Green Bay doesn’t have a rat problem, Green Bay has a rat opportunity!
A company called Right Pet just finished up an eight-year survey of 16,792 people from 113 countries and found that the pet that kids want the most isn’t a dog or a cat . . . or even a goldfish, a gerbil, a bunny, a guinea pig, a snake, or a turtle. Nope . . . they want RATS. And Green Bay has plenty. Now is the time to cash in. Replace Titletown USA with Rat City USA. All Green Bay needs is a good ad slogan! Try these on for size!
10. You’re among rodents.
9. We’re squirmin’ with vermin!
8. More bars than churches, more rats than cats.
7. The city that never sleeps…because who can sleep when the place is crawling with rats.
6. Come for the Packers. Stay to get treated for hantavirus.
5. If you think our evil clown is scary, you should see our rodent population.
4. Even more rats than have made a deal with Robert Mueller.
3. Orlando only has a mouse. We’ve got rats! Big f’n rats!
2. What happens in Green Bay stays in Green Bay because nobody wants to hear about the infection you contracted getting bitten by rats in Green Bay.
1. Not ALL our small, creepy, beady-eyed creatures are the mayor.