A 25-year-old Baltimore man has been convicted of stabbing a “snitch”, robbing some banks and selling a whole lot of drugs. But what distinguishes him from other of his ilk is his amazing nickname. The days of Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel and George “Baby Face” Nelson are long gone. No, this guy, a member of Baltimore’s “Up Da Hill” Gang, is known as Lamont “Butt Juice” Jones! Yes, “Butt Juice” Jones. While part of me would like to know how he got that nickname, I’m ultimately happy The Baltimore Sun spared us the details. Here’s some other names we came up with that would be ALMOST as bad as Lamont “Butt Juice” Jones. Come up with some of your own!
Tony “Pees a Little When he Laughs” Caesario
Delmond “the Enlarged Prostate” Jefferson
Larry “Mosquito Penis” Sacamano
Antoine “Mr. Sassypants” Jackson
Boris “Genital Herp” Smederoff
Eddie “Runs Like a Girl” Wilson
Rocco “Blood in his Stool” Grazzi
Jimmy “Granny Panties” Tataglia
Mickey “Summer’s Eve” Moscowitz
Roger “Sticky Taint” Flenderson
