Two items about The Masters that I think are related… 1. The TV coverage of golf’s most august event were down 13% last year. And 2. The Masters have banned the use of certain phases by the gallery. The use of these phrases will result in an immediate expulsion from the course. One of those phrases… “Dilly, dilly”. While I myself think the word “dilly” should ONLY be used when ordering frozen treats at Dairy Queen, this leads me to believe that their hard stance against fun might be one of the reasons for the declining ratings (well, that and golfers who don’t stand for the National Anthem). So, here’s…
WAYS TO MAKE THE MASTERS MORE INTERESTING
If they would replace those little pencils for keeping score with Crayola glitter pens…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If they let Tiger Wood’s ex-wife run over everyone who doesn’t make the cut…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If they just cut tasteful nipple holes in the green jacket…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If they change the spelling on Liter Board and rank players on which one downs a liter of whiskey the fastest…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If they replace golfer Jimmy Walker with comedian Jimmy Walker and just wait for hilarious “Dy-no-mite” jokes to ensue…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If the winner gets to wear not only the green jacket but also, the runner ups wife’s ass like a hat…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If any players named Jordan, Jason or Justin who doesn’t win will be required to quit professional golf and together start a boy band…it might make the Masters more interesting.
If they replaced commentators with Buck and Aikman just to see what happens when those two are around people armed with clubs… it might make the Masters more interesting.
If the penalty for violating the no “Dilly, Dilly” rule was an on-camera Bud Light enema… it might make the Masters more interesting.
