WAPL

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.30.10

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton police officer who reportedly gave a 22-year-old girl who puked on the curb while waiting for a cab a $200.00 citation for "littering" because, as she was later informed, "puking will not be tolerated in Appleton".

So,

For assuming she was drunk when she may have been just training to be a super model.

For disrupting her while she was in the process of delivering a pavement pizza.

For interfering while she was kindly guiding some emigrants out of Tummyland.

And for violating the girl's right to religious freedom by interrupting her while she was doing the next best thing to praying to the porcelain god, which is giving offerings to the cement deity.

We are proud to name the Appleton police officer who cited the girl for littering because she vomited as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Bugs Bunny turned 70 this week. You can tell Bugs is getting older since:
a. He keeps taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque.
b. He no longer cares if it?s duck season or rabbit season.
c. The only time he ever says "What's up, doc?" is when his physician is checking his prostate.

Among the celebrities who were NOT invited to Warner Brothers 70th birthday bash for Bugs Bunny was Richard Gere. The reason Gere was not invited was:
a. he's not a fan of Bugs.
b. the violence in the Bugs Bunny cartoons runs counter to his Buddhist beliefs.
c. they didn't want him going home with a wild hare up his ass.

Ryan Seacrest is reportedly "dating" dancer Juliana Hough. The two are a perfect match since:
a. she appears on Dancing with the Stars and he appears on American Idol.
b. she's 5 foot 1 and he's 5 foot 2.
c. she's light on her feet and he's light in his loafers.

Saturday night the Packers are hosting a movie night at Lambeau Field and will show the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The reason they chose this movie was:
a. it's a story about overcoming adversity.
b. it's a family film that's sure to entertain parents and kids alike.
c. it's based on the life of Bears' quarterback Jay Cutler.

Sheboygan officials are reportedly trying to finalize a deal to have a casino built in the city's South Pier District. Some are against the building of a casino in city because:
a. they believe gambling is a sin.
b. they fear it will attract an unsavory element.
c. they believe the last thing Sheboygan needs is more losers.

A man facing the death penalty for a double homicide in Utah wrote a letter to his local newspaper from jail this week complaining about the credibility of the testimony against him and requesting the newspaper editor put Garfield back on their comics page. The main reason he wanted the paper to start running Garfield is:
a. it's just damn funny.
b. he also hates Mondays and loves lasagna.
c. If convicted, Garfield is the last pussy he's ever going to see.

FLYING HIGH AT E.A.A.

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

LINDSEY LOHAN should be at Airventure 2010...because she could get really high without setting off her ankle bracelet.

MEL GIBSON should be at Airventure 2010...where perhaps some experienced stunt pilot could advise him how to pull his a career out of it's nosedive.

SARAH PALIN should be at Airventure 2010... to explain how every time a plane takes off it "refutiates" Newton's Law of Gravity.

THE OCTOMOM should be at Airventure 2010...because they need someplace big enough to park the Goodyear blimp. (and if the pilot could find his keys, he'd fly it out of there)

DICK CHENEY should be at Airventure 2010...because the air shows are so exciting they could give him a pulse.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON should be at Airventure 2010...because most attendees really appreciate a great set of nosecones.

PRESIDENT OBAMA should be at Airventure 2010...because listening to the loud, droning sound of the engines could help prepare him for sitting between Barbara Walters and Joy Behar during his Friday appearance on The View.

TEA PARTY FOUNDER JUSTIN PHILIPS should be at Airventure 2010...to see if it's even possible to get something off the ground that only has a right wing.

AL GORE should be at Airventure 2010...because it appears that after a "hard-landing" on Tuesday, NASCAR team owner Jack Roush is going to be okay giving that story a happy ending and as we recently learned, Al Gore loves a "happy ending"!

FROM LATE NIGHT TO EARLY MORNING

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Keith Alberstadt will join us in the studio for the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8. Keith, who has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman is appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton through Saturday night.

Tonight is WAPL night at the Skyline. Mention that when you make your reservation at 920-734-JOKE and get 2 for 1 admission.

Here's Keith making his network debut on the Late Show.

RICK AND LEN SHOW LOCAL MUG SHOT OF THE MONTH FOR JULY 2010!

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Trisha Lynn Kasperek, 24, of Appleton. One of the 4 suspects in Sunday's robbery of the Burger King in the Town of Buchanan.

She has the same look I would have if I saw the Burger King naked!

GROOMED FOR A LIFE OF CRIME

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Did you hear about the Fond du Lac wedding this past weekend that lead to 1 noise complaint, 3 domestic disputes, 1 bar fight and a car crash? The Fond du Lac Reporter has all the details but we were wondering, what exactly are the signs your marriage might be off to a bad start?

If you have to pawn your wedding gifts to bail out the mother of the bride...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your wedding has started more fights than a case of cheap Irish whiskey...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you remember the date of your first anniversary because that's the day your best man is getting paroled...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the end of the reception, fewer of your guests have shared the wedding cake than are now sharing a cell with Lindsey Lohan...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the time you say "I do", there are more people in hand cuffs than at a bondage party at George Michael's house...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If instead of clinking their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss, guests just bang their tin cups against the bars on their cell doors...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the priest presiding over the ceremony changes the words "You may kiss the bride" to "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE"...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you choose to get married in a church with a priest but all the guests ended up at a courthouse with a judge...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the bride has her "something old, something new, and something borrowed" but the "something blue" is the flashing lights atop the squad car that keeps carting away the wedding guests...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your guests account for a noise complaint, three domestic disputes, a tavern fight and a hit-and-run crash...your marriage is definitely off to a bad start.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.26.10

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

July 21st City of Stevens Point
An 18-year-old Mosinee man was cited for retail theft after he left Fleet Farm without paying for a pair of fuzzy dice he had concealed in his pants.

July 17th City of Beaver Dam
A 34-year-old man contacted police and reported that he ordered a mail order bride named "Natalia" from Russia and she was suppose to arrive to his home on Madison Street to marry him but she did not show up.

July 20th City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police received an anonymous report of a young female screaming on 12th Street. A responding officer found the screams were coming from a girl...refusing to go to bed.

July 6th City of Appleton
Police received a report of a 22-year-old male on County KK wearing a blue and white football jersey and going door to door asking residents for alcohol.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
A van driver waiting to pick up railroad employees in the Extended Stay Hotel lobby, called police to report a man walked up to her, said he was looking for a good time, flashed some money and licked her ear.

July 18th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report that a man who tried talking to her while shopping threw at tube of toothpaste at her in Walmart.

July 13th Village of Pulaski
Police were called to Colonial Courts where a dispute between a mother and daughter was triggered by the mother's refusal to give the girl money for Dairy Queen.

July 8th City of Glendale
Police received a report of a man who stole sunglasses and jewelry from The Boston Store. The man was described as being intoxicated with a large, wet urine stain in the front of his pants.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
Two 15-year-old Milwaukee girls were arrested for retail theft after they put merchandise valued at $205 in their purses at Macy's. The girls said they were "used to being spoiled" but now their families didn't have as much money to spoil them so they had to steal the items they wanted.

July 8th City of Manitowoc
A man caught shoplifting live worms started a fight with the clerk at an East Street business who tried to prevent him from leaving the store. The man, who already had an outstanding warrant, was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge as well as possession of drug paraphernalia, second-offense possession of alcohol by a minor and retail theft under $10 for the worms. The man admitted he took the worms because he just wanted to go fishing.

TOP TEN SIGNS OF TOO MUCH RAIN

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Here are the Top Ten Signs that we've had TOO MUCH @$*#&%! RAIN!

10) Waterfest is now calling itself Too Much Waterfest.

9) The Fox River Mall has taken the word "Mall" off the sign.

8) The S.S. Badger Ferry now serves the Fox Cities.

7) Two River is now Three Rivers (or "Trivvers" is now "Thrivvers").

6) Oshkosh has changed the city slogan from Oshkosh On the Water to
Oshkosh Under the Water.

5) You may now use Fox 11's Tom Milbourn's head as a flotation device.

4) The EAA grounds are the new host of the Tall Ship Festival.

3) Green Bay's new "Zippin' Pippin" roller-coaster is being reformatted as
a waterslide attraction called "The Drippin' Pippin."

2) WAPL's Roxanne Steele is getting rusty.

And the number one sign that we've had too much rain...

BP is doing more deep water oil well drilling...in Black Creek!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.23.10

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
Outagamie County Board Supervisor Peter Beckley, who this week was charged
drunk driving...for the fourth time!

Police say he was driving without headlights on one night last February when an officer tried to pull him over. But even though the cop had his squad car lights and siren on, Beckley didn't pull over. Instead he drove into his own driveway and tried to walk into his house. The criminal complaint says he then refused a sobriety test and told the officer "this is my house" and ordered the cop off the property. By the way, his license was already suspended from his third O-W-I.

So,

For apparently thinking that no matter how drunk you are, as long as you make it home, you're good. No ticket for you.

For allegedly having a point-oh-two-one blood alcohol content, which is apparently about twice as high as his I-Q.

And for doing his level best as the county's Finance Committee Chairman to keep the county in the black by paying lots of drunk driving fines.

We are proud to name Outagamie County Board Supervisor and accused four-time drunk driving offender Peter Beckley as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

MO MANDEL ON THE SHOW FRIDAY!

waplstudio@wcinet.com (WAPL) — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 CST

Tune in Friday between 8 and 9 a.m. for comic Mo Mandel who is appearing this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton.
Raised by hippies in the woods of northern California, Mo Mandel used to lie awake at night listening to his mother?s samba band practicing in the room next door. This is when Mo first considered performing himself, more specifically, performing matricide. Mandel first gained national attention by winning Comedy Central?s ?Open Mic Fight? in 2007, and has since made numerous appearances on ?Live at Gotham,? as well as starring in all eight episodes of the cult hit show, ?Reality Bites Back.? Mandel has also made numerous appearances on ?Chelsea Lately,? ?The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.? Most recently Mandel was chosen to play one of the leads in a new sitcom pilot for FOX by the creators of ?Will and Grace,? opposite Emmy award winning actress Laurie Metcalf and Jere Burns.
Click here to sample Mo's act.