I love cool hotels. So, this past weekend I decided to check out a relatively new one right in our own back yard…Lodge Kohler in Green Bay. The hotel was cool. The staff were very nice. The cocktail bar was sublime. The room was tasteful. The view was okay (but they said we would be able to see a field but there was a big, green building in the way).
However, the real star attraction as you might expect at a Kohler property was the striking, modern bathroom. It featured two decorative round basin sinks, dual flush toilet and a shower with three heads and digital thermostat! Fantastic! However, it felt like they put so much care into the bathroom and then. when it came to the toilet paper just went with whatever was cheapest. It wasn’t the worst TP I’ve encountered by any measure. But it sure didn’t live up to the rest of the bathroom. Here’s my signs your toilet paper might suck! -Rick-
If it’s as abrasive as a President Trump Sunday morning Twitter rant…your toilet paper might suck.
If the hardest part about using it, is afterward finding someone to tweeze the splinters out of your O-ring…your toilet paper might suck.
It it’s rougher than a badger’s foreskin…your toilet paper might suck.
If it leaves your backdoor so red the Rolling Stones want to paint it black…your toilet paper might suck.
If it leaves your hinder as raw as the daily special at a discount sushi joint…your toilet paper might suck.
If it leaves your butthole as puckered as Harvey Weinstein’s lips in a pool full of actresses…your toilet paper might suck.
If after every use the Wisconsin Department of Transportation erects road closed sign on your Hershey Highway…your toilet paper might suck.
If it’s more coarse than the language at a Green Bay City Council meeting before Guy Zima left…your toilet paper definitely sucks!