly I hope they aren't able to pay off their debts by the September deadline so I never have to see another pair again.

Seriously, look at them. They're rubber freaking clown shoes.

I understand that they may have their use. Wearing them around the garden. Maybe as shower shoes for the college dorm. Letting your little kids wear them to the community pool. Fine.

But I see people wearing these stupid things all over in public. The mall, nice restaurants, even church. The way I see it, Crocs are like Bunny Slippers... fine to wear around the house, but I never want to see them elsewhere.

Hopefully very soon, I won't have to.

For the full story on Crocs' financial woes, click here...
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2009
It's Phoebe Cates' birthday today... just another reason to fantasize about her red bikini scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Just make sure to lock the bathroom door.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 16th 2009
So the Rick & Len Small Town Golf Outing is tomorrow at Mid Vallee Golf Course in De Pere. I'm definitely looking forward to raising money for the American Red Cross, and getting a little golf in too (just bought a new golf bag and putter yesterday).

So to get warmed up... how about some Caddyshack clips?
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 10th 2009

I've been featured in the Post-Crescent for having H1N1 virus...

Check out the article here:
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jul 6th 2009
Mmmmm... Swine flu... And I got it.

Yep. That's right. I, Elwood, had a confirmed case of the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as "swine flu." And wow did it suck.

I started feeling a little under the weather on my last night in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, last Saturday. At first I thought I had just gotten too much sun. But after a night of fighting off chills, a miserable day of travel back to Wisconsin, and a long night in my own bed fighting what was clearly now a bad fever... I knew I was really sick.

After a doctor's visit Monday and three days of waiting around the house, I got the call from the Appleton Health Department: "You've tested positive for H1N1."

Let me say this: I was a huge Swine Flu skeptic. I'd been saying for weeks that the panic over swine flu was overblown and that I was as scared of swine flu as I was of bird flu and monkey pox... which is to say, not at all.

One week later, let me say this: Swine flu will kick your ass. Massive fever and headache. Zero appetite. Bad cough. Exhaustion like you would not believe. Five days of movement from the bed to the couch... then back to bed. That's it. Miserable.

On the other hand, if you're looking for a diet that'll drop 10 pounds in a week without doing any exercise (or moving at all, really), I'd be happy to come over and cough on you.

Thankfully, I'm no longer contagious, feel a lot better, and am finally getting my appetite back. So I'm back to work, ready to rock.

Be sure to wash your hands.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 22nd 2009
Wade Boggs doesn't want steroid users in the baseball Hall of Fame. Right on, Wade!

posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 17th 2009
An Oregon man who was reported missing by his wife has turned up...

He and his wife had a fight in which she told him if he didn't like things, he could just leave. So he did.

For a week.


No big deal, except for the fact that he didn't tell anyone (especially his wife) where he was going, and police from three counties got involved in what became a missing persons case.

Check out the full story from The Oregonian here.

No word on whether he caught anything other than hell from his wife.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

jun 6th 2009
I've started a task for myself, in which I will watch every DVD in my collection. Not in some random order. Not even alphabetical or chronological order. Instead, I'll watch them in such an order that each film must be connected to the one that follows it by sharing an actor or director.

For example: If I watch Schindler's List, I could follow it up with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, because both were directed by Stephen Spielberg. I could then follow Close Encounters with What About Bob? since both star Richard Dreyfuss.

If you'd like to follow along on the project, you can go to or click the Six Degrees of DVD Project link on my page at

I hope you enjoy following along as much as I'm enjoying watching the movies and trying like hell to connect them all.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 28th 2009
I mentioned on the air today that I really wanted to see the movie Drag Me To Hell when it comes out this weekend, and that I haven't seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation or Star Trek yet, even though I really want to. But I did see Angels & Demonsthis week.

Then I got this email from listener Adam in Green Bay:
So, you chose to go to "Angels and Demons" over "Wolverine" or "Star Trek"? I think you lost some man points there. I've seen the two latter movies, and may see the former on disc. Not to sure, I was a huge fan of the book, and normally find it disappointing to watch the movies. Wolverine and Star Trek were awesome. You should really see them.

Thanks Adam. Yeah, I've lost some man points. But any guy who's married has probably had the same conversation that my wife and I had earlier this week:

Me: "Hey, let's see a movie tonight"
Her: "Sure, what's out"
Me: "What about Wolverine?"
Her: "Uh, no."
Me: "Star Trek is really supposed to be awesome."
Her: "I have no desire to see that."
Me: "Terminator Salvation?"
Her: [rolls her eyes]
Me: "How about Dance Flick?"
Her: "What??"
Me: "Just kidding. Angels and Demons?"
Her: "OK."

This is why my Netflix queue has over 200 movies in it. And why I probably won't actually see Drag Me To Hell this weekend. Oh well.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

may 5th 2009
Yesterday was the anniversary of Moe Howard's death. Moe, or as I like to call him, "The Angry Stooge," was the glue that held the other stooges together. Larry's the dumb one. Curly's the crazy one. Moe's the smart one... if that can be said of any of the Stooges. Moe always had the plan... the job... the scheme. Then the other two would get out of line, and Moe would have to smack some sense into them. Of course, then it would escalate until everyone was slapping, bonking, nose-grabbing, ear-twisting, and eye-poking each other to the point that everything fell apart. Simple but brilliant, every time.

Of course, it wasn't always Moe, Larry, and Curly. We can't forget the "Lesser Stooges" including Shemp (actually the older brother of Moe and Curly, and the funniest of the Lesser Stooges), then Joe Besser, then Curly Joe DeRita. Not as brilliant as Curly... but still damn good.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 10th 2009
I'm a bit of a Simpsons fanatic. So I'm very excited that the US Postal Service is coming out with Simpsons stamps on May 7th. You can pre-order them now through the USPS web site...

My only hope is that there are future editions of the stamps with other characters... Moe, Barney, Apu, Burns & Smithers, Ralph Wiggum (his stamp wouldn't be sticky because he eats all the paste), and of course the stamp for Bart's pet elephant Stampy.

Click here for more info on the Simpsons stamps.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 9th 2009

Ahh... Major League Baseball is under way. And my Cubbies are alone in first place (at least for a day). Nice to see the team win the first series of the season. Nice to see Soriano homer in each of the first two games. Not so nice to see Geovany Soto go down with a shoulder injury in the second game of the year. Hopefully it won't be too serious.

Should be a good Cubs / Brewers series at Miller Park this weekend. Go Cubs!
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post

apr 9th 2009
Happy 83rd birthday to Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner... and an excuse for a few pictures of Hef's past and current hot girlfriends.

The guy is well past retirement age, and still running the magazine. Plus, despite breakups with former "Girls Next Door" Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, and Bridget Marquardt...

Hef has quickly rebounded to three new hotties, Crystal Harris, Karissa Shannon, and Kristina Shannon.

And YES, the Shannon girls are TWINS.

God bless ya Hef. Here's to many more years of living the dream.
posted by: Road Show at 12:00 am Comment On This Post