Ha-Ha Clinton Dix didn’t attend either of the OTAs last week. While they were optional, he was the ONLY Packer player who might have been expected to participate who did not.
TOP TEN POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS AS TO THE WHEREABOUTS OF HA-HA CLINTON DIX?
10. Is helping former teammate Damarious Randall try to find a really good volume discount on jerseys…you know, just in case.
9. Watching Planet of the Apes to see if any of them look like Roseanne.
8. Somewhere with Hillary’s e-mails and Obama’s birth certificate.
7. Helping Wayne Larrivee clean and polish his extensive collection of antique daggers.
6. Competing in Most Ridiculously Named Celebrity competition with Meta World Peace and Benedict Cumberbatch.
5. At the bottom of my friend Amy’s purse. She can never find anything in there.
4. Helping Dom Capers fill out unemployment compensation forms.
3. Playing intense game of hide and seek for the last 26 days with the also missing Melania Trump.
2. Was hanging with Monica Lewinsky who has always been a big fan of Clinton-Dix.
1. Getting a sex change and from now on will be known as Hoo-Ha Clinton Dix.