A zoo in Telford, England has a problem. Due to a penguin shortage they’ve resorted to putting models of the birds in their flightless, aquatic bird enclosure.
Here’s Rick and Len’s signs you might be at a bad zoo. (Not that the Telford zoo is bad. I’m sure it’s great! They just have fake penguins)
SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE AT A BAD ZOO
If the penguins are really just a bunch of midget nuns … you might be at a bad zoo.
If every time one of the zookeepers gets close to goats he gets a really noticeable boner.
If NOT one of the geckos has a cheesy British accent and offers tips on how to save money on your car insurance… you might be at a bad zoo.
If the weasel exhibit is just members of the Green Bay city council… you might be at a bad zoo.
If the hamburgers in the cafe taste suspiciously like giraffe… you might be at a bad zoo.
If their rodent enclosure is just Richard Gere’s butthole… you might be at a bad zoo.
If the zebras are just white horses dressed up in Footlocker uniforms… you might be at a bad zoo.
If the creepy guy wandering around the petting zoo is named Sterling … you might be at a bad zoo. (It’s not a heavy petting zoo, after all)
If the only reason the baboon’s ass is red is its untreated case of prolapsed hemorrhoids… you might be at a bad zoo.
If the monkeys are so old, the feces they throw is in colostomy bags… you are definitely at a bad zoo.
